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Offlineemilbus
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Its Just Not The Same
    #6181491 - 10/18/06 09:44 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

about 5 years ago i use to be the biggest pot head. i smoked the best of the best, i could out smoke anyone, i did everything while i was high, and if i didn't smoke i was in a bad mood. now when i try to smoke i feel this crazy anxiety come on. i start thinking about all these thoughts, i start thinking about all my flaws and whats wrong with me. then i start thinking about the people I'm with and how they really don't like me or some bull shit. in person when I'm not high i can hold a conversation, have fun, and just bull shit around. when I'm high now i cant hold a conversation. some one will talk to me and i will just sit there. to some one else it might seem like I'm fucking retarded, its just that while there talking to me i have a million thoughts running through my head about the most random shit. some of the shit i think about freaks me out because I'm like what if its true. i seem to get real nervous and i cant function. what the hell is wrong with me? did i just fuck my head up from all the drugs in the past and the only time i truly see how retarded i am is when I'm high or what? Ive heard of people only having anxiety attacks while their high, is this whats happening to me? does anyone have a link that might be able to help? i really want to start smoking again because it was the only thing that could calm my ass down. i have ADHD and use to take Ritalin until i found bud.


--------------------


You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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OfflineVampireSlayer
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181502 - 10/18/06 09:49 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

what i think is, when i'm thinking those thoughts when i'm high, about how people don't really like me and my flaws ect ect, then they probably don't like me and i probably do have those flaws. I feel like cannabis reveals the truth about everything.


--------------------
I Don't come to fight flesh and blood but spiritual wickedness in high and low places


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Offlineemilbus
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: VampireSlayer]
    #6181510 - 10/18/06 09:54 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

so then by that logic i am truly mentaly retarded and people only talk to me out of pitty and my g/f doesnt really love/like me, she just feels sorry for me.


--------------------


You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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Invisiblekaniz
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181516 - 10/18/06 09:57 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Could just be the strain of weed? Generally speaking - I'm pretty easy going on weed, but a few weeeks ago I had some stuff, which for the first time ever gave me a 'bad trip' with weed. Paranoia, anxiety, I'd just feel looped out.

Bit after that, got a different batch - and was fine.

However, not everyone 'takes' to weed, my BF will rarely ever smoke as he will start having the same issues that you are having - paranoid, starts dwelling on himself, whats going wrong, etc and doesnt like it. Either try a different strain of weed - or find something else to calm you down.


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Offlineriby
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181528 - 10/18/06 10:08 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

its fall, the past two tear i got a similar anxiety as to what you describe, however last year i was getting over a had trip, and thought that had to do with it, well partially. but i think people act crazy in the fall. if you dint think you can function while high then just give it a break, its just pot, smoke it while alone when you just want to chill out and not talk when you want to be alone. but try to avoid being alone just to get high hehe, its a fine line :P.

a lot of these problems are created by you, that isn't to say that they are easy to over come, but you just might have to really try. im like you to i can get real hung up things, its just that with that though mentality you need to be able to say 'fuck it and fuck off, im doing what i want you are the only one who gets to be yourself and you deny yourself because you are afraid that you might offend them. be the best self you can be and be honest about how you feel with these people that sometimes helps. pay attention to the good things man its easy to find truths in insecurities but if you look harder you'll notice that people really do like you for some reason.

but i mean why not take a break from pot, what would be the harm?


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Offlineemilbus
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: riby]
    #6181554 - 10/18/06 10:20 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

well i haven't smoked for over 6 months now. after i started noticing this anxiety thing i did only smoke by myself and it was great. i would throw in a movie, drink a few beers and just smoke. i loved it and i was fine. then i would try smoking around people and on comes the anxiety. the other day i was talking to my chick and she says that she misses me getting high with her. i was her favorite smoking buddy, she says. after hearing that i know its just all in my head, but i cant stand it. its not fun at all, it really is a bad trip. about smoking better bud, I'm not trying to spend that much to get high. id rather spend 20.00 for a half then 10.00 for a gram of real good shit. besides, i use to live in Washington state and i dated this chick who's dad grew the dankest bud. i had brought a little bit of bud back with me to Texas and went to a party the night i got back right. well all my friends were use to smoking "KB" and "hydro" at the time so i was like here, smoke this and tell me what you think. i loaded one bowl for the 4 of us and after it going around twice everyone was like "nah man, i cant smoke anymore". one of the guys that was in the circle was kinda younger, i really didn't know him. he kept starring at my shirt and i asked him what is problem was and he was all, "thats a bad ass picture on your shirt". the funny thing is that it was one of those shirts that says shit. no pictures. LMAO.


--------------------


You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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Offlineroyer
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181578 - 10/18/06 10:31 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

i smoked killer stuff for 10 years straight blunts and bowls all day long from morning till night . KB hydro beasters nl.. you name it

and i quit 3 years ago when i got married.

the other day my wife said lets smoke.

i was like??

well i have like a 3 oz stash of hydro in my safe from last winter when i bought a hydro setup.

so i smoked

i was so paranoid it was like i was a crack head.
i would not go out side because i thought people were looking at me funny and i didn't like it at all.


kind of weird


--------------------
=================================================
if you have any questions please feel free to pm me , thx :-)


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Offlinetwistedninja
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181579 - 10/18/06 10:31 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I had a batch of schwag that was just pure shit and would give me a headache and alot of anxiety. Threw that shit out smoked some good shit and everything was right again. I know what you mean I like to smoke alot and the good shit costs too damn much to smoke everyday so I smoke the cheap shit during the week and good shit on weekends.


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Offlineemilbus
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: twistedninja]
    #6181632 - 10/18/06 10:56 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

you guys think it might be the bud that i smoke? i do live in south Texas so are cheap shit is Mexican dirt bud. real seedy and lots of stems. most of the time it will be pretty dry as well. something i did notice that i forgot to mention is when i did start to smoke again and i started to get those panic attacks or whatever. i would wake up first thing in the morning and smoke like 3-4 bowls by myself and just chill. after that high went away from those 3-4 bowls, lets say an hour or two later, i could smoke again with people and be fine. as long as i got that first high, that first bad trip out of the way i would be fine. what the fuck was that? that only lasted for about a month because the attacks would get so bad and it wasn't even worth it half the time.


--------------------


You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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OfflineVampireSlayer
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181661 - 10/18/06 11:02 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

emilbus said:
so then by that logic i am truly mentaly retarded and people only talk to me out of pitty and my g/f doesnt really love/like me, she just feels sorry for me.




I don't think you're truly mentaly retarded you seem to be able to write pretty well. I have never had negative thoughts on weed before because I try to look at things positively. If i'm having negative thoughts while i'm on weed I usually look at my life and find out why I'm having those thoughts.


--------------------
I Don't come to fight flesh and blood but spiritual wickedness in high and low places


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OfflineNewbieS
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181673 - 10/18/06 11:07 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I'm going to tell you what I tell at least one person on here a week when they post about being anxious on weed:

When the anxiety starts building, remember why you smoked in the first place.  It's a happy weed.  You're used to it now so you're getting really introspective instead of just riding the buzz.  Immediately divert your attention to something else.  It's just the weed man, I've been there and this is my solution.  Being high=being happy.  :laugh:


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OfflineLion
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181674 - 10/18/06 11:07 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Maybe the weed is telling you something. It's trying to show you where you have psychic energy tied up. The flaws you are perceiving while high are illusions - but they are flaws that some part of you believes you have, and that part comes out when you smoke. I personally think getting symptoms like this from weed are part of a spiritual emergence, but that's your path to take, so I'll just leave it at that. The most important thing I think is to listen very carefully to your inner dialogue. Why are you thinking negative thoughts? Can you trace them to a deeper source? If it's too overwhelming, stop smoking for awhile. Or smoke only in environments that are supportive of you and conducive to relaxation. Maybe try meditating, drumming, breathing exercise, things like that to loosen yourself up. You won't find the answer in anything you read here - but rest assured that you are not alone, this is revealing of ego-attachments is fundamental to cannabis, and it can be painful as it's happening.


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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Offlineemilbus
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: Lion]
    #6181711 - 10/18/06 11:19 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

thanks everyone, these are some great replies. i thought after posting i was going to get flammed and get some pretty dumb answers. i think the main thing i think about when i get high is my relationship with my girlfriend. i tend to think about all the negative shit and i see how big of an ass hole i am and how im fucking things up. i guess i just need to sit down, get high, work through these problems, fix them, then everything should be cool. before i can truley enjoy the bud i have to fix my problems in life. another thing that fucks with me is everyone i hang out with still smokes, a lot. they sit around and smoke 4-5 blunts in one sitting and be cool and just hang out. if i were to do that i would probably freak out outloud instead of in my head. thanks for all the replies.


--------------------


You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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InvisiblethatiAM
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181741 - 10/18/06 11:31 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

What bug said. No better time to surrender to life than when it's hardest.


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Offlinetwistedninja
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181744 - 10/18/06 11:31 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Good luck. Yea it sounds like you have alot of personal issues to work through and you know that. The effects and paranoia you are talking about sounds like I used to be when I was doing coke. For the reason of the super anxiety feeling I will not touch that stuff anymore.


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Offlineblindvomit
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6181800 - 10/18/06 11:47 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Sounds to me like you're just thinking too much. One of my friends goes on trips occasionally on how he feels the world is neglecting him, every time he says that we discuss it with him for a little and end up telling him that he's thinking about it too much, after he realizes this he just says "Ooooooh yeah!......" then we just smoke more and chill. Point is, it's all in your head man, if you're feeling some anxiety and feel like there is something wrong with you, there's something wrong with all of us, just stop thinking about it and start concentrating on what's going on around you, conversations, friends expressions, music, anything, just go with the flow...


Edited by blindvomit (10/18/06 11:49 AM)


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6182425 - 10/18/06 02:23 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

emilbus said:
about 5 years ago i use to be the biggest pot head. i smoked the best of the best, i could out smoke anyone, i did everything while i was high, and if i didn't smoke i was in a bad mood. now when i try to smoke i feel this crazy anxiety come on. i start thinking about all these thoughts, i start thinking about all my flaws and whats wrong with me. then i start thinking about the people I'm with and how they really don't like me or some bull shit. in person when I'm not high i can hold a conversation, have fun, and just bull shit around. when I'm high now i cant hold a conversation. some one will talk to me and i will just sit there. to some one else it might seem like I'm fucking retarded, its just that while there talking to me i have a million thoughts running through my head about the most random shit. some of the shit i think about freaks me out because I'm like what if its true. i seem to get real nervous and i cant function. what the hell is wrong with me? did i just fuck my head up from all the drugs in the past and the only time i truly see how retarded i am is when I'm high or what? Ive heard of people only having anxiety attacks while their high, is this whats happening to me? does anyone have a link that might be able to help? i really want to start smoking again because it was the only thing that could calm my ass down. i have ADHD and use to take Ritalin until i found bud.




whoa... to be honest, the fact that it took you 5 years to finaly get to this point confuses me.

You're just tripping out, its what weed does to alot of people.  Hell, I used to get that anxiety and crappy feelings after a few months of smoking.  I took a 5 month break like 4 years ago and eased back into it.  Before that I hated the high and it was like a bad trip.  I would honestly get butterflies in my stomach before blazing.  But It passes... trust me.  Weed is weed its fukin simply.  The harder psychedelics are the ones that do it for me now  :cool:

Although I will say this: when Im stoned I cant socialize for shit.  :thumbdown:

But yea... you're just in the "tripping" out phase of weed.  Some people never get passed it thats why they quit, or never get into it.  It's nothing.  Just stop thinking about yourself all the time, and remember you're not the centre of the universe.  :thumbup:


--------------------
Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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Offlineemilbus
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: Ginseng1]
    #6182460 - 10/18/06 02:31 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

it didnt take my 5 years to figure this out. 5 years ago i smoked all the time. i then had to quit for a year because of probation, then started smoking again about 2 years ago for a few months and thats when it keep coming on. since then i have not smoked. well not a lot anyway. i will smoke when im really fucked up on other shit and by then it doesnt really matter.


--------------------


You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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Offlineemilbus
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6182474 - 10/18/06 02:34 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

just a thought, but what if i were to buy an oz and just smoke that whole thing to myself by myself and after that i should be good right? just deal with all that shit through that oz. i guess im making a big deal cause i really want to start smoking again but that bad trip can be a huge pain.


--------------------


You look down at me and you see a fool
You look up at me and you see a god
You look straight at me and you see yourself


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Offlineevolprim
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Re: Its Just Not The Same [Re: emilbus]
    #6182503 - 10/18/06 02:47 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

heres whati think. put weed out of the picture for a bit. ive learned that some problems need to be sorted out sober. the shit you are thinking of while on weed is an exaggeration of how you really feel when you are sober. for instance subconciously while you are sober you may pick up on bad things you do to your girlfriend, and it ALL comes out when you smoke.

so take a break from it for a bit, relax, listen to some alan watts (still the mind) , meditate, think about the ROOT of the thoughts you are having (thoughts themselves often mean SHIT, but they do stem from very important roots). after you feel more relaxed, go into smoking with an open mindset. remind yourself that you used to have a great time smoking, and light one up. go lightly until you get used to it again, and then eventually ease back into being everyones favorite stoner :-)


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