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 FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
 
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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 FRequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 2 
#672482 - 06/11/02 12:12 AM (22 years, 4 months ago) |
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Or would it be the final page........a little undecided here.....aiming for an amalgamation between Hunte thompson, carlos casteneda and Don Juan, and Don Quixote and Poncho........
Phffffffftttttttt.........the engine began to sputter. It was at this point that I looked at the fuel gauge and saw that the needle was in the red zone. An all pervasive sense of doom enveloped me like a straightjacket(don't ask). Pedro, for his part, looked like the proverbial cat that had eaten the canary but the realization that we were in all likelyhood about to die had at least wiped that depraved grin from his fat face. It was abundantly clear that he had neglected to refuel the plane."We DO have enough fuel to make it to the landing strip, don't we?" Said more in desperation than with any expectations of a positive affirmation. At this point Pedro took his hands off the wheel and clasped them together looking even more skyward than we already were. "Pater noster.....qui es en Caelis............" Which I remembered from my days as an altar boy were the first two lines of that weary old hymn "the Our Father" in Latin.
This was NOT the vote of confidence I was hoping to hear. Pedro was apparently throwing in the towel and facing his/our iminent demise with passive aquiescence. I had been watching his stubby hands working the controls for a while and figured I had gained enough knowledge that I could PROBABLY(operative word here as you shall soon see) fly the plane myself. So I climbed over the front seat and grabbed the wheel in an efffort to straighten out the plane's trajectory which had taken a STEEP downturn in the absence of anyone to guide it.
Now, I've always been a rational man. And at this point I did what any sane person would have done. I took a very sharp left turn and reached across Pedro's stout body and pushed open the door and gave him a good shove. "AAAEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....." was the last sound I ever heard from him. I had calculated that with his blubbery butt no longer wasting precious benzene that I just MIGHT have enough fuel with which to manouvre. Having absolutely no idea where the landing strip was I decided to lower the plane, shut off the engine and glide, hopefully buffering my decent by landing on the tree tops.
And that was the last thing I remember. The next concious recollection of anything was when I awoke to some strange kind of chanting noises in a tent with what looked to be witch doctor walking in circles around me and sprinkling some kind of dust over me. Well it certainly beat being cooked in a pot for the tribe's next meal anyway, the way I saw things. I faded in and out of conciousness for the next several hours apparently sustaining some kind of head injury upon contact with the trees. Everytime I awoke there seemed to be even more natives in the tent looking at me with a sense of wonder. When I was well enough to walk around the head of the tribe and an inner circle of trusted allies took me to a cave and pointed towards an heiroglyphic type drawing that looked a lot like ME. It was at this point that I understood why they had been looking at me with such a sense of awe. It seems that they thought I was their promised messiah..........finally arriving from the sky as had been promised.
Now THIS was just too grand an opportunity to pass up and rest assured I milked it dry. Or tried to anyway. I periodically turned on the shortwave radio the natives had brought back with me from the bush in the hope of catching the sports scores and soon realized that the search party that had been sent out when our plane failed to arrive were getting perilously close to my new found paradise.They had found several of my empty beer cans scattered throught the foliage and knew that I must be in the area.Actually warm beer was the worst indignity I suffered while in my new jungle habitat. In fact I had one of the tribal elders burned at the stake for failure to provide ice but that's a story in and of itself. That was merely one example of my abusing my new found powers and far from the most decadent I can assure you, but I digress........
I didn't know at this point if my unwanted rescuers were concerned for my well being or if they just wanted to arrest me for Pedro's death. Of course in the event that this WAS the case I would do the honourable thing and deny it to the teeth. In a sense it didn't matter either way as their iminant arrival would totally destroy whatever sense of trust I had developed with my hosts.
There was still time for one final tribal ritual, the drinking of the sacred ayahuasca beverage. I have provided a snapshot of myself indulging in this holy event in the "Pictures" section of these webpages*. As you will see I enjoyed these somewhat primitive sacred rituals immensely and was dreading the hour when the natives found out that I wasn't really who they thought I was..........or WAS I??? After being treated like a Deity for a few days I had comfortably settled into the role. In fact, it was difficult to remember a time in my life when i WASN'T looked up to as if I were the sun itself. I have always had delusions of megalomaniacal grandeur and this sceniero only reinforced my already egocentric view of the universe in a manner which I was reluctant to give up.....
* This is true, thre really is a appic of me indulging in the pix section
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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 Re: FRequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 2 [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#718613 - 07/02/02 06:05 PM (22 years, 3 months ago) |
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I wanna keep these 2 together.....like a pair of old socks 
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide
Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac
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 Re: FRequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 2 [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#721304 - 07/03/02 08:07 PM (22 years, 3 months ago) |
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Old smelly socks?
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-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.
 
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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 Re: FRequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 2 [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
#721854 - 07/04/02 03:58 AM (22 years, 3 months ago) |
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All I wanted was some articulate literary criticism here......I should have KNOWN all I would get from YOU would be derisive sarcasm and ridicule.......like any GR8 unrecognized artist/writer I think I'll go and kill myself........THEN maybe I'll be noticed 
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
Edited by FreakQlibrium (07/06/02 04:48 AM)
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