I love how a high doses of mushrooms tend to lean on the universal side of learning as opposed to the introspective side. Most of the time, my trips on mushrooms tend to have a theme to them, and this one was no different. It has been 16 months since my last trip and I decided to ingest 3 (dried) grams of subs (these are roughly twice as powerful as mushies in the states, convert 3.5 grams in the states= 1.5 grams in Australia)
Right after college class I hopped on a train and rode it to Mt Waverly. I ate them on the train and by the time I got off, I was already coming up. Surprisingly, no stomach aches.
AS I found a tree I closed my eyes and drifted. My body moved to the same pulse as the objects around me. I laid down under a tree and slept. When I came to, I was surrounded by numbers.
1..2..3..4..everything was in glowing fashion. As I was being pulled, my body would "hit" these numbers and those would propel me to another number. Each time hitting different numbers, quite fun! From there these numbers led me to a stream, glistening under the sun, the soothing sound of water caressing my ears. I realized that the stream reflected my mood and was thankful for the guidance I received from the free floating digits.
I realized my theme, free will. Here I was being guided, a thought popped in my head. Where did it come from? Had 'I' decided to have that thought, or did it just happen? If I had decided to have that thought, then I would also have to decide to decide to have that thought, an infinite loop that doesn't make much sense.
So thoughts do come about randomly, and by random I mean no control. Furthermore, I realized the numbers were symbolic (being symbols in and of themselves he he) that there are indeed strings attached to my being...but there is a catch!!!
It has to deal with the mood. Sure the thoughts happen at random, but the type of thoughts aren't as such. My mood, how I chose to receive reality, affects the types of thoughts that I shall have. Furthermore, they effect the numbers I shall bump into, and thus where they propel me. So the act of thinking isn't of my own volition, but how and the amount of thinking definitely is, and this has an effect on how much and what types of thought come out.
'so which is the chicken and which is the egg?' i thought to myself. 'I thought to myself' I thought to myself...see how language implies the free will of thinking? As this loop went into my head, I slowly began to no longer think, funny how paradoxes shut the head right up!
Did i shut myself up, or did something uttered that was nonsense, do the trick? It just happens, doesn't it...the mind goes blank. Nothing to say, realizing everything that has been said has already been said (the irony of this post)...
free will....yes and no.
-------------------- Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.
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