Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Extract   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
InvisibleLucidDayDream
Ponderer...
Registered: 11/04/01
Posts: 198
My problems, your advice? Maybe?
    #659093 - 06/02/02 12:28 PM (21 years, 7 months ago)

I just wanted to post something, maybe its selfish that I worry too much about things, but after visiting the shroomery often for the last few years, I?ve found it?s a place where people are pretty courteous about giving feedback upon much deeper things than mushroom cultivation. I just want to tell you my problems, and maybe get some feedback from you, since many of us are probably in (or have been) similar boats. I don?t know really where to begin this, and as I write this, like most things, I feel uncertain about it but just mainly need to get it out. Ok I will not drag on. I am a 22 year old college student, a good looking, kind, very well liked person I believe. When I was about 18 I discovered pot, and had just gotten over a deep depression that was not provoked by anything influential, just mainly what I believed to be a chemical imbalance. I come from a wonderful family and have been raised by wonderful parents. Anyway, after I was treated for depression with Paxil (antidepressant) at the time? Anyway, I smoked a lot of pot throughout the last five years, daily, sometimes multiple times. I always could handle it fine and it brought me little paranoia. Now, five years later, I feel like I?ve beaten a lot of my depression (yet I still smoke pot and drink often), I don?t really feel to have to same symptoms as I did when I was diagnosed with it, but I have something going on for sure. I feel like I?ve recently developed a social anxiety disorder, and the odd part is that things like this sort of creep into your life, but now I think something has definitely emerged when I look back on my feelings of the past (such as going outside downtown (where I live) and how it used to not bother me but now does). Anyway, I went off antidepressants for most of this school year, and I felt like I was doing fairly decent. The odd thing is that as this social anxiety thing crept into my life, I was still loving pot but getting way more nervous around people, so I didn?t want to do it as much.. which was good, I thought I was finally getting over it a little, moving on.. Anyway, I have recently gone back on antidepressants, celexa, and I?ve noticed some changes? I?ve only been on it about a week, but I felt a little better, more optimistic minded.. but I get all shaky and shit.. Anyway, for some reason I really feel like I want to smoke a lot of pot.. the Celexa has a sort of stimulant effect, not the classic heart pounding caffeine, coke, amphetamine buzz but more of a bodily feeling.. I feel like I am more self-medicating with pot on it or something? I?ve also been hitting the bars excessively, which also seems as a sort of self-medication since I can?t sleep well on the Celexa, and drinking a lot seems to loosen me up in the social situations.
I think I need to get laid, or maybe just some affection from someone. A friend recently told me this, he could see it in my eyes I think. I guess its selfish.. Well if you?ve read this far, thanks, I just need some advice from some of you guys. I am sure at least some of you have been in a similar situation. I know my main problem is my related to my pot use, but I don?t understand how its suddenly seemed much more uptight to me. It does not relax me in the least.. I know paranoia is a big factor, but its increasing seems to seem like there is an underlying anxiety disorder or something.. Also, I don?t feel like I can sum things up. I enjoy writing but writing allows me to go back and change things and tweak them up, and I can?t do this with spoken words.. I?ve almost felt like I want to give up on spoken communication, conversation seems like such a primative form of human relation. When I talk online I find myself saying things, whole sentences, and then erasing them.. and A lot of the things that I say to people I later on feel do not hit the right points.. I know I am creative person, and I guess artists are always trying to ?cease? something, and BS conversation at a bar with some girl seems sort of stupid to me? I want to meet people but my conversations are often dull and sort of trail off.. I don?t feel like I want to make the efforts. Well, sorry for dragging you through all this, I think that its been my pot smoking that contributes to my problems, as I?ve seen on days where I?ve not smoked (which I?ve been doing a lot more recently) that I am much more confident.. yet still very shy.. I feel like I can no longer handle pot outside of my own home.. with people I know well.. but maybe this is a good thing, maybe I can cut down to moderate use and live a fuller life.. maybe I am just moving on.. Oh one more thing ? I feel like I often give off this vibe, like a sort of self fulfilling prophecy that I am giving off a negative vibe and the way I say or do something it?s not touching with how I truly feel, which happens often but much more when high.. Maybe I am too over analytical, I think Ive always thought too much..Anyway, your advice is appreciated.. I guess maybe you don?t have a lot to say, but anything advantageous towards me making some life changes.. Any good books, meditation, helpful drugs, etc. that I could benefit from? Thanks guys


Extras: Unfilter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Extract   Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* something is wrong... i need some advice.. okayjose 1,274 19 01/05/03 11:40 AM
by Strumpling
* The Problem with Religion
( 1 2 3 all )
infidelGOD 3,706 49 01/29/04 10:46 PM
by infidelGOD
* Dream Problems BLuEFroG 1,090 14 02/21/04 03:58 PM
by BLuEFroG
* "Freewill problem" check
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 all )
buttonion 18,323 153 04/22/07 10:13 PM
by Phred
* drugs...too self aware...intellectual confusion..need advice
( 1 2 all )
kapowsin 4,568 31 09/19/03 07:58 PM
by silversoul7
* astal projection problem YellowSubmarine 1,520 17 08/05/03 11:18 AM
by Swami
* What the fuck's my problem? MANNALORD 1,209 12 06/10/03 01:59 AM
by enotake2
* Help with a girl.. Please.. Any advice appreciated MazatecMon 1,272 10 04/24/02 12:28 PM
by buttonion

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, DividedQuantum
2,982 topic views. 0 members, 13 guests and 2 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.021 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 16 queries.