I dont know, maybe i ust have too much on my mind. I randomly met some guy sat night, and i was not on any drugs. He said "you shouldnt do drugs, you cant handle them" he didnt know me! WTF. I did drugs, i was ok. Later at like 4am, i did some K, then some more K. I took a large dose, more fucked up than ive ever been on it. I was so confused, i didnt know what was going on. It didnt matter, cause i wasnt sure if i was even alive, so much shit was happening. Nothing mattered, cause everything was a game of infinate rules, and possibilitys. It was kinda cool, i didnt flip out, but it was real confusing, and once again i felt really alone. Like i was the only one in existance to a point, like hte only one that mattered, or everyone was also me in this madness. The world was spinning, and i wasnt sure where everyone else went, i was stuck in the jungle of confusion...it was a fucking trip. Then the door opened up, and i crawled into the house. I entered heaven where i was purified by the healing bed, and enchanted by soft ambient tunes. About an hour later, i come back to reality and relize im in a friends room with all my other friends. I am laying on his water bed, while one of them is mixing some records. It was crazy, and that was only the beginning of the night. When i was confused that much, i also kept thinking about my mom. Kinda a trip thinking i was in trouble. I knew in my head i had to be home sometime, i couldnt live my whole live in the jungle, she would get mad at me. But then i also knew that nothing was true, it was all fabricated by me, reality isnt real, neither is she, so it doesnt eeven matter, nothing matters. It felt like ive been there before...and i have, on completely diffrent drugs. It was the place, everything and nothing :[ It seems i wake up from this world alot. The only thing i can compare it to is me chillin, then stuff seems to get weird. And a soft and gentle voice says "David, this is the real world, this is how stuff is" The voice may be gentle, but weird at the same time, like a gentle serial killer. There is no REAL voice, but its a feeling, and talk is the closest thing i can compare it too. Not only is this voice everything. It is also me, i am waking myself up, aswell as the rest of hte world into the truth, and maybe i like living life ignorant, its fun here. Its not my time, im too scared to see the truth. It overwhelmes me. But then when i say no, i snap out of it, and it disappears. I dont know.
--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
|
cool, i've gotten that feelin sober twice in the last month, ya i feel ya. I've heard it could be as simple as Aliens making you feel isolated when you realize or revelate in some way, but i'm not sure, how can i be? to me it feels like everyone else has realized this holographic world, has ascended into the next demension, yet i am the last to realize this illusion, so i panic, everything and everyone begins to look foreign to me. I also feel like everyone left here has been posessed or taken over, everyone begins to look at me with evil eyes as to why i won't join them, they are like zombies, and it seems as if they would like to make me one of them. The worst part of it all was that i wasin the middle of my shift at work, luckily i had my buddy to talk to as he felt very similar to me at the moment but not as intensely.
--------------------
insanity with a plan, a plan to stop exercising truth as compared to breathing thin air, but to experience truth as all there is to experience, for what do i not already have that exsists? All i can do is enjoy the ride.
Edited by cHeMiCaLbLuE (04/08/02 07:21 PM)
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order 
Red Vein Kratom
tak 
cHeMiCaLbLuE 
Edit 
Reply 
EchoVortex
TheShroomHermit
1 2 all )
TripsAreForKids
Swami