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BlindLemon
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Registered: 04/20/06
Posts: 628
Loc: so cal
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: BlindLemon]
#5950473 - 08/10/06 12:38 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Oh and, you sound a lot like me in many ways.
Here is another thing to remember.
The Beginning is always exciting, new and fresh. But this is only because one dose not have any perspective yet, so there for, at The Beginning one is ignorant of every thing, which is blissful…
The Experience. The Experience can be good or bad and every thing in-between. But because The Experience is present, one does not have time to judge or view what one is currently doing. So therefore The Experience is not very hard to deal with.
The End, The last and hardest of the three. In the End one can look and judge ones self. At the end there is only time to look at ones self. This can be very hard and painful. But The End also can be the best thing in this world. The End leads to… letting go. Every one is good at The Beginning, but many don’t know how to END.
Remember when you dropped all your papers all over the floor? Did you get really mad and make your self un happy? Or did you acknowledge it as a accident and then calmly pick them up and not judge your self for just making a silly mistake???
Of course some times I get really mad at myself. But I learned to not let things like that ruin my mood. Why should I let it? There’s no reason too…
Learn to let your past be the past.
Observe, then let go.
I hope this helps, it helped me.
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Im a fucking spiral..
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BlindLemon
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Registered: 04/20/06
Posts: 628
Loc: so cal
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5950499 - 08/10/06 12:45 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
RandalFlagg said:
I will never be a very happy person, but maybe I can be a somewhat happy person.
You can be the happiest and most content person in the world, any one can, its all in your head.
Your putting walls up. Stop. Take them down.
Take pleasure in your existance.
I guess the reason I have said so much, is because I used to be just like you in many ways.
And my parents have split up twice.
Just keep on keeping on...
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Im a fucking spiral..
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daimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
Last seen: 12 years, 22 hours
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: TheHateCamel]
#5951283 - 08/10/06 05:33 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
TheHateCamel said: That's not so bad.
At least your capable of critical introspection.
That means your also capable of consciously changing your behavior.
Shit, I assume the majority of people are much more fucked up than you Randal.
I assume that the views held by most people and the behavior of most people are being influenced by morbid and perverse factors that they can't even being to recognize and wouldn't care much about if they did.
That about sums it up. Know you're no worse off than most, and look to change yourself for the better. Take some acid or mushrooms or maybe even X and hash it all out.
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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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fredyjenkins
Stranger
Registered: 10/30/04
Posts: 127
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: daimyo]
#5951360 - 08/10/06 05:53 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Dude, i feel alot like you do. You know what? I dont talk to friends about my issues, just like you. And my close relatives? nah..
If you have a confortable life and all, why dont you engage yourself in psychotherapy? Well, that's what i'm doing and it helps! Step by step and everything. You see the psychologist once a week even when everything's fine so when things go wrong, the guy knows you alot. When you feel like sleeping your days away and throw your school/job out of the window, your therapist is there to help you yourslef to sort it out. It's a kind of : '' ok, so, where am i right now, where im going, what it goog and what is bad, until next week i commit to do this, this and this, i'll see you next week''.
You are introspective enough to see from where your flaws come from and that's great. Print this post, find a psychologist you are confotable with and give him the printed paper. Then have a chat with him. Well, for me, it works great!
-------------------- -English is not my native language. So im not retarded, i'm just not very engligh articulate. Please forgive me for my bad writing! Thank you!
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: fredyjenkins]
#5951711 - 08/10/06 07:25 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Again I would like to say thank you for the replies and advice everyone. It is appreciated.
daimyo: I am seriously thinking that some E would help me out immeasurably. Everybody that I know who has had some problems and taken it was able to work through a lot of shit.
fredy: I tried a psychiatrist once. She put me on anti-depressants and it was not a fun experience. Also, I don't think that talking to a therapist will work. I know what all of my faults and problems are...I just need to figure out how to fix them. I think I need to figure it out on my own.
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Silent_Vinny
Stranger

Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5960833 - 08/13/06 10:08 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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....and a colorful pill of some pure, magical mdma would do just that. Solve it on your own.
Remember to love it all.
Happy Flying.
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5961608 - 08/14/06 02:16 AM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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At least you can trace your issues
I have no idea why I am who I am
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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MTL
Stranger
Registered: 07/05/06
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Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5963541 - 08/14/06 05:41 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hey im new here and I just want to say Thank You Randal. Honestly it actually scares me to read your post because its as if I was reading something I wrote. By writing this you have showed me that im not alone and it gives me hope. I hate myself even more because I have cancer and im allmost done fighting it and I still feel the same. I do appreciate life a lot more but I still feel the same way about myself and now I have a fear that my cancer is not gone or it will come back. This stuff is eating away at me and I really have trouble expressing emotions. Your story helped me though and I will take it as a sign to help improve myself. Maybe ill post again and try and explain my situation a bit better. It feels good to get this out of me and have someone who truly understands read it.
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Hyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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Re: Something is wrong with me [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5964710 - 08/14/06 11:36 PM (17 years, 5 months ago) |
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One more thing, you show shades of anti-personality disorder, if that helps
-------------------- There is no valid reason you should be reading this
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