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MasFina
Snow Shredder


Registered: 05/08/06
Posts: 788
Loc: Mountains
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You know, I'm living in Florida right now and would much rather be in Oregon. I went snowboarding at Mt Hood once and loved it. Very beautiful out there. JellyFish do you snowboard? If you don't then I would highly recomend learning. I don't know what ski resorts are near you, but I know Mt Bachelor and some other Oregon places get copious amounts of powder. Taking a run on a bluebird day in bottomless powder is heaven on earth and once you've experienced that then you always have a reason not to want to die. I highly recomend it. But whether it's snowboarding or whatever, it's passion and love that make life worth living. Also, I buy into the buddhist perspective on suffering: All of our suffering is caused from attachement. And the attachement can be anything. Love, hate, food, fear, music etc. Circular patterns of thought develop around the attachments that enslave us. The practice of Buddhism frees us from these attachements. There is a lot more to say about all of that though, so I would suggest reading up on it if you are interested. Oh, and I know I kinda contradicted myself with the passion and love is what we live for and then "attachement causes dispair." Well, make of it what you will. The world is full of paradox.
-------------------- A Good Substrate: Poo With Extras Good Liquid Culture, Step by Step Timer Modification PM me if you are interested in buying 140ml syringes. $6 each + $7 shipping
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wearejellyfish
Stranger


Registered: 11/20/06
Posts: 1,375
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: suicidal attraction [Re: MasFina]
#6565614 - 02/14/07 03:19 AM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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what part of florida? i lived in orlando..
i've never been snowboarding, but i hope to sometime soon.
i think i should start reading more into buddhism.
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MasFina
Snow Shredder


Registered: 05/08/06
Posts: 788
Loc: Mountains
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Right down the street in Tampa. I've been down here for almost 2 years now. Moved here from WI. Moving out west as soon as I get my finance degree. Thinkin Tahoe, which probably really means Sacramento, but we'll see. Pleeeez try snowboarding. You will love it once you learn. You live in a sick location for it too. Buddhism can really start changing your life right away if you conciously apply it to your life and begin meditating daily. There are a zillion books on it. I recently watched a great lecture on buddhism by Robert Thurman, which is the leading American Buddhist scholar, and it was very good. I got it off of Blockbuster online. He has several DVD lectures I think. It would be a quick intro if you don't want to read a book right away. You could probably youtube it too.
-------------------- A Good Substrate: Poo With Extras Good Liquid Culture, Step by Step Timer Modification PM me if you are interested in buying 140ml syringes. $6 each + $7 shipping
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wearejellyfish
Stranger


Registered: 11/20/06
Posts: 1,375
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: suicidal attraction [Re: MasFina]
#6565649 - 02/14/07 04:19 AM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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i'll definitely try to find that video. thanks.
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flower_child
Dawson


Registered: 12/13/05
Posts: 677
Last seen: 5 years, 18 days
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I hope this hasn't been suggested. I'm shot on time and just skimmed this thread. However, I suggest that since you're unable to to talk to your friend about death anymore, you take up a hobby in which you can express those feelings.
You could write poems, short stories, or even novels. Whatever takes your fancy. You could also do some type of art or drawing. If you're musically inclined, you could even take up songwriting. That's a great way to express your feelings.
Other than that, I suggest finding any sort of hobby that you can put yourself into. Look for a way to spend your energy and free time. Bring some meaning into your life.
Good luck. I'll send some good vibes in your direction.
-------------------- Today while walking up the stairs I met a man who wasn't there He wasn't there again today Oh how I wish he'd stay away
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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for a good time call 423 2054 [Re: flower_child]
#6565711 - 02/14/07 05:31 AM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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suicide thoughts or rank negation anti-establishment or anarchy even corruption and decay all are fascinating is a particular way like s&m, a reversal of priorities which becomes a relief from the pressure of "conformity" all of that is close to art. these things can even masquerade as art. making an elegant statement perhaps. like "johnny was here" on the bathroom wall, or scratched into a table.
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sadspacemonkey
!universe!


Registered: 11/01/06
Posts: 376
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Quote:
wearejellyfish said: as soon as spring hits here, i'll hopefully be outside every day photographing. outside in nature's beauty seems to be the place i feel most comfortable. and although it would be amazing to have someone to experience the same feelings of the outdoors as me, i'm most likely going to go to these places alone, which is okay, for now, i guess.
When I was on anti-depressants, they kept me together enough to function what made you stop taking them?
Mushrooms, pretty much.
Tripping healed me dramatically. Things aren't perfect now, but for the first time since puberty (when this mess began) pain isn't my default. A post I made about a particularly life changing trip is floating around somewhere. Anyway, I feel much better than I did on the meds. (But before I'd hit rock bottom within a couple weeks and stay there if I stopped taking them...odd, isn't it?)
I also feel your frustration at having to do things alone. I've been there, I am there. :P I agree it can be especially strange if you're a young woman...I get the 'what? you're here alone??' thing a lot. But as long as you stay safe, this can be a great chance to get to know yourself better, make best friends with yourself- sounds cheesey, but I've had great one-woman parties.
But please stay safe. I took a lot of stupid chances when I was suicidal simply because I didn't care. Now things are better and I thank god nothing bad happened. Hope is there, even if you don't feel it.
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"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana
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wearejellyfish
Stranger


Registered: 11/20/06
Posts: 1,375
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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thanks. i'm hoping mushrooms will have that same healing affect one me as well.
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MrBuzin
Stranger


Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 432
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Quote:
wearejellyfish said: thanks. i'm hoping mushrooms will have that same healing affect one me as well.
whens the last time you've eaten mushrooms... beware mushrooms can exaggerate your already state of suicidal thoughts.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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Re: suicidal attraction - leave your suitcases at home [Re: MrBuzin]
#6569936 - 02/15/07 07:11 AM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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naturally psychedelics exagerrate mental content in every conceivable way. where people get all turned about is that they consider the mental event significant outside of the psychedelic context.
what makes sense in the normal world still makes sense what makes sense in the psychedelic world makes no sense in the normal world but has the sense of verifiability at the time(s) of perception.
all this making sense and not making sense makes a split between the normal world (and people) and the twisted space that occurs in your head as moments collide and form mountains like tectonic mental crust.
when you go into a psychedelic experience, you have to know that it is a vision quest, not a fact quest. you come out enriched by dreams which can embellish reality if you so chose, but the logic from psychedelic spaces is not functional without the layered mentation.
the logical leaps are impossible in the nonpsychedelic world. this should give you pause. pause is so much better than superstitious fear. it relates to basic insight.
pay attention to set and setting and how they play on the psychedelic receptivity. this is the core of the vision quest. everything else is baggage.
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wearejellyfish
Stranger


Registered: 11/20/06
Posts: 1,375
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
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Re: suicidal attraction [Re: MrBuzin]
#6571366 - 02/15/07 04:21 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MrBuzin said: whens the last time you've eaten mushrooms... beware mushrooms can exaggerate your already state of suicidal thoughts.
i have yet to.
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sadspacemonkey
!universe!


Registered: 11/01/06
Posts: 376
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: suicidal attraction - leave your suitcases at home [Re: redgreenvines]
#6573020 - 02/15/07 11:29 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: naturally psychedelics exagerrate mental content in every conceivable way. where people get all turned about is that they consider the mental event significant outside of the psychedelic context.
what makes sense in the normal world still makes sense what makes sense in the psychedelic world makes no sense in the normal world but has the sense of verifiability at the time(s) of perception.
all this making sense and not making sense makes a split between the normal world (and people) and the twisted space that occurs in your head as moments collide and form mountains like tectonic mental crust.
when you go into a psychedelic experience, you have to know that it is a vision quest, not a fact quest. you come out enriched by dreams which can embellish reality if you so chose, but the logic from psychedelic spaces is not functional without the layered mentation.
the logical leaps are impossible in the nonpsychedelic world. this should give you pause. pause is so much better than superstitious fear. it relates to basic insight.
pay attention to set and setting and how they play on the psychedelic receptivity. this is the core of the vision quest. everything else is baggage.
I agree with this.
Educating yourself as much as you can about the nature of a mushroom trip as well as staying as aware and honest as you can about yourself is a great thing.
I definitely was depressed when I tried it, but it had a great effect. My friend tried it and she didn't enjoy it at all. You have to decide for yourself if you think you will benefit from the experience. I heard that tripping in a bad mood was asking for trouble but my depression wasn't a 'mood' -- still, I thought long and hard about whether it was worth it to risk a bad trip. But as long as you follow the 'set and setting' doctrine, you should be ok..
I should add that it wasn't just mushrooms that helped me, but also certain life decisions (such as moving out of my mom's place) set up the perfect timing in a sense. I wasn't happy, but I suddenly felt a confidence and bravery I didn't before.
Everyone has their own experience...I hope yours is worthwhile. : :
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"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks


Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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i actually think of death as ultimate enlightenment. you become nothing. theres nothing wrong with death, in fact some scientiests and scholars say we're going through a shortage of death, but i do think that you should live as long as you possibly can within reasonable bounds and do whatever you want within reasonable bounds as well. Cause death is eternal, living isnt.
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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jonnyjonjonjon
CrackBadger


Registered: 12/06/04
Posts: 727
Loc: The Pharm
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: suicidal attraction [Re: Drewwyann]
#6581660 - 02/18/07 02:07 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Imagine all that life youd be wasting. Lifes short enough as it is. Some people do anything to avoid death. Others do anything to find it.
-------------------- Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.
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Floop
Stranger
Registered: 11/28/06
Posts: 179
Last seen: 14 years, 10 months
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Take the advice from people here, meet new people, take a lot of photographs, just go out a lot and keep yourself occupied. You'll see life doesn't have to be like it is now. And you can decide to give it a try to crawl out of the negative. When I was depressed I found out that once I decided I would try to make something of my life I had a lot more strenght than I had ever imagined. Although I know how mentally paralyzing depression can be.
But shrooms can give you the courage to change, while showing you how beautiful this miracle of our existence is. Though Im hesitant to recommend shrooms in this situation. Mdma would be a safer alternative..
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and happines in the world.
-------------------- "The finest emotion of which we are capable is the mystic emotion. Herein lies the germ of all art and all true science. Anyone to whom this feeling is alien, who is no longer capable of wonderment and lives in a state of fear is a dead man. To know that what is impenatrable for us really exists and manifests itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, whose gross forms alone are intelligible to our poor faculties - this knowledge, this feeling ... that is the core of the true religious sent iment. In this sense, and in this sense alone, I rank myself amoung profoundly religious men." -Albert Einstein
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MrBuzin
Stranger


Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 432
Last seen: 16 years, 3 months
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Re: suicidal attraction [Re: Drewwyann]
#6582157 - 02/18/07 04:35 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Drewwyann said: i actually think of death as ultimate enlightenment. you become nothing. theres nothing wrong with death, in fact some scientiests and scholars say we're going through a shortage of death, but i do think that you should live as long as you possibly can within reasonable bounds and do whatever you want within reasonable bounds as well. Cause death is eternal, living isnt.
not trying to mind fuck ya but how do you know this :P when it comes down to it we know nothing
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Viveka
refutation bias


Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 4,061
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: suicidal attraction [Re: MrBuzin]
#6582952 - 02/18/07 08:19 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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We know that we are living right now and it is very likely that this is the only living we're going to do. We may not know for certain that "death is eternal", but we know we're alive now. The point is don't throw away what you have right now.
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks


Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: suicidal attraction [Re: MrBuzin]
#6585875 - 02/19/07 03:58 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MrBuzin said:
Quote:
Drewwyann said: i actually think of death as ultimate enlightenment. you become nothing. theres nothing wrong with death, in fact some scientiests and scholars say we're going through a shortage of death, but i do think that you should live as long as you possibly can within reasonable bounds and do whatever you want within reasonable bounds as well. Cause death is eternal, living isnt.
not trying to mind fuck ya but how do you know this :P when it comes down to it we know nothing
I dunno, but thats what i consider it, and thats what i think happens after death. literally nothing. Nobody knows anything for sure obiously, but that is what i invest my thoughts into.
I just think that itll be like before birth i guess. No disrespect to anybody who thinks differently than i do if thats how it came off. my bad =P
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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