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freddurgan
Techgnostic
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Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her
#6611716 - 02/26/07 07:39 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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I know she has a boyfriend, she knows I know she has a boyfriend. I've met her boyfriend twice.
I haven't known her THAT long, we've hung out maybe 4-5 times.
Tell her I like her and could be more than friends? Don't tell her? I feel like if I don't tell her it will eat me alive.
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demiu5
humans, lol
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: freddurgan] 2
#6611725 - 02/26/07 07:43 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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I tend to not say anything if I know there is someone else involved in the picture, just because I think it's the respectful thing to do (and believe it or not, I don't always think with my dick)
But it's really up to you. Just keep in mind that if she really likes this guy, you probably won't be friends with her afterwards or if you are it may be awkward at times
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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cookeman
Live and let live
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: freddurgan]
#6611757 - 02/26/07 08:10 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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If you wanna be this girls boyfriend I'd suggest you just wait it out and hope they break up. If she breaks up with him because she wants to date you, don't you think it would eat you up inside that she could do the same thing to you eventually with another guy? It's like if she were cheating on her boyfriend with you and then they broke up and you became her boyfriend. why whouldn't she cheat on you too? But if you're just looking for a lay then you could go right ahead. just don't hope for anything more. I personally would just wait it out either way.
-------------------- “Let’s put it this way – to lump psychedelic mushrooms into the same group as methamphetamine is like lumping the Bible into the same group as Mein Kampf. I mean shit; they’re both books, right?” Joe Rogan R.I.P. - "Bones" - One of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and become friends with.
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: cookeman]
#6611768 - 02/26/07 08:13 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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God damnit. You guys are right.
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Psilocybeingzz
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: freddurgan]
#6611786 - 02/26/07 08:22 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Dropping hints and flirting a bit is ok to do now. IMO. Cause after all, love hurts. That's the nature of the beast, people change partners over time.
But Cookeman makes some excellent points. And unless you fear she will never break up with him. Then wait it out awhile. In the meantime, be the best friend you can be. Maybe even surprise her with a gift sometime, but don't get crazy and come on to strong.
Play it cool, calm, and collective.
2 cents.
But don't try and cash em. They're worth nothing
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WhiskeyClone
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: cookeman]
#6611796 - 02/26/07 08:24 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
Tell her I like her and could be more than friends? Don't tell her? I feel like if I don't tell her it will eat me alive.
Don't say anything. As long as she's taken, it will eat you alive anyway. Just be the guy who is more fun to hang around with than her boyfriend. If you can't be that guy, you'll never end up with her anyway.
Just have fun with her, flirt here and there, if she likes you she'll let you know. Don't get attached to a girl who is not single.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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a2ndopinion
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: freddurgan]
#6611814 - 02/26/07 08:31 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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don't say anything. i know it sucks, but it's not your place to come between her and her boyfriend. trust me, you do not want to be that guy... cause that guy is a dick.
if they break up, then go for it. but don't hold your breath... best bet is to move on and let whatever is gonna happen, happen.
-------------------- Boo, you whore.
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a2ndopinion
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#6611825 - 02/26/07 08:37 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
WhiskeyClone said:
Just have fun with her, flirt here and there, if she likes you she'll let you know.
i disagree with the "flirt here and there" part. whenever guys who know that i am taken flirt with me, it always makes me think they are lame and desperate. i mean, if they know i have someone, then wtf are they doing except trying to come between me and that person= LAME.
-------------------- Boo, you whore.
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memes
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: a2ndopinion]
#6611828 - 02/26/07 08:39 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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BEWARE THE FRIEND ZONE
Other than that - i have no advice.
but beware the friend zone, see "Just Friends" the movie for reference i you are unaware of what the friend zone is.
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WhiskeyClone
Not here
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: a2ndopinion]
#6611897 - 02/26/07 09:12 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
i mean, if they know i have someone, then wtf are they doing except trying to come between me and that person= LAME.
Ah flirting doesn't have to be disrespectful like that... it isn't always an attempt to subvert someone's relationship. It's merely to establish a repore. Do you really think everyone who flirts with you is trying to steal you away?
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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it stars saddam
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#6611981 - 02/26/07 09:51 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
WhiskeyClone said: Just be the guy who is more fun to hang around with than her boyfriend.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
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Posts: 17,192
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: freddurgan]
#6612027 - 02/26/07 10:20 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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DOn't tell her.
Just be cool for the time being and just be the guy that she knows likes her but has the patience and maturity to wait it out.
More than likely she's nothing special and you should go find someone who's not taken, because you probably only really like her because she's unattainable anyway.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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mr_kite
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
#6612032 - 02/26/07 10:22 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Telling her is probably the worst idea you've ever had. Just fantasise about her suffering a horrific injury like losing a leg, her boyfriend leaving her cos he cant cope, and you taking care of her for the rest of her life, pushing the wheel chair and helping her learn to walk on her artificial limb. Thats probably what Id do anyway.
-------------------- let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love
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Ego Death
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: freddurgan]
#6612044 - 02/26/07 10:27 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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If you don't mind being sneaky then you could just linger as a good *friend* until her bf pisses her off and she needs a shoulder to cry on.
Ahhh, catching them on the rebound - the oldest and dirtiest trick in the book!
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Liquid_Dimension
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: Ego Death]
#6612053 - 02/26/07 10:30 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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--------------------
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CherryBom
Yoga Gypsy
Registered: 12/26/98
Posts: 11,177
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: Ego Death]
#6612073 - 02/26/07 10:38 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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If you catch her on the rebound, it won't last. You can probably fuck her brains out for a few months while she pines over her lost love and pretends that shes into you because she needs affection and thinks that if she holds onto you, you'll help her get over him.
Rebounds never last. But if that is what you want to be, go for it. Everyone needs a rebound relationship.
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cavemate_A
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: CherryBom]
#6612221 - 02/26/07 11:42 AM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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or... 1) become a master at lucid dreaming. 2) make love to her in your sleep.
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a2ndopinion
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: WhiskeyClone]
#6612380 - 02/26/07 12:31 PM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
WhiskeyClone said:
Quote:
i mean, if they know i have someone, then wtf are they doing except trying to come between me and that person= LAME.
Ah flirting doesn't have to be disrespectful like that... it isn't always an attempt to subvert someone's relationship. It's merely to establish a repore. Do you really think everyone who flirts with you is trying to steal you away?
no, i don't think that everyone who flirts with me is trying to steal me away. i just think it's lame, and i don't see the point if it is known that one or both of the flirters are involved with someone. i don't flirt with other guys... cause what's the point? i have a BF. i'll flirt with him if i feel the need to flirt.
-------------------- Boo, you whore.
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rawtoxic
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: CherryBom]
#6612412 - 02/26/07 12:44 PM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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CB is right about rebound relationships I just got out of one... it was great for both us.
Once I went on a college trip with some people for a long weekend, got to be really good friends with a girl in my group for Geology kind of like match in heaven shit we fucked a few times she left her boyfriend a week later and we dated 8 months solid after that and only parted because heading different directions in our lives. I never mentioned anything about WANTING her even though she had a boyfriend. The key is to see her and talk to her without him really even in the picture.. Pretend he does not exist and if she mentions him his existance is insignifigant...
Edit: Why is everyone caught up with status of a individual. I myself even if in a relationship am OPEN to meeting someone new and beautiful that might just be the person that is my match. I guess I'm just a dreamer when everyone else is a realist. I mean think about how many times in your life you have changed your mind.
Edited by rawtoxic (02/26/07 12:52 PM)
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a2ndopinion
a real smart ass
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Re: Telling a girl who has a boyfriend that you really dig her [Re: rawtoxic]
#6612567 - 02/26/07 01:30 PM (17 years, 25 days ago) |
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Quote:
rawtoxic said: CB is right about rebound relationships I just got out of one... it was great for both us.
Once I went on a college trip with some people for a long weekend, got to be really good friends with a girl in my group for Geology kind of like match in heaven shit we fucked a few times she left her boyfriend a week later and we dated 8 months solid after that and only parted because heading different directions in our lives. I never mentioned anything about WANTING her even though she had a boyfriend. The key is to see her and talk to her without him really even in the picture.. Pretend he does not exist and if she mentions him his existance is insignifigant...
Edit: Why is everyone caught up with status of a individual. I myself even if in a relationship am OPEN to meeting someone new and beautiful that might just be the person that is my match. I guess I'm just a dreamer when everyone else is a realist. I mean think about how many times in your life you have changed your mind.
dude... i am all about keeping an open mind... but i am also all about respecting the person i am in a relationship with. if i wanted to play the field and fuck lots of guys, i wouldn't agree to be in a committed, exclusive relationship. that's just the way i am though.
that girl that ultimately left her BF for you also cheated on him with you. in my book, that deserves a . cheating is never even almost ok. break up with the person first, and then fuck whoever you want... but don't cheat.
-------------------- Boo, you whore.
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