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InvisibleBuddahKillah
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Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 1,733
Help
    #5961615 - 08/14/06 02:21 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Damn, I hate to come on here on complain about how much miserable I am. I got out of a really bad relationship... by finding out that my girlfriend I have been with for 9 months cheated on me. I Well, she actually broke up with me for a day... then went out and sucked dick and then called me the next morning telling me she was so sorry for doing it and she wanted me back. This girl is totally fucking heartless and just... a really fucked up person. I cant even describe how fucked up this relationship has been for the past month ... now this. On top off all this I have been really depressed for the past 4-5 months. I cant sleep. What can I do to not feel so fucking horrible. How long will it take me to get over this. I feel like I should be resting on the anger pillow ... but I cant even do that right now. All I feel is pain. How long will I feel like this?


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OfflineSneezingPenis
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Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5961713 - 08/14/06 03:19 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BuddahKillah said:
How long will I feel like this?




Once you stop blaming your problems on girlfriends and external factors and begin to examine yourself, your state of mind, and why you are truly there.... instead of making up excuses to put off confronting your life and the real reason why it has become this way.

-love,
reality


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: Help [Re: SneezingPenis]
    #5962460 - 08/14/06 11:42 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

kava kava might be good for a sleep aid and to lift your spirits.

but like attracts like. you gotta build a relatoinship built upon love, where complete and total honesty removes all barriers.

not some tv relationship, which is what like every single person even me (when i had one) has..... where they feel like they "should" have a girlfriend, and labeling someone "girlfriend" means something.

well actually in a world where we weren't so disharmoniously dissonant with our own inner selves, there would be no cheating and nothing to really create problems in relatoinships, because we would just be with someone, and they would help our survival, and us them.... and we would be very very close to each other as a result of the proximity of primitive living.... and it would be super easy for love to flourish, and there would never be any reason to lie, because in this community lies are easily seen for the murdering damagers that they are.

so then in this society lying is okay, because it's done all the time on tv right? well for more reasons than that.... but so if you lie with a guy and cheat on him, it's okay because everyone does it, and you can suck up and apologize and be a manipulative woman about it and he'll take pity on you and take you back eventually, while you leech his money whether it's intentional or not right?

well i mean in some societies a woman could be killed for that behavior. she SHOULDN'T but the point is this is a very damaging thing, yet our society trivializes the damage done and even praises it by portraying it deep into the collective unconscious through countless soap operas and romantic chick flicks and all sorts of things.

well in actuality it's pretty simple to live in this world, you just gotta realize it's all bullshit, and find someone else who feels the same.

see like if you nuked like.... antarctica and caused the world to flood, you would tell your lover and confess it to her and she'd accept you and stuff, and if she invented LSD she would confess it to you........... and so on and so forth.

you have to erase DIVISION because we are all one fucking crazy deluded human being having a strange exist in current Earth, and any separation is a lie of the ego.....

so if you have huge walls between you and the only things that build a BRIDGE are:
pleasure. satisfaction. escapism.

then yeah both of you are tools using each other to fuck things up.,

you have to build deeper bridges and then everything that isn't a bridge burns up as the two become one.

doomed to crumble lest we grow.

so man first you gotta ascertain why you seek out girls. what you hope to gain from it. then you have to look at yourself. are you suffering if you don't have a girl? that means you are deluded. now we'd all be better off with a soulmate, but if you have your happiness vested in a girl, that's a problem right there and will only destroy you.

now........ what purpose does a girl serve? Nothing really. It's up to you. In the end it's not about the sexing, or about the dating, it's about the constant moments of deep acceptance, perhaps just a simple walk one day sparking great joy..... or a shared laugh at something trivial yet ultimately significant and deep to the unit..... it's abut knowing that no matter what, you are accepted fully and loved and cherished.....

and anything else, fucking and going on movies and eating dinner well that's just ENTERTAINMENT and it's not really important at all.

the more you purify and cleanse yourself and make yourself holy, the more likely you will be to avoid those kinds of girls, and the more likely you will be to find the right "mate" when the time comes.

so jsut journey deep within. don't do many drugs at all, and especially not the addictive ones.

if you need sleeping drugs kava kava or some melatonin would work quite well.

if you need to fix your problems then you have to take up a disciplined routine of cleansing, such as dedicated hatha yoga an hour or more a day..... or really going at it and doing lots of working out (yoga being superior because it is a spiritual system as well as an exercise), or taking up and mastering a martial art.

or learning to sit and breathe and listen to yourself, gradually purifying and removing anything that is contrary to being blissful by just breathing alone.

our default state is happy. society wrecked us and we are in hell but think it's a pretty cool place to chill out? well emotional hell anyway. all fractured satelites not really connecting meaningfully, ants running around doped up by the queen, but without even a clear direction from her as to what to do... she says... just run in circles... just run in circles, always be busy, but never accomplish.

drain.drain.

the world is a vampire.

you have to pierce through and find the bliss that the infants know all too well, and the adults label as nonsense while grimacing from their towers to trepidtacious isolatoin..... bah.... magical mushrooms.... nonsense just a chemical in the brain..... bah religion... also a chemical process, for the stupid and weak.

i want to be up here in my tower, glowering at the world... humbug upon them all for thinking freely. time is money and i need lots of it.

1/10th + 1/10th = 1/5th or 1/20th or something. not 1. or 2/10ths more than likely.

1 + 1 = ONE.

complete + complete = fusion.

anything less = dissonance.

consider if we had elecrical outletsz in our bodies, and in so uniting with others we would attain the highest spiritual unity. but we refuse to take the tvs and the computers and everything out of our electrical sockets, so we have room to connect with others. we would rather connect to samsaric suffering. a life of mundane escapism.

then like a man and a woman, burdened with the baggage of the matrix, keep trying to ram their sockets together, but the pieces don't fit right.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


Edited by leery11 (08/14/06 11:49 AM)


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InvisibleCracka_X
Spiritual Dirt Worshipper
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Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5962754 - 08/14/06 01:28 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

not everyone is perfect and to expect or desire a perfect relationship would be just an illusion.  If you've dated for so long then there was something amiss in the relationship that made her do what she did.  She said she was sorry because she probably didn't feel the same way as with you.  I don't know.  Sit down with her, don't get angry with her and just talk.  let everything go.  If you get angry, she'll fear you and that will just suppress feelings that will lead to nothing good.

Then again, if you feel like "moving on" is a better idea then by all means.

Relationships have hard times and idk how much cheating is considered a hard time but it should certainly take it's toll mentally.  You have to understand and without understanding, you'll have anger and if you don't figure this out now then you'll most likely have this problem again and be back where you started.

I hope this helps. if not, maybe i said some times that may point you in the right direction :smile: good luck


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing


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OfflineFades_to_Black
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Registered: 04/17/06
Posts: 185
Loc: Lynn, the City of Sin
Last seen: 12 years, 11 months
Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5969063 - 08/16/06 10:26 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

The sooner you can forgive and be forgiven, the sooner the pain will reside.


--------------------
With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know. - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

~*Krysta*~


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InvisibleMike_yy
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Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5969117 - 08/16/06 10:52 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BuddahKillah said:
I hate to come on here on complain about how much miserable I am.  I got out of a really bad relationship..




Don't worry about that man i do it all the time,,, :smile:.
If you want an idea of how long you'll feel hurt try going off your past experience, i don't know how much you've had but most people have felt gutted about something before and had to recover.

If i ever feel badly let down and completely caught up in a situation i have to pull myself away from it..
I'll still think about it alot, but by pulling away i mean putting myself in a position where things arn't going to get any worse.

If i do that then in a week or two i'll start feeling alot more optimistic, eating properly and getting out more.

It depends on the individual and situation but time is the best healer, and you will be feeling fine again soon !

:sun:


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Offlinebazzah
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Re: Help [Re: Mike_yy]
    #5970188 - 08/16/06 05:24 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Don't wait for it to pass, make it pass. Excercise and eat healthy. Go out with friends, live life to the fullest!
Usually when I'm depressed, I wait for it to pass and it takes forever. As I wait, i feel more and more helpless because its not passing. So make a concious effort to forget about your depression (not the situation though, everything is a learning experience!). It's like a bad trip, only the efforts of the mind can turn a hellish disaster trip into something beautiful. Its good to take control of your own body sometimes.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5971033 - 08/16/06 08:48 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

If this girl is a worthless bitch...then she's a worthless bitch. Although, you guys were broken up when the dick-sucking happened so you don't have too much to complain about.

If she is being "heartless" then be thankful that she showed her true colors before you got married, had kids, made commitments, etc.. There is nothing worse than getting stuck with somebody that you end up hating.

My advice is to view this relationship going to shit as a blessing...and an impetus to go out and meet new women.


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InvisibleMike_yy
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Re: Help [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5971121 - 08/16/06 09:08 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

You make me laugh, but you are right..

If you got with a girl who's sucking someones dick the minute you've split that's kinda your fault on your decision.
Harsh words but you are better off without her.

Take that " your better off without her " and find yourself some higher ground. Seems like your better than that and you deserve better too.


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OfflineDocPsilocybin
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Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 588
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5971801 - 08/17/06 12:45 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

First off let me just say we've all been there and it passes.

How quickly will it pass? My friend, that is your choice. The sooner you can move on with your own life and rise above her the quicker you'll be happy.

Rely on only yourself. You don't need her to be happy, so why should she make you sad?

Throw yourself into your other interests/hobbies.


Take care.


--------------------
You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
-- Booker T. Washington


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InvisibleBuddahKillah
U WANTFITE!?!?!?!?!?!

Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 1,733
Re: Help [Re: DocPsilocybin]
    #5972211 - 08/17/06 07:25 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Thank you all for you replies. I am starting to come to terms with what has happened. Now all its going to take is me being strong. I keep wanting to talk to her but at the same time... I know I cant do that. It would just turn into the same cycle all over again. Shit like this has happened lots of times before and I'm always a sucker and give her another chance. Then when she fucks me over again... it just hurts even worse. Its my own fault and I know it. Thats what hurts so bad. I know I should have never let it get this far out of hand. Now I love this crazy ass girl. We are broken up and the love is still there. Why!? Why am I so stupid. I'm sure this girl is having no trouble at all getting over this. While I'm sitting here feeling like complete ass. I was a dick to ever take it this far ... and now I'm paying for it ... big time.

but still I realize that not all of this is her fault. I put myself in this situation and I know that. I'm just asking how the hell I can rid myself of this intense pain inside me. I just break down and start crying at times. I feel like I could do what she is doing and just go out and fuck around with other girls but... something inside me tells me thats just not the right thing to do right now. I have pretty much stopped eating because I'm really not hungry at all. You people have to realize I'm not a fucking dumb ass and I can look at all of this and see how stupid it is. I just cant help it. No logical thinking is doing anything at all for me right now. I even have suicidal thoughts at night before I go to bed. (I know I'm not actually going to act on them... but strangely ... they are like a comfort pillow) I have weird ass dreams with her in a lot of them. I just had a fucking nightmare yesterday night (I have not had one since I was a child) I guess I just have to go with what all of you say... and realize its just going to take time. I do feel like I need to call her and tell her that I'm not mad at her. I just cant do that right now... I know I would start crying. I feel like such a pussy.

This is also on top of alot of other stress. I don't have a car right now because, the breaks went out and its going to be 250$ to fix. I have my license's suspended and I have to pay 550$ to get that back. I'm living with a high school friend in a one bedroom apartment. What I'm saying is... I really just need to get my shit together. (this is my part of the realationship getting messed up) I have really bad depression and now this is toping it off. I'm moving to Atlanta GA this weekend to get the fuck out of Florida. There is nothing left for me here and GA will be a fresh start. I'm moving in with a old friend of my moms. He is giving me a job offer doing ac/heating making 12.50 an hour. Its going to suck though because I'm not going to know anyone. I'm not going to have a car for awhile and even when I do... how the fuck am I going to meet new friends??? I'm not a social person. I just dont go up to people on the streets and say "Hey I just moved to ALT ... will you be my friend" How is this going to work? Its such a weird time in my life right now. It seems like the storm is never going to end and I have been in it for a long fucking time now. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? I cant wait to see it.


Edited by BuddahKillah (08/17/06 07:29 AM)


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InvisibleMike_yy
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Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5972512 - 08/17/06 11:03 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

You'll be ok, finding friends happens naturally.
You will bump into people you have things in common with and eventually you will collect afew friends.
I don't have loads of friends but i'm happy with the ones i have, most of them just kinda appeared in my life.

I think half the reason your suffering so much from this girl is because you don't feel like you have much going for you at the moment, so you've been pinning alot on her.
I know people do that anyway but if everything fails and you don't have much to fall back on everything seems 10X worse.

I'll assume you was happier before you met her than you feel now, and you probably felt alot more stable.
You haven't really lost anything, like you say you just need to pull yourself together.
Get things back to normal, only when you do you'll be better off with a lesson learnt and abit more experience behind you.

If you feel stuck in a rut a change of scenery will do you good. That's a new life for you and it'll be what you make it to be, so start fresh and be optimistic.

If you feel like you 'need' to tell her your not mad so you can move on i'd do it, it's always good to avoid leaving a mess behind you if you can tidy things up abit.
Just be careful, if the situation you had together was causing you to suffer slipping back into it could be the worse thing you could do.
After what's she done things would probably be alot harder than they were before and it could turn into a nightmare.

I'd avoid that !.

Tidy up if you feel like you need to then move on, start looking for and organizing things for yourself so you don't feel the need to be so dependant on one person..

Stay optimistic and look forward, in a week or two you'll start feeling better.

:sun:

That's my 2 cents anyway man,, :thumbup:


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5975239 - 08/18/06 06:04 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BuddahKillah said:
Damn, I hate to come on here on complain about how much miserable I am.  I got out of a really bad relationship... by finding out that my girlfriend I have been with for 9 months cheated on me. I  Well, she actually broke up with me for a day... then went out and sucked dick and then  called me the next morning telling me she was so sorry for doing it and she wanted me back. This girl is totally fucking heartless and just... a really fucked up person.  I cant even describe how fucked up this relationship has been for the past month ... now this.  On top off all this I have been really depressed for the past 4-5  months.    I cant sleep.    What can I do to not feel so fucking horrible.  How long will it take me to get over this.  I feel like I should be resting on the anger pillow ... but I cant even do that right now.  All I feel is pain. How long will I feel like this?




For as long as you 'like'.

:confused::thumbup:


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OfflineFades_to_Black
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Re: Help [Re: Gomp]
    #5975260 - 08/18/06 06:28 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

The best thing to do: Don't run away. Running away will NOT solve any of your problems, it will only move them to another place. You may leave your ex behind, but she will always be with you..in your heart, and on your mind. Try talking to her - NOT fighting with her. Girls are very sensitive creatures and are prone to making crazy, unthoughtout decisions. Why don't you sit back and look at everything objectivly and realize that maybe she did mess up, but she is changing. I know that if I were in your place, I'd at least leave the ending open for a continuation when you both have matured a little and have things going for you in your lives. Also, realize that she feels the same way. She probably cries herself to sleep at night for being such a fucking idiot. I bet a call from you would be like a gift from God. If you feel like you can't call her, write her an e-mail. It's the best way to get around the awkward silences.

I hope my advice helps you out.

K.M.B.


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OfflineGrok
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Re: Help [Re: Fades_to_Black]
    #5975566 - 08/18/06 10:47 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Excellent post by leery11.

^I disagree with Fades_to. Run man. Get the hell away. I got out of a bad one about a month ago and running away was the best thing I could have done. Get yourself some fashionable running shoes and RUN like hell. If you go to an unfamiliar place your mind will naturally have much less time to think about 'her' as you will be learning your way around, meeting new people, and working. Yeah it might suck but does your life not suck right now? You can only go up from here.

Get away from that girl. Don't put any faith in her 'changing' because obviously she's not going to. Don't call her. Tell her to NOT call you because you have NOTHING to say to her. Don't have anything to do with her. Get rid of everything she gave you or you associate with her if possible.

The pain passes. You are feeling pain because it is passing. I know how much it sucks. Many of us do. Learn, learn, learn from this. Forgive yourself for making a bad decision and forget about the girl. That's really all you can do. In a few months, ask yourself this: "How would it be if I was still with her?" I bet you will smile knowing how much better off you are.

Best of luck man.


--------------------
Entropy is increasing.
To send me a PM, go to my journal


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InvisibleBuddahKillah
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Registered: 10/15/04
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Re: Help [Re: Fades_to_Black]
    #5976010 - 08/18/06 02:18 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Fades_to_Black said:


I hope my advice helps you out.






No offense Fades_to_Black ... but I don't think your the best person I could be taking advise from right now ...  :wink:


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OfflineGomp
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Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5976127 - 08/18/06 03:05 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BuddahKillah said:
Quote:

Fades_to_Black said:


I hope my advice helps you out.






No offense Fades_to_Black ... but I don't think your the best person I could be taking advise from right now ...  :wink:




And if it did, it would have been indirect? :P


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OfflineFades_to_Black
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Re: Help [Re: BuddahKillah]
    #5983084 - 08/21/06 06:01 AM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Fucker. :smile:


--------------------
With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know. - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

~*Krysta*~


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