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letsmakekill
Tak Aprt Yr Hed
Registered: 12/20/06
Posts: 196
Loc: Iceland
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet.
#6891037 - 05/08/07 09:17 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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In many of my psychedelic experiences, never had i imagined that a trip could turn into something bad. I always felt that anything 'bad' that was possible of occurring while in that state of mind would only amuse and fascinate me. Though a majority of my trips consisted of only 'medium' doses (anywhere from 2.5g - 3.5g) that would produce sometimes strong, but generally mild effects. No matter how much i decided to eat, i never fully reached where i wanted my mind to go. A main reason for this is its rather hard tripping on anything over an 1/8th considering prices of that quantity usually range from $35 to $40 here. Until as of recently had i decided to not eat any psychedelic drug unless it was of a higher dose than what i was accustomed to - so anytime shrooms were up for grabs, i would buy them and store them until i had enough to eat. My goal, 4 grams of some very potent psilocybin cubes i managed to get my hands on over the past month. I figured that after having about 6 LSD trips under my belt, along with 7 or 8 mushrooms trips, that i was more than prepared to eat this new amount. However, i do not think my head/body was expecting any of the following which took place;
At 11:00 pm on Wednesday night, i busted out my 4 grams of mushies that i had been storing in my closest for the past few weeks, in anticipation that the perfect night to dose was at hand. After ingesting them along with a glass of some orange juice, i decided to call up a friend in hopes of taking my mind off the anticipation of the journey of which was instore. Around 11:35 i had begun feeling minimal effects - posters around my room were starting to 'breathe', lights everywhere shone much brighter than normal, and my body was beginning to have an incredible sensation shot throughout. I figured it would be best to light up a jay to try and settle the comeup so i would feel more balanced. Leaning my back against my garage door and peering out into the other houses that surrounded my own, i started to feel the mushrooms taking over. The lights in front of my house were casting reflections of light shading from blue to a deep red, and then sinking slowly back into a light blue. Lighting a cigarette, i began thinking more in depth about mushrooms, and how they worked;
I realized that the mushroom is somewhat comparable to a 'god' - having the ability and power to bestow beautiful sights and sounds into the mind, that cannot be achieved while in the sober state. After being shown these mysterious wonders does the mind then allow you to sink deep within yourself and become one with your every surrounding - uncovering most of what is hidden/overlooked in normal 'reality'.
The massive amount of tree branches across the street began to take shape; forming into small several wooden huts that closely resembled those built by Indians. It was if i could actually see little black figments of people living in these houses, which astonished me at the time. After finishing my cigarette and taking in all of which was happening around me, i decided it was time to go back up to my room so i could meditate, in hopes of reaching full effects of the mushroom. Opening the backdoor and lunging my body into the house, i noticed everything seemed to be distorted or somewhat slanted. Climbing the stairs was somewhat difficult to keep balance, but knowing i was soon to reach my room kept me at a constant pace. Entering my room i turned off all the lights, lit a candle and some incense for good vibes, and turned on some ambient music to help bring my visions and immense bodily sensations to life. Upon laying on my futon, my entire room was filled with brilliant colors and distortions. Closing my eyes lifted great kaleidoscope images along with intricate designs. It was now sometime around 12:30 and i felt as though i was peaking pretty hard. Not a thing in the world could have ruined what wonders had filled my head and body -- or so i thought.
My mind started wondering too far off track. My thoughts were racing as i recalled my one friend eating mushies from the same batch as some of the ones i had, and getting somewhat ill (upset stomach, vomiting). I started to worry that i was going to get sick because of how intense everything was - i could no longer feel any part of my body as i lay motionless on my futon. I became entirely detached from my room, and my own personal being. I could no longer feel myself breathing, nor my heart beating, or any sense of feeling in my arms and legs. Being concerned that i was no longer breathing, i had to hold my hand infront of my mouth so i could be positive that my lungs were still working. After being pulled so far away into complete nothingness, i sat up in horror that i might die. That possibly i did not store my mushrooms properly and that they had developed a sort of mold that was causing me to lose all my senses, and would eventually end up killing me, or that i had possibly eaten a bad mushroom. I tried swallowing, but could not feel any sensation trickling down my throat. It felt as though my entire body was cleansed, and there was nothing left inside. I became scared that if i laid back down and tried meditation once more, that i would stop breathing and die, falling endlessly into blackness. The time now was around 1:15 or 1:30, and so i decided to go back outside and do some more exploring. It made sense to me that if i was outside walking around and smoking a cigarette, that it would give me the utmost satisfaction of knowing death was not plausible, and that i still existed.
Outside walking up and down the streets of my neighborhood, i had noticed a significant loss of body function. It was as if i could not feel my veins -- almost as if i was a 'lifeless' as the concrete i was walking on. The only part of my entire body that was still functioning properly was my mind, and my inner being that now somewhat terrifies me as i recall being a little delusional and what seemed like schizophrenic. This led into a much deeper thinking process of noting that the human mind is the most complex, most beautiful 'machine' known to man. I tried convincing myself this would only last a few more hours, and life would be normal again. Though i could not comprehend the fact of what normal life was anymore. I could not recall what i was like or who i was in my sober state. The life i once i was apart of, seemed to be clouded with confusion and nonexistence. Leaning down to scratch my leg, i could not feel anything. I could not even fully comprehend if i had scratched my leg or not - scratching the same area about 5 or 6 times finally helped my brain process the sensation of which my fingertips induced. Heading back into my house, i decided once more to try and lay down so i could ease my thoughts and soothe my body's inability to feel. While laying on my futon once more, i began large insight on death and what would happen if i died that nite. How my parents would react waking up, and realizing i was dead - and for no true apparent reason. Reflecting on death, i realized i was not afraid of dying, but was moreso concerned with how the loved ones around me would react to my 'mysterious' death at the young age of 18. Before finally letting go of myself and accepting death, i had found my only reason as to why death appeared so frightening was possibly because i had not fully allowed God to enter my life. It was weird, because after realizing this, some sort of prayer of which is unknown to me, seemed to be recited throughout my entire head. I then decided that maybe a little bit of food would help cease my nausea and help better my senses, and hopefully take my mind off everything to assure i was okay. Retrieving pretzels and a pepsi from downstairs, i soon rushed back into my room and turned on some light and the television in hopes of regaining 'normalcy'.
As i started eating the pretzels, i soon remembered that i could not feel myself swallow, and soon began panicking in fear that i might choke. The only way i could ingest the food was if i chewed it up extremely well and then drank some water, and swallowed the food along with the water. About a half an hour passed, and i was becoming rather exhausted, so i made the decision to retire onto bed. This is when my trip took an ugly turn. I could not fall asleep because i could still not feel myself breathing, and felt that if i shut my eyes i would sink into unconsciousness. I laid awake tossing and turning, having the worst stomach cramps and burning sensation in my muscles. I felt like i was going to get sick a couple times, but managed to successfully keep from vomiting. The extreme tension and pain in my muscles, along with moderate gastrical cramps, had me back to thinking i had eaten something poisonous. I got on my computer (which later turned out to be a terrible idea) and looked up the symptoms of eating a poisonous mushroom. Reading the list, i had noticed i was experiencing about 4-5 of the 9 symptoms, which lead me to believe i was soon going to die, and that there was nothing i could do. Pacing around my room, i quickly become overwhelmed with the thought of falling asleep that night and not waking up in the morning. Crawling in and out of bed every so often to make sure i was still alive. I felt as though i was already dead, and simply did not exist to anyone. I kept walking in and out of my room to try and make sense of everything that was going on. Opening my door, i saw my dog laying in the hallway, which was exceptionally abnormal, seeing as though she sleeps in my parents room every night. I immediately thought i was hallucinating, and that my dog was only a figment of my imagination and that i was seeing her because i was dying. For when i gazed off down the hall, my cat who was laying in our bonus room, mysteriously vanished, and appeared right before my eyes; walking slowly into my room. As i started for the stairs, i saw what appeared to be 3-4 cats running outside the front of my house; my mind was already starting to fall apart.
Back upstairs and in bed, i found myself contemplating whether or not to awake my parents and tell them what was going on. I was still tripping really hard, and was terrified of the fact of having to tell my parents i might have eaten something poisonous mushroom, especially if i hadn't, for it would have been an ugly end to my current lifestyle. It was around 3:30, and since i couldn't fall asleep, i decided to call my friend, in high hopes of her answering. I needed some proof to clarify if i was still in existence, and was not gone from earth. Luckily she answered her phone, and i proceeded to tell her that i thought i had ate something bad and that i felt as if i was going to die. Her voice sounded so different on the phone, and had somewhat of an echo-effect. I remember having to hold the phone away from my face to make sure it was actually her i was talking to. She ended up staying on the phone with me for about 2 hours, helping me cope greatly with all of my struggles. We discussed a lot about death, and the events that had taken place hours ago, and if the symptoms i were experiencing were real, or just induced by the cause of a bad trip. Though somewhat delusional on the phone, i managed to forsee much insight on accepting everything would be okay, and if not, that there was nothing i could do about it, cept ride it out. Death isnt something to be afraid of, when every person and every living thing will someday day. Loved ones mourning my death brought the only fear i had of dying one day. But once i shut my eyes (5:00), and let go of every thought and just fell into my pillow, i knew that if i didnt wake up in the morning, i would have absolutely no control over containing everyone's sorrow. For i would be in a far better afterlive, awaiting only their presence. Awaking that next morning felt great - knowing that i had fallen asleep and survived the rest of the night. The next couple days my body ached in a several places, and i was still feeling minor gastrical pains.
This had me at a constant worry that i was poisoned with a toxin, seeing as the symptoms were still noticeable days later. Until i came to realize i had only suffered from a bad trip, that was trying to scare me away from eating mushrooms for fear of eating something poisonous that would result in death. I feel as though this was one of my best trips in a sense of the incredible learning experience, and to not ever be put in that mindset while tripping again. I believe tripping and expanding one's mind exposes the most vivid imagery and purpose of life and living; and that giving up something so beautiful over the thought of possible death is the most distasteful aspect of life itself.
-------------------- In a life we live with shreds and trees Swallow them whole right down our bellies Soon enough our eyes grew wide Soon enough we had the time to feel alive To feel alive...
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Blammo300
Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 128
Last seen: 10 months, 9 days
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Re: 4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet. [Re: letsmakekill]
#6891194 - 05/08/07 09:54 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Cool experience. My worst "bad trip" was on 4.5g and I sat around for 3 hours crying for no reason unable to listen to music or do anything but stare at the wall. The next day though I felt GREAT, like I had dropped alot of excess baggage. I would say it was one of the most intense experiences of my life.
-------------------- "Sorry, I got lost on the road of life." "I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police."
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letsmakekill
Tak Aprt Yr Hed
Registered: 12/20/06
Posts: 196
Loc: Iceland
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: 4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet. [Re: Blammo300]
#6891709 - 05/08/07 11:59 PM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Damn man. That doesn't sound too pleasant - glad to see you felt amazing the next day tho
-------------------- In a life we live with shreds and trees Swallow them whole right down our bellies Soon enough our eyes grew wide Soon enough we had the time to feel alive To feel alive...
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Priapus
Rustic fertilityGod
Registered: 04/27/07
Posts: 10
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
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Re: 4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet. [Re: letsmakekill]
#6892002 - 05/09/07 01:45 AM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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bonus room? did you win it or is it full of prizes? sorry where ya from? thats a weird thing to call a spare room. but maybe you think spare room is funny.
-------------------- "To know, and not to act, is not to know." -- Wang Yang Ming, Chinese General, 880 A.D.
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Quake3
Total Carbohydrate
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 924
Loc: Relatively New York
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: 4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet. [Re: letsmakekill]
#6892365 - 05/09/07 05:28 AM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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You say you can't trip hard on less than an 1/8th..
Make sure you haven't eaten for at least 2 hours (I used to fast 12+ hours).
Put 2g ground up in a 1/2 cup of lemon juice, and let it sit for 10-15 mins.
In the meantime, eat something light (1/2 a slice of bread) to get digestion going. You can also just take a caffeine pill or drink something caffeinated, or just OJ.
Drink the lemon juice and swallow the mushroom gunk on the bottom.
During the comeup, I personally don't like using any drug except N2O, because of its very short duration (doesn't taint the trip).
Anyway, good thing you didn't tell your parents. You should always have a trip sitter at LEAST available by phone in case these things happen. There's a thread on this forum where some members share their AIM/MSN info and some are around 24/7.. they could help you out with a bad trip.
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dedjam
Electro Penguin
Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,139
Loc: Moralton, Statesota
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: 4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet. [Re: Quake3]
#6892427 - 05/09/07 06:00 AM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sounds like you have a really great friend. I dont know many people that would stay on the phone with a tripping friend for 2 hours at 330 in the morning...thats pretty awesome.
Your trip sounds like you were approaching ego loss and tried way to hard to hold on. Next time you feel like you are dying...lay back and die...it will be the most wonderful thing you ever experience. Its hard to convince your mind not to fight it, its just something you have to prepare for.
Tripping at home with the parents in bed is a BAD idea. Id wait on future trips till you are a big boy out on your own. Obviously from your post your parents would have not been happy with you tripping in their house...not cool...one day when you grow up you will understand how not cool that is.
Good report though, and dont feel like I am bashing on you. Sounds like you had a great trip. I love trips that lead to places like where you went...you just have to push further, through death and into the REAL trip (or maybe its the real WORLD)
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letsmakekill
Tak Aprt Yr Hed
Registered: 12/20/06
Posts: 196
Loc: Iceland
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: 4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet. [Re: dedjam]
#6893166 - 05/09/07 10:29 AM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thank you all for the responses;
Priapus, i live in Indiana, and not only until you said something did i realize how stupid of a name that is for a room. Though i guess since ive moved into this house has our realator called it the "bonus room". Never really gave much thought of calllin it anything else, haha.
Quake 3, I have tried experimenting by using the lemon juice, 2 grams worth. I'm not sure, if maybe i didn't do it right or something, but the trip felt pretty normal and the come up was pretty usual (half hour to an hour). I was thinkin' that maybe the lemon juice just didn't have an effect on me... though i am more than willing to try it again, with hopes of achieving it's desired effects.
Gopenguins, i greatly respect every word you said. I kind of figured the entire thing of ego loss, but wasn't too entirely sure. I remember after sitting up though and not letting it fully overtake my body, that was extremely pissed off at myself for ruining such a great thing. But then i talked myself down into noting i would have many more trips where i could experience something so beautiful once more, especially now since i am more prepared and aware of what to expect - not to be scared of anything. As for tripping at the house with the parents, i deffinately know that's not cool. I completely understand that. But it's a shame, because although i am almost 19 years old, my parents treat me like i'm 7. They offer me no permission to stay out all night with my friends, or at someone's house. I have to be home normally by midnight, etc. So therefore tripping elsewhere is not possible, and only leaves me with my parents house. It sucks, but i'm gonna try to keep it down to a bare minimum until i move out...
Thanks all again for your words
-------------------- In a life we live with shreds and trees Swallow them whole right down our bellies Soon enough our eyes grew wide Soon enough we had the time to feel alive To feel alive...
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dedjam
Electro Penguin
Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,139
Loc: Moralton, Statesota
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: 4 Grams of Bad Trip = Best Tripping Experience Yet. [Re: letsmakekill]
#6893466 - 05/09/07 11:34 AM (16 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
letsmakekill said: Priapus, i live in Indiana, and not only until you said something did i realize how stupid of a name that is for a room. Though i guess since ive moved into this house has our realator called it the "bonus room". Never really gave much thought of calllin it anything else, haha.
Ive actually heard many people use the term. We just set up a bed no one uses and called it the guest bedroom
Quote:
letsmakekill said:Gopenguins, i greatly respect every word you said. I kind of figured the entire thing of ego loss, but wasn't too entirely sure. I remember after sitting up though and not letting it fully overtake my body, that was extremely pissed off at myself for ruining such a great thing. But then i talked myself down into noting i would have many more trips where i could experience something so beautiful once more, especially now since i am more prepared and aware of what to expect - not to be scared of anything. As for tripping at the house with the parents, i definitely know that's not cool. I completely understand that. But it's a shame, because although i am almost 19 years old, my parents treat me like I'm 7. They offer me no permission to stay out all night with my friends, or at someone's house. I have to be home normally by midnight, etc. So therefore tripping elsewhere is not possible, and only leaves me with my parents house. It sucks, but I'm gonna try to keep it down to a bare minimum until i move out...
True ego loss is not something easy to accept. I cringe sometimes reading the threads of people talking about it like it was some simple little thing they went through and now they are a new person. Ive yet to experience, or see someone experience, ego loss and it be an "easy thing". Its something you have to work towards. Don't be pissed you missed out on something, because you didn't miss out on anything...you learned something, and you got to a point you hadn't been...you prepared yourself for next time.
As for the parents, sadly they will always see you as their little kid, no matter how old you get. The best way out of that is to build a great friendship with them, so they not only see you as their child, but a trusted friend.
Good luck though, I've had extreme ego-loss/ego death span multiple trips, each getting more intense...but when you get there, when you finally give in to it all and let go...words can describe the absolute magnificence of what happens.
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