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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Offlineelaspeinreason
psychonaut
Male

Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 1,029
Loc: fairfax virginia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
please help ..i really dont know
    #6158778 - 10/11/06 05:12 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

i dont get life anymore..
i thought i understood , its ever changing.
she left me a minute ago
this is the first place i turned.


if i dont get help
i might hurt myself
i justify it as no one cares , and selfishly maybe they will understand now...


are you happy , look what i am now.


--------------------
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one

Diploid said:
What's with proclaiming freedom by abridging freedom? That makes no sense.


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Offlineelaspeinreason
psychonaut
Male

Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 1,029
Loc: fairfax virginia
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158787 - 10/11/06 05:13 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

i gave her the world.. really i gave her what i could.
my world.
if it wasnt good enough for her , then what now.
sex is fucking bastard shit, and i could care less
i knew this was coming , i "felt" it ..and now shes free and what am i...
dead


--------------------
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one

Diploid said:
What's with proclaiming freedom by abridging freedom? That makes no sense.


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OfflineMr_Spliff
Dreamer
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Registered: 12/01/05
Posts: 224
Loc: Undesclosed Location (its...
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158799 - 10/11/06 05:16 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I feel the same may happen to me, or it already has, I also need to rediscover life, I think my ego has grown too big.


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OfflineSilentG
Stranger thanfiction

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 420 420 Posts!
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158807 - 10/11/06 05:18 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I think we've all been here.

Just realize that it's totally normal to hurt like that and that it really does get better in time. There's really nothing else that'll make you feel better besides trying to distract yourself for now. Go do stuff. Hang out with friends, take up a hobby, write bad poetry, whatever.

I kick myself for the dumb things I did because the one I loved dumped me. You owe it to your future self not to fuck your shit up too bad.


--------------------
Yes, I could go drive somewhere everytime the urge to defecate hits, but...where's the fun in that.
-Moth


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InvisibleLiz
Owl Lady
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158835 - 10/11/06 05:24 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Hey, if you want to talk, you can IM me if you want, just let me know. It may not seem it right now, but the sun will rise tomorrow, and it will heal, with time. Right now you should concentrate on surrounding yourself with people who love you, and keep yourself busy so that you don't dwell on things. Don't do anything drastic and harm yourself, that's not the answer.


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
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Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158837 - 10/11/06 05:24 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I'm sure it seems like shit now but life is a beautiful thing, and should you decide to hang around you will most definitely realize that certain truth some day!

hang in there brother!


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,006
Loc: the sky
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158841 - 10/11/06 05:25 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Just remember, buddy - when you hit rock bottom there's only one place to go from there, and that's up.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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OfflineSchwip
Never sleeps.
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Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 3,937
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158846 - 10/11/06 05:25 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

time really does heal all

hang in there bro!


--------------------
--------------------------------

" If the sky were to suddenly open up there would be no law. There would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories... the choices you've made, and the people you've touched. If this world were to end there would only be you and him and no-one else. "

..............

"MAN! You know there aint no such thing as left over crack!"



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InvisibleRipple
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Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6158847 - 10/11/06 05:26 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I was going to say that! :evil:


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,006
Loc: the sky
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: Ripple]
    #6158857 - 10/11/06 05:27 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

If life was never shitty, life would never be awesome.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6158869 - 10/11/06 05:30 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Stop doing that!

Very true though


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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OfflineGeneephurr
Amazing
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Registered: 09/25/06
Posts: 253
Loc: Bore-bank.
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6158921 - 10/11/06 05:45 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

That sucks babe. We HAVE all been there, and as bad as it is now it does get better.

You shared some great times, hold those close. I'm quite certain it's not your fault, you did what you could, and it just wasn't right, you can't blame yourself for that.


--------------------
"Man's real life is happy,
chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so."
- Edgar Allan Poe


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OfflineMr_Spliff
Dreamer
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Registered: 12/01/05
Posts: 224
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Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: Ripple]
    #6158932 - 10/11/06 05:48 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I am beginning to feel as if I want out of here, that, what is going on here doesnt matter, I feel as if the search is always futile, that the search is a falacy. I feel as tho if I had a gun, I would not be typing this. I know what your saying, I feel lost. I don't want to end everything, I just want out of here, but I wonder if there would be anything after, so that fear keeps me here.

On my last shroom trip I was convinced that this world just shouldn't be, that I was in a coma or I was insane and had constructed all this on my own, I felt trapped in here, that all this meditation, enlightenment, all that felt like a search for an alternative way out. But the only way out is death. I was going to go into a hospital and tell them to kill me, that I knew the "secret" I had it figured out, the only way to continue the path is death, to jump to shoot you head off, anything, and then you would be truely born, that suicide was a way to end all this insanity which is reality.

I still feel that way, I just dont have the balls, I want to see past it, I kinda feel that its just another hurdle in life, another psychological abstical, a test if you will, I just don't know weather passing the test is to get out or to stay in, knowing myself I always choose the safest route, the one with less concequenses, and as of yet suicide may have a HUGE cocequence, and living is just dealing with problems and at least you still have the choice.

has anyone been threw this? any suggestion, should I just hold on? but for what? so that one day the choice will present itself again?


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InvisibleJenny
part of thewhole
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Registered: 06/03/00
Posts: 5,614
Loc: Columbus, OHIO
Re: please help ..i really dont know [Re: elaspeinreason]
    #6159039 - 10/11/06 06:22 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

aww that sucks :frown: Much love to you.

you should download that Rascall Flatts song "God bless the broken road"

Time heals all wounds..turn to your friends and loved ones and just talk about it, don't clam up and isolate yourself, talking and being open about it makes things easier. Like posting about it is definitely good. Good luck..we've all been there!


--------------------

Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated than that.
It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.


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