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 HunabKu
Stranger
Registered: 12/27/01
Posts: 18
Last seen: 21 years, 3 months
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 Fatherhood 
#685118 - 06/18/02 03:40 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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This might be a little futuristic for somepeople but how would you all raise a kid if you were suddenly presented with one? Let me know your hypothetical approach and here's my actual one: I'm cycling through some stripped down Buddhist stuff right now and a while back I was perusing the Tao. And in my experience raising my son I very often get the feeling that I'm stepping him backwards. He came into the world experiencing it in some way that's foreign to me. Meaning he clearly got the same impulses through his senses, yet he didn't differentiate. He was closer to the concept of wholeness/oneness and lack of suffering/desire than at any point since then. And people like his parents come along and convince him that there are "things" and these things have "words". Obviously we're well intentioned and just trying to help him so he can survive and not be bettered/taken advantage of by the evils of society. But in doing so we place all these filters and concepts on him until he slowly loses that sense of wholeness/oneness that he already had ... until finally he's running around crying if I shut off Elmo or don't give him another jelly bean. Possibly this is just how it has to be. You have to learn the concept of complexity and differentiation and a false concept of self before you can destroy it and feel comfortable with the idea of no self, no separation. So I figure I'll let him know that everybody thinks that red is red and Elephant is Elephant but if he ever wants to know where he comes from, what/why he is, or where he's going when he dies, I'm always going to boggle his mind.
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 Sclorch
Clyster
Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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 Re: Fatherhood [Re: HunabKu]
#685576 - 06/18/02 07:46 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'd say you sound like a good father.
Boggle on...
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Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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GRTUD
INFP
Registered: 01/30/01
Posts: 270
Loc: United States
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 Re: Fatherhood [Re: HunabKu]
#694574 - 06/22/02 03:36 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was looking through old threads and stumbled upon this one. I was surprised that only one person attempted a stab at this topic. It is a booby trap or Catch 22 of a question that often (replies) are recieved with hostile critisicm.
As for your topic, we are destined to make mistakes as we attempt to be a "father" which is itself a Catch 22 position. We can only "fail" by attempting to be a perfect parent. Life with a child is not a master piece which we can take credit, only a travisty that would forever be our responsibilty. We are responsable while our children are totally dependent on us as the providers for their basis human needs, which is a great place to start the process of parenting. Concentate on the simple and follow your instints on the other stuff. Don't rely on the politically correct world to direct you unless their kids are well behaved, well adjusted and adaptable (which is rarely the case). The fact that you asked, is a good sign that you are worthy of the job.
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"New shit has come to light..."
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11polakie11
PeripheralCustodian
Registered: 06/14/02
Posts: 112
Loc: G-Ville FLA
Last seen: 19 years, 9 months
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Re: Fatherhood [Re: GRTUD]
#695023 - 06/22/02 06:23 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I too think you raise an interesting point about children, and as a person with an open mind about things you see what most people don't, that children have this pure concept, this completey FULLness of life, so much joy and pain and intense experience, and there are no games, its almost like life without the ego at all. But children do live in societies where their behavior and egos are brought forth and molded, and ultimately that will happen to your child as it happened to you and countless others before and after you, so what can you do? Follow your heart I'd say.
adam
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-i am waiting for my boyfriend/compainion-
_I wish i were Aeon Flux_
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Shroomalicious
You may say I'ma dreamer...
Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 319
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 20 years, 11 months
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 Re: Fatherhood [Re: HunabKu]
#695191 - 06/22/02 10:27 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think raising a child is easy, I don't know what you people are complaining about 
That's a brilliant point man...I think you have to prepare children for THIS world and all its trappings while being mindful of more than just this world. Remeber if you didn't prepare him for this world your way, someone else would do it for you their way. So sooner or later he has got to learn, better make sure you teach him just the way you want. Its a tough question obviously.
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Shroomalicious -  I love you and in doing so I love myself, because we ARE all one - "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind and toothless". - Mahatma Ghandi
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akyouser_oner
unclefuckerextrordinaire
Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 546
Loc: standing in the shadows a...
Last seen: 20 years, 4 months
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Re: Fatherhood [Re: HunabKu]
#697718 - 06/24/02 06:45 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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my boy just turned 3 years old, and is moving into a stage i can only call "realisation". he now realises that he's an individual and is testing his boundaries therein. i can see him asking himself questions (maybe on a subconscious level) like, "why should i do what you say?". of course this is where you have to lay it down to them so that they don't turn out like those little fucks on Jerry springer in the teen years, but i've always held to the concept of not denying any belief he has. i've never told him he can't fly, for example. i believe that by limiting his thinking in that way, i'm just preventing him from having an open mind later in life. if he thinks he can fly off the couch and falls down instead, i just explain that flying is not something that's normal for humans to do (without the right tools). anyway, this is starting to sound ramble-ish, but i hope somebody understands what i mean
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-akyouser.oner
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