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Offlinekosmic_charlie
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Job Interviews
    #5923799 - 08/02/06 01:39 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I hate them.

I applied for an internal position the other day that pays a little better and is basically a step or two up from what I do now. It's a bit more "professional" and I'm ready to take on that challenge. I know I have the skills and qualifications to do well in the position.

Well today at work I had a screening interview on the phone with some lady from human recources way out in New York City. I don't think it went too well. I get all tongue tied knowing that every word I say is measured with such weight and the bullshit doesn't flow like I want it to. Which leads me to my rant:

Succeeding in a job interview means you have to be the biggest bullshitter of the other candidates. The usual questions like "Where do you see yourself in a couple years?" and "What is your greatest weekness?" seem so silly. There have got to be better ways of finding the right person for the job. Whenever I have an interview I know I can do the job WELL and have a positive attitude about it, etc. but I can never get the point accross in the traditional interview setting.

I've lost a lot of good opportunities because I failed to suck the interviewer's dick. The inner workings of corporate America's hiring procedures frustrate me because they're just so alien to a person like myself. Come to think of it, everything about corporate America seems alien to me. But that's not to say I can't do the job! When it all comes down to it I just need the bread...


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Goin' where the water tastes like wine.


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Registered: 10/20/05
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #5923809 - 08/02/06 01:43 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

You need your own bidniss brother


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:orly:



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Offlinekosmic_charlie
Truckin' in style
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5923827 - 08/02/06 01:46 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah you're right I've been thinking a lot about that. I will most likely end up working for myself. Lot's of legitimate (legal) ideas have been churning in my head lately.


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Goin' where the water tastes like wine.


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #5923835 - 08/02/06 01:48 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

That's how it all begins. Best of luck with that, you'll love it!


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Invisiblekake
The answer to1984 is 1776.
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5923891 - 08/02/06 02:08 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I've been taught the answer to 'where do you see yourself in ___ years" is  this:

"Well, I think if I were offered the position, a 6-month and a 1-year review of my performance would be the best way to decide where my skills fit most within the company"  or something along those lines...its kinda a cop out, but i think its a good answer.

of course, i have no job interview experience, but ive been reading a few books lately on the subject :smile:

it shows you want to stay with the company and aren't saying anything thats going to hurt your chances.


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The answer to 1984 is 1776.


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OfflineMicrocosmatrix
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kake]
    #5923904 - 08/02/06 02:11 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

In 5 years I wanna be a roadie for Phil Lesh!


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:orly:



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InvisibleLiquidkick
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Registered: 05/03/02
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #5924139 - 08/02/06 03:15 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Funny i am taking a required class right now about interviewing and resume stuff in order for me to gradumacate with a BS in biz.

Its all about this stuff. Getting you prepared and such.

BTW, its not about how good you are on paper, its about how you fit with the company.

Its all about interviewing, we learned that 95% of the time they do not choose the best person on paper. They choose based on how you answer the questions and the fit in the company, and how you deal with the questions.


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: Microcosmatrix]
    #5924144 - 08/02/06 03:18 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I think you are looking at this the wrong way. You see it as a bad thing to even be there. You feel like you have to prove yourself by sucking up to the interviewer. It's no wonder that you are blowing it.

Look at it as an oppurtunity. Know that you are the right guy for the job. Simply explain why to the interviewer. He is not judging you. He is deciding whether or not you are right for the job. Ofcourse, he has to use his judgement to do that, but there are different connotations.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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InvisibleAfroshroomerican
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: Liquidkick]
    #5924145 - 08/02/06 03:19 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I totally agree.

The funniest shit was when I applied at walmart partime just to earn some cash in school and stuff.

They have you sit down infront of a computer and answer like 100 questions on "what would you do in this situation" . 

Then in the interview they ask you similar questions again.

I'm like dude I just ring pplz shit up and take money I'm not invitin' em over for milk and cookies and shit :mypleasure:


--------------------
"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."

~Martin Luther King Jr.~

<passitbobbie> if I just showed you a closeup of my ass
<passitbobbie> youd think it was female

"You owe errrbody up in here an apology fow youwe shit, HO!" - classic


Edited by Afroshroomerican (08/02/06 03:19 AM)


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: Liquidkick]
    #5924152 - 08/02/06 03:22 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

i bomb every interview because i lack social skills. I know i can do the job 10x better than anyone there but like he said above you have to bullshit your way threw an interview.

i feel now...the key to getting threw an interview it to just lie about everything...it makes it much more easier to answer them.

where do you see yourself in a year?

ill be married with 4 kids, i will have been threw college degree, promoted and you will have been fired..im sorry but thats just how good i ma.


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #5924156 - 08/02/06 03:28 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

makaveli8x8 said:
i bomb every interview because i lack social skills. I know i can do the job 10x better than anyone there but like he said above you have to bullshit your way threw an interview.

i feel now...the key to getting threw an interview it to just lie about everything...it makes it much more easier to answer them.

where do you see yourself in a year?

ill be married with 4 kids, i will have been threw college degree, promoted and you will have been fired..im sorry but thats just how good i ma.



Negative, bullshit logic will lead to negative, bullshit actions.

Play a game with your life if you want. I suggest having unwavering confidence in yourself and doing your best.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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InvisibleFunkyLoFi
Existing

Registered: 07/18/05
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #5924158 - 08/02/06 03:28 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

One of my roomates just graduated with his BS. He had to do a shit ton of long ass phone interviews (almost an hour long for some) for a few jobs he was applying for. He said they sucked really bad and he felt that he did poorly on the firt couple he did. So he came up with a solution. He sat done and wrote out answers to the questions they commonly asked. Then he taped the pages to the wall in front of his desk. Then when he did the interviews, he had what he wanted to say right in front of him. That way he didn't have to take time to think about it, he already knew what to say. I thought it was a good idea. And it worked, cause he landed a job in Dallas making $45K a year.


--------------------
All the people you knew were the actors


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InvisibleAfroshroomerican
Oprah's Minion
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Registered: 05/12/06
Posts: 891
Loc: Pennsylvania
Re: Job Interviews [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #5924165 - 08/02/06 03:31 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

hobbitcg said:
Quote:

makaveli8x8 said:
i bomb every interview because i lack social skills. I know i can do the job 10x better than anyone there but like he said above you have to bullshit your way threw an interview.

i feel now...the key to getting threw an interview it to just lie about everything...it makes it much more easier to answer them.

where do you see yourself in a year?

ill be married with 4 kids, i will have been threw college degree, promoted and you will have been fired..im sorry but thats just how good i ma.



Negative, bullshit logic will lead to negative, bullshit actions.

Play a game with your life if you want. I suggest having unwavering confidence in yourself and doing your best.






--------------------
"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."

~Martin Luther King Jr.~

<passitbobbie> if I just showed you a closeup of my ass
<passitbobbie> youd think it was female

"You owe errrbody up in here an apology fow youwe shit, HO!" - classic


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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #5924598 - 08/02/06 08:56 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

You probably did better than you think. Each word you say is not being weighed and analyzed.

I hate those meaningless interview questions too, and I've found that the jobs that suck are the ones where the interviewer asks those canned, corporate questions.

All they are trying to do is see how you respond to the questions compared to how others respond. They aren't looking for any particular answers, they're just trying to get an idea of who you are.

Regardless, being a good bullshitter rarely helps people in interviews IMHO. Even for an idiot interviewer, BS is easy to detect, and dishonest employees are exactly what they're trying to weed out.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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Invisiblebadchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,112
Re: Job Interviews [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #5925018 - 08/02/06 12:56 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Interviewing and presenting yourself is a skill. Just like other things, it will come with practice.

A phone interview is very easy, and very low pressure relative to other types of job interviews. Perhaps you should take a class or seminar on the subject?


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...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


Edited by badchad (08/02/06 01:01 PM)


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #5925021 - 08/02/06 12:58 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

kosmic_charlie said:
I hate them.





they arent that bad, be confident, dont leave without knowing you have the job

I have one friday, I have the job


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OfflineAztec03
Stop that itchnow!
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Registered: 04/25/06
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Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Re: Job Interviews [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #5925111 - 08/02/06 01:31 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Heh, pro's of working at a dead end gas station is that my interview consisted of "Don't mind the heat, don't mind the rain, just follow the schedule, and you start tomorrow."

Been working there for four years now.


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Offlineeris
underground
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #5925112 - 08/02/06 01:32 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

I've only been to one interview where they said they would call me.
Every other one has hired me after the interview.
I hate the ones that say they will be calling you or whatever. What do you say in response to that?


--------------------
Immortal / Temporarily Retired
The OG Thread Killer
My mushroom hunting gallery


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Invisiblegoobler
Reanimated
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #5925132 - 08/02/06 01:38 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

no, I still need to see if you can balance a beer glass on your head...

man you're cocky


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OfflineXUL
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Re: Job Interviews [Re: kosmic_charlie]
    #5925143 - 08/02/06 01:43 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

mmm.. I got an interview at perkins today. For a dishwashing job. I think ill get the job.


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TRUMP 2020


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