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OfflineChurning
Chain Reaction
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Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 1,570
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
Mescaline visions and the psilocybin abyss
    #5966578 - 08/15/06 04:00 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

I am relatively inexperienced with psychedlics, with only 2 uses of san pedro and mushrooms. This trip was with my brother at our house. I was looking forward to the experience because it was to be my last time tripping before college and wanted to see the true power of psychedelics. We planned to have san pedro and then mushrooms later into the experience.

We fasted all day and then at 6:15 P.M. we ate 2.5 grams of crushed syrian rue each. At 7:00 we began to eat the cactus. We powdered about 40 grams of san pedro each and I mixed with oj while my brother ate it with tortilla chips. I managed to have basically all of mine in a 45 minute timespan before nausea started to set in. My brother had a little less than half of his. We weren't worried about it though as we figured whatever was meant to happen would happen.

By 8:30 things were picking up quite a bit. At this time I was already more heavily into the experience then ever before. Trails, movement flowing into my vision from every direction, and patterns were emerging. At this time i felt horribly nauseous and all i could do was wait for myself to vomit. I looked forward to the cleansing it would bring, as it felt so integral to the experience. Sometime just after 9:00 I vomited, it felt as if I was throwing up my insides. After this I felt renewed and had an incredible urge to be outside. So we went, my brother was having a good time, not as heavily into it but still feelings effects none the less. I felt complete bliss outside, I lied in the grass and stared into the trees and the sky. I knew the night had unimaginable possibilities.

After sometime outside we went back in and said our goodbyes. We went upstairs which we had to ourselves and began to collect some blankets and pillows. I was feeling quite cold. We listened to some music and then I started feeling a little bad again, not mentally just physically. Waves of euphoria from the mescaline would hit me, but they didn't have the meaning they had previous times. The body load i felt was overwhelming. Also I noticed I wasn't done coming up yet.

Things just kept picking up in intensity. I started losing touch with the visual world and as I did I noticed a part of me would be gone too. I wasn't fully there anymore. It didn't bother me though. The only thing that was getting to me was the fact I felt nauseous, I think most of this was caused from the way the san pedro makes my mouth feel along with the fact I hadn't been eating anything all day. Anyways, my brother and I decided earlier we would watch a movie named Milo and Otis, we had watched as kids and hadn't seen it in a looonnng time. It was quite crazy, but I found myself drifting off into another place many times during the movie, my borther wasn't having any trouble because of his lower dose and was apparently unaware of my state at this time. I found myself not really wanting to do anything. Whenever I would get up to go somewhere I would find myself collapsing to the floor and not wanting to get up.

At around 1:30 well into the cactus we went back into my room and got ready to eat some of my mushrooms. We had set up some christmas lights in my room earlier for fun which was really cool. We made ourselves as comfortable as we could on the floor, propped against our bunkbed. We both ate around 2 grams each. At this point already time was almost meaningless and wasn't making much sense. As I layed there I began to feel more and more disconnected from our world both visually and mentally. I remember A bunch of colored geometric shapes taking form in some sort of language I couldn't understand. This is probably the only visual I can easily describe. All that was happening was amazing but also overwhelming. I knew my ego was dissolving to some degree. I still felt very uncomfortable physically, which is why I didn't really feel like doing anything. It was sort of like the cactus stuck me in place and made me forget about the relevance of all that was happening. This is what really got me to start thinking. I realized that visuals were important to me when I trip, but now in this moment, when I was seeing soo soo much happening around me I didn't care about it, not at all. I slowly began to realize the irrelevance of what I was seeing to the true gift, of being able to explore my mind. I was starting to get more and more uncomfortable, and my brother was too.

We made a few excursions at this point outside of our room. Again I found myself collapsing every once in a while, but these times I wasn't going to get up. I realized as I looked up that I was in mad state of intoxication and I wondered why, why do I feel like this. I realized it was all happening for a reason and I was making myself feel like I was. Every moment was being defined. The last few weeks before the experience effected this night, the last couple of days had a great impact(escpecially not eating), and of course the moments right before come into play. I knew the power of psychedlics to see the greatness in life because I had already experienced this is prior trips. But this time was different, I was truly beginning to understand the healing and learning power of these substances. I was ready for them to teach me, even though I felt like shit, I was ready for a harsh night, this is how I had set it up for myself and I was going to have to bear through it.

We made it back to our room, it may have not happened if it wasn't for my brother. We turned off all the lights and my brother unplugged the clock (on accident). I crawled into bed and prepared, I attempted to listen to some music for a while, but I ended up turning it off after probably 15 minutes. I thought about desire and suffering and how they hinder you. I thought about how the last few days I was desiring this experience and now that I was here all I wanted was to be comfortable, something so simple. I wanted everything simple, Everything since the time the cactus was kicking in hard. I felt as if I couldn't function properly but I embraced it.

So much was happening in my head. I let it all flow through unhindered. Sometimes thoughts would build and many times they just contradicted themselves in the end. But it all happened at once. I realized how every thought didn't really mean anything good or evil. They were merely there. As they flowed through they were basically undefined. All my previous views and experiences were not defining my thoughts. In fact they weren't defined at all. I could build them up in some fashion but if i tried to make sense of it, I couldn't, I just had to let it go, so thats what i did.

I still felt the horrible body load and it made me lead to think i was suffering maybe even dying in some way. But again I knew it was nessecary for this experience so I let it be, trying not to dwell my thoughts on it. I still found myself trying to go somewhere comfortable. I remember going into a girl world in some way. Everything was just how a girl would want it, it got domented at some times too. But I didn't care, as long as it would give me comfort I would embrace it. I also remember seeing bloody hands dripping and sliding down my vision. But at this moment nothing seemed wrong with this. I didn't view it in any negative fashion, it merely was bloody hands i guess, just what it is, like everything else. Its hard to explain how I viewed everything in this state. But I guess you could say it wasn't fully me who was viewing these things. I felt as if I had let as much of my ego dissolve as this experience and dose would take me.

The night was lasting forever. This was one one the most intense parts about it. The light of day seemed to never be coming. During the whole darkness in the room part of the night, I remember hearing music play in my head the whole time, mainly it was the great gig in the sky by pink floyd and a couple other songs. I also remember hearing some wierd noises but dismissing them. A couple of times I got out of bed to use the restoom and sort of did it on intstinct, not really thinking about what I was doing. I also talked to my brother once after I got up about many of the things that were happening, especially mentally, I think I may have helped clear some things up for him.

I remember it getting light outside and looking out trying see what was out there, but i couldn't really make anything out of it. After this I sort of passed into another state of conscience, where i wasn't asleep but can't remember anything, I sort of snapped out of it and got up. It was 9:30 now and i felt like I was coming down fast. So i got up and enjoyed the day. Also did alot of pondering.

I feel I have left a lot out from the night but this is the best I could do without taking up to much time. Basically I am left in awe of psychedelics. They seem to have so much ability to do good. This is the first time I experienced them as such a tool. And not only did I learn insight into problems my own desires can cause for my life, and only lead to suffering, I also learned so much about how our mind works, especially the ego. This has also helped me see past the visual aspect of tripping, not that they mean nothing, they just don't mean as much. So in the end I feel this was a harsh learning experience in a way because I could never get comfortable all night and it was not fun at all really. But to me thats ok, because I got a lot out of it. And next time I think I will eat more food or figure something out so I don't feel as bad physically.


Edited by Churning (08/15/06 04:04 PM)


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Offlineezsefix
Steve
Male
Registered: 04/10/06
Posts: 299
Loc: The United States of Emba...
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
Re: Mescaline visions and the psilocybin abyss [Re: Churning]
    #5970283 - 08/16/06 05:59 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Damn, San Pedro, mushies, AND syrian rue? That's quite the combination. Was a good trip report, thanks!


--------------------
I am a fictional character


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OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery

Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: Mescaline visions and the psilocybin abyss [Re: Churning]
    #5972154 - 08/17/06 06:04 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

I love your insights as well as the way you managed to get over these little "obstacles" a trip can oppose.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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