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Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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OfflineFades_to_Black
Sexaholic
Female

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 185
Loc: Lynn, the City of Sin
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
My Broken Heart
    #5975273 - 08/18/06 06:46 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Ok, me and my boyfriend broke up after almost 9 months. I keep telling myself I don't miss him, but everytime I go to bed, he's there. Everytime I log-on to the computer at school (his name's my pass), he's there. Everytime I look at that crazy little picture we took near Christmas time, he's there. He is my first love, my first real boyfriend. It kills me everytime I think about him because I want so badly just to be in his arms.

My question to you is: I want him back so badly. I made a mistake when we broke up, and it killed him inside. Is there any hope for me? What can I do to prove to him that I've changed? I can't take this pain in my heart any longer. The plastered on happy face I've been wearing is starting to wear thin. I feel like I could lose it any second...oh, wait...I already have.


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With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know. - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

~*Krysta*~


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InvisibleZippoZM
Knomadic
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: My Broken Heart [Re: Fades_to_Black]
    #5975469 - 08/18/06 09:41 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

thats a tough situation you are in. I cant tell you what to do, follow your heart and see where it goes.

what was the reason for your breakup?


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PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: My Broken Heart [Re: Fades_to_Black]
    #5975505 - 08/18/06 10:12 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Is there any hope for me? What can I do to prove to him that I've changed? I can't take this pain in my heart any longer.




There is nothing you can do to prove to him that you have changed. Likewise you can't change him. You could continue to chase him, but once bitten twice shy as they say.


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Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (08/18/06 10:19 AM)


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OfflineGrok
Has Been a Bad Boy
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Registered: 12/03/03
Posts: 1,262
Loc: Greener Pastures Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
Re: My Broken Heart [Re: ZippoZ]
    #5975519 - 08/18/06 10:20 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Breaking up for the first time, especially when you had really strong feelings, sucks ass! I know the feeling...you will never find anyone like them again, you lost the greatest thing ever, you will never feel better, etc. That's just a part of it though. Seriously, hardly any relationships work out in the end if you break up and get back together. There was probably a good reason you broke up. And now its easy enough to see it as a mistake as it makes you feel this awful.

All of this will pass with time. There are lots of people out there. Your mind can't stay this way forever.

Maybe you did make a mistake. Follow your heart, that is the most important thing. But BE HONEST with yourself!! It ain't any easier the second time around, or the third, etc. Really put some thought into this. It was a mistake every time I got back together with a girl.

My advice - don't talk to eachother for a couple weeks. Sounds awful but that is how you know wether or not the feelings are for real. This is especially tough if you were really attached to your dude - perhaps you lost sight of who you are without him. If so then you need that time to at least find yourself again.


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Entropy is increasing.
To send me a PM, go to my journal


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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
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Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: My Broken Heart [Re: Fades_to_Black]
    #5975739 - 08/18/06 12:14 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Ok let me start by saying that I know this is harder then usual considering that he's your first true love. But as harsh as it might sound and it's not what you want to hear, but believe me, it's from my own experience, is that once there's been done something to broke a relationship, nothing can take it back to the way it was.
It will always carry after itself someking of resentments which will finally lead to another break up.
So all I can do is tell you what you can do to forget about him, but first rule into doing that is you wanting it.
First og all you need to trow away anything that reminds you of him, like songs, pictures, gifts that he gave you, etc... you get the pic.
Secon of all I'd suggest re-decorating your room or make it look different so the vibes there chance. Also in rooms you spend more time with him you can do an energy clesnsing, maybe try and burn some white sage.
And don't expect that you'll get him out of your mind that fast, because you'll need some time till all this will pass.
I'm telling you once again that you will manage to get over it and feel great again, but this will take some time and will.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: My Broken Heart [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #5975778 - 08/18/06 12:30 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

let go and breathe.

make all decisions from your heart. not from a place of hurt. fear. negativity. sadness. your heart knows how to heal this and keep it from happening again.

my tai chi instructor, someone I theorize to be enlightened or near it, said to me once (even though I did not and do not have a girlfriend) "You aren't attached at all. It's weird, even though you love her, you don't care if you break up."

why did you break up?

he's just a person. you loved him. that's the nice thing about love. it doesn't discriminate. so you know, no you won't find the exact replication of him in someone else, and NO don't go seeking out a new b/f with anything other than your heart.....

but the thing about love is its simply love. people will be glad to carry it and resonate it, the stronger it is in you, the more harmonius your new relatoinships are.

there is a sense of "fate" to things but in the end you are the pilot.

so from here you get to create a new identity how do you want it to be? if you author your life with love, and this means love from Osama bin Laden and Bush and handicapped people and Christians, and enemies and friends, and family and foes.....

then IF you are meant to have a boyfriend, a husband, a soulmate, a life partner, you will have the most amazing one ever because you are operating out of love.

....and love is a transcending factor, the heart is where freedom from the gross/physical world begins.......

now if you operate out of anything lower than pure Christ-Buddhic-Holy love, then your actions will not bear good fruit.

so don't worry about this too much.

if you are meant to be with him actually you will be. but you need to open up to the self that is bigger than you, that is eternal, and look to it inward for healing and advice. then it COULD put you back with him, and if so it would be for the RIGHT reason.... but if you aren't acting from unity with the higher self and consciousness then chasing him could only bring both of you so much more pain.

and everything you feel is real. i don't want to trivialize it. the thing is though that in the long run you can free yourself from such things, and such ways of viewing the world, so that whatever you do brings you heaven and bliss, and a minimal or no amounts of suffering.

so.

act from your heart. if your heart takes you back (and your heart does not hurt and fret and pine away...... your heart may cry a lot but it's sort of a blissful sweet cry at the blessing for being able to feel things so real, and so personally.... then it will be right.

otherwise you just have to heal.

and good luck.

don't try to fill the suffering with new boyfriends, distractions, etc...

life is suffering. It never ceases until you are enlightened. This is the truth of the Buddha. The only thing worth vesting your HEART and SOUL into is YOUR OWN FREEDOM, not anyone else..... and the freer you are, the more silly life becomes, the less it hurts, and the better your relatoinships, if you are "meant" to have them (and i suppose you can choose) are.

don't embrace a patch of thorns, thinking it loves you. That's kind of what the samsaric dance is.

All you can do is let the pain flow, without judging. Without saying "let me have just one more moment with him" without saying "i NEEED a lover" without saying "I" at all, just saying "I'm so sorry you feel that way.... I love you and we can make it through"

and crying is one of the most beautiful things you can do.  :heart:

search yourself from the answers. i don't agree with the whole, don't go back thing. it depends on so many things. don't go back for any reason other than what the highest holy life tells you.

you can say a simple prayer. may i find what i need, if not in him, than in something better, and may i have the open mind to accept and embrace it, that it may fulfil me.

in the long run you are the only person that matters, other companions will bring great blessings, but you know think about the way like attracts like.

if you are some super depressed angry violent teenager your boyfriend is not going to be a very good one for you to have lol! but if you are just some happy content radiant being then you will have a happy content radiant being for a boyfriend.

so this can be a great stepping stone for you to really get in tune with yourself, if you use it to learn and be free.

if you radiate neediness, you will get neediness. if you radiate pleasure, you will get pleasure. if you radiate peace you will get peace.

it's like there are a vast number of paralell dimensions awaiting you, and each one you will have similar "things" in your life, but they will bear various fruits, anywhere from being poisionous, to being so psychedelic and loving that they blow your mind in fervent tears of gratitude to the cosmos.'

the secret is its about you, not other people. when you are YOU then other things are taken care of.  :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (08/18/06 12:37 PM)


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OfflineFades_to_Black
Sexaholic
Female

Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 185
Loc: Lynn, the City of Sin
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
Re: My Broken Heart [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #5983090 - 08/21/06 06:07 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
First og all you need to trow away anything that reminds you of him, like songs, pictures, gifts that he gave you, etc... you get the pic.





I don't think this will help any.  All the pics and what have you, they exsist in my mind.  There is no throwing that away. :heart:


--------------------
With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know. - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

~*Krysta*~


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
Re: My Broken Heart [Re: leery11]
    #5984862 - 08/21/06 07:49 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Great post man.  :thumbup:


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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