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Offlinesoulcircus
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    #5972760 - 08/17/06 12:45 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by soulcircus<p>Reason for deletion: .


Edited by soulcircus (03/31/08 05:50 AM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: soulcircus]
    #5975314 - 08/18/06 07:35 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

when you reach the limit of any direction
you hit the wall and return.

some see white light or flame, others are drenched in moisture, any "pure" element can be pursued till all resistance is gone.

then the emotional release.


this, like love, can be a drug, and one can addict themselves to catharsis.
if it is your favourite drug, and it well might be, then the best you can do is to find ways to be good and to be kind and to be a contributer to the family and friends, and indulge your self as non-destructively as possible when you find a good opportunity to be alone and decadent.

...no shame.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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Offline1orange
people r strangewhen ur astranger

Registered: 07/23/06
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5975531 - 08/18/06 10:28 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

yeah ive been getting the headaches and im frightened of losing any sense of selve.

ive changed so much over the past two years mostly for the better i feel.
but a few months ago i got into this terrible negiative thought pattern
absolutly horrible i couldn't stop it.

so i tried to rebirth myself with mushrooms. the trips themselves where positive but when i returned to my body and the effects wore off the cycle was back.

so i tried salvia for the first time 20x wow didn't expect it to be that intense but i seen my body was made up of what looked like umpalumpas every cell of my skin was a little orange elf like creature

i could seen my brain but not the physical brain the area where i once believed my brain was and on it where to brown elf like creatures the one on the left was negative and the one on the right was like a black box recorder and these two transmuted my memories so the could feed off my negative emotions and energy.

basically making my life hell and turning me into a buffet for parasites. but there was a green feminen elf there she called my name and reassured me told me to relax

sorry dude i don't know how this relates to your situation. i guess im just saying that the feeling you are having might not be your own you might be lunch.

yeah i might be nuts


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Offlinefireworks_godS
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: 1orange]
    #5975573 - 08/18/06 10:49 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

It sounds as though you are starting to come to terms with whatever emotional issues you have been dealing with.

I think you realized that this battle with yourself has been having negative effects on every aspect of your life situation, and those who share aspects of your life situation. I think this realization allowed you to start to transcend the battle.

Maybe there is no reason to battle yourself? Perhaps it is the battle which is causing the pain, or whatever it is that is not satisfying?

Considering the experience that resulted, I think you might just need to find a center within yourself. Based on what you said, you have family, and reflecting on them and the ways you have been affecting them seems to bring you to cease the struggling (if you don't mind me asking, what are you struggling with?). You obviously care about your family and their well-being - this might be a great opportunity to find a center! :thumbup:

Ultimately, I think the effects that you have on your family can be utilized as an effective gauge for yourself. Don't divert much focus into your battle, but simply focus it upon your family, and what you can do for them.

Because, you know what? It sounds as though they, quite possibly, care about you too, and that they desire to see you fufilled, at peace, fully living a healthy life. Focus on their well-being and stay conscious of their well-being, observe their well-being and look for ways to contribute to their well-being, and, quite naturally, you will establish your own well-being.

What do you think? :cool:

:earth: :sun: :headbang: :satansmoking:
Peace. :mushroom2:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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OfflinePed
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: soulcircus]
    #5975648 - 08/18/06 11:28 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Relax, dude.  There is never any reason to be so hard on yourself that you become physically ill.  That just compounds the problem.

I was at the Shambhala Music Festival last weekend.  During one of the psytrance sets, there was a hard cut in the beat, a brief pause, and then a beautiful feminine voice spoke the words "Everything you have ever done is forgiven."  The beat dropped like a bomb after this quote, and a roar of joy swept over the crowd of about 500 people at this particular stage.  There was this tremendous sense of release, and of kinship.  People really felt forgiven for all their mistakes:  everybody makes mistakes. 

Who forgave them?  That doesn't matter.  At the end of the game, people just ended up forgiving themselves, and that's what's important.  That's what's actually going to help them live happy lives.

You've got a good heart, soulcircus.  Put your faith in it.  :heart:


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace


Edited by Ped (08/18/06 11:39 AM)


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: Ped]
    #5975688 - 08/18/06 11:46 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Tim Leary states in the Psychedelic Experience that recoiling from the white light and any bardo visions can easily lead to a psychotic "rebirth"..... but if surrendered to properly the white light can lead to cleaning and when you come back to being you, you can have a completely new personality.

Is there any positivity to the light? Is the only thing that is scary the abstract notion that "you" may cease to exist? Well, you cannot cease to exist, you will exist somehow, so perhaps the light would do you well in giving you a much needed cleaning, just like the pain of holding back tears is much more intense than crying, which actually makes you feel good.

Or vomiting, much better to vomit and feel better, than not vomit and be in misery!

The thing is I think, that yes the white light can clearly signify cessation of your current phsyical manifestation, but if the white light is encountered not BECAUSE the body is dying, but because the MIND is being set free, the body is still so healthy and ready to live that you will come back to it unless you choose not to.

That's why people on drugs or in deep meditation still come back down unless they are so advanced that they can choose not to come back down.

I understand how hard confronting these experiences can be, but light is not your enemy! your ego is. now instead of being a worker bee, mindless, enslaved, your ego IS a being recoiling at the horrors of not existing....... and that is your new identity, hence the psychosis......

the ego when really shattered and having nothing left to cling to, but not being thrust deep enough into temporary death so as to purify it and be trasncended, can form an elaborate construction around a new asemblage point, and can RESIDE right NEXT to the intense psychedelic state, rather than residing in physical reality, and through making delusions about rejecting annihilation, the ego's confines can be entirely and wholey centered around this psychedelic level of existence....

and if you let the ego fight and conquer ego loss, the ego may have just a bit of PTSD from undergoing such an immense battle, whereas it can be best to just let it go.

so to me your options are either to accept day to day physical living, or to accept ego loss when it comes back knocking.

you can go back sane dude. it's very possible. either way. you just have to let go of the fearing and the duality though.

if there is a hell, you go there, if there isn't, you don't. because like, don't people pay more attention to the "devil" than they do to Jesus? well, it's basically that, if your mind splits things into black and white and good and evil, it refuses to tolerate experiences and so when it is confronted with something it is intolerant of it recoils in horror,.

but actually black and white are one and the same and each contain the other  :yinyang: and if you are recoiling in terror afraid of hell it means you are already in hell, becuase you validate the existsence of hell as a real possibility, rather than brushing it aside and going "how silly"

really black and white creates a lot of complications. whatever you assign energy to becomes real. so you have to learn to navigate your consciousness, and encounter stuff that scares you shitless and then make it so it's neutral. it doesn't have to be all at once, a huge confrontation with the unspeakable shadow beasts or anything, it can be gradual too and work just as well.

it took me quite a few months after a bad DXM trip to go back to normal. shit can warp you pretty bad :frown:

you have my sympathy and encouragement..... if you ever have this experience again, speak to it, say, i would like to heal YOU but can you please help me do it more gradually?

a spiritual discipline here is highly helpful. For instance, Jesus saves from "hell". And for instance, Buddhism saves from samsara, and from psychedelic boogeymen, which aren't REAL (according to Buddhists). And for instance atheism says "it's just a white light, just a trip, and I will always have a body" and for instance new ageism says let's surrender to the light and see how far it takes us!

but you've constructed a fear religion in your life right now. You need something to restructure your mind and cleanse it's delusions. What do you want? Religions work and they act as navigational guides for the higher states........ what do you believe?

What do you believe about this light? It's very important to ask that, because what you believe happens!!!!! It's like, if you have a big nose but you like it you don't fixate upon it. But if you hate the nose soooo much every time you see a mirror it just SHOCKS you and you are like OMFG i HAVE THE WORST NOSE! and it brings you suffering that you shouldn't have.

there's a way out and it doesn't have to be ego-death even though you are being shown these profound states. you just need to learn to trust, and you need to learn to love. and you need to be real open with your family and loved ones

and you need to find a way to explain what is going on. Buddhism explains it very well, you can read the psychedelic experience.

and look at the post below me, that's how I feel too.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (08/18/06 12:00 PM)


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: soulcircus]
    #5975711 - 08/18/06 11:58 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

The light you saw was a healing one, at least that's what it does to me. You got scared and pulled back from healing yourself.
Try it again, I think it will work and maybe that's your way to regaining your peace of mind you once had.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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Offlinesoulcircus
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Re: Strange Experience *DELETED* [Re: fireworks_god]
    #5976492 - 08/18/06 05:09 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by soulcircus

Reason for deletion: .



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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: soulcircus]
    #5977859 - 08/19/06 05:01 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

actually habit mind is the fabric that habit mind gets to work with, changes are achievable slowly. repetition and awareness is the sculptor's toolset. there is no you separate from habit mind, but there is a spirit riding it of which glimpses will occur.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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Offlinecapliberty
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5977870 - 08/19/06 05:30 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

one meets the ire way one does not worry about such dilemmas,

bitch slappin might be in order

so keep in mind if the law hasn't been observed it will be


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Offlinesoulcircus
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Re: Strange Experience *DELETED* [Re: redgreenvines]
    #5977999 - 08/19/06 09:05 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by soulcircus

Reason for deletion: .



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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: soulcircus]
    #5978287 - 08/19/06 12:01 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

I do know that you cannot "do" anything to your parents.

The relief may have come from the release of pent up emotion.

The real self lies underneath the conditioning. That knowledge is very fear inducing to the cultural (egoic) conditioning. In that calm space you opened to the possibility of being that "real" self. :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: soulcircus]
    #5978426 - 08/19/06 01:16 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

soulcircus said:
Quote:

redgreenvines said:
actually habit mind is the fabric that habit mind gets to work with, changes are achievable slowly. repetition and awareness is the sculptor's toolset. there is no you separate from habit mind, but there is a spirit riding it of which glimpses will occur.




yeah, i guess what i really mean by trying to stay out of habit mind, is not to fall back into full on habits.
like, the mind in which you may have first realised you were free



you see it
you remain watchful
you walk the new path
it becomes the new habit
the old habit becomes like an stuffed elk head mounted to the family room wall.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Strange Experience [Re: soulcircus]
    #5978471 - 08/19/06 01:34 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

I love you. Your confusions, fears and doubts are natural and passing. You are, and have always been, securely in the hand of a being who knows your every aspect, your darkest secret , and your every failing, and that being loves you absolutely, loves you beyond even the need for forgiveness. Nothing you can do or not do will ever deprive you of that infinite love nor its inevitable consequence: total peace, total love, total healing, total bliss.

Your journey may yet be long... longer than you can concieve. But trust me brother:

its all good



--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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