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 FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
 
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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 Frequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 1 
#672481 - 06/11/02 12:08 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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my first attempt at pasting here, bear with me(just a piece of drivel i was writing at my webpage)
Well I'm finally back from my sojourn, and what a trip it was. I headed off to the airport well bolstered by a hand full of #10 valiums, # 3 tylenols and a 26er of a liqueur called AGWA....an admixture of alcohol and a stimulant known as guarana.I should have known that with all thlose possible combinations of the number 13, that nothing good could have come from it. I had hoped to maintain a semblence of concious existence on the plane to Miami in case of a terrorist attack that I could single handedly subdue thereby earning a nice fat juicy endorsement deal from Nike or Fruit of the loom. Alas, it t'was not to be. I remember waking up to the sensation of what felt to be a cattle prod in my ribcage and a voice saying "are you alive, or are you dead?". I feigned unconciousness a little longer whilst I tried to come up with a measured response to that question but the truth was at that point I didn't really know the answer.
I finally stumbled off the plane(ably assisted by airline security) armed with the painful knowledge that due to blacking out sometime before takeoff, I had missd the chance to guzzle down gallons of free airline booze. I found solace with some new friends in the Miami airport lavatory where I passed the time till my single engined plane was due to arrive at an ajoining strip of dirt by smoking fist fulls of crack.
Things were going pretty much the way they usually do with me. My cab ride to the landing stip was uneventful or at least if there were ny events I refuse to remember. All I know is that when I got out to meet my plane I was still wearing my own clothes which hadn't always been the case in the past. The plane warbled out of the sky doing a pretty fair imitation of a kangaroo while trying to land. "BOOM-chukka -chukka BOOM-chukka-chukka" Till it finally ground to a halt just inches from where I was attempting to urinate. Nothing like the sound and feel of an impending collision with a plane to make your bladder freeze.
The pilot, a short portly man who's breath wrieked of cheap tequila extended a stubby appendage that only vguely resembled a human hand in my direction in some sort of twisted overture of friendship. He pulled out a fattie which we smoked while waiting for the plane to refuel. We were soon up and away and so far above the clouds that they looked like rabbits only without the pink eyes. In fact, we were TOO far off the ground by my own estimation. "Aren't we a little high up Pedro?" At which point Pedro turned and flashed this fiendish grin that made me hope in the depths of my soul that he never found anything, either in this life or some other, even vaguely amusing.....ever again. I quickly came to the realization, much in the same way a jack rabbit always waits until the car headlights are inches from his face before jumping, that there were no parachutes on board.... Holy FUCK!!! If I'd have known that I would have smuggled one off the plane back at he airport......."Are you SURE you don't have a washroom on this plane?" I said while trying to maintain an outward display of composure while my bladder felt like it was being pounded like mad waves against a battered sand bag. Pedro continued to grin as he stared off into the distance towards a reality that only he could possibly see, his eyes spinning spastic centrifugal cartwheels in their sockets when...........To be continued !
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide
Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac
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 Re: Frequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 1 [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#705654 - 06/27/02 01:00 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have more posts than you. 
<<< Is a post whore.
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-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.
 
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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 Re: Frequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 1 [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
#718610 - 07/02/02 06:03 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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So you Do...........BITCH  but then again you have more posts than a LOTTA people 
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide
Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac
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Re: Frequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 1 [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#721303 - 07/03/02 08:06 PM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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Shut up.
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-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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Re: Frequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 1 [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
#721852 - 07/04/02 03:56 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide
Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac
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Re: Frequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 1 [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#721962 - 07/04/02 05:42 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I love you!
--------------------
-- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong
Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD"
--
JaP: What would this place be without random sluts?
JaP: Nothing, I tell you.
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
|
Re: Frequillibrium:Tales from the Amazon Part 1 [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
#721969 - 07/04/02 05:50 AM (21 years, 5 months ago) |
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I must warn you though......I'm not even nearly that obedient/agreeable in person
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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