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 _JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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 *bah* Help please! 
#673700 - 06/11/02 05:58 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I had a nasty trip. I'm still feeling really anxious.. I found this in the Mushroom FAQ:
Surgeon General's Warning: One of the aftereffects of psilocybin (and most all psychedelics for that matter) is "emotional fluctuation", i.e. things that would make you a bit happy cause euphoria and conversely things you don't like cause depression. At its worst this is a real manic-depressive rollercoaster, but usually the fluctuations are more positive than negative ("It's Monday morning and I feel GRRRRRRREAT!"). At any rate, this rarely lasts longer than a day or two, so don't worry about it.
Does anyone know how much longer I'll have to put up with these fluctuating emotions? I feel happy and great for half an hour then I return to anxious, sickly feelings. It sucks.. help anyone? 
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TeKHeAD009
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#673716 - 06/11/02 06:05 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I donno, could last weeks, months... I've heard of it never going away.
Heres a hing though
"At any rate, this rarely lasts longer than a day or two, so don't worry about it."
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TeKHeAD009
Stranger
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: TeKHeAD009]
#673718 - 06/11/02 06:06 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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*hint
Thats what I get for being a smartass I guess... 
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kykeon
Dead wishes
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#673856 - 06/11/02 07:28 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Come on...
Just remember that EVERYTHING is inside our heads. Even the trips
are created by ourselves, without knowing it.
So, dont stick on words you see written - its not the Bible [ you shouldnt
stick to it also, my opinion  ]
Cool down, start thinking something else and find something to do this week
which has nothing to do with shrooms. Forget this forum for a week if needed.
Everything will be allright!
Kykeon
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The living ghost of Kykeon
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Barbi
Plastic Person
Registered: 04/22/02
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#674082 - 06/12/02 12:42 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Edited by mndfreeze
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Barbi]
#674087 - 06/12/02 12:52 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks guys.. any idea how much longer I'll have to endure this? It's really getting me down.. I try to fight it but the feelings keep returning.. 
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Barbi
Plastic Person
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#674091 - 06/12/02 12:56 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Edited by mndfreeze
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 Asante
- new man -
 
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#674110 - 06/12/02 01:44 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's some unpleasant shit, JJ!
Oscillating between the Good & the Bad after tripping usually means an inner conflict is activated. Usually it subsides by itself within one to two weeks & quite spontaniously too. It tends to get a positive resolution & generally you won't be stuck with the intensity of unpleasantness you're facing now.
My advice: Meditate passively. Lie in your bed in darkness, eyes closed and be willing to face whatever surfaces. Breathing intensely and quickly (Holotropic Breathwork technique) may intensify & resolve the problem involved. Usually if you KNOW what's bugging you you can work with it, or it resolves by itself without you having a clue WTF went down.
Smoking pot may also trigger this upsurge, so no casual potsmoking the coming days, OK. Just smoke it (if you like the stuff) & retreat to bedsetting.
Since you dislike facing it i'd advise against major psychoactives for at least a week after the badness has worn of. Yeah: easy recommending!
I wish you strenght for the coming days.
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higher knowledge starts here
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Sheepish
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#674122 - 06/12/02 02:21 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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You'll be fine. Every now and then drugs give you a low, but pretty much most of the time it only lasts less than a week. Just keep your head up and keep listening to positive music. Try keep yourself busy and the time will fly and you'll be fine before you know it.
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Swami
Eggshell Walker
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#674142 - 06/12/02 02:48 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Oscillating between the Good & the Bad after tripping usually means an inner conflict is activated.
Like he needs more nonsense. It means that the brains' delicate balance has been upset and will take some time to restabilize. It is not, as kykeon states: "All in your head" as some psychological response to the trip, but is in fact, bio-chemical.
You might try some nootropics (do a search) to help boost serotonin levels which sound like they have been lowered dramatically. You will recover in a few days. Stay off of all drugs for a while.
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The proof is in the pudding.
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Swami]
#674156 - 06/12/02 03:01 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hey, Swami: to each his own!
I firmly believe in Stanislav Grof's Holotropic theories, but I know Biology must be involved too. Perhaps the truth lies in the middle somewhere.
My major ref is S.Grof's "LSD Psychotherapy". Got any refs on the Bioside of the story? P.E.A.C.E !!!
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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baraka
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#674408 - 06/12/02 06:50 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Whats making you anxious? Is it somthing irrational? Somthing that happened in the past?
Some times i get into extremly paranoid from thinking about death. Stupid crap i did in the past and somtimes completely irrational stuff.
Best thing for me is to be like "ok dude whats bothering you". I write it down on a piece of paper. THen i start to think about why its bothering me. I write that down too. Then i try to come up to a solution this way.
Im kinda wierd but that helps me. Usually i get these feelings week or so after i trip and is usually triggered by Marijuana for me atleast.
These kinds of things is why im not going to trip often at all anymore.
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This is the only time I really feel alive.
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baraka
Registered: 07/15/00
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: baraka]
#674412 - 06/12/02 06:53 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Also, try talking about it with a close friend, your mom, sister, or whoever you feel confortable with. You'll pull thru it dude. Dont worry bout it.
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This is the only time I really feel alive.
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Gmiadlicher
Stranger
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#674422 - 06/12/02 06:57 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Ithink it was 2 or 3 years ago...
I hab a very bad and long lastin backflash from all the shrooms and things,...
anyway
Everything stratet to move and look strange you know and there where things goin on in my head good and bad but more bad! At this time i couldnt go with it or control it couse it was new and ive been younger ,...
So i didnt know how to change it by think about it but then i did the thing that changed it rapidly : SPORTS! In my case body building! I was realy pressed down and so, and when i startet to train it was very strange i could do much more continous of every different excercises and i pushed my self MORE and MORE it was crazy!
When i finished training i felt like reborn! It shure still was there but it had changed! the moving the straining and movin of my body felt so good that my brain felt better to!
I still do body building (Im not a juicer FUCK steroids!) and do good working and lots of smoking (i dont smoke cigarrets ) and a good amount of shroomin!
Without SPorts it would SUCK! But with the Sports and d good positive mind
Live is.....Great
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Respect, consider and take every form of Life seriously... especially Plants and Trees
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Gmiadlicher]
#674562 - 06/12/02 08:37 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks again for all the advice guys.. it helps a lot. Reassures me I keep having small flashbacks.. I'm starting to cope with em tho. I was reading up on PTSD and it seems I have a couple of the symptoms listed.. I went into a dissasociative state last night for about a minute.. it scared the hell outta me. Every now and then I'll get a moment of sudden fear and then it will subside. I have a racing hearbeat a lot of the time.
I was woken up just then in a sleep paralysis state and it felt like I was having the scariest panic attack of my life. My brain felt like it was jammed and my heart rate felt extremely high.. this was probably just an illusion as I was still dreaming. Really scary though.
Whats making you anxious? Is it somthing irrational? Somthing that happened in the past?
Ahh.. it's not just one thing. It's like many things make me anxious.. I'll be good for a while and then I'll feel somewhat strange in my stomach.. then I start thinking bad thoughts and the anxiety returns. Bad thoughts like.. how much longer will my parents live? what's the point in life? how did i find joy in all the things i used to love? will these feelings ever go away? did i fuck my brain up permanently? Usually once I convince myself that these are stupid thoughts they'll go away and I'll feel good again.. but then they slowly creep back. Also when I have my eyes closed I sometimes have these strange moments where it feels like my brain is zapping itself.. like your vision fills white white for a split second and then releases.. like a brain reboot or somethin lol.
Do you think 5-htp would help? I've got melatonin too.. I've tried thinking about what I fear and, under the advice form some PTSD sites, mentally reliving what I had experienced during the trip in order to work out my problems. I feel like this has helped a bit. I'm going to try and sleep a bit more.. night!
Edited by _JJ_ (06/12/02 08:42 AM)
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Gmiadlicher
Stranger
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#674693 - 06/12/02 10:15 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Do you think its good when a thing has made you sick in your brain and you fight it with an other fuckin thing?
You bust beat the fuck in your head with your head not with any other substance!
Ok imean thats what i think
peace
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Respect, consider and take every form of Life seriously... especially Plants and Trees
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HB
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Gmiadlicher]
#674867 - 06/12/02 12:13 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am not going to give you utter reassurance because I don't have the necessary facts to reassure you, but I'll go from my own experience ...
90% of the many trips I've taken have been bad or life-changing experiences. I continue to trip for many reasons, but I won't go into that now because it isn't necessary.
After this one trip I took on a 1/4 in december, I "learned" things which have not left me at all. I was shattered mentally and had many panic attacks and hallucinations (while sober) because of the trip. Essentially, the trip made me believe my entire life was a lie, and that life itself is completely fake: all the people are actors, all the environments are just stages, and everything is just scripted. Nothing can make you happy, etc. So in sober life I am convinced anything can happen, and I sometimes start getting into weird thought patterns which I could call "flashbacks" for lack of a better word. Emotionally, I have been finding things I enjoy to be heavenly and things I don't to be spikes in my back. Everything is to one extreme or the other now.
Because of the intensity of the experience I had, I don't think I will ever truly forget it. Life has become better now in general (great, actually) and I don't think about that trip as much anymore. Though I'm scarred, it isn't too deep anymore. Tripping more won't necessarily worsen the situation but it could, so I'd stay away from that for a little while.
Just get your life back on track before you start exploring your mind again.
As to the comment about it all being in your head, not only is the trip in your head but reality is, too. All reality is is your PERCEPTION of what's there. Kind of like, the glass is half empty/the glass is half full. Everybody sees things differently, so seeing things differently isn't bad at all, it's just different. It can be disorienting after a bad trip to see the world in such a different fashion, but either it will go away or not be as severe eventually.
Best of luck.
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#675830 - 06/12/02 10:02 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hang inthere, JJ: it may not take very long before it will subside.
Tripping can be quite a shock mentally and, as Swami pointed out, biochemically too. The major thing now is to trust yourself & the shroom as much as you can. Well over 99% of setbacks are temporary and real "brain damage" is virtually impossible, except for maybe HPPD, so I've read almost anywhere.
Those closed-eye white flashes... A month or so I wrote a thread called "0.1sec of EVERYTHING, had that too?" well: it happens to people, so it's likely not something to worry about.
Try not to worry. I know that's easier said than done, but saying to yourself "Things 'll work out for the best: I'll be fine in some time" is one of the best things to do. Try not to fight it, as fighting your Demon tends to instill more fears & anxieties in you than accepting you'll be in limbo fore some time. Fighting frantically makes Bad Trips & frustrated people happen in alot of cases.
5-HTP & Melatonin? I'd like to disrecommend those now, since they're serotonin-based Psychotropics. I can recommend strong vits & mins and especially Niacinamide (a "no-flush" vitamin B3; Note AMIDE, not Nicotinic ACID; dosage like 100mg per 40kg/100lbs bodyweight twice daily) and Tryptophan. Tryp may be hard to get in a pure form in the US, but (warm) milk & Turkeymeat are rich in it to the point of elevating your Serotonin the Natural way. But 5-HTP may be too strong for you right now.
I wish you the Best, JJ, & don't give up Hope!
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#675857 - 06/12/02 10:45 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks for the help everyone.. gives me hope I went to the doc today.. he took an ECG and called up his friend in Emergency. He said it's normal except my pulse is high. Also, his friend said they see these symptoms all the time and that shrooms can act as an anti-chlorigenic or something and can leave a raised heartbeat for a week or so so he gave me a thing called BetaBloc to use till Monday. He also took a blood and urine sample. I feel a bit better after taking it.. more in control of my mind and my emotions though there is still that feeling of anxiety in my stomach that comes and goes.. but it's more managable.
I'm going to go see the doc tomorrow and on Monday.. hopefully all is good with the tests and I'll be sweet. Wish me luck
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#675866 - 06/12/02 11:09 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Great you're feeling better, JJ!
B?tablockers like Propranolol & Pindolol can indeed calm you down greatly. Be careful not to stand up to quickly. You may get "orthostatic hypotension", a sudden fall in bloodpressure when standing up, especially with THC or on a hot day that can leave you lightheaded, with a throbbing headache or even a fainitng spell. Heavy stuff, B?tablockers.
Shrooms Anticholinergic?! ("Belladonna/Atropine-like") Sorry, never read that nowhere, but I do know stresses & anxieties may pump up heartbeat and bloodpressure just like Anticholinergics.
Take them vits & mins anyhoo, JJ! Hope you're well soon & your tests work out just fine.
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#675904 - 06/13/02 01:38 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks Wiccan..
I'm on a low dose of Metroponol (forget exactly).. he told me to halve it if it made me feel a bit dizzy when I stood up. It didn't but I think I'm gonna halve the dose anyway to be on the safe side Hopefully I'll have a good sleep and it'll all be over tomorrow..
Shrooms aren't anticholinergic? hmm.. I'll talk to him tomorrow.. Might have to have a session or two with the psychiatrist or something heh. I'm still fighting on.. I got a bit panicky after I wrote that last message but I managed to overcome it again.
Needless to say.. I'm never using *any* psychotropic drugs again.
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growin
addict
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#675918 - 06/13/02 02:10 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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when i took lsd 4 the 1st time it was a super week trip, didnt feel it even.
3 days later i went to see 'american psycho' with my dad and i n the parking lot i cought myself thinking 'what if i'll kill him now...'.
i love my dad very much and my relationsheep with him is great, i just got realy in the movie. i didnt link my emotional status to the lsd i took 3 days ago, since i already forgot i took it.
i was in a extreem mood, and i didnt know how to cope and what to cope with, so i put my walkman on and went to the park , there i ran and screamed and danced, after letting all those emotions out i sat down and rationlaized thinking what could make me feel like this, and then i rememberd the trip i took 3 days ealier.
afterthat i knew the reason im thinking in that way and just playied with it.
just telling my story - maybe you can learn from it somhow.
a growin original
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#676374 - 06/13/02 09:10 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hi JJ!
The doc might be confused with Amanita Muscaria (fly agaric) which IS anticholinergic. In fact in old literature I've seen it's active Muscimol discribed as "Pilzatropin"; "Mushroom Atropine" and I know it to be an Anticholinergic compound.
JJ: it must be quite a shocker for you... I had a 24hr. prolonged reaction once, real scary too. It slowly built up to a climax of severe dyscomfort & dysphoria, fears & dispair racing trough my mind accompanied by the wildest thoughts... Suddenly my body started tingling intensely. I got this WEIRD feeling in my head: like I had been tensing up my brain like a muscle the whole day long & suddenly it relaxed. I felt a decompression inside and the negativity I had felt growing throughout the day suddenly turned into... peaceful normalcy.
There I sat, on the toilet in the middle of an insomniac's night, bewildered what had happened. Having read alot of Grof I decided some kind of resolution had been achieved. From strong bad-triplike effects to normalcy in under 10 seconds! I felt like I had passed some kind of test, had worked through something important & went to sleep.
Biology, Psychology or both: I can relate to the feelings you must be having. Things like: "Now you REALLY DID IT, WS! You've managed to shatter your brain & you'll never recover!" went trough my brain as probably in yours. But I didn't read anything in your postings that suggested it might be permanent. Have faith. Try to hang on some more, although I know it's scary terrain you're in. Don't curse yourself or the mushroom, or God, or whatever & play for time. Reread the Psychedelic FAQ: it might prove to be reassuring. To me it seems highly likely you're just in an "emotional rollercoaster" sick of it, yes, but in my view the ride is about to end. Maybe it'll end like mine: that it'll get worse before it gets better.
Have faith in your sanity!
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#676967 - 06/13/02 03:24 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think I've figured out what *was* affecting me.. when you're under the influence of shrooms your brain control can go out the window. You can't suppress thoughts and have to let them flow. I think I forgot (temporarily) how to suppress thoughts and so bad introspective thoughts had free rein over my mind. I'm going to go and see the psychiatrist for some extra advice just to make sure.. but I believe that's what it was.. you need to rein in fleeting thoughts and maintain a hold on your mind. I have experienced something similar before, though not as bad as this, after having a panic attack on marijuana.
Anyway.. so ends my drug expedition
Fun while it lasted and I've learnt much. Now to take what I've learnt and go out and live my life! Good luck to you all!
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#677761 - 06/14/02 05:51 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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JJ:
Personally I believe thoughts should be as free as the air we breathe & that one should strive to not supress them.
But I'm not you. To each his own; It's your brain, your Life.
It's good you got someting positive out of all this. It's certainly true for most that whilst under Psilocybin (self)control is lessened.
I chose for this but I perfectly understand it might not be your choice.
Too bad your days on High are over.
Take your Insights, Hopes & Ideas & make your Life more beautiful than you imagined could be possible.
P.E.A.C.E !!!
--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#679345 - 06/14/02 07:27 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Wiccan.. I know what you're saying.. but then please tell me how do I control bad thoughts? Thoughts which scare me and make me fear for my mental health? I believe my experience has given me (hopefully temporary) anxiety disorder. I have it under control mostly but I still have 1 or 2 bad experiences each day.. any ideas?
Maybe something to do with meditation could help?
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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 Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#679419 - 06/14/02 08:54 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hi JJ!
Anxiety disorder... Hm, may be too soon to say that. Aftereffects of especially difficult sessions are more common than alot of shroom-enthousiast like to admit.
You see alot of it here on the Shroomery.
Remember that aftereffects may leave you at any given time, Swami sez it's all Biology, but I think there's a psychological factor involved also.
How should you control your thoughts? I can't say, really: dunno what you're dealing with. I myself believe in letting thoughts flow as they come, and had many a disturbing thought: Ultraviolent fantasies (even involving loved ones), sexually, er.. disturbing fantasies of a masturbatory nature, the Ultimate Violence, suicide & in bouts of strong depression I've been known to pray the Comet down on us, so to speak. Now alot of people claim they don't have "strange/disturbing thoughts". They're lying, not to you but to themselves.
Truth is a brainfunction we can bend at will. If we believe it ain't true it isn't, ei?
There's always the countercurrent. People have "personality-alien" thoughts from time to time to balance their mind out. Oh we like to think black or white, but in the end the sum of things is we're all gray. Countercurrent thoughts can really send people on guilttrips. "I'm a MONSTER for thinking this!!!" "God will send me to Hell for having these thoughts!!!" This isn't necessary.
Over 20% of new mothers have strong recurring urges to strangle/mutilate their babies. It makes the postnatal stress quite more severe to them.
But it's natural, perfectly natural to have personality-alien thoughts. They serve only to keep us sane.
You might be young, say 12-25 or otherwise in the midst of upheavel in your life causing a flood of negative thoughts to surge upwards. It might also be you're obsessed with being mr. Perfect (no offence intended!) and simply can't tolerate being imperfect like all of us.
Vividly fantasizing about spilling blood by the gallon or what-have-you-not does NOT make you a killer.
The mind works symbolically & such is the content of your thoughts, just like dreaming, really. They try to tell you something, usually less extreme & archetypal than the scene depicted. Thoughts of suicide might indicate there's a dissatisfaction in life, which may be your Chemteacher or office Boss. The thought of applying a blunt hacksaw to your mother's neck & slowly saw her head off might indicate that there's interpersonal issues & stresses to be delt with, maybe to move out, even, but it's never that your brain tells you it's time to go to the toolshed. Your girl may argue or threaten to leave you & you get an H-bomb blast inside. There's no telling WHAT might be going on in your head.
If you think your thoughts aren't too taboo, how about dumping them off right here at the Shroomery? Some time ago I started an explicit & taboo thread on the topic of LOTR demihumans getting it off together & me getting off on that, just to see if the Shroomery's "Free" reputation isn't hogwash.
It wasn't.
I got some caustix & flames flew all over the place, but over half was either neutral or positive, trying to offer advice & generally helping.
I didn't have to change my username: there was NO real harassment afterwards, no hate-PM's, nothing. It was difficult to deal with some of the negativity but it proved to be a very positive experience.
And there's always PM's!
Meditation? Lie down in your bed in darkness, eyes closed & let uncensored thoughts flow. Do a bare minimum of active thinking & let go if you get stuck on what you might think is trivia. 1/2 hour a day should be great & it is quite relaxing too! Hope to have helped!
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#680788 - 06/15/02 04:43 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks again Wiccan.. well it's kinda like this.. I've got exams coming up (yea I know it was stupid to dose at this time) but I'm finding it hard to concentrate. My brain will run off and start thinking about other things.. occasionally I'll get panicky feelings and thoughts which make me scared.. such as will this ever go away? Am I going insane? Am I going to die? Why did I risk my mental health? I try to suppress them but these just seems to make them worse..
I'm making progress insofar as that now instead of suppressing the thoughts I let my mind flow and conciously analyse the thoughts.. like I guess your mind it supposed to work. I think I also have a viral infection which isn't making things any easier as it gives me stomach discomfort and sometimes a feeling at the back of my throat which I believe I subconciously (or something) associate with bad tripping effects and hence gives me anxiety. I start thinking about how I might lose to will to keep fighting on and the virus might kill me or something.. it's all really defeatist and stupid but sometimes I just can't shake the thoughts...
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Anonymous
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#680923 - 06/15/02 05:55 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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JJ
I think these people are being too nice to you, JJ.
I think you need to stop being a pussy looking for attention and stop blaming all your shit on the trip.
That or strap a mattress to your back and start hookin your ass on a street corner cause it's all down hill from here for you buddy.
Leaf
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Anonymous
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: HB]
#680931 - 06/15/02 06:00 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Heavenlyblue
>"90% of the many trips I've taken have been bad or life-changing experiences. I continue to trip for many reasons, but I won't go into that now because it isn't necessary."<
No, no. I insist. Let's go into it. 90% of your trips have been "bad or life-changing experiences"? WTF? If the stuff doesn't agree with you, stop doing it. You're in control of your future.
Leaf
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#681165 - 06/15/02 11:12 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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D.O.N.T P.A.N.I.C !!!
You're very probably not going insane & going to die by the Shroom... Nope: don't think so. In my view, partially based on S.Grof's masterpiece "LSD Psychotherapy" repressing stuff only tends to make it worse. I don't wanna get all tough like Leafblowerz here, but there's a Dutch proverb that says:
"Wie zijn billen brandt moet op de blaren zitten."
Or, in English: "He who burns his butt has to sit on the blisters." No offence please, but your timing (exams) was very bad & the FAQ and tons of other infos state clearly you have to prepare before & have spare time afterwards to deal with a possible aftermath.
But: you're in shit now, so that's all redundant. Why you took the risk is something between you & your conscience. I can only repeat:
"Very likely these nasties WILL GO AWAY."
It's also likely it won't take more than a few weeks. It's very shitty to be in this place you're in & it's bad for the outcome of your exams, but you gotta take charge of your life & have faith in yourself. The viral infection may be just that, or it may be a psychosomatic response. Personally I think something big has come up, something you're discontent with & have to resolve. I think "shaking thoughts" is a wrong strategy if it's Big things you're facing. BTW, Important: Is there ANYTHING you're experiencing that even REMOTELY seems familiar to sensations you had in your life before imbiding? Think hard about this one.
It's like shoveling snow: if you push & push it away from you not making seperate mounds you'll find yourseld facing a heap that'll take all your strenght to move... Or maybe it won't bulge at all. I think it's best to have faith and wait for the thaw to set in: wait for it to reach it's end.
Something that may ease stuff out: 200mg of NiacinAMIDE (Vitamin B3) twice daily will make it easier to cope with the stresses. Do not opt for Niacin/Nicotinic Acid: it'll work to but also provides a bodyrush most find unpleasant.
Do stuff you like & try to face what's popping in your head when it appears, trying to not repress any thought. If you get a bizarre urge that isn't harmful to yourself or others (including animals etc.) DO IT: it may provide insight.
If it's at all possible postpone the exams until you're in the clear again. A simple exam might decide your career-future & should be taken dead serious.
Claim you're ill: in a way you are at the time. I don't wanna critisize you, but I think you probably handled the trip a bit poorly: not really listening to yourself & not following the "Golden thread" that leads you through the Experience. Or perhaps you mentally fled for a particular, crucial sensation. But then again: it may easily be Biological in nature, although I doubt that.
According to Grof: The more pressing the Psychedelic-related problem, the quicker it usually resolves & symptoms are a part of you HEALING yourself, not of the particular affliction. Hang inthere!
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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ruskifile
droog
Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 258
Loc: nowhere
Last seen: 16 years, 14 days
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#681211 - 06/16/02 12:33 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Oh wow I'm really sorry to hear that, JJ ......my commiserations.....
Can I suggest if you want to try meditation, look up Raja yoga meditation, which means the royal path, ie to become a king or master of our emotions/selves etc. This meditation also is a great help to boost self-esteem and and prevent negative thinking in any circumstances
I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do mate
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(zhukov in a previous life....)
2SER FM underground radio
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_JJ_
PsychedelicRevolutionary
Registered: 06/12/01
Posts: 369
Loc: NSW, Australia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: Asante]
#684671 - 06/17/02 05:58 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks yet again Wiccan.. you've been extremely helpful I think I have figured it out.. my weird thoughts were a product of an over-active mind following that trip. Yesterday, when I actually sat down and concentrated on studying the feelings left me. I think that by letting my thoughts run rampant I brought on a very introverted introspective thought path that took me through loops and insane states. I was always concerned with (during this period, not before this heh) how I felt, what I thought, how I thought rather than with other people and my responsibilities. For future reference, the best way to deal with such an episode of anxiety is to keep yourself occupied, not only physically but mentally. That way your mind is too busy with the tasks at hand to run off into crazy nonsensical thoughts about your own wellbeing. I think also, not having had this viral infection would've helped as I mistook an upset stomach as impending anxiety.
Thanks ruskifile
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Asante
- new man -
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,380
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Re: *bah* Help please! [Re: _JJ_]
#687114 - 06/18/02 09:32 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Good for You, JJ!
Glad your ordeal seems over! I know what it is to be in a state of Hell & wish tons more people on the Shroomery tried to lend people a hand when they need it!
Great you figured it out!
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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here
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