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InvisibleKrishna
कृष्ण,LOL
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Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
gah
    #5956499 - 08/12/06 01:09 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

just general frustration at life, and being continually dealt fucked up circumstances.

makes me want to start screwing people over and say fuck it, and live for #1.

or snuff it.

knowing me, though, i'll just suck it up, bitch a lot internally, and hope things eventually make a change for the better,

:crankey:


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
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Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 84,387
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956507 - 08/12/06 01:11 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

:emo:

Smoke some weed. I need some. Fuck. I'm regretting last night. :emo: times 2000000000000000000000


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InvisibleKrishna
कृष्ण,LOL
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Posts: 23,285
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Re: gah [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #5956519 - 08/12/06 01:14 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

you know it.

actually getting high just causes my broken wrist to hurt more. frustrating when nothing seems to work out..


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OfflineCaRnAgECaNdYS
Tool's groupie
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Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956527 - 08/12/06 01:16 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

:hug:


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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956550 - 08/12/06 01:23 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

:heart:


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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
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Registered: 08/19/03
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Re: gah [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #5956561 - 08/12/06 01:25 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

OMG robot, where are you right now?


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: gah [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #5956567 - 08/12/06 01:26 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

In an internet cafe in Berlin, comingdownoff of three hits of acid.


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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleCherryBomM
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Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956568 - 08/12/06 01:26 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Things will make a change for the better.

I think.

I mean, that's pretty much what everyone tells me all the time.  I'm all :crankey: and stuff a lot of the time too lately.

Looking out for #1 isn't about screwing people over.  It's just about self-care.  :heart:


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InvisibleKrishna
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Re: gah [Re: CherryBom]
    #5956605 - 08/12/06 01:33 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

thanks e'rybody.. i know, "life works in mysterious ways" and whatnot

i guess i've been experiencing a few years long lesson of "my intentions, and the actual unfolding of the universe are two distinct fucking notions"

maybe the sooner i realize that, the sooner i can just float with it all- but it seems to contradict every (non-mystical) experience/desire of the human animal


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

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Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956619 - 08/12/06 01:36 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Krishna said:
i guess i've been experiencing a few years long lesson of "my intentions, and the actual unfolding of the universe are two distinct fucking notions"

maybe the sooner i realize that, the sooner i can just float with it all- but it seems to contradict every (non-mystical) experience/desire of the human animal




What'sthe problem right now though? Are your actions not having the effects or achieving the resultsyou want, or are you havingtrouble bringing action to intention? I only ask because that's often my problem.


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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleKrishna
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Registered: 05/08/03
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Re: gah [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #5956678 - 08/12/06 01:53 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

mostly just a general trend of things not working out as intended, not due to my action (or in-action), but largely because of external circumstances (in the past week, my housing situation going from wonderful to potentially fucked b/c my roomates (and very good friends) seem to be going through a shitty breakup, my work - which was already more stressfull than usual due to a bunch of external circumstances - getting even moreso because of a fucking stick getting caught in my bike's spokes, causing me to break my arm , etc etc)

i don't mean to sound like "oh i've got all these problems and none are my fault" - of course, i can see an inter-connectedness in all if my actions to the world they create around me, and thus my own responsibility for it. it just seems that the more i try to be conscious of my actions, my intentions, and the desired outcomes, the more crazy fucking shit that pops up as external variables in the equation.


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956685 - 08/12/06 01:55 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Just gotta navigate that shit man and that's what you're doing. It's all just flotsam and jetsam, sometimes you get so surrounded by it you lose sight of the current, but eventually your stroke comes back.

I hope it's not cliche to say "everything is going to be okay" because I sincerely feel as such.


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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
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Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956687 - 08/12/06 01:55 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

It's easy to get down and let life run you down like a steamroller, really easy. Shit happened to me for years. You need to remember that YOU have the power; follow your heart, live as you wish.....it is your life, don't let it be shitty. (easier said then done I realize.....but very possible.) good luck!


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InvisibleKrishna
कृष्ण,LOL
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Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
Re: gah [Re: Dark_Star]
    #5956708 - 08/12/06 02:05 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

what worries me is, i feel i've been making a solid effort over the past few years to be aware and conscious of what i'm doing, what my heart wants, what my mind wants, what my body wants, etc - and it seems to keep shooting me in the foot via external circumstances. almost makes me want to not be conscious of my actions and thoughts, as doing so has only brought me strife thru forcing me to realize how & why shit keeps falling down.

omr - :hug: i know you mean it, brother, and thanks for the kind words


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InvisibleDark_Star
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Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956716 - 08/12/06 02:07 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Life isn't easy, that's for sure. What works for one person doesn't work for everybody. I wish I could be of more help to you brother.


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,024
Loc: the sky
Re: gah [Re: Krishna]
    #5956721 - 08/12/06 02:08 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Krishna said:
what worries me is, i feel i've been making a solid effort over the past few years to be aware and conscious of what i'm doing, what my heart wants, what my mind wants, what my body wants, etc - and it seems to keep shooting me in the foot via external circumstances. almost makes me want to not be conscious of my actions and thoughts, as doing so has only brought me strife thru forcing me to realize how & why shit keeps falling down.

omr - :hug: i know you mean it, brother, and thanks for the kind words




It's like two choices lay before you...march on, or become jaded. But there's sooooo much middle ground.  Don't be afraid of lookingout for #1.  #1 is damn important. He's everything you have in this world, your one shot in this construct of the cosmos, give him your fucking all! Within moderation, of course.


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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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Offlinenotapillow
I want to be a fisherman
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Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: gah [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #5956761 - 08/12/06 02:31 PM (17 years, 5 months ago)

krish!
damn man that blows. life can be a cruel roll of the dice.
but i know you will make it through this
you are one of the good ones. this has been clear to me since i met you. :gd_icon:
life always seems harder when you cannot blame anyone.
this past year i was really struggeling to get my education over with. and then right as the finish line was in sight i was robbed of all my shit. personal and school. it made me implode inside. i wanted to kill myself but diddnt have the drive to even get up and do it.
dont worry bro. its all coming around
coming
coming
coming around
coming around in a circle :gd_icon:
feel better man :smile:


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