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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Need to appreciate life? then try.............
    #6155085 - 10/10/06 06:57 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

So I figured I would post what I consider to be an interesting story for everyone here to read, this day has had a profound impact on me, some of it good, some of it bad.
Either way, its interesting....

So here in BC we have some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, so one fine beautiful BC day, 4 friends and I decided we would head out to one of our towns  most amazing spots.

Let me try and describe it, at the end of the road there is a trail, and this trail takes you to a river, but not just any river, there are massive trees along each side, and when I say massive I mean huge trees 100's of years old, when  I first arrived, it took my breath away, the trees, the river, the huge amounts of slate that could just be smashed off the sides of this vein of the earth were amazing.

I was picking fossils out of the side of the rocks :laugh:
It was quite neat.

I wanted to stay there for awhile longer, we were only there about 20 minutes.

But we were on our way to an even "better" spot I was told.
So to get to our destination we had to navigate the river and its choppy waters, which wasn't all that hard, we spent allot of time just following each other across rocks, and through water.

We saw little caves everywhere, and if you have never been to BC or the PNW, it might be hard to imagine how COOL this river and the surrounding area was, but its your classic untouched PNW forest.
Huge slabs of rock just laying in the water, little caves, etc, words cannot describe it fully, :wink: (so I messaged a friend and told him to send a pic)

So we get to a set of waterfalls, one little one, which of course comes with its own little pool, and then the water drains over the side into the bigger pool.

And to get where we are going we have to jump, so everyone except one friend jumps, and now its my turn, I don't swim very well, and it had been awhile since I had even tried, but after some encouragement , I jumped, and came out of the first little waterfall, stood on the rock edge, and felt pretty damn alive.

so for the next jump I asked a friend to be close to help me out if I neeeded it, but after the first jump, I figured I should be fine, and then my friend said "I'm getting fucking cold down here man, shit".

So I hesitate a little and then jump............


I break the water pretty well, and go down quite deep,then...

Panic sets in, I was not ready for how deep this was going to be, and the light is fading from my eyes, FAST, I struggle and flail my limbs in wild motions, trying to get to the surface, I see some light coming up, I swim harder, break the surface, and quickly for a second, I hear my friends yelling, but I can barely make out what they are saying , they seem very worried, and then its back down into the cold dark water  :frown:

The next time I feel anything its a friends arm, they are helping me up, I'm going to be saved?

Nope,
I'm dragging us both down,  :thumbdown: then this happens again, and again  :frown:
This goes on for quite sometime, later I would find out, that I dragged 2 friends down several times.

So during one of these times that a friend is trying to help me, and I end up dragging him down, he lifts me above the water a bit, and punches me, right in the face, and quite hard, and its back under I go!!  :frown:

The next thing I know I am above water again, my heavy set friend is having trouble holding onto a little tiny piece of flat rock, thats attached to a very steep rock face.

Both his index and middle fingers are placed in a little nook ,and they are holding his heavy body, and my, weak as a kitten, average sized body up with his fingers.
I just have no strength left.
"grab the rock.................. grab the rock................. grab the rock!!"
He keeps screaming, and I know I have to try, but I cant, my arms and legs are weak, I feel like I am just going to roll out of his arms and sink, and I feel very lightheaded.
I'm spitting out water, and I really cant breathe, I try, but my breath is so weak I can barely maintain it.
"grab the rock!!"
"I'm trying" I whimper as I cough up huge amounts of water.
I have my arms laying on top of his at this point, and I make a feeble attempt to grab on, I miss, and begin to slip.
I cant stress enough, how weak I felt, after losing all that oxygen.

Finally, I do grab on,.....
Now we have to get to another little ledge, one we can sit on, so we swim, sorta like one, well , if I was 1/4 of one :wink:

We make it to the ledge, and we both need to sit and relax.
I cough out water for what seems like 10 minutes, then I shake out of panic and fear for about 20 more minutes.  :sad:

now all we have to do is swim across the deepest part of the water , but this time, my friends have a plan.

They get a giant piece of bark, swim it over, and I use this to cross, with one friend on either side, and this point, we were just glad to be alive, and they had a bit of fun with me, they were like "kick mother fucker, kick those legs come on"
Meanwhile one friend that was standing in the shallow end kept yelling stuff like "just 20 more feet, come on , kick those fucking legs bro!"  :smirk:

Once we were all in the shallow end, I calmed down a great deal, and actually later that night, I felt so LUCKY to be alive, and I still do.

One really weird thing has happened since then, sometimes when I rub my fingers together, I think of dead skin, and being dead etc, and drowning, and I freaks me out.

I don't know how I get these powerful images and feelings , but I do.
I don't mind thinking about how I drowned, nearly as much as the weird , hard to describe feeling I get when I rub my fingers together. (sometimes)

My hands are dry, they see lots of soap and iso  :mushroom2:  :smirk:
But my skin isnt dead, obviously, yet now and then, i feel like it is for a short time, and let me tell you, its pretty fucking creepy.
:sad: :eek:
Some of my friends asked the obvious question, why did you jump at all?
I dont know, it was dumb as fuck, I can barely swim, and I wasn't depressed, I did feel some,pressure from my friends, but not much.

After the first jump there was no turning back, so I guess I should have just stayed up there.

Since that day I had not spoken the friend that saved my life, we don't know each other very well, in fact he is more of (or was) a friend of a friend.

However, the other day when I thanked him, he cried a little, he was at the bar, and he obviously was a little embarrassed, and just said things like "its cool man, I couldn't leave you down there"

I tried to leave him with the impression that no cash or gift will make up for what he did, although I will be giving him gifts  :mushroom2: :stoned:

Anyway, it felt good to write this out, has something like this ever happened to you???
What about weird psychological shit, like my dead skin problem?

I am very happy to be alive, but sometimes when I think about the experience, its like I am back there, and I lose the air in my lungs for a second at the worst times, other times I just see all the colour variation as I moved from the waterfalls surface, to the bottom. Its scary.

I haven't done any psychedelics since about this time last year, it was this summer that I drowned, but I am hoping it doesn't have any negative effects on my trip coming up, I want to sample the latest  :mushroom2: 's but I sure as hell don't want to feel as if I am drowning, or that all my skin is dead.  :sad:

Thanks for read this, just getting it out there makes me feel better, writing did feel kinda crappy at certain points, but now that its done, I feel good.
:laugh:


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Edited by Psilocybeingzz (01/12/07 02:34 AM)


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Invisiblepoke smot!
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Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 5,244
Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. *DELETED* [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155179 - 10/10/06 07:25 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x



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OfflineLegend9123
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Registered: 09/24/06
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155219 - 10/10/06 07:40 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Hope you have a good trip.  Cliff notes next time?  :laugh:


--------------------
Those who would give up a little freedom to get a little security shall soon have neither.
-Benjamin Franklin


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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Registered: 12/15/02
Posts: 14,463
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Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: poke smot!]
    #6155249 - 10/10/06 07:47 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Ya I heard about that, wow, bro, that must be harsh.
Stay strong.

"Hope you have a good trip. Cliff notes next time?"
Sorry was that a pun :smirk: ??

And NO, because if you cant stand to read the whole post, I dont really care what you think about my experience, no offence, but you cant just condense something like this, it was too powerful, it has too much bearing on my life.


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Offlinekillme
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155272 - 10/10/06 07:53 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Near death experiences can be quite powerful and are not always a bad thing. I had one 7 years ago and it changed my life. There's no way that I should have lived, yet I did. It really makes you examine your life.


Edited by Deadmaker (10/10/06 07:53 PM)


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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Registered: 12/15/02
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: killme]
    #6155286 - 10/10/06 07:55 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Indeed.
I can honestly say I appreciate every single little moment I am alive even more now that I have been close to death.

I hope this makes it easier to die when the time comes.


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OfflineGreat Scott
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155358 - 10/10/06 08:12 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

When you do decide to die, hopefully it's not as bad as being suffocated by water.  :mushroom2:


--------------------
:thumbup: :thumbdown:


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OfflineSyle
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155368 - 10/10/06 08:14 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

i am confused on exactly what happened...did you hit your head jumping? were you just drowning, or what...?

near death experiences ftw though; glad to hear you pulled through that.


--------------------
https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!


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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Syle]
    #6155391 - 10/10/06 08:18 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I just drowned. I couldnt swim well enough.  :sad:

And I agree PeyoteZen, I hope its not like that!! :sad:

I have read about how Taoists prepare for death their whole lives, so that when it comes, they are ready, and while this experience did leave me with some weird psychological crap to deal with, like my fucked up feeling of dead skin, which seriously freask me out, I think I am moving past it, and getting stronger.

Infact, I feel that in about 4 months from now, I will be stronger then I have ever been, psychologically. :laugh:

Thanks for reading guys, its nice to share something this powerful.


--------------------


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OfflineJadian
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155416 - 10/10/06 08:24 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

My near death experiences actually just gave me a better understanding of letting things be. I figure what will happen, will.

(Although both of mine were car crashes where I wasn't driving, so I guess I really had no control)


--------------------
LNC's official Alaskan stoner
:jackdaniels::drooling::jackdaniels:


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OfflinePowerTrip
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155600 - 10/10/06 09:04 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

I rolled a car over multiple times at around 70+ MPH. I was only slightly injured and the other three in the car didn't even get more than a bruise. It happened too fast to be a near death experience, though the feeling was there for a split second. Now it is more like an "I should be dead" experience.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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OfflineHB
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6155799 - 10/10/06 09:46 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

that was a wild story ... I am a good swimmer but I lack the long-term swimming endurance, and always feel slightly uncomfortable in moving water ... I have been tossed around in the ocean, and it's ALWAYS scary until you come up for air finally ... and even then, you're not always in the clear ...

glad to hear you made it out alright ... if anything, the event will just make you stronger, by showing you that even in the most precarious situation, you can still come out on top ... literally  :cool:  :thumbup:  :heart:


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OfflinePsilocybeingzz
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: HB]
    #6155946 - 10/10/06 10:20 PM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

if anything, the event will just make you stronger, by showing you that even in the most precarious situation, you can still come out on top ... literally



:sunny: :psychsplit: :sunny: :yinyang:
Thanks it has been good overall, and there is no better motivation like the kind I have now, not only do I have the drive, I am focused on my own goals, not my parents ideas, or the doubt of friends that think risks arent worth taking(I mean quiting a job , and starting my own legal, business) , or whoever.


I ride life now, life doesnt ride me :wink:


:bananahorsey:


--------------------


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InvisibleGrizzyCappy
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Registered: 10/06/06
Posts: 488
Loc: TX - USA
Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: Psilocybeingzz]
    #6156344 - 10/11/06 12:01 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

Sometimes, not always - we have a choice. You can feel it.

It's sort of like letting go of all the "ouch" and "grrr".

Good appreciation lesson for ya, ain't it?
Now go out and tell someone how much you care about them...


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Offlinehoopershroomer
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Re: Need to appreciate life? then try............. [Re: GrizzyCappy]
    #6156381 - 10/11/06 12:17 AM (14 years, 7 months ago)

great responses everyone. this experience for you will indeed change your life, take a good look around you, you are so lucky to be alive, to be a human being, you have INFINITE power to do anything you want to do.

i would have to say that this story will eventually reinforce to you that....


"what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger"...always
have a good life man, actually, have good life EVERYONE :smile:


--------------------
"Life lived in the absence of the psychedelic experience that primordial shamanism is based on is life trivialized, life denied, life enslaved to the ego."

"You teach the world how to treat you, by showing the world how you treat yourself."

A well developed sense of humor is far superior to any religion"

"Everything you could want and could be, you already have and are."

:peace: & :heart:


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