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OfflineNomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
Cards in a Hat
    #624616 - 05/02/02 05:39 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

i appoligize if this is not the correct place to post this... if not move it where nessicary
and right now i say fuck spelling... i dont care to work it out

im sitting here tripping
my words seem inaddiquit
this world does not need halucinations
it is perfect
there is nothing more that i want
but there is

the colors intreage me
the colors of the world
the world that my mind percieves
the world that doesnt seem to exist without me
does it all center around me
doesnt matter

what must i do?
my path must be found
is this good for me?
doesnt matter
but does it?
good?
maybe

there is no more that i require
but there is
what is missing?
movement?
then what is meditation?
is it the drugs?
active or inactive?
action or contemplation?

everything is universal
simplified
who?
me
no words can discribe me
who am i?
only i can say
yet i cannot

no colors are nessicary
simplicity in the elaborate
the delicatly patterned universe
what is effecting me?
is it what is in me?
is this who i am supposed to be?
if all boundrys were removed?

my body is not immortal
am i?

maturity
growth
acceptance
impatience
more evolution
is this who i am?

questions aries
why?
are these questions to be answered?
and who will answer them?
me
only i
give me your answer
ill work them into myself
and relate the answer to myself
yet still it is i who answers
am i the only one who can answer?
i think so

my beliefs only beliefs
nothing more
what ive been taught
what ive been told
what ive been conditioned to believe
they can grow
i can grow

what is it that i am doing?
am i doing anything?
is it relevant?
should you care?
do you exist?
outside of myself?

what am i?
am i made of anything?
is it my brain?
is it my heart?
does it matter?
will i find out?

WILL THESE QUESTIONS GET ANSWERED?
how will they be answered?

there seems to be no end
to this
to my struggle
to my life
when will it end?
is there an end?
was there a begining?
can i define it?
in my mind?

make it happen
just do it
a commerical
its meaning is broad
i am ashamed it was a commerical
but it still means something
still has relevance
action
'hacer' i think the spanish say
to do
'estar' = 'ser'
to be
generalized
more broad
covering more ground
the entire universe
the infinte universe

nothing would exist without me
my perseption makes it true
makes it relevant
does a falling tree make a sound?
does it matter?
no
without the perception it does not exist
the waves of sound and light must be percieved
without my perception they would not be relevant
does the world revolve around me
or do i revolve around the universe

all of this makes sense
but it is so confusing

there is no more
is this a suicide note?
do i care?
should i?
i think i should
final thoughts
are they the end?
or a beginning?
or simply a step amonst the stairs

is there an individual?
are there others like me?
are they like me?
am i alone?
i see them
do they see me?
these bodies
these vesels
holding me
me
do these bodies contain a 'me'
are they separate from me
i cannot yet percieve them
they are not yet relevant
i cannot feel them
within me

go away
leave me alone
walking away
quitting
not the right path
not the right step in the path

god
does he exist
i feel only me
no outside influences
no forces
is he me?
or is he simply within me?
are we?
no
there is only me

someday
someday far away
when i am grown
grown beyond this current state
ive come so far
cant imagine any farther
when where i am now will be the past
will be a memory
will it be good?
plesant?

time to move on
time to find more
time to act
action is the way to live
but contempation is the way to grow

have i grown?
yes


--------------------
i wish i could give out my thoughts
let someone else feel them
and experience who i am
its difficult
sometimes impossible
always impossible?
i hope not


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OfflineNomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #624617 - 05/02/02 05:42 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

i say dont talk to, just talk


--------------------
i wish i could give out my thoughts
let someone else feel them
and experience who i am
its difficult
sometimes impossible
always impossible?
i hope not


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Anonymous

Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #624620 - 05/02/02 05:50 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)



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OfflineNomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #624622 - 05/02/02 05:52 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

beautiful


--------------------
i wish i could give out my thoughts
let someone else feel them
and experience who i am
its difficult
sometimes impossible
always impossible?
i hope not


Edited by Nomez (05/02/02 05:53 AM)


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Anonymous

Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #624625 - 05/02/02 05:57 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

are you hitting on me?


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OfflineNomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Anonymous]
    #624631 - 05/02/02 06:08 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

"no enemies, no friends..."?
only the respected
all are respected
sex?
hmmm...
irrelevant

...at least now :smile:


--------------------
i wish i could give out my thoughts
let someone else feel them
and experience who i am
its difficult
sometimes impossible
always impossible?
i hope not


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Anonymous

Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #624634 - 05/02/02 06:12 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

*


Edited by Anonymous (05/02/02 06:18 AM)


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OfflineNomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Anonymous]
    #624639 - 05/02/02 06:25 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

my words are the poor communication of my thoughts

it seems that, at present, i am trying to communicate in the most clearly defined terms, with the right words, phrases

words are as meaningful as sentances
more so in some cases
the ideas and thoughts associated with each word is astounding and forceful

the use of these words... orgainzed in phrases...
also forceful
sometimes they almost perfectly convey the thoughts
sometimes not

i wish i could give out my thoughts
let someone else feel them
and experience who i am
its difficult
sometimes impossible :frown:
 


--------------------
i wish i could give out my thoughts
let someone else feel them
and experience who i am
its difficult
sometimes impossible
always impossible?
i hope not


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineNomez
journeyman
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 71
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #624640 - 05/02/02 06:26 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

always impossible?
i hope not


--------------------
i wish i could give out my thoughts
let someone else feel them
and experience who i am
its difficult
sometimes impossible
always impossible?
i hope not


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OfflineJustFootsteps
newbie
Registered: 02/11/01
Posts: 31
Loc: a hill
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #624643 - 05/02/02 06:32 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

trip rants! THAT'S what we've been missing around here. i LOVE a good trip rant.

thanks for sharing your time in Reality with us!


--------------------
in peace,
just footsteps
http://www.whyvegan.org


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OfflineTannis
ZoneTrooper
Registered: 12/13/01
Posts: 508
Loc: MD.USA
Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Nomez]
    #625590 - 05/03/02 11:35 AM (15 years, 3 months ago)

I have been to the edge of the black nothing
colors streaming behind me
where have they all gone....???


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OfflineInDiCaToRgReEn
newbie
Registered: 05/02/02
Posts: 47
Last seen: 15 years, 1 month
Re: Cards in a Hat [Re: Tannis]
    #625816 - 05/03/02 05:05 PM (15 years, 3 months ago)

it seems little of us here can relate to what your going through, but i can. You have realized that you may choose any perception you want and it wont matter, nothing matters for nothing is real. When you started your journey you thought you were doing the right thing but when you smashed yourself to pieces it was all still there, the insanity that is because you can't go back my friend, you your higher self, just a piece of the disk, has willed for you to be this way, you have willed this and you don't even remember because to exsist here we have to forget there ( afterlife ). Think of this place as a school for the afterlife, it is nothing more than that, the best thing you can do for yourself now is relax, have fun and enjoy the ride just like a shroom trip, for when you look back at this earthly experience it will seem much more purposful that way. By all means check this site out, it will explain alot, remember that killing yourself will solve nothing for there is nothing to solve, the word solve is merely a creation, a perception of the non exsistant so that we may find meaning in this illusion, still all i can do is hope that one day i will look back at this life and say boy i'm glad i'm back here, wherever that here may be.

www.afterlifeknowledge.com

peace>


--------------------
"oh to be a kid again, not a worry in the world except mybe the lack of bubbles in the bath tub"


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