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Anxiety attack after consuming a quarter, bad trip!
    #6661222 - 03/12/07 02:32 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

A few weeks ago I ingested 7G of dry, fresh (harvested/dried a week prior, stored in jars) mushies that originated from my cultivation hobby. Up to this point I had only ingested an eighth at a time, so really the only "point" to this exercise was to break into the higher-effects echelon... or to squeegee my third eye harder than it has ever been squeegeed before... if you will! I have read that 5G is the tipping point, so I figured I'd just wrap it up with a quarter.

To preface these activities I have been cleaning house and drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana, so I am fairly intoxicated as it is. I have had six alcoholic beverages at this point, so I suppose that helped persuade me this would be a great idea!

I was by myself and was not too concerned with this fact as I have ingested this substance around twenty times in my life up to this point, but never by myself. I was awash with euphoria within 10 minutes of ingestion, and I would compare the feeling at that point to the feeling I have 30 minutes after eating an eighth... everything was scaled up to a ridiculous degree. As expected, as hoped... all was going as planned.

I finished some chores while the visuals were setting in (nothing makes doing the dishes go by faster :smile:) and hopped in the shower as it was the next step in my nightly regiment and I find it a pleasing activity when coming up on the peak.

I make a couple calls to my wife who works in a retail environment and things were going fine with her, in fact she says she wants to play an online game to kill some time and communicates that she will be contacting me after a current customer vacates the premises. I start playing a little video games and a half hour goes by... the trip is so intense at this point I feel better than I ever have in my life... my entire cranium feels abuzz with positive vibrations!

Soon I realize a half hour has passed between my last conversation with my wife, so I ring her up. She doesn't answer the phone... so I call her again. I wait 5 minutes and repeat this process and she still doesn't answer. At this point a horrible switch is thrown in my head and all of the negative concepts I have digested throughout the day are being applied wholesale to my wifes work environment. That is to say, I believe she could be a victim of an assault at her store and I should go check on her and make sure everything is OK. The reason this theme was so prominent in my mind was because we had been discussing her feelings of insecurity during the temporary lull in construction at her new workplace. They had not yet installed the security cameras and a "distress signal" under the counter for the employees to discreetly contact the authorities.

Nonetheless, I have no logical reason to believe anything is wrong with her or that she should be in duress. In fact, this happens very frequently when she is working late and we try to get together on a game or talk through online messenging services.

But in my mind, she is in trouble and I can't help her! I realize I am in no state to drive and frankly in no state to help anyone, and then I get the most negative feeling in my stomach as if I have been on the receiving end of a roundhouse kick! I see myself as a fool, a charlatan who has put his mental faculties aside in the pursuit of pure pleasure and who is now in a state of relative incapacitation when a member of his family could be in need!

So at this point I begin to try and calm myself down, telling myself that this is simply a negative train of thought that has no bearing on reality and is putting me in a bad place mentally. I'm having trouble calming myself down when all of the sudden I get an intense pain behind my left knee that brings me to the floor! It felt as if an artery had exploded in my fucking leg it was so painful, I immediately sat down and began massaging the area.

As I rubbed the area I realized I was losing feeling in my foot, then I began to feel my leg go numb and I started hyperventillating. Bad. I thought I was going to pass out and kick the bucket for sure, so I went and stashed every bit of illegal contraband throughout my household so when the EMT's come they can just zip me up in a body bag and not see any suspicious activity in the direct vicinity of my corpse...

My mouth is so dry at this point I start slamming water in front of the bathroom sink, on my knees... I can see in the mirror I am pale as a ghost and sweating profusely yet I am shivering with cold... I lay down on the floor in the hallway outside my bathroom and I try to calm my breathing down but I am having a hard time keeping it under control as the pain my leg has not lessened in the last few minutes. Color has seemingly drained out of my vision for the most part and everything looks grey, as if I am in an ethereal plain of existence.

During this time I was peaking at my traditional moment (an hour after ingestion) so things were very difficult to rationalize in my mind, especially considering the amount I had consumed. I kept telling myself there is no way I should technically die from consuming this substance, but the pain in my leg was so intense there was no way it was simply "in my mind" at that point.

I felt very much like Roy Batty in the end of Blade Runner, constantly grasping his hand/forearm as the programmed senescence of his model number begins to shut down his cellular functions. All I could think was "No, no, no not yet not fucking yet not like this" as I hyperventillated on the floor in between bouts of slamming water and rubbing behind my knee when I could peel myself off the ground...

After this experience I did some searching on here for heart issues and blood pressure when tripping and discovered shrooms can have a pronounced effect on this pressure. I have basically determined that I experienced an irrational anxiety attack that lowered my blood pressure due to a vasovagular syncope (of which I am prone to even when completely sober) which, in combination with the already modified pressure from tripping, smoking chronic, and dehydration from alcohol ingestion produced the pronounced cramping in my leg and led to my hyperventillation.

I am fairly sure of this conclusion as I have taken great steps to avoid those triggers during a daily routine (drinking, smoking, dehydration) and have ingested an eighth without issue since this horrible experience. No repeat symptoms were experienced during these trials, of which there have been two.

I suppose the point of this story is to know your body and your drugs and know them well... I am not psychologically damaged by this, but as I was laying on the floor I was literally writing out my will and my goodbyes to my loved ones... I really thought I was going to die and there were two very finite moments in time when I honestly considered calling for help - thank god the paranoid stoner half of me never let that happen...

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Re: Anxiety attack after consuming a quarter, bad trip! [Re: xeallos]
    #6661345 - 03/12/07 03:14 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

This is such a well-written trip report. I enjoyed reading this and found myself laughing out loud to myself when doing so. I have had trips similar to these with weird ass shit happening to my body.. one time I was convinced I was having a heart attack and my left arm went numb and everything. It's no fun at all at that point, sorry you had to go through something like that.


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