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OfflineMrBuzin
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Male

Registered: 09/21/06
Posts: 432
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
My will is weak
    #6453220 - 01/12/07 07:58 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I know I make a lot of depressed shitty post. Sorry. I just feel my will is weak, more so then it's ever been at the moment. I really don't know what to do. I have to much on my mind, to much built up. I feel like an old man who is ready to die. I'm tired of being a human really. I'm tired of being confined to these biological laws. I'm tired of being a parasite. I certainly can't bare the guilt of hurting mother nature anymore. My spirit is aching me. It wants to be set free. I want to be free.

Anyone feel?


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/19/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6453277 - 01/12/07 08:21 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I felt this way for about the last 3 or 4 years up until, I dunno, maybe a few months ago.

Quote:

I have to much on my mind, to much built up.




So let's talk about it.  Even if I can't help you, per-se, at least talking about it will help vent some of that pressure.


Quote:

I feel like an old man who is ready to die.




Man, I'm sure my friends and mom got tired of hearing me say this.  I felt this way up until about 4 weeks ago.  Do you exercise?  How much do you get outside?

I think my camping trip 8 weeks ago for one of my courses got my ass in gear.  Then I started wanting to be outside more (more than usual), but instead of just wanting to, I actually went.  And 3 weeks or so ago I started a small exercise regimen at home.  I have not felt better, or more in my body, in years.


Quote:

I'm tired of being a human really.




I'm afraid you can't change that, believe me, I've tried :lol:


Quote:

I'm tired of being confined to these biological laws.




Again, not much you can do.  Stop looking at them as laws, and look at them as how our nurturing mother takes care of us, allows us to be.  Every plant and animal, bacteria and rock, all are bound by these "laws".

Quote:

I'm tired of being a parasite. I certainly can't bare the guilt of hurting mother nature anymore.




Me too, and I can't either.  But unfortunately, until I get my degree and/or start participating in organic farming and sustainable living, there isn't a damned thing I can do.  Unfortunately, I was not born in the jungle, or the forest, or the mountains, or on an island, raised in a "civilization" where there is no electricity or fuels, etc...  But I know I don't belong in this lifestyle, but I do know I'm stuck here until I either a) buy my way out of it (because they know they have us trapped) or b) work my own lifestyle through theirs (sustainability vs. what you and I have now).


Quote:

My spirit is aching me. It wants to be set free. I want to be free.




I have stopped (temporarily) using cannabis, and that has helped bring about some clarity in my life these past few days.  I remembered my form of meditation which I had never previously realized it as meditation, and am trying to reconnect with my mind and body through that.  I have greatly reduced the amounts of mushrooms, LSD, and salvia I am using, and probably won't be tripping near as much as I once was.  I am trying, just like so many others, to find my path in life so I can be free, not just feel free.  For true freedom comes from within, no matter what external forces are pressing against you.


Quote:

Anyone feel?




Do I feel?  I'm not always sure.  Do I feel what you're saying [right now]?  Yes, I do.


:hug:


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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OfflineCerebralFlower
whats left?

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 1,326
Loc: only the truth is left
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: My will is weak [Re: demiu5]
    #6453795 - 01/12/07 11:17 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Let go of everything you knew or felt. Exist in the present. Think about things that make your soul feel ached, and do the things that would set it free. Forget this mind and let go of your emotions


--------------------
God says dance with your heart
And shake free of you desire

Where theres a will theres always a way
When you get confused listen to the music play



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OfflineMaitereya
bohemian

Registered: 03/24/06
Posts: 120
Last seen: 8 years, 7 months
Re: My will is weak [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6453904 - 01/12/07 11:58 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

theres something called seasonal affective disorder, it happens alot in the winter when a person doesnt get enough sunlight and fresh air. doctors will give you a mirror with high intensity lights to sit in front of. i actually sit in front of a big window for 5-10 minutes with the sun beating down on me. it works too.

maybe more human contact. physical and social. go to a strip club. go to a yoga class. take a drawing class at a local museum.

meditating, eating right, exercise, reading, writing, less bullshit tv.

i was watching 'i love new york' yesterday and it fucked with my chi so much. i cant watch tv anymore, im afraid of it lol.

writing can help alot, it helps get emotions out. keep a journal, it wont give you feedback like the shroomery will but it helps getting something off your chest.


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 7 years, 12 days
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6454013 - 01/13/07 12:40 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Seriously, don't stress it. You're being hypercritical, man.

Go listen to some Grateful Dead. :smile:


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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OfflineMrBuzin
Stranger
Male

Registered: 09/21/06
Posts: 432
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: My will is weak [Re: CerebralFlower]
    #6456855 - 01/14/07 12:11 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

demius said:
I felt this way for about the last 3 or 4 years up until, I dunno, maybe a few months ago.

Quote:

I have to much on my mind, to much built up.




So let's talk about it.  Even if I can't help you, per-se, at least talking about it will help vent some of that pressure.


Quote:

I feel like an old man who is ready to die.




Man, I'm sure my friends and mom got tired of hearing me say this.  I felt this way up until about 4 weeks ago.  Do you exercise?  How much do you get outside?

I think my camping trip 8 weeks ago for one of my courses got my ass in gear.  Then I started wanting to be outside more (more than usual), but instead of just wanting to, I actually went.  And 3 weeks or so ago I started a small exercise regimen at home.  I have not felt better, or more in my body, in years.


Quote:

I'm tired of being a human really.




I'm afraid you can't change that, believe me, I've tried :lol:


Quote:

I'm tired of being confined to these biological laws.




Again, not much you can do.  Stop looking at them as laws, and look at them as how our nurturing mother takes care of us, allows us to be.  Every plant and animal, bacteria and rock, all are bound by these "laws".

Quote:

I'm tired of being a parasite. I certainly can't bare the guilt of hurting mother nature anymore.




Me too, and I can't either.  But unfortunately, until I get my degree and/or start participating in organic farming and sustainable living, there isn't a damned thing I can do.  Unfortunately, I was not born in the jungle, or the forest, or the mountains, or on an island, raised in a "civilization" where there is no electricity or fuels, etc...  But I know I don't belong in this lifestyle, but I do know I'm stuck here until I either a) buy my way out of it (because they know they have us trapped) or b) work my own lifestyle through theirs (sustainability vs. what you and I have now).


Quote:

My spirit is aching me. It wants to be set free. I want to be free.




I have stopped (temporarily) using cannabis, and that has helped bring about some clarity in my life these past few days.  I remembered my form of meditation which I had never previously realized it as meditation, and am trying to reconnect with my mind and body through that.  I have greatly reduced the amounts of mushrooms, LSD, and salvia I am using, and probably won't be tripping near as much as I once was.  I am trying, just like so many others, to find my path in life so I can be free, not just feel free.  For true freedom comes from within, no matter what external forces are pressing against you.


Quote:

Anyone feel?




Do I feel?  I'm not always sure.  Do I feel what you're saying [right now]?  Yes, I do.


:hug:



I'm probably gonna stop smoking pot for a while, I dunno what to think though.


Quote:

CerebralFlower said:
Let go of everything you knew or felt. Exist in the present. Think about things that make your soul feel ached, and do the things that would set it free. Forget this mind and let go of your emotions



I don't know how to do this. I can't let go, I feel stuck.


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/19/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6456986 - 01/14/07 01:03 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

don't think, just act [be]


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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OfflineMrBuzin
Stranger
Male

Registered: 09/21/06
Posts: 432
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: My will is weak [Re: demiu5]
    #6457095 - 01/14/07 01:44 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I'm not trying to offend you, but ask yourself this, are you really just "are", just "being". Is that even possible? Is the human mind capable of just "being". I certainly don't feel capable of this. There's no now to grasp. there's no be to be. i'm probably just losing my marbles.


Edited by Syk0s3s (01/14/07 01:56 AM)


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/19/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium Flag
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6457129 - 01/14/07 01:57 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

no offense, ever

I'm not, no, but I try, and sometimes, rarely, I am. I believe that yes, it is possible. But, it's not all about the mind, it takes body and mind to accomplish.


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


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OfflineNewbieS
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Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 23,849
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Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6462705 - 01/15/07 05:30 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Set yourself up with challenging situations without thinking about it, then work through it. You'll find that when you accomplish something you didn't want to, or thought you couldn't, your will power increases a noticeable degree.


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OfflineMrBuzin
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Male

Registered: 09/21/06
Posts: 432
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6462997 - 01/15/07 06:39 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Thanks guys. I think I'm slowly finding my place but I'm not sure I just gotta stay strong and give myself time.

:heart: :mushroom2:


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Invisiblezorbman
blarrr
Male

Registered: 06/04/04
Posts: 5,952
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6463381 - 01/15/07 08:23 PM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Syk0s3s said:
Thanks guys. I think I'm slowly finding my place but I'm not sure I just gotta stay strong and give myself time.

:heart: :mushroom2:




Weak will? Exercise it. Whatever you put your energy into will grow stronger.

Get yourself a plan. And work that plan.

Think big. Take small steps along the way which are achievable. That way you won't get down by taking on too much but you will still see measurable progress which will give you hope.

Will and hope are two powerful forces to have in your arsenal. They can be yours if you only try and if you come up with a plan that inspires you. But you have to commit yourself and start the ball rolling. No one can do that for you.


--------------------
“The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought.”  -- Rudiger Dornbusch


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OfflineMrBuzin
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Male

Registered: 09/21/06
Posts: 432
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6464601 - 01/16/07 03:07 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

To tell you the truth nothing really inspires me. Everything seems meaningless and lost these days. I dunno. If I can't even inspire myself I guess I'm a lost cause.


Edited by Syk0s3s (01/16/07 03:37 AM)


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InvisibleShroomOmatic
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Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 2,373
Loc: Sailing the Seas of Chees...
Re: My will is weak [Re: MrBuzin]
    #6464619 - 01/16/07 03:20 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Keep yourself busy, it helps. I tried to deal with depression in destructive ways. I just keep myself busy and spend all my time with the woman that I love. I hope things go better for you Bro!


--------------------


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