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DNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
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If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy
#5947547 - 08/09/06 02:14 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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There's no way around it. America is getting more and more dumbed down every day. I suggest a class that will help everybody in their younger years: Beat Down 101. You come to class, you get beat down and verbally abused for a good 15 minutes, then you leave.
This is a long article:
Should we let kids feel exclusion's sting? Some question move to protect children from disappointment, failure
CNN.com AP) -- Penny Grossman cringes each time a student mentions a birthday party during class at her Boston, Massachusetts-area preschool. The rule there, and at a growing number of America's schools, is that parties and play-dates shouldn't be discussed unless every child in the room is invited.
Gone are the days when a kindergartner dropped a handful of party invites in the classroom cubbyholes of their closest buddies. Today, if anyone is excluded the invitations can't be handed out at school.
The idea that protecting kids from rejection is crucial to safeguarding their self-esteem has gained momentum in recent years.
Take Valentine's Day: At some schools, a second-grader can't offer paper valentines or heart-shaped candies to a short list of pals and secret crushes anymore. They give cards to everyone or no one at all.
Or sports: In many towns, scorekeeping no longer happens at soccer or softball games played by kids under 8 or 9. Win or lose, every player in the league gets a trophy at the season's end.
As with many child-rearing trends, some parents and educators see wisdom where others spot foolishness. Many see a mixture of both.
"You try and do things gently when they're little because it is still hard," says Grossman, who is raising two teenagers while teaching preschool. "But I think this is a problem, and it's a growing one, because kids grow up and have this inflated sense of self-worth. Whether they earn anything, it's always a trophy. They have no sense that you have to work hard for some things."
Susan Reel, a mother of two living in Madison, Connecticut, doesn't see a downside to inviting the whole class to a birthday party.
"When they're in first and second grade, their friends are so day-to-day. It's who they played with yesterday," she says. "So to pick one or the other is shortsighted on the parents' part."
She believes that schools are paying more attention to children's feelings because they understand better today the damage done when a small group of kids is consistently excluded.
"When we went to school, people were bullied. Now we know kids have a much greater instance of suicide and depression when they've been bullied," she says.
Jolie Nichols, also a mother of two, disagrees. She believes kids in her Minneapolis neighborhood would benefit from competing for a trophy or handling a mild bit of rejection.
"It's just natural and it's realistic to have to deal with these things," she says. At her 7-year-old daughter's gymnastics class, everyone receives the same ribbon or medal for their performance, regardless of how well they've done.
Rather than imparting self-esteem, some experts believe this gives kids an unhealthy sense of entitlement.
"Self-esteem comes from those feelings you have about yourself for a job well done, for when you have achieved something," says Dr. Georgette Constantinou, administrative director of pediatric psychiatry at Akron Children's Hospital in Ohio. "It's not something you pour into your children."
She feels that many parents aren't equipping their kids to manage basic challenges.
"How do you expect them to handle life's big bumps if they haven't experienced the little ones?" she asks.
No one disagrees that disappointment is real: There are contests we all lose, parties we're excluded from. But what motivates so many parents to postpone that reality until their children reach the age of 10 or beyond?
For one thing, kids' lives are so tightly scheduled today that we're enrolling smaller and smaller children in organized activities. It may be true that 6-year-olds aren't ready to handle losing a T-Ball championship; a generation ago, 6-year-olds wouldn't have even been playing team sports.
Parents may also be reacting to their own economic and career stress by trying to protect their kids from it.
"This group is balancing things that previous generations haven't had to balance," says Constantinou. "The number of women in the work force is phenomenal, probably the largest since the war years, so you have a lot more stressed parents."
Busy parents turn to schools and other care-givers for help, says Mike Sanchez, co-owner of Camp Innovation, a Houston, Texas-area day camp. It does offer competitive games, but also gives each camper an award each week.
"I tell counselors, always find something specific about the kids," Sanchez says. "It helps with parents who say they may not be cleaning at home or working well with a brother or sister. We work on it, and then give them an award for best spirit of the week, best cleaner of the week."
Critics of the trend worry about a generation of kids who haven't experienced rejection or failure -- especially compared with countries such as China and Japan, where a focus on competition defines the lives of many children.
Learning to compete, says Nichols, is vital. "It sets them up for real life things like a job," she says. "It helps people develop their skills."
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Hank, FTW
Looking for the Answer

Registered: 05/04/06
Posts: 3,912
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD]
#5947617 - 08/09/06 02:43 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is fucking insane! Penny Grossman eh...hmmmmmmm she was probably picked on as a child. GROSSMAN, GROSSMAN, YOUR A GROSS MAN.
-------------------- Capliberty: "I'll blow the hinges off your freakin doors with my trips, level 5 been there, I personally like x, bud, acid and shroom oj, altogether, do that combination, and you'll meet some morbid figures, lol Hell yeah I push the limits and hell yeah thats fucking cool, dope, bad ass and all that, I'm not changing shit, I'm cutting to to the chase and giving u shroom experience report. Real trippers aren't afraid to go beyond there comfort zone "
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Silversoul
Rhizome


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Loc: The Barricades
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD]
#5947633 - 08/09/06 02:46 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm going to sue all you bastards for not inviting me to your birthdays. You hurt my feelings.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD] 1
#5947676 - 08/09/06 03:04 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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What a joke. Competition, winning, and losing are all perfectly normal and healthy. How will kids turn out with idiotic policies like this? What will happen when they face the real world and they can't handle it?
Stuff like this makes me want to barf.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD]
#5947688 - 08/09/06 03:09 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
DNKYD said: Beat Down 101.
I'm teaching my son to punch you in the nose
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DNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: Prisoner#1] 1
#5947692 - 08/09/06 03:11 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Good. Teach that little nancy that not everybody is going to invite him to their parties, he won't be everybody's friend, and a lot of the times shit doesn't work out like they want it to.
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StackedMAK90
Stranger
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD] 1
#5948330 - 08/09/06 06:45 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Its totally up to the parents
There is no one way my kid will grow up not experiencing that "life indeed IS NOT FAIR"
Keeping the "truth" from someone only makes them more naive and vunerable when older
I know i've met girls that are my age 25 and have the street smarts of a 12 year old, I mean they are CLUELESS to the world around them Sheltered and kept away from everything "dirty" in the world
Hit rock bottom then work your way back up
Experience it all and be stronger for it
I think
-jon
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD]
#5948388 - 08/09/06 07:07 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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but you're wrong, everyone will envy him, they will want to be his friend and he will snub them, it's his party, in fact they'll all be his parties
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PinballWizard
Naive and Gullible as usual

Registered: 03/20/04
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD]
#5948749 - 08/09/06 08:57 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
DNKYD said: "You try and do things gently when they're little because it is still hard," says Grossman, who is raising two teenagers while teaching preschool. "But I think this is a problem, and it's a growing one, because kids grow up and have this inflated sense of self-worth. Whether they earn anything, it's always a trophy. They have no sense that you have to work hard for some things."
I think that will be a big problem. Later on in life, when the kids find out they don't succeed by just participating, they will set their sites lower. Then they will take small factory or city jobs and start a family (not that there's anything wrong with that) without really accomplishing anything. Just like the government wants it. Hats on, everyone.
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apfrommsp
Just a box ofrain

Registered: 07/17/06
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: PinballWizard]
#5948789 - 08/09/06 09:07 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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this is why you smack your kids around instead of giving them a timeout
-------------------- "It's a joke. Greed and the desire to take drugs are two separate things. If you want to separate the two, the thing you do is make drugs legal. Accept the reality that people do want to change their consciousness, and make an effort to make safer, healthier drugs."
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AlteredAgain
Visual Alchemist


Registered: 04/27/06
Posts: 11,181
Loc: Solar Circuit
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD]
#5948864 - 08/09/06 09:35 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Life lived fully is dangerous.
These kids are already half-dead.
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mellowrubberduck
NDE on 7/8/06


Registered: 06/11/06
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Loc: Pennsylvania, USA
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: AlteredAgain]
#5948954 - 08/09/06 09:58 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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From the perspective of not having a kid, I can't imagine one set standard, one perfect way to raise a kid. There are so many situations and so many solutions, and even if you raise them the way you think is right, they could still turn up the complete opposite of what you expected. Raising children is tough. Kudos to my parents for bringing me up level headed.
But, everybody needs to learn discipline at an early age. Simply telling them to not talk or move for five minutes, I don't think is the trick. Everyone needs to learn rejection at an early age too, because once a little kid sees that doing one thing produces a negative consequence, they will do another thing until the consequence is positive. But I'm no psychologist and have no idea how to teach social skills.
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: mellowrubberduck]
#5950001 - 08/10/06 09:48 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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I already decided in the unlikely event I have a child, it will be homeschooled and have no friends or television. Or a television with only the History Channel and the Science Channel not blocked. Hopefully by then commercials will be skippable.
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Boom
just a tester

Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: bukkake] 1
#5950017 - 08/10/06 09:56 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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home schooled kids are weird
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: Boom]
#5950028 - 08/10/06 10:01 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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I know. It'll be great. The last thing I'd want is my offspring to be normal and a fan of MTV.
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Boom
just a tester

Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: bukkake] 1
#5950032 - 08/10/06 10:05 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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yeah but they'd have serious issues with no friends or social interaction.
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zSDMF
Stranger


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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: Boom]
#5950040 - 08/10/06 10:10 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Booooom said: yeah but they'd have serious issues with no friends or social interaction.
its okay cause they wont know any different
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DoctorJ


Registered: 06/30/03
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DNKYD]
#5950075 - 08/10/06 10:34 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
DNKYD said: There's no way around it. America is getting more and more dumbed down every day. I suggest a class that will help everybody in their younger years: Beat Down 101. You come to class, you get beat down and verbally abused for a good 15 minutes, then you leave.
After that, the kids could come to "DoctorJ's Black Trenchcoat Mafia 101"
This class would consist of how-to guides for constructing home-made pipe-bombs and stealing daddy's shotgun to take revenge on eitist jock bullies and cheerleader pricks at school.
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EmperorKuzco
somewhatfamiliar

Registered: 02/13/06
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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: DoctorJ] 1
#5951184 - 08/10/06 04:56 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was very sheltered in my grade school years by my Mom, who always told me I was special and gifted. She always told me to use my words when I was picked on, but now I wish she had told me to kick some ass after school.
Seriously, no one is special or gifted at that age. You have to earn it, and you can't do that with parents blowing sunshine up your ass. Kids need a hard dose of reality and they need to not be sheltered from the real world by parents who think they can't handle it.
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AngeloWish
Sr. Mydriasis

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Re: If you have a kid in the next few years it will grow up to be a big pussy [Re: EmperorKuzco] 1
#5951214 - 08/10/06 05:10 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
ids need a hard dose of reality and they need to not be sheltered from the real world by parents who think they can't handle it.
That's just it.
-------------------- +'this' reality is the one i like the most+
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