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Simisu
taken by gravity


Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,435
Loc: Israeli in
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last night was bad!
#5965675 - 08/15/06 10:42 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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after smoking some hash and having a well deserved shower i sat down to eat some food infront of the TV and veg out... i had a long day and was pretty tired from rollerblading and playing lots of frisbee. i started to watch this franch movie, the MOST depressing movie i've EVER watched... it was so SLOW and REAL, this man was narrating the charecter who hardly spoke (or did anything for that matter...) his thoughts sounded deadly femiliar to my own (the hash was almost gone bye this time but it left me very receptive...) you could see how this man craved for some sort of life, something to make all his time on earth worth it... but he would not even risk a smile or a question... he'd just stand there! occationaly when the character DID speak it was some sort of profound criticisem on society or a specific person...
oh GOD!
i have NEVER contemplated killing my self but i felt like my body might do it for me? as if i'm suddenly gonna stand up and my legs would give a couple of pushes and i'd suddenly be soaring out of my 5'th floor window 
all the while i tried to remind my self i'm not this person! but i couldn't help the barrage of sad depressing thoughts or the lonely empty feeling i was left with. it took me nearly an hour and a half maybe even more to finelly fall asleep!
it makes me want to brake down, to give up, to do something extream only i know it's not gonna happen i don't want to leave my life in someone alses hands. i want to finelly feel alive and content  braking down wont help with anything  i could be alot worse off that's for sure!
i apologize for putting it here in the pub... personally i don't like reading such posts (i just wanted to rant about franch movies rather then make an EMO thread but this is how it turned out so suck it up eh? )
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   Shr mery    Visit & Support Free Spore Ring Earth Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: last night was bad! [Re: Simisu]
#5965687 - 08/15/06 10:45 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Shitty.....that's when you have to turn off the movie & put something else on; hard to do I know, you can get sucked into that shit easily. But yeah, turn it off, take a few breathes, smoke some more hash to change your minds direction and get into something more uplifting; different movie, music, walk in the park, etc.
BTW, how are things now that the cease-fire is in effect?
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Simisu
taken by gravity


Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,435
Loc: Israeli in
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Re: last night was bad! [Re: Dark_Star]
#5965702 - 08/15/06 10:52 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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well... since that movie really hit my bad spot i'd have to say it was a very good movie, i felt it was a kind of test to my charecter to sit through the whole thing  it just had to be done! at least it made me feel SOMETHING unlike all the rest of the shit on TV...
for me it's all been the same (except for the start when we hosted some of my family for a week, that wasn't fun!) my guess it's not gonna last long though  my thoughts on the whole shananigens
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   Shr mery    Visit & Support Free Spore Ring Earth Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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Aninator
Flashtique


Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 2,228
Loc: Philadlephia, PA
Last seen: 7 months, 2 days
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Re: last night was bad! [Re: Simisu]
#5965746 - 08/15/06 11:05 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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what's the name of this movie.... I love movies that affect you like that. Art is infectious and when it infects you like that with a good or bad feeling... it's gotta be good art.
In any case try to think of the things that are uplifting.. the things in life that MAKE you feel alive.. for me it tends to be my imagination and the people in my lives.. when both of those are being acted upon i feel myself, alive and that life is the greatest gift given to me. i dunno if this helps...
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ShroomFan
nn dmt

Registered: 03/12/04
Posts: 866
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: last night was bad! [Re: Aninator]
#5965796 - 08/15/06 11:22 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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A bad night
You should be MOTHERFUCKING HAPPY
how are you supposed to ever know anything about yourself if you dont achieve levels of suffering
Find yourself fortunate that you came out of that little tragedy in your head and realize something
Maybe you know that you haven't been doing what you know you want to
Regardless LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST and NEVER SETTLE
those words are easier spoken than done but it can become an empowering personal motto
-------------------- Fellow Shroomerites, if you Love expressing yourself with a dope tee shirt feast your 3rd eye on www.facebook.com/vicereversa ∞ Conscious Clothing for Conscious Minds ∞ Wear a tee , open a mind Each shirt is spawned to Arouse Awareness <> We believe in Sustainability & Giving back <> Do you know of a community project or persons in need you feel deserves attention? - Tell us on our page And we just might pick the story > develop a tee > and donate the proceeds to that cause. ∞♥∞ Unget it, VICE REVERSA
Edited by ShroomFan (08/15/06 11:23 AM)
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Simisu
taken by gravity


Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,435
Loc: Israeli in
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Re: last night was bad! [Re: ShroomFan]
#5965899 - 08/15/06 11:54 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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sorry ani i didn't catch the name, i read it in hebrew but i have no idea how its translated to english let alone franch all i remember is it came out in 1999...
anyway, yeah i know i should focuse on what makes me feel alive, it's pretty simple after all and yet not at all! if i watched this befor i ever took mushrooms i'd probably be worse off, my last trip left me with a sense of acseptance for my life or lack there of... i realized that my goals in life are very simple and down to earth rather then the grandiuse imaginery feats i always wanted to acomplish... i still strive to change the world but at least i don't expect it 
he talked about how society has a sort of sex economy... some people sleep with one other person for their whole life, some people only have sex 6 times in thire life time while some don't have any sex at all. and some have sex with a few partners and still some have sex with many many partners, almost every day...
just like some people are poor and some are afluent!
he willingly goes to a boarding house for "crazy" people and while sitting there and watching everyone eat their soup he realizes how none of them are crazy, they're all just cooped up in them selves each with his own personal fears and draw backs, the ugly, the fat, the stupid, the histeric... they're all lonely and in need of some physical contact, a loving tuch a simple hug. that scean ends with one of the patiants starting to scream "no" and the help forcefully restraining her and taking her away "settle down already" "now stop that"
geh.... so fucking sad!
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   Shr mery    Visit & Support Free Spore Ring Earth Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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grphish
the Modern dayPacman

Registered: 04/01/02
Posts: 1,687
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: last night was bad! [Re: Simisu]
#5966058 - 08/15/06 12:50 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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was it black and white and about a guy playin the piano?
' the man who wasn't there ' i liked that movie..
-------------------- BoUnCy BaLL IS All SoUrCe OF LIGhT AnD HaPPiNeSS!!~! *bEEP* *beEP*
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