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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Im feeling lone and blue
#5964634 - 08/14/06 11:17 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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standing on the moon.... I'm at a very weird place in my life. alot of my very oldest friends are leaving me. the woman i love is leaving me. it feels like soon i will once again be alone with my thoughts. i dont want to get depresses as i know all things must decay and nothing is built to last. but at the moment my future looks very hazy. i know i have it in me to make my dreams reality. but when ever i try to look to the future and get some sort of plan going i feel as if i am being crushed by a falling brick wall. i just pray this time alone will result in some creative blossoming. i need to start righting music and getting better equipment. i need to fucking get down to business.
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KristiMidocean
fattie whale


Registered: 01/27/05
Posts: 3,702
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964641 - 08/14/06 11:20 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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you always have us at the shroomery! you know we love you and will always be here for you when ever and however you need!
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I live for LNC
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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u know thats true. this place has been a major part of my life throughout my entire adolesence. but with all the new people and how much the site has morphed over the years i kinda lost alot of my intrest in the actual community. good to know there are still caring people here in the pub  i will get by
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Dety
Old No.7

Registered: 09/14/04
Posts: 1,685
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964658 - 08/14/06 11:23 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Leanin
Student of theIron Game

Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 2,231
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Dety]
#5964670 - 08/14/06 11:25 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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man, dont get bummed.
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KristiMidocean
fattie whale


Registered: 01/27/05
Posts: 3,702
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964674 - 08/14/06 11:27 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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yeah over the last year this place has changed a lot but there are still those die hard shroomites that are real and caring.. Thats why I love this place.. I havent seen you around much lately you have been missed!
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I live for LNC
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Leanin]
#5964676 - 08/14/06 11:27 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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im trying not to its just my first freind left today. a girl i diddnt even knwo all that well (freind of my gf) and it just kinda knocked me into a bad spot. i want to cherish the time i have here, especialy with my girl freind. i dont want to let this shit get me down.
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Skunk420


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964683 - 08/14/06 11:30 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Look on the positive side of life, that is the only thing that has helped me out thoughout my years. Life is getting better for me finally, It can get even better. You just got to make it happen.
Edited by skunk78395 (08/14/06 11:31 PM)
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Skunk420]
#5964695 - 08/14/06 11:34 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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very true thank you skunk its just a weird weird world out there man. i gotta figure out how to make it work for me. iv pimped systems before. i can pimp this one too
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Corporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964700 - 08/14/06 11:35 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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yeah there comes a point in time when you realise life is gonna pass right by. and all those things you want to do need to get done or be forgotten.
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Skunk420


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964718 - 08/14/06 11:39 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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i am not in your situation, but do the best you can... I am gonna make my life better, and move forward, even if it takes a while..
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Skunk420]
#5964750 - 08/14/06 11:47 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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hey man thats good too. we can only change ourselfs.
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Skunk420


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964831 - 08/15/06 12:06 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Just keep you head up, I got a month of probation left, gonna go hit up some bars/clubs when I can afford it. I hope i can find a better job soon, I have friends helping me out with a lot of things these days. Of course I have been helping them out too.
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rockytop83
Ornoth/Myc/ologist

Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 588
Loc: Rocky-lachians
Last seen: 10 years, 6 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964840 - 08/15/06 12:09 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
notapillow said: standing on the moon...
I watch it all roll by All roll by All roll by All roll by
Sometimes thats all you can do. I hope everything works out for you my man.
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  ~You know that same rowdy crowd was here last night is back again~
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KaptKid
Spaced Pirate


Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 6,252
Loc: Bright Side of the Sun
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964927 - 08/15/06 12:32 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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inspiration for both words and music comes from the ups and downs of life.
I know you will keep the faith.
-------------------- Child of the 60's, Tripping ever since.
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blissedout


Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5964995 - 08/15/06 12:59 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Pillow, you are one cool cat and smart to boot. You will overcome the obstacle of loneliness. I am sorry to hear of you sadness, but life moves along and we must ride it out. Our spirits are strong and can withstand the test of time. I hope you find your understanding and see that there is a path there. In fact, there are many paths and I hope you find the one to elevate yourself. Good luck, buddy.
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pantsboy
I troll because I care.


Registered: 10/28/04
Posts: 13,002
Loc: 8====D ~o
Last seen: 1 year, 27 days
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: blissedout]
#5965005 - 08/15/06 01:04 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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"I've seen the needle and the damage done A little part of it in everyone But every junkie's like a settin' sun."
+ = 
Yeah, life pretty much sucks I try to escape reality as much as possilbe. The bad part is when you crash, you really come down hard. But in the end we all need to find a way to deall with everyday pressures. Some people just deal with it worse then others.
-------------------- Acid doesn't hurt when you're on fire.
"Mushrooms are only similar to penises in their appearance." - LeBron James (2013) ToiletDuk said: "Bus squelching is not to be laughed at."
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blissedout


Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: pantsboy]
#5965018 - 08/15/06 01:08 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Life is a gift, man! What are you talking about? I used to think that escaping your problems is the best way to deal, but I was wrong. Facing your troubles is the best and fastest way to get over it and move on with living your life. I wish more people would figure that out.
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pantsboy
I troll because I care.


Registered: 10/28/04
Posts: 13,002
Loc: 8====D ~o
Last seen: 1 year, 27 days
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: blissedout]
#5965049 - 08/15/06 01:18 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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I suck at facing my problems. I usually ignore them until they go away. Sometimes they only get worse when I ignore them but by that point the problems is beyond me. I know it's unhealthy, but I tend to hold in all my emotions until it becomes too great a load. It's usually at that point where I feel the need to find some sort of release. The things I love, hurt me and the things I need, kill me. I know I can't keep burying my problems and ignoring them forever, but I really don't like to think ahead. I've always been one to live in the moment. When things get bad all deal with it then, instead of worrying myself over something that has even happend yet.
-------------------- Acid doesn't hurt when you're on fire.
"Mushrooms are only similar to penises in their appearance." - LeBron James (2013) ToiletDuk said: "Bus squelching is not to be laughed at."
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blissedout


Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: pantsboy]
#5965069 - 08/15/06 01:26 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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I tend to have the same passive aggressive feelings, but I am constantly working to change that aspect of my personality. It's a hard thing to do, but it is making my life alot better not acting that way.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: pantsboy]
#5965977 - 08/15/06 12:20 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
pantsboy said: "I've seen the needle and the damage done A little part of it in everyone But every junkie's like a settin' sun."
+ = 
Yeah, life pretty much sucks I try to escape reality as much as possilbe. The bad part is when you crash, you really come down hard. But in the end we all need to find a way to deall with everyday pressures. Some people just deal with it worse then others.
yeah.... no... escaping reality will only result in all the shit you complain about 24/7 i have always been one to enbrace life. its just somtimes you have to enbrace the shity parts. lonlyness, drastic change, ect. to deny life and the life of those around you is to ignore the most inportent things in life. life does not suck. life can be crul, strange, ironic, even down right painful. but you gotta take what cards your givin. man i know you know better than to huddle in a pit of self pitty. the booze and the e are not helping you.
i cut my deck to the guees of spades, but the cards where all the same 
dont murder me
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5965981 - 08/15/06 12:22 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Word, I'm finally changing my escapist ways; meanwhile watching those that aren't lose the war as well as their lives and/or freedom. It's sad, brings me down, but also reminds me not to go back.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Dark_Star]
#5965990 - 08/15/06 12:26 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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thats real good to hear dark star.  you know man i may have never met you. but your courage is an isperation to me. you are a strong person. one of these days or paths will cross
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5966003 - 08/15/06 12:30 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thank you very much brother, ha, I view you as a source of strength and inspiration as well. I really hope our paths do cross....I'm planning on hitting the road, walking the Rainbow Trail, so there's a very good chance of it. I'll make it out to the west coast, sooner rather than later I hope.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Dark_Star]
#5966010 - 08/15/06 12:32 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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hellz yeah. ill still be here. even if everyone else leaves
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Aninator
Flashtique


Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 2,228
Loc: Philadlephia, PA
Last seen: 7 months, 2 days
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5966015 - 08/15/06 12:33 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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see the great thing about life is that it's got it's extremes.. I try to embrace the good with the bad, I know there are things i learn from being at extreme low points and i know there are things to learn when you're at extreme high points. This is life... learning through the extremes.
You were given life, take as much advantage of it and everything that crosses your path good and bad. there's something to be learned from all of it. So you had all the good times with your freinds and your girl... now all that's leaving you... but you have another opportunity handed to you... alone time. this is when you should fill your time up, return to your universe and get to know it a little better. and then good thigns aroudn you will be happening.
Life doesn't suck, it's just constantly handing you lessons to learn.
Keep your head up boy life is full of surprises.
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Krishna
कृष्ण,LOL


Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5966055 - 08/15/06 12:48 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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much love, brother.
i've been feeling kinda shitty and depressive as of late, too.
Since it costs a lot to win, and even more to lose, You and me bound to spend some time wond'rin' what to choose.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Krishna]
#5966071 - 08/15/06 12:53 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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If the thunder don't ya then the lightning will.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Dark_Star]
#5966084 - 08/15/06 12:56 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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quoting dead tunes i think has the same effect on my spirit as quoting the bible would have to a christian.
such a long long time to be gone and a short time to be there
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pantsboy
I troll because I care.


Registered: 10/28/04
Posts: 13,002
Loc: 8====D ~o
Last seen: 1 year, 27 days
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5966095 - 08/15/06 12:59 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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-------------------- Acid doesn't hurt when you're on fire.
"Mushrooms are only similar to penises in their appearance." - LeBron James (2013) ToiletDuk said: "Bus squelching is not to be laughed at."
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: pantsboy]
#5966106 - 08/15/06 01:03 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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that ould make a kick ass rat dog tour poster
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5966125 - 08/15/06 01:16 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
notapillow said: quoting dead tunes i think has the same effect on my spirit as quoting the bible would have to a christian.
such a long long time to be gone and a short time to be there
Yeah, me too...the Dead touch my soul like no other, I feel bad for those who don't understand them, who don't feel that.....feeling.
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5966128 - 08/15/06 01:19 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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keep your head up. change isn't all that bad, just don't let yourself get stuck in a rut
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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OldSpice
Geritol Breath...


Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 59,080
Loc: Crankytown, Texas
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Dark_Star]
#5966154 - 08/15/06 01:30 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Meh i feel sorry for all you dead heads that dont understand Floyd
-------------------- So hard to be ....WDWGFH? Texas is humongus compared to France Our Gair, who art in Texas, Paw Paw be thy Name.... My friends are thirsty
You never see a motorcycle parked outside a Psychiatrist office
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: OldSpice]
#5966193 - 08/15/06 01:44 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Alounacara said: Meh i feel sorry for all you dead heads that dont understand Floyd
aye
same with my feelings with tool.....everyone is hit emotional on different levels and different mediums, it's all good
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: OldSpice]
#5966224 - 08/15/06 02:01 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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AH, but I do understand Floyd. I've some incredible experiences listening to their music (and not just on drugs either) It's just that the Dead touch me more, to each his own.
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Aninator
Flashtique


Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 2,228
Loc: Philadlephia, PA
Last seen: 7 months, 2 days
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Dark_Star]
#5966230 - 08/15/06 02:04 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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they both hit me
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pantsboy
I troll because I care.


Registered: 10/28/04
Posts: 13,002
Loc: 8====D ~o
Last seen: 1 year, 27 days
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: Aninator]
#5966236 - 08/15/06 02:06 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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I feel the same about a lot of musicians outside of the dead and floyd. There's a lot of jazz musicians I listen to that are very good at making me feel happy when I'm sad or just really reaching out to my inner emotions.
-------------------- Acid doesn't hurt when you're on fire.
"Mushrooms are only similar to penises in their appearance." - LeBron James (2013) ToiletDuk said: "Bus squelching is not to be laughed at."
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adrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
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Re: Im feeling lone and blue [Re: notapillow]
#5966240 - 08/15/06 02:09 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Don't let it bring you down, its only castles burning.
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