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 Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Unconditional love means never having to say you cleaned the computer room. 
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 fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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 Re: Our Cultural Programming  [Re: Veritas]
#5926799 - 08/02/06 08:44 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Yeah but it is something that is nice to know. 
   
Peace. 
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If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
  
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bobjones
...
Registered: 10/12/05
Posts: 999
Loc: Tx
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Our Cultural Programming [Re: Icelander]
#5927626 - 08/03/06 01:22 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
I don't know if forgiveness is the right word. Maybe acceptance is more correct. I accept that my parents did the best they could for me. I also accept that their best wasn't any good. In the end I wished them well on their journey and I let go of them as much as I am able.
i went through the same stage with my parents. for the longest time i resented them for how they raised me. but then i started thinking not just about their relationship with me, i started thinking back to the other relationships they had in their lives...before me. how their parents raised them, previous marriages, stressful times in their life...etc...
i realized that from my perspective it seemed like they did a lousy job, but from their perspective they were doing the only job they knew how to. as it had been programmed into them from the accumulation of their life experiences.
and then i started thinking...well what if they would have done it differently, would i still be the same person i am today? if everything would have been perfect between us, would i still have made the same choices? even though at the time in my short sightedness it wasn't very pleasant, looking back i'm glad it all happened because i'm glad with what it made me into.
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"Outside of a dog a book is a man's friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read"
-Groucho Marx
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Quote:
I am going to go do some cleaning.
I've been thinking I need a cleaning lady. Preferably good looking and speaks both Spanish and English. I will call her Juanita. She will be a fierce warrior cleaning lady devoid of personal history and who won't want to speak too much English to discuss mine. She will be of legal age and good looking. And, she will also cook, garden, do laundry and various other tasks. She will love to travel, have fun and be easy to be around. Also, she will like to have sex on a regular basis. And here's the tough part - she will not have any kids yet!
Yes. This is my quest. I am wondering if match.com or one of those soul mate type web sites will help, or if I should just start driving to Mexico... 
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Anxiety is what you make it.
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BlueCoyote
Beyond
Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: Our Cultural Programming [Re: LunarEclipse]
#5928992 - 08/03/06 03:57 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Simply pay her enough.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Our Cultural Programming [Re: BlueCoyote]
#5929115 - 08/03/06 04:45 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I am not sure I can find such a cleaning lady, let alone "simply pay her enough."
For all the talk of illegal aliens working cheaply, the reality at least where I live is that they consider $ 10 an hour to be an insult. The cleaning lady that is licensed wants $ 17 an hour. So I am not sure what enough would be for Juanita.
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Anxiety is what you make it.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Our Cultural Programming [Re: LunarEclipse]
#5929593 - 08/03/06 07:44 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I've been thinking I need a cleaning lady.
A man needs a maid.
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Re: Our Cultural Programming [Re: Icelander]
#5929852 - 08/03/06 09:40 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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I can see why you feel that your parent's best was not enough, but even though I have experienced bitterness against my parents at one time, I eventually saw that what my parents gave me was enough. It was enough to send me searching for the means to awaken myself from the dream that comprises our consensual reality. As you have told me countless times...they gave me exactly what I needed at that time. I grew up discontented and disenfranchised which is what set me out searching for a path with heart. Did I see my parents relationship as being so negative that I should discontinue my association with them? No. Ultimately I had everything that I needed and they do (in the end) accept me for what I am and what I choose to do with my life. I owe them nothing, but they demand nothing....not even my presence, but I do have affection for them and it pleases me to see them and interact with them on occasion. They are quite self sufficient and give to me much more than they have ever taken. Had I suffered serious emotional or physical abuse at their hands I would feel differently, but I did not. In hindsight I realized that most of the suffering that I experienced was based in a distorted self image that was formed in rebellion to their program. I am no longer a rebel, and nor am I a conformist either. I strive to be unconcerned with "the dream" as much as possible except where it suits me in order to acheive my goals. I also take solace in the fact that whatever I have given my children that it was exactly what they needed. When they leave my house it is with complete freedom...freedom to walk away forever, or the freedom to stop in and say hello every now and again...as it suits them.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Our Cultural Programming [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
#5932302 - 08/04/06 06:16 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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In the sense you are speaking, yes we all get just what we need. I'm not looking at it in that sense here. I'm looking into the relationship itself and seeing it for what it is. Jesus once said something about leaving parents behind if one wants a certain type of path. I don't think he was speaking of parents in particular but of a situation. It's up to each of us what kind of path we will take and how much challenge we are willing to undertake to pursue that path to it's farthest reaches. Attachments are subtle and at times almost invisible to the conscious awareness. That's exactly why we often feel like we were asleep in some past situation, when at the time we felt we understood everything. The idea is to look at the situation and base your actions on your present and real needs. That's the challenge.
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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