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Fractalated
There's no onehome up there...

Registered: 07/22/06
Posts: 640
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Relaxing around people
#5912781 - 07/29/06 06:18 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I find that in real life, I have difficulty really relaxing and having fun around people that I'm not close to. With my close friends, it's fine, I trust them deeply and have no problem opening up to them or relaxing with them. With people who I know but am not that close to, I find myself unable to really relax or trust them deeply.
It's as though there's some part of me that stays on edge and overanalyses situations with people I'm not that close with.
Soon I'll be off to a different school where I don't know anyone, and I'm worried because this feeling will probably intensify and I'll just feel awkward around everyone.
I can make friends just fine, but it usually takes a little while. Sure, drugs and alcohol help act as social lubricants, but I don't want to rely on intoxication to relax around people. Are there any tricks that help you relax around people you don't really know or aren't that close with?
-------------------- "Now that the principalities and the powers stockpile weapons of mass destruction, contaminate the earth with their feverish industry, release floods of images to trigger insatiable desires, treat animals and humans as commodities and functions of a market, the devil must be grinning from ear to ear."
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: Relaxing around people [Re: Fractalated]
#5912793 - 07/29/06 06:23 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Welcome to the club. I'm no social butterfly either.
One day I'll have my game going and everything's clicking. I can make people laugh, be social, have fun, and all of that stuff. The next day I feel completely awkward around people and I need to be alone.
I've given up on trying to change. This is how I am.
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The_Hobbit
Bilbo Baggins


Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 1,382
Loc: The Shire
Last seen: 16 years, 10 months
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Re: Relaxing around people [Re: RandalFlagg]
#5912899 - 07/29/06 07:08 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Posture has alot to do with it.
Relaxing is sometimes a process. You may feel like it's a struggle to stay engaged for a while, but then things become easier.
Basically, you want to stay relaxed as possible, breathing normally and such. One thing I found that helps alot is to be aware. You know how sometimes people will kindof look away during a conversation because they are not ready to look at you in the eyes? Well, if you are aware from start to finish, that isn't a problem. Sure, it may take a moment for things to register, but you will always be ready to express yourself in some way if you are experiencing everything that's going on. That's why I just let it flow and enjoy the company I'm with. I try to understand what people are saying and all, but at the same time I would be happy to simply look at what they are doing and realize how they are saying everything and how everyone is reacting to it. When I look at things like that, it just makes me smile because it's very relaxing to see other people trying to express themselves.
The important thing is to be poised. Have that good posture. Have that awareness and remain focused. You could simply smile at someone when they look at you to show them that you are having a good time being around them. Or you could just look at them. Either way, your focus will be acknowledged and that will lead to a comfortable repore.
-------------------- Smoking my hobbit leaf... Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.
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