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rod
Ψ


Registered: 06/29/05
Posts: 3,727
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Funny one liners.
#5915650 - 07/30/06 05:09 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I found these one liners today. Thoughts someone might get a laugh. 
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest just before the dawn. So, if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, thats the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable. . If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. I
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Duct tape is like The Force - it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together..
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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AA2277
Resident DiphHead


Registered: 05/06/06
Posts: 699
Last seen: 16 years, 1 month
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Re: Funny one liners. [Re: rod]
#5915689 - 07/30/06 05:20 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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strangly enough, there at least 10 different versions of lyrics i find for "i scream for ice cream"
wierd, huh...
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Madtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers


Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 21,287
Loc: The Ocean of Notions
Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
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Re: Funny one liners. [Re: AA2277]
#5916587 - 07/30/06 09:22 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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alot of those have more than one line.
thats false fucking advertising.
-------------------- After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action. If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it. - Ernest Hemingway If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent. -Cormac MacCarthy He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus
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