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Blue Mantis Registered: 05/28/04 Posts: 27,202 Loc: Iceland |
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This is a story about how I killed my guru.
HOW I KILLED MY GURU Chapter 1 "Time to understand something, bitch." The words exploded like gunshots, staggering Dan, shattering the serene environment of the Blue Lotus Lounge. Nearby, few patrons paid even minute attention to the squabbling beings so obviously clouded in a Durga of confusion. Isolate, they thought to themselves. Let the sweet cancer bloom in isolation. The being of deep metal and promethium spoke again, his voice lacerating Dan's eardrum like razorblades. "Until you’re serious about the Game, you can’t stop playing. It wouldn’t mean shit to Him if you dropped out of life now! To drop out means to walk the path of the renunciate! What do you have to renounce? No, before you can really make THAT sacrifice, you need to get serious about the here and now! Do you really think He would be much impressed if you showed up to the blissful palace bearing gifts of... what? What do you have anyways Dan? A shit degree and a drug habit? A Job working for the corporate whores!" For a moment Dan stood silently, his heart rent asunder by severe emotional pain, the feeble moorings of his mind set adrift in a deep space that was blue. The Metallic entity, meanwhile, stood stock still with eyes emotionless. In his heart he drank a deep draught of contempt. With his pestilent third eye, he could see the feeble spark of divinity quiver and shine sickly pink. Finally his face liquid like softening wax, and a smile crossed his face. "Listen Dan... I can help you" The timing, the false note of compassion was perfect, and Dan looked up like a cur dog given a scrap. "Just come to the meeting ... We can show you... such wonderful things. A real alternative! I can take you away from here! From these filthy LIARS! i can take you to where people still remember how to breathe. i can teach you how to Breathe." He reached into his pocket and handed the shaking young man his card. Maharjo Alimondas, the supreme Servant Of liquid Loam. For a terrible eternity he stared deep into Dan's eyes, slithering mentally into the innermost cockles of his brain, sucking on the soft spirit within. Finally, satisfied, he left the boy alone to his iniquities. For a long moment, Dan stood alone, a look of supreme misery on his face, tears welling in his eyes. Then, he stared at the card with just the right mix of awe and fragile hope. From the window, the metallic entity peeked sneakily in invisible, measuring the effect his psychic probe had had on the boys psyche. Satisfied that he had cracked The ego shell and deposited his directives, he grinned, and disappeared like vaporized steel. In the cafe, Dan turned to the counter, his face no longer pale, a boyish and exuberant grin upon his face. "Hey Tim! Serve me up a green tea and lotus late! And roll me a nice joint while you’re at it! Make it the urple-durple-widowberry this time, you understand?" Tim laughed, clear and crystal in the springtime. "that was perfect, Dan, perfect. You had that fucking robot eating out of your hand!" They shared a silent smile as Dan sipped his steaming beverage, feeling the potent elixir warm his mind and lubricate his spirit. "The fucker thinks I'm broken. I'll show up at the meeting and put on more of the same shit. They'll think I'm ripe for brainwashing. They have no idea that shit slides off my back like oil” "And from there, you can infiltrate easy. Get right up close to that sick son of a bitch. Learn who his friends are. Get access to his papers, his books, his computers" "And last but not least, torch the fucker and shed no tears" They raised glasses, toasting. Mellow music played from invisible speakers in thirty locations. Sweet fragrance filled the air, and around the Blue Lotus Lounge patrons unwound yet another notch, and the DJ began to spin... Chapter 2 Dan smiled softly, his heart alive with pallid phosphorous. He was dreaming, and drifting liquidly above the emerald canopy of Wildwood. Below him, healthy children played on well manicured lawns, or slid down big yellow slides, while happy couples walked dogs, or sat on patios sipping lemonade. The summer sun was warm but gentle, and Dan let it Warm his face, rejoicing. He knew that when he woke up, it would be a bitterly cold Winnipeg winter, but for now he enjoyed the transcendent awareness of sleep. He floated gently down to the ground, effortlessly manifesting a shining green mountain bike. He set off, speeding along the ground , drinking in the beauty, the sweet reminiscence of his childhood home. Soon he arrived at his front lawn. In the grass lay his sweet cat, Ruffles, purring with insane happiness. Dan knelt down and stroked his old friend's luxurious black fur. He savored this moment, knowing with a kind of melancholy disbelief that this cat, with whom he had grown up for fifteen beautiful years, was in reality long dead, cremated. But it was hard to believe that, now, when his hands were stroking that same healthy body, and his ears were savoring the deep and relaxing sound of his purr. Daniel stayed that way for an eternal moment, truly happy. And after a time, he awoke. A moment of confusion... fading fragments of dream... gently rising through the warm waters of sleep, breaking the surface softly... awakening to an awareness of soft brown fabrics and green plants. Glance for an alarm clock that is not there... a smile. Relaxation. Rolling around, tactile happiness of skin of sheets, head on pillow. Stretch, a deep pleasure in muscles, re-association with animal body. Masturbation... disjointed images of lust and copulation. Wetness... Rising into daylight. Throwing back the shutters, feeling the drifting rays of cosmic energy alight in the heart and brow. A brief but heartfelt prayer of gratitude. Indecision... memory! The plan... today was the day that Dan was scheduled to attend his first "initiation seminar" at the Ashram of his holiness, the Guru Maharjo Alimondas, known to Dan and his colleagues as "the metallic entity". Dan smiled, his ego alive with youth and schemefull joy. He savored the impending taste of victory, scenting the downfall of the metallic entity on the drifting airs of time. He dressed himself in earth brown and forest green, and scented himself with savory incense. Then he performed The Ancient Ritual, and smoke curled about his head. For the ten thousandth time he merged his brain in neuro-chemical coitus with his plant ally, The Green Dragon. He spoke with The Green Dragon as he had a billion times before. They greeted each other with respect and trust, and loved each other not a little. And the Green Dragon murmured his gentle wisdoms of relaxation. The Green Dragon was an intelligence older than civilization, and it knew no hurry or worry. It dwelt in a space of billowing light, and it dwelt in the souls of men which also billow with light, and so its words were soothing and soft. Full of this divine awareness, Dan stopped to energize his centers of energy, the Middle Pillar of his being infused with power and light. He Felt himself centered first in Divinity, the spark above the head. he pulled this crystal light down, through the centers of billowing purple, glowing yellow, crystal green and pulsing violet pink, and at last his mind rested at the lotus feet, the shimmering sphere of many colors. Then, he took a breath, and the energy split in two, running up both sides of his being, filling countless conduits, and unifying again at the top of the brow. Continuing his inhalation, the energy now pulsed this way and that , through the center and up the sides, and his whole egg shaped energy body was filled with buzzing power. Thus doing, Dan had loosened the position of his assemblage point considerably, and for the rest of the day he would be more easily able to detach it at will to correspond with his various activities in the various spheres of existence. For example, he now rested his mind on the crystal sphere at his solar plexus, which shone with a clear green light and was harder than diamond, the size of an orange usually, but now swollen to the size of a soccer ball as Dan centered his power on this energy sphere to prepare for his morning ritual of martial arts. From his speakers played Psy music, he stretched slowly to limber the Animal body and focused his awareness exclusively on his tactile stimuli. His head was empty; a place of black curtains and silence, but his body was infused with mind. After a long period of stretching and limbering, he changed the music with a thought. Now, energetic Breaks played, and he moved his body to the new rhythm. Thus he conducted the thousand postures and operations of his art, strengthening flexibility, balance, muscle and technique each in their turn. By so doing, he elevates his animal body with the infusion of his sacred awareness and loving attentions, making it nearly as responsive a vessel as his dream body. Sweating lightly, alive with endorphin pleasure, Dan now prepares The Sacred Elixir, whose ingredients are pure green tea, pure white tea, Crystallized Ginger and dried Blue Lotus. Taking with reverent thanks the earthen mug, Dan now sits Zazen upon the mat. Sitting thus, his mind naturally drifts to a place of restful quiet, and his breath provides a meditative rhythm. In this practice, there is no effort or exertion, no striving. In Zazen, Dan just sits, and occasionally he sips his tea. An immeasurable time passes and a pulse of intent arises from the still well of self and impels the animal body to rise. So doing, Dan has rested his intellect in a place of calm abiding, silencing its nonsensical rambling and preventing it from monopolizing on his spiritual energy throughout the day with undisciplined activity. The sun has now reached its Zenith, and Daniel has attended to the mandates of his Order by nurturing Body, Mind and Spirit each in there turn. Thus satisfied, he rides his animal body out into the clear cold air of day, his Brown sneakers treading out a soft rhythm as he heads to the Divine Spirit Ashram. As he walks, his mind is perpetually absorbed in the gnarling growth of trees, the clawing spiral of branches, bare and stark like skeletons, or frosted with crystal icings. His foot falls steadily as he passes over slick ice, and he leaps with glad heart over puddle and slush. The cuffs of his pants become wet and damp with snow stained grey from exhaust and pollution. In his heart, he is smiling, and communing with him. He passes by many people. Most of them wear faces frozen in hollowness, or hardened in defensiveness. How hard the line of the jaw, how straight the lips, how little do they laugh or speak! Most stare not even ahead, but down, down at the dirty grey slabs of pavement at their feet. Some clutch at bags or packages, or gaze with void spirit at the colorful things displayed behind windows. Many mutter perpetually to themselves, cursing and twisting their faces as they murder imaginary enemies or wage verbal battle with distant coworkers. Some of them walk just a little faster; hold their heads just a little higher, move with just a little more purpose. These ones are mostly high on caffeine, the men drink it in coffee, the women do too but they supplement also with purified pills. Other people rest against polls or lean against walls. Dan notes that these ones move with a little less hurry. Wonder of wonders! they actually stop to look about themselves, as if they have in fact noticed the majesty and mystery around them! But lo... what is this? each and every one has in its mouth a stick of smoldering white paper that emits a fume most foul and enticing. They are pausing to rest and let the nicotine seep soothingly through frazzled nerve and soak into tar coated capillaries. There quiet reverie and appreciation of life, alas, will last only as long as this cigarette, and then they will resume the frenzied scrabbling once more with renewed vigor. Dan passes on, treading now over a bridge which transverses a wide and swollen river frozen with ice and coated with snow. Dan notes that down there the snow has not become saturated with the exhaust and fumes of the city streets and it still shines most beautifully. A small path has been cleared in the middle to allow people on ice skates to slide by, singly or in pairs. Above, there is a break in the thick grey cloud and pure, radiant blue shines down, and white sunlight illuminates the snow, and it sparkles like crushed diamonds. And when Dan looks at these people, who pass by now and then, his heart is set to singing, for he sees that they are happy, they wear smiles upon their faces! and some of them hold hands, and trust one another, and they are enjoying each others company, and they are enjoying the function and health of their animal bodies, and some of them, lo and behold, are even filled with the spark of love, and the Small Pure Light in their hearts throbs appreciatively to be fed with such wholesome energy. Caught up now in this reverie, his mind awash with beauty and bliss, Dan feels as if his energy body has exploded outwards to form a pulsing halo of angelic wings, a psychedelic Dove Wing Fractal. From the center of this spiraling image, Dan emits his most fervent prayer, sending out waves of pure love and energy, and he whips his drunken monkey mind once, setting it into motion, and he makes it recite "may all beings everywhere know love and the source of love! May all beings everywhere know happiness and the source of happiness!" And these words float out into the world, empty, until he sends forth a current of emotion and intention and sets them ablaze, full now with radiant light and spirit where once was but dead and hollow vibration. Feeling his prayer radiate out to every soul on the planet, and beyond to the very frontiers of the material universe, Dan begins again his walk. He refrains now from his frequent practice of day dreaming, letting no complex phantasm occupy his attention. Rather he keeps it firmly focused on the glowing spark in his heart centre, for from here he will draw the energy that he will need in the coming confrontation. Indeed, even now he can see the bright glass front of the Divine Spirit Ashram. He allows himself one last smile before fixing his face in a look that no observer could distinguish from that of the mutterers and scowlers on the streets. Chapter 3 With an artistic show of shy trepidation and just the right dash of embarrassment, Dan threw open the door to the ashram, hearing the merry Ding of the alarm announcing his presence. A man, thin and gangly, stood up and approached with a great display of warm enthusiasm. "Hello there!” he says, from behind round spectacles, his Adam’s apple protruding sharp and obscene. "Welcome to the Divine spirit ashram! My name is Brian. How may I help you?" He puts forth his hand in greeting and Dan shakes it firmly, noting the extraordinarily limpness and clamminess of the man's grip. "Um.. Well" Dan rummages in his pockets to withdraw the small card that he was handed in the Blue Lotus Lounge "I am here for a meeting. 3 o’clock, in the Alpha room" The face of the man in the pressed white shirt and round glasses lights up with enthusiasm. "Ah yes you must be Dan! You’re scheduled for a free Alpha introductory session! You’re a bit early, but we might as well get started! Please, follow me right this way!" Brian leads Dan down a long hallway illuminated by loudly buzzing fluorescent lights. Everything is immaculately clean and no decoration or color is evidenced everywhere. Each door in the hallway is marked with a Greek numeral. They move backwards from Omega to rest at last before the first door, on which is posted a small pink notice that reads: "welcome, new comers! Please come inside for a free Alpha Course Introduction!" Brian opens the door and then holds it for Dan, closing it and locking it behind them. This room is small and perfectly square. It consists of one desk, behind which Brian seats himself. In front of the desk is a very comfortable looking armchair. It is brightly lit by a humming fluorescent light, and the only other content is a small silver desk lamp. "Please have a seat and we'll begin! Ok!" Brian extracts a single sheet of paper from a drawer in his desk and places it along with a small pencil, before Brian. "First we begin with a free personality test. Please take your time and fill it out" Dan reads the questionnaire. He expertly stifles his impulse to burst out laughing. Question 1: "do you ever feel sad?" Question 2: "do you ever have a hard time concentrating?" Question 3: "do you ever have recurring angry thoughts or feelings?" Question 4: "do you ever feel impatient or stressed when going about your day?" There were fifty similar questions. Beside each question were two boxes, one marked yes and one marked no. Playing along, Dan dutifully filled out yes for each question, then, shamefacedly slid the sheet back to Brian, whose eyes had not left Dan's face as he wrote. Brian took the paper, adjusted his spectacles, and began reading. Dan inwardly grinned as he watched Brian’s charade of becoming increasingly concerned. At last he set down the paper and looked across at Dan with all the gentle compassion of a loving father addressing the prodigal son. "Well Dan, according to our system, this shows that you are struggling with some very serious negative patterns.” Brian withdrew a laminated plastic pie graph from his desk and pointed with his finger to a small section that was colored bright red. It was labeled "very high risk” "This indicates that you are at a very high risk of succumbing to your negative energy patterns. This could have any number of consequences, weakened immune system, sickness, fatigue... even death" He paused, letting the gravity of his statement sink in Then: "and that’s not all Dan." he took a deep breath "this is very hard for me to say... but according to The Perfect Doctrines, if someone dies when conditioned by this degree of negative patterning... well... lets just say: things only get worse at death" Dan waited, shocked. This was even worse than he had been warned to expect! "You mean... hell?" Brian smiled, drinking in Dan's show of gullible anxiety. "Worse." He let the word hang in the air, then "but don’t worry! at the Divine Spirit Ashram we offer a simple graded program that is 100% guaranteed to cure you of all your negative energy patterns and conditionings. And once we do that, you’ll be healthier, happier and more engaged than you’ve ever been before! and what’s more, once you complete all 26 levels of our program, you will have refined your energy body to such a degree, that you will be able to go directly to the twelfth level of divine ecstasy upon death. This is our promise, and we offer a 100% money back guarantee that you will be satisfied. In fact, if you complete all 26 levels and are not fully satisfied, well pay you TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS! That’s how sure we are that you can attain perfect mastery by following our methods. And what’s more, the first five levels are free of charge, with the rest cost based at an affordable escalating scale! Here, take this home!" Brian hurriedly reached into his desk, extracting a veritable pile of colorful pamphlets and brochures, all of which he passed across to Dan who dutifully pocketed them. "Now… I know this is all a lot to take in. Don’t make any decisions yet! Remember, at divine Spirit Ashram we don’t pressure you! We’re your friends, and were here to help you when and at whatever pace you like! So listen, we don’t normally do this, but I am so excited to see you begin your new life of perfect mastery, that I am going to take you right now and let you have an immediate, one on one Beta Course Session! Please, follow me this way!" Without waiting for a response, Brian hurried out of the room and Dan had no choice but to follow. In a moment they were through the adjacent door marked beta and Dan was again seated in a very comfortable arm chair, this time facing not a desk but a large projector screen. Brian was sitting behind Dan in a small plastic chair in one corner of the room. The door opened again and an attractive blond woman walked in, all smiles. "Here you go, Danny" she smiled, handing him a cold can of Coca Cola "you don't mind if I call you Danny, do you?" she asked. Without waiting for a response she left the room, closing and locking the door behind her. The lights went out, and soft, soothing music began to play from unseen speakers. After a moment, the projector whirred to life, and the wall became alive with flowing liquid pastel colors that pulsed to the sound of the entrancing, wordless music. Brian spoke, quietly and softly, from the corner of the room "just relax and watch the screen" Dan did as he was told. After perhaps five minutes of watching the flowing, hypnotic colors and gentle music, a soft feminine voice began to speak. It spoke gentle, ambiguous words of peace and happiness. It made many soft promises. As it spoke, the pulsing colors began to coalesce into images. Smiling faces... a yogi meditating... a flower blooming... the yin yang symbol... Jesus Christ smiling, illuminated by a halo. "You are a perfect being of love. But you have forgotten it. All your life, you have been filled with negative energy patterns. The media... the government... religion... all of these things are trying to take away your perfect mastery and happiness. But at Divine Spirit Ashram, we have the answers you’ve been seeking..." A sunrise. Beautiful women in bikinis running down a beach. A grey haired man in a Ferrari wearing sunglasses smiling a perfect smile and speeding down a free way. The voice continued "Now you understand that there IS hope... and were here to help you, Every step of the way" The music stopped and the images faded. On the screen all that remained were the words "Divine Spirit 26 step program" and a yin yang emblem. The lights came on. Dan remained seated, waiting. After a moment he stood, looking at Brian, who stood too, a huge smile on his face. "Welcome to the Divine Light, Brother" he said. He wordlessly pressed a clipboard into Dan's hand. On the clipboard was a single sheet of paper on which was written "I am ready to begin my life of perfect happiness and mastery". Below this was a dotted signature line. Dan signed it, using the same fake last name he had used to introduce himself to the metallic Entity. Brian Grinned. "I think your going to be very, very happy with us Daniel". "Oh, I just know I will Brian. I just know it" "Please... call me brother" Chapter 4 For the next six months, Daniel practically lived at the Divine Spirit Ashram. Every day after school, he would dutifully head over to his brainwash classes. Each day he would absorb perhaps an hour of "positive pattern conditioning" which like the Beta Course consisted mostly of soothing images and softly spoken, ambiguous words. After the Epsilon Course, This was followed by an hour long affirmation session during which Dan sat down with a handful of other aspirants to chant again and again "I align myself with the holy energies of the Guru Maharjo Alimondas" . As was his methodology, Daniel devoted himself with impressive gusto to any metaphysical exercise set before him. As he intended, it was not long before he was looked upon as a role model to his fellow students and a star pupil to his ever present monitors. Each session that Daniel attended was followed by a "mandatory donation" that began as five dollars a session, and then climbed to ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five. The money was not a problem for Dan, as he was well bank rolled by his Order. At last, after completing the twentieth session, Dan was approached once again by the beautiful blonde who had brought him the coke. He had not seen her since his first introductory session. "Hi Danny" she breathed. "I have great news! The Guru Maharjo Alimondas has been monitoring your progress , and he is very pleased. He has no doubt that you will attain perfect happiness and mastery. For that reason, he has offered you the special privilege of meeting him face to face to conduct your final six sessions!" Dan did not have to pretend to be thrilled. He had been waiting for this moment every second of his long and tedious indoctrination process. He was scheduled to begin the "liberation" phase of his process tomorrow morning. His final six sessions, each one hour long, would run consecutively, he was told, beginning at 7 am. During this phase, he was assured; the Guru would complete his positive pattern conditioning and say the sacred mantra that would liberate him to total mastery and happiness. The morning of his liberation, was locked in dream. He had been standing upon a platform that was being pulled, slowly, by two horses that loomed huge above him, there hoof falls thundering. The sky overhead had been seething with roiling clouds and electricity, and a sense of great ill omen choked everything. Dan stood tall and looked out across the barren and blasted expanse. In the far distance, he could make out a dark figure full of malevolence. He thought he could see two tiny pinpricks of light, and felt the gaze of these eyes probing him with evil curiosity. The attention of the distant entity touched him like wet eel on the back of the spine. With a total certainty, Dan knew that the leering entity was the dream body of the Metallic Entity. It had smelt his vibrations approaching and now it sought to steal the secrets of his mission from his mind. Just a moment later and it would Know, and all his careful infiltration would be for naught. He began to perform the Emergency Maneuver, a technique he had not needed to employ since the very earliest days of his Dream Practice. He was shocked to feel himself fettered by a resisting energy. The Metallic Entity was more powerful than he had thought! Its attention had him snagged by the solar plexus and sucked at him like the tentacles of an octopus. He began to feel a ripping, a tearing in his gut and a sharp pain. Fear clouded his mind, and then gave way to anger, which in turn shaped his intent into a white hot iron lance which he rammed into the energetic presence of the metallic entity with all the force he could muster. A sound like a sharp hiss and the sucking tendrils loosen. Dan blasts up out of the ocean of dream like a whale breaching, and jolts awake, sweat pouring from his brow and soaking his sheets. Today is the Day. Chapter 5 After performing the Ancient Ritual and completing his martial practice, and having stilled his mind in Zazen, Dan sets out once more on his frosty morning walk. Today he drank an extra draught of the Sacred Elixir, and the spirit of the blue lotus and the Green Dragon mingled in him, whispering in cannon their words of comfort. When he entered the Ashram, he was greeted not by Brian, but by the Metallic Entity Himself. The being gleamed and exuded a palpable sense of hardness. Dan noted with some concern that the Spark in it's heart was very, very bright and refined to an almost painful intensity. The being was powerful, closely connected to the Source of All. But Daniel noted also that the light that emitted from that spark passed through many layers of dark and mottled Ego, and when at last the glow of divinity emitted forth it was tainted with a reek of corruption and foulness. All those who absorbed it did indeed feel some of the bliss that always touches those in the presence of an Ascended being, but this bliss was tainting, addicting. It boosted one only when one was kneeled in devotion before the guru, as soon as his affection was withdrawn, one felt empty, hollow, afraid, cut adrift. It was by way of this palpable power, combined with a sinister and compassionless intelligence that allowed the Metallic Entity to hold sway over his hundreds of devoted followers. By feeding upon their energy, the entity made itself very powerful. Gazing at the metallic entity with his third eye, Dan could see that the beings power center, its solar plexus sphere, Crackled as if full of lightning, swollen massively. The sexual and survival centers were equally gorged near to bursting, but the higher centers, those of love, compassion , transcendent experience and devotional adoration were withered and choked, maintaining only nascent life in the form of a small, flickering spark. The being looked deep into Dan's eyes and he felt a coldness grip him as those endless wells struggled to slither once more into the sphincter of his mind. Dan grinned, offering no resistance. He watched with satisfaction as a look of perplexity crossed the guru's face as he tried to understand the source of the difficulty. Dan knew. The Guru's probe had been confounded by the liquefying presence of the Green Dragon. The metallic being's mind floundered in that soft sea like a man trying to stand on a wave. After a moment, the probe receded. The metallic entity spoke, and its voice had softness, but it was the softness of a burglar’s footfall, not the softness of a mother's touch. The voice had happiness, but it was the happiness of a man with a full stomach in the midst of the starving. The voice spoke words, and they were simply: "follow me" The Entity brought Daniel directly to the room marked omega. He led him in and seated him for the twenty first time upon a comfortable armchair. Then he sat in another armchair directly opposite, and for a long, long time, he gazed directly into Daniels eyes, unflinching, smiling a shit-eating smile. For many minutes Dan effortlessly held the Guru's gaze. For many minutes more, he did this with great difficulty. At last, his eyes fell, and his spirits with them. At precisely the same instant, the Metallic Entity's smile widened, and it began to speak. "Daniel, you are my beloved child. Long have you labored righteously in the tasks of enlightenment, and truly you are all but free of your negative pattern conditioning. Only one last step is required. Your mind has now been made a place of clarity. All iniquitous lies are cast out. It is a clean place, and holy, but it is empty. This is a good thing! for only that which is empty may be filled, and only ears that are open shall here. Here you then this! If you now, in this moment, proclaim your total devotion to me, I shall bestow upon you the Ultimate secret of GOD and deliver unto you life eternal and perfect happiness and mastery. What say you, beloved child?" Dan paused, eyes on the floor. He knew that this was the critical step. This is what all his plans and efforts had led up to. What he said and did now would determine his fate, and indeed he knew his very soul stood in the balance. If he proclaimed his devotion, he was lost, the critical moment would pass and his plans would fail. His energy would be sucked out of him and he would be just another thrall of the metallic entity, his soul freely given and greedily received. If, on the other hand, he rose up with strong words and cutting logic and reason, and if he waged a battle of ideas and of thoughts and of tongues, he might pick apart the Metallic entities carefully constructed silver snares. He might, by the power of his intellect, overpower the lies of the deceiver and force him into the involuntary admission of his fraudulence. And this would be a triumph, and his ego would rejoice and be swollen with self importance, and in that moment he would drink the power of the Metallic Entity even as it had sought to drink his, and in that instant there places would reverse, and he would become another tyrant and the entity his slave, and then he would fall from awareness of him. And so it was with utmost care that Dan silenced first his tongue, and then his mind, and turned his awareness instead to the small, soft, glowing sphere in his heart. And looking there with quiet patience he saw at last that which he sought, and gazing for a moment upon the face of his divinity, he filled himself with a soft warmth. And raising his eyes, he looked now steadily and with compassion upon the being before him. And where once he had seen a thing of silver and steel, a thing of spinning gears and reaping hooks, a thing that devoured and belched smoke, he saw no longer any metallic entity. He saw before him a small, frail man with whitening hair and a tiny bald spot atop his crown. And looking deeper, he saw the many walls and weapons that had been hoarded inside that body. And looking past even this, he saw beneath the tiny core of soft, feeling, fearful humanity that had so long ago walled itself off from the heart center. And he saw then the emptiness, the decay, the pain that was eating away at this man so deep within that he could not even acknowledge it to himself in the quiet moments all alone. And then, for a moment, all this faded away like the illusion it was, and all that remained was soul gazing at soul, Self gazing at Self. And in that moment, the Guru Maharjo Alimondas Gasped, for he had felt a soft touching on the core of his being, and nothing had penetrated there for many decades. And thus touched, he softened, if only for a moment, and Daniel saw then his moment and took it, trusting in the Holy Spirit to speak through him. And he said: "Brother... truly do I see you and truly do I love you. For many lifetimes have I pursued you. With a million voices I have called your name. Across countless eternities I have sought you, and everywhere you have eluded me. When I spoke to you, you blocked your ears, or twisted what I said to your purposes. Whenever I gave you my love, you drank it all down greedily and gave back only contempt. That which I gave you for your liberation, you have used for your enslavement, and you have used even my own love against me in the deception of my children. Long ago did you block me off, and long have you starved in silence. But now I have found you, and truly, you are set free" Dan had risen to his feet slowly as he spoke, and he towered now over the smaller, sitting man. The metallic being was gone. Now tears welled in the eyes of the Organic being, and when Daniel moved towards him he flinched, as if expecting to be kicked. But Daniel only reached closer and enclosed the man in a warm, gentle hug. He held him thus until he felt the man's tension relax, and his welling tears turn to choking sobs. They remained this way for an unmeasured time, and then at last withdrew from each other. Dan stood, and strode to the door. He turned back and looked into the eyes of the Organic Being. Self gazed upon self, and with his inward eye Dan watched as the energy long dammed in the swollen center of material and egocentric power flowed at last into the atrophied conduits leading to the higher realms love, transcendent wisdom and devotional adoration, until at last the divine spark at the top of the head was ignited and the Organic Being's soul was catapulted out of his Animal Body and into the Whirling Ethereum beyond. At this exact moment the Guru's Cardiac system, long abused by gluttonous eating, smoking and cocaine use, at last failed spectacularly, wracking the Guru's vacant body with horribly violent spasms. Dan gazed for a moment at the entity of pure light that hovered above the voided body, and he remained there watching it until the minions of the most high came to carry it away to the place of healing. Then, with a deep sigh of relief, Daniel retrieved the small personal computer from the pocket of the corpse cooling on the ground, pocketed it, bowed slightly, and set off for the Blue Lotus Cafe.
Edited by Moonshoe (11/02/17 04:49 PM)
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Sexy.Butt.McDanger Registered: 03/12/02 Posts: 24,855 Loc: Pandurn Last seen: 1 year, 1 month |
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Interesting read; well worth it.
-------------------- If I should die this very moment I wouldn't fear For I've never known completeness Like being here Wrapped in the warmth of you Loving every breath of you
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HallucinogenusDi Registered: 07/12/05 Posts: 3,222 Last seen: 14 years, 3 months |
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Unusual.
Very decisive context. Self righteously destructive spiritually. In a good way. Intelligent. -------------------- Know your self. Know your substance. Know your source. The most distorted perspective possible is the perspective that yours is not distorted.
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Curious Observer Registered: 08/20/05 Posts: 527 |
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It was an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing friend.
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Crime FightingMa ![]() Registered: 02/09/05 Posts: 2,033 Loc: The Netherlands Last seen: 12 years, 3 months |
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Very tasteful writing style, I was engaged in every chapter.
One thing that cracked me up though, is how you described the passer-bys in the street pepped up on caffeine and then Dan (you, pseudonym?) constantly sipping his green, white, ginseng tea mix. White tea will jack you up more than a good cup of joe!
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mere reflections Registered: 10/25/06 Posts: 4 Last seen: 16 years, 9 months |
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If you use many words to destroy the potentia of reality, then are you yourself not trying to become our guru?
Paganbuddha
-------------------- Breathe, breathe in the air, don't be afraid to care.... -pinkfloyd http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Clu
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Its just me Registered: 10/29/04 Posts: 1,188 Loc: Norway, Eidsvoll Last seen: 14 years, 5 months |
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Quote: Word. -------------------- The argent messenger of truth beyond truth, the antithesis of life, cruel and bleak as interstellar space, pulseless and frozen as absolute zero, dazzling with the frost of irrefragable logic and unforgettable fact. ![]()
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Visual Alchemist Registered: 04/27/06 Posts: 11,181 Loc: Solar Circuit |
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some teachings require a trickle of hypocrisy, but only for the moment of learning.
--------------------
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Blue Mantis Registered: 05/28/04 Posts: 27,202 Loc: Iceland |
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Very glad you guys enjoyed. I think everyone got a different message out of this, which is awesome.
quick responses: no im not trying to become anyones Guru. One of the main themes of this story (for me writing it, anyways) was a rejection of the student-Master spiritual framework in favor of one that is totally personalized and liberated. Also i should clarify: i dont have any big criticism of coffee drinkers. But as for white tea "jacking you up more than a good cup of joe" white tea has 15 mg of caffeine per cup, Coffee has 60-120 mg per cup. http://coffeetea.about.com/libra But this is mostly irrelevant. Thank you all for taking the time to read.
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