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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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MDMA , and the journey through life :)
    #6522529 - 02/02/07 04:25 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Well I've been rambling to my GF, and now I think I am going to ramble to you guys for awhile, anyone that doesn't want to hear my MDMA induced ramblings, you have been warned! :lol:

You know that feeling when you step out of the shower, and your skin feels so clean. (especially if you have been at work all day...etc)

I feel like my brain has taken a shower(does that make sense? :tongue: ) All the negativity, and personal day to day shit I sometimes carry around has been washed down the drain. Its not that I feel ignorant of whats wrong in the world. I just feel like my place in it is very special, and I can do just about anything.

Who would complain in such a privileged place such as I find myself. I am not ubber-rich, but I have a fridge full of food, a GF, and family I love, and actually respect(and I'm not just saying that because its customary to speak well of your family) I have great friends, and my whole life ahead of me.

I want to live my life while having as much enjoyment as possible while helping my fellow travelers, revelers,sinners and saints. :lol: I want to have an enjoyable life, while making the lives of all you crazy eccentric demon-angels better.

I'm going to volunteer at the art gallery finally, I've always wanted too, and if I work hard maybe(as hard as you can at an art gallery :smirk: he he)
I can get a job there. It would be a great fit for me to work part time there while going to school. And before school.

Last year I saw an academic adviser, and I was all ready to register , and pay my fees..... but then when the time came, work, and money problems took over. So I gave up on the idea. Well now I have enough cash to last until I get working part time, and I feel the drive now more then ever, I'm 25 if I don't go to school now, when will I 30??(not that there is anything wrong with that, but I cant wait anymore)

If I don't try starting a SMALL business now, then when?
When I am 44?? Fuck that. :noway:

I NEED to push for my dreams now
, not a day from now, or a week from now, but in the present moments I have. Because after all, the present is like holding a large amount of  sand in one hand,  you can try and stop it, but its always slipping through. The past and future are just concepts, things that help us make sense of time. This EXACT moment is all I really have, and as I write this thing, that moment has already passed.

I feel truly blessed to have the friends that I do. When I was younger we moved multiple times, but when I turned 13, I basically told my parents if you make me move again I will quite literally fucking FREAK out. And its weird to think how things would have turned out if I ended up in another town. If I didn't meet all the wonderful people I know. My friends are so smart and creative(each and everyone of them, and I swear I am not just saying this cause they are my friends) Even when I don't agree at all, I cannot deny their insight, intelligence, or wisdom.

Even when they are verbally smacking me to get me off my ass, or to get me to see something their way, I LOVE them. :heart: I can be defending a point, and with one very wise, properly timed joke, my friend X can have me laughing my ass off!! , at myself!! And my situations :lol:
I can laugh and say "fuck you man" but I cant deny the importance of what he is saying.
I'm going to college finally, I'm retaking my math so I can get into Chemistry, I'm going to study Microbiology, Philosophy, Psychology, and everything else I have ever wanted to, no more waiting, just doing.

I'm going to give my guitar the sweet attention she deserves, I stagnated there for about a month or so, and it makes me sick to think I could actually be getting rusty.

And lastly, dont you feel by logging in here, and learning from others, and sharing their experiences that you gain a larger mind. Here are all sorts of people, teaching each outher about countless topics, I feel like coming here really braodnens my perspective, and makes me smarted then I would have been on my own. I'm learning, and sharing knowledge. What a great feeling.


I'm rolling REALLY hard, so I will leave it there for now.... I need to smoke a little herb. And chill out a bit. :peace: :pills: :heart: :bongload:






:strokebeard:


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Edited by Psilocybeingzz (02/02/07 04:51 AM)

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Offlineenotake2
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Re: MDMA ramblings.......... [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6522541 - 02/02/07 04:36 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Glad you're having a good night. I hope you go through with it all your plans. Education is a great thing.

"If I didn't meat all the wonderful people I know. "

I think you mean 'meet'?


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA ramblings.......... [Re: enotake2]
    #6522551 - 02/02/07 04:47 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Yes of course I MEANT meet, but the words were just spilling out so fast and that damn a is to close to the e, too close I say!!!! Too close!!!

And I will go though with all my plans, I have wanted to go to school for some time now, and my business will be "loose" at first, I don't expect allot of profit, just some extra income and MDMA didn't create the ideas for me*, it just put them all into perspective :smile:


*=although I am coming up with lots of NEW ideas while on this. As I said in another section, I am fucking SAILING. :pills: : :inlove:  :smile2:  :jamming:  :strokebeard:  :levitate:  :dancing:


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Offlinerazmablues
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6522737 - 02/02/07 08:25 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

people say some really good stuff while they're on e

lets see if you push through with it. i'm not saying you won't, but thats what i usually see happening to these revelations people have while under the substance :shrug:


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soft silly music is meaningful, magical :heartpump:

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: razmablues]
    #6523043 - 02/02/07 10:58 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

As I said, my goals were already set, so to speak. MDMA just helped put things in perspective, and got me thinking about what I really want to do now. And what I want to do 20 years from now.


I'm a pretty motivated guy acutally(MDMA or no MDMA :lol: ) so this shouldn't be too much a task, but I suppose this thread will be here to kick my ass when it needs kicking.

And I have devolpded what I HOPE is a life saving technique ,  when people freak out(my GF, my GF's family... my litle brother, whoever..)When they yell at me, and cuss me out, if I know them, there is no reason to fight(phsically, and I just turn around and walk away.
I was doing this prior to having ever taken MDMA.

I have a heart condition, and I almost died while swimming last summer(cause I did something stupid), so I realized something, like a fucking supernova going off in my head! .............................................  :shocked: ....
I cant waste away my precious heartbeats dealing with peoples drama. I am compassionate, but when unneeded gossip(the bad kind :wink: ) or when drama heats up......

I walk away.  Now.
Its not worth it to get all full of rage , especially not with family and friends. I used to yell myself sometimes, but these days I am allot queiter.

I speak calmly and rationally, and I expect the same, when I dont get it, these days I jsut walk away. You should try it, its a great feeling. :grin:


:pills: :earth: :levitate: :earth: :strokebeard:

Edited by Psilocybeingzz (02/03/07 03:24 AM)

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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6523083 - 02/02/07 11:12 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

you may freak me out and catch me off-guard at times, but I think, really, you're alright

:hug:


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channel your inner Larry David

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InvisibleDisco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6523167 - 02/02/07 11:36 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Still rolling? I'm still just getting over the 17 beers I had when I called you 2 nights ago. Open mic, I say.

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Disco Cat]
    #6523193 - 02/02/07 11:44 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Indeed,.. sir :grin: Indeed! Open mics.... eventually. :smile: :jamming:

I dosed more this morning, and since I woke up at 8pm LAST night, it doesn't seem so odd to be up right now. And its fucking awesome. Beutiful day coming, and I can do whatever I want :heart: :smile:

Edited by Psilocybeingzz (02/02/07 12:06 PM)

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6524194 - 02/02/07 05:17 PM (17 years, 1 month ago)

BUMP. Please read my ramblings. THANK YOU. :smile:


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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6525387 - 02/03/07 01:41 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Just wanted to add that I am still going strong :grin:

the last dose I took was huge, and made me a little sick at first, but then the feeling passed. And I feel fucking great right now :dancing: E , herb, and music, shit what more could I want!! I already have food :smile:


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6525454 - 02/03/07 02:36 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

sounds like a good time. make sure you get plenty of rest tomorrow....

and when you are done with that read over this thread a few times. make sure the shit sinks in. now go rub the carpet :grin:


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how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: wrestler_az]
    #6525463 - 02/03/07 02:39 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

:lol: You make excellent points, but that was also really funny.

I plan to sleep well, and I am going to eat a good breakfast, and take some 5HTP :smile: when I wake.

(still going strong!!, and I am going to bump a few little bits soon, just to end the night right :thumbup: Bless you Alexander Shulgin, I love you :heart: )



Edited by Psilocybeingzz (02/03/07 02:51 AM)

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Invisiblemecreateme
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6525477 - 02/03/07 02:48 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Make sure and eat too. It can be hard, I know. But 5-htp on an empty stomach is never fun.

I just like the smoke the day after I roll, it helps you slow down and relax.


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No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.

You are everything's way of feeling itself.

Happy Schwag, everygodly!

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InvisibleDR. PRIME
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Registered: 12/14/06
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6525515 - 02/03/07 03:10 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Man I'm happy to hear someone finally talk the way I think. I don't post much cuz there's a lot of wackadu subjects but your post is probably the most worthwhile words I've ever seen on this site. I'm truly, honestly happy that you've come to these realizations. We have a lot more in common then I would have expected. You kinda talk like the day I realized there is no God. You made my night!:thumbup:

Keep-in the mindset you're in. Don't let it slip away from you! You're new outlook is 100% totally correct and the reason why great people are where they are now. When you think the way you're thinking now, sober, then you know you got your shit together.(Don't let it just be the Ecstasy talking.;)) Your 'rambling' is a perfect example of someone who is truly blessed and has a strong future ahead of them. Aren't you glad you figured this shit out before it was too late? I know the feeling. It is very liberating and the first step to the happiest, most optimistic point-of-view on the face of this Earth.

As far as friends go you are also in a very good position. There are people that don't even have one best friend but you have many. That just shows your character. They obviously respect you! I have the same general experiences with my friends. I'm glad someone else can share the feeling with me.

Just remember, never get discouraged! Life will throw shit at you that you never saw coming. Take it head-on. In the end you'll be a more ultimate human being then you were before.

Keep your mind open and treat everyone as a human being. Your life will flourish and people will be affected by you wherever you go.

Keep it real. Thanks for the post!


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Edited by DR. PRIME (02/03/07 03:40 AM)

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Offlineschmutzen
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6525531 - 02/03/07 03:19 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Psilocybeingzz said:
I speak calmly and rationally, and I expect the same, when I dont get it, these days I just walk away. You should try it, its a great feeling. :grin:




Confrontation is hard, but sometimes it's for the best, don't get into a habit of just walking away.

I did enjoy sailing vicariously with you these past couple of days, Danke schön!


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"Blow up your TV, throw away your paper.  Go to the country, build you a home."

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: schmutzen]
    #6525541 - 02/03/07 03:28 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

:lol:
Your intersting AND funny. Nice combo bro. I have enjoyed myself too :smile:
Its kinda hard to type write now, but I am thinking :wink: ,,, allot!


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InvisibleDR. PRIME
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6525564 - 02/03/07 03:38 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Oh and the art...yeah! You know your shit.
By the way, Thanks for the rating, too.


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Edited by DR. PRIME (02/03/07 03:38 AM)

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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: DR. PRIME]
    #6525581 - 02/03/07 03:52 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Yes I mean't to respomd to you sooner. I have a much deeper appreciation of my life right now, and how I fit into a bigger picture.

THANK YOU for you kind words and insight.
:heart: :grin:

This will be a lasting change, I already was, almost totally sure, about everything I want to do in the next 5-10 years.  The MDMA added fuel to the fire.  Lots of fuel actually, tons.  :wink:

I want to say nmore, but its getting a little hard to type.
I will share more tomorrow, glad to know we share an understanding. :thumbup:
Typing is a bit much for me right now, thinking on the other hand :strokebeard: is not.


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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6529868 - 02/04/07 12:52 PM (17 years, 1 month ago)

After sleeping for almost 14 hours(around there?) When I woke up this morning, my mouth felt quite dry, I already had one can a fruit juice, and I am sure I will make it to 5 within half and hour.... plus I am going to drink lots of water and have some of that stuff I didn't really have for such a long period of time.............FOOD. It will be nice to eat again, as I barely ate at all while dancing with MDMA.
My brain feels a bit "fuzzy" and my limbs feel a bit weak. But overall I feel fucking fantastic. But I am going to go heavy on the liquids, 5HTP, and of course lots of high quality food. I think the weakness I feel has more to do with a lack of food then anything else.

Overall, a wonderful experience, but I don't plan on doing more anytime soon. Maybe after 4-8 months have passed, but I'm in no rush to take more, I got all I needed in the 30 or so hours before I went to sleep. I woke up at 9:30pm yesterday. And have been awake ever since.


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6529967 - 02/04/07 01:14 PM (17 years, 1 month ago)

Awsome brother, take it as far as you can. Following through on my pychedelicized and empath-ized inspirations is never as easy as I'd like it to be, but I'm getting better at it.

Enjoy and good luck. :laugh: :heartpump: :sunny:


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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: MDMA , and the journey through life :) [Re: Dark_Star]
    #6532183 - 02/05/07 12:35 AM (17 years, 1 month ago)

As was suggested, I will be reading this thread from time to time to remind myself of what I "promised myself" and realized that night.(more like 2days :smirk: )  I had many of these plans for sometime, but they were mearly yearnings. The MDMA got me thinking at a white hot level of intensity, and it really did put everything in perspective.

I know countless people have said similar things before, but that experience changed me, and I cannot and will not go back to the day dreaming style of hoping for things. If I want something done, I have to do it. Seems simple enough, but I guess I needed a kick in the ass.

THANKS for the kind words and support.
:heart: If I hadn't rated you already, I'd give ya a 10. :wink:


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