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Nomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 21 years, 4 months
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Cards in a Hat
#624616 - 05/02/02 03:39 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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i appoligize if this is not the correct place to post this... if not move it where nessicary and right now i say fuck spelling... i dont care to work it out im sitting here tripping my words seem inaddiquit this world does not need halucinations it is perfect there is nothing more that i want but there is the colors intreage me the colors of the world the world that my mind percieves the world that doesnt seem to exist without me does it all center around me doesnt matter what must i do? my path must be found is this good for me? doesnt matter but does it? good? maybe there is no more that i require but there is what is missing? movement? then what is meditation? is it the drugs? active or inactive? action or contemplation? everything is universal simplified who? me no words can discribe me who am i? only i can say yet i cannot no colors are nessicary simplicity in the elaborate the delicatly patterned universe what is effecting me? is it what is in me? is this who i am supposed to be? if all boundrys were removed? my body is not immortal am i? maturity growth acceptance impatience more evolution is this who i am? questions aries why? are these questions to be answered? and who will answer them? me only i give me your answer ill work them into myself and relate the answer to myself yet still it is i who answers am i the only one who can answer? i think so my beliefs only beliefs nothing more what ive been taught what ive been told what ive been conditioned to believe they can grow i can grow what is it that i am doing? am i doing anything? is it relevant? should you care? do you exist? outside of myself? what am i? am i made of anything? is it my brain? is it my heart? does it matter? will i find out? WILL THESE QUESTIONS GET ANSWERED? how will they be answered? there seems to be no end to this to my struggle to my life when will it end? is there an end? was there a begining? can i define it? in my mind? make it happen just do it a commerical its meaning is broad i am ashamed it was a commerical but it still means something still has relevance action 'hacer' i think the spanish say to do 'estar' = 'ser' to be generalized more broad covering more ground the entire universe the infinte universe nothing would exist without me my perseption makes it true makes it relevant does a falling tree make a sound? does it matter? no without the perception it does not exist the waves of sound and light must be percieved without my perception they would not be relevant does the world revolve around me or do i revolve around the universe all of this makes sense but it is so confusing there is no more is this a suicide note? do i care? should i? i think i should final thoughts are they the end? or a beginning? or simply a step amonst the stairs is there an individual? are there others like me? are they like me? am i alone? i see them do they see me? these bodies these vesels holding me me do these bodies contain a 'me' are they separate from me i cannot yet percieve them they are not yet relevant i cannot feel them within me go away leave me alone walking away quitting not the right path not the right step in the path god does he exist i feel only me no outside influences no forces is he me? or is he simply within me? are we? no there is only me someday someday far away when i am grown grown beyond this current state ive come so far cant imagine any farther when where i am now will be the past will be a memory will it be good? plesant? time to move on time to find more time to act action is the way to live but contempation is the way to grow have i grown? yes
-------------------- i wish i could give out my thoughts let someone else feel them and experience who i am its difficult sometimes impossible always impossible? i hope not
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Nomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 21 years, 4 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#624617 - 05/02/02 03:42 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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i say dont talk to, just talk
-------------------- i wish i could give out my thoughts let someone else feel them and experience who i am its difficult sometimes impossible always impossible? i hope not
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Anonymous
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#624620 - 05/02/02 03:50 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 21 years, 4 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#624622 - 05/02/02 03:52 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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beautiful
-------------------- i wish i could give out my thoughts let someone else feel them and experience who i am its difficult sometimes impossible always impossible? i hope not
Edited by Nomez (05/02/02 03:53 AM)
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Anonymous
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#624625 - 05/02/02 03:57 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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are you hitting on me?
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Nomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 21 years, 4 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Anonymous]
#624631 - 05/02/02 04:08 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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"no enemies, no friends..."? only the respected all are respected sex? hmmm... irrelevant ...at least now
-------------------- i wish i could give out my thoughts let someone else feel them and experience who i am its difficult sometimes impossible always impossible? i hope not
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Anonymous
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#624634 - 05/02/02 04:12 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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*
Edited by Smack31 (05/02/02 04:18 AM)
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Nomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 21 years, 4 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Anonymous]
#624639 - 05/02/02 04:25 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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my words are the poor communication of my thoughts it seems that, at present, i am trying to communicate in the most clearly defined terms, with the right words, phrases words are as meaningful as sentances more so in some cases the ideas and thoughts associated with each word is astounding and forceful the use of these words... orgainzed in phrases... also forceful sometimes they almost perfectly convey the thoughts sometimes not i wish i could give out my thoughts let someone else feel them and experience who i am its difficult sometimes impossible
-------------------- i wish i could give out my thoughts let someone else feel them and experience who i am its difficult sometimes impossible always impossible? i hope not
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Nomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 21 years, 4 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#624640 - 05/02/02 04:26 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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always impossible? i hope not
-------------------- i wish i could give out my thoughts let someone else feel them and experience who i am its difficult sometimes impossible always impossible? i hope not
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JustFootsteps
newbie
Registered: 02/10/01
Posts: 31
Loc: a hill
Last seen: 21 years, 2 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#624643 - 05/02/02 04:32 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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trip rants! THAT'S what we've been missing around here. i LOVE a good trip rant. thanks for sharing your time in Reality with us!
-------------------- in peace, just footsteps http://www.whyvegan.org
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Tannis
ZoneTrooper
Registered: 12/13/01
Posts: 508
Loc: MD.USA
Last seen: 20 years, 6 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
#625590 - 05/03/02 09:35 AM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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I have been to the edge of the black nothing colors streaming behind me where have they all gone....???
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InDiCaToRgReEn
newbie
Registered: 05/02/02
Posts: 47
Last seen: 21 years, 2 months
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Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Tannis]
#625816 - 05/03/02 03:05 PM (21 years, 4 months ago) |
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it seems little of us here can relate to what your going through, but i can. You have realized that you may choose any perception you want and it wont matter, nothing matters for nothing is real. When you started your journey you thought you were doing the right thing but when you smashed yourself to pieces it was all still there, the insanity that is because you can't go back my friend, you your higher self, just a piece of the disk, has willed for you to be this way, you have willed this and you don't even remember because to exsist here we have to forget there ( afterlife ). Think of this place as a school for the afterlife, it is nothing more than that, the best thing you can do for yourself now is relax, have fun and enjoy the ride just like a shroom trip, for when you look back at this earthly experience it will seem much more purposful that way. By all means check this site out, it will explain alot, remember that killing yourself will solve nothing for there is nothing to solve, the word solve is merely a creation, a perception of the non exsistant so that we may find meaning in this illusion, still all i can do is hope that one day i will look back at this life and say boy i'm glad i'm back here, wherever that here may be. www.afterlifeknowledge.com peace>
-------------------- "oh to be a kid again, not a worry in the world except mybe the lack of bubbles in the bath tub"
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