I'd like to share my memories of a mushroom trip that happened about a month ago. Before this, my previous experience with psychs was doing acid twice, and mushrooms four times. I've learned something about myself during all my trips, especially my last LSD experience which completely blew my mind and revealed to me life from a completely different perspective. But tonight, I decided to trip simply because I was bored and alone on a Saturday night. This would be my second solo trip (I did once on acid), and what started as me just wanting to get fucked up became a spiritual journey and a night of self-reflection.
On that Saturday afternoon, I found out that my girlfriend was hanging with some of her friends whom I dislike, so I had to find something else to do. So I call my dealer, and our conversation goes something like this:
Me: Hey man, are you busy? Him: No, what's up, how'd everything go last time? Me: Great, everything was great... say could I get some chicken soup with extra mushrooms? Him: Yeah I can do that, meet me in fifteen.
I was pretty stoked that everything went smoothly, and I'm excited to trip again since it's been a while. Not that I'd be hurting if he didn't have any, since I live pretty close to Haight Street. :) Anyway, enough preamble and on to the trip itself.
I ate the shrooms with a glass of water, they tasted awful, and I spent the next couple minutes trying to dislodge chewed mushroom from my molars with my tongue. I hadn't eaten for several hours, so I expected them to kick in fast, and I spend the next thirty minutes making sure everything is clean and organized, so I'm not fumbling around looking for CDs I like while I'm high. Finally after about fifteen more minutes I feel the familiar sensation in the back of my skull and I feel my stomach twitching and my mouth twisting into a grin...
My thoughts were racing... and I managed to scrawl some of them on a piece of paper. Things like "Something is twisting my emotions into different directions", "New emotions", "People care way too much about what they wear", and a bunch of random stuff that made sense to me at the time. My brain felt congested and one thought was starting before the first one ended. Then suddenly, my face began to tense and contort itself. It took a while for me to realize that this was an expression of deep sorrow and agony. My forehead furrowed and my lips closed so tightly it almost hurt and I felt a profound sadness that I've only felt a few times in my life. But I didn't know what, if anything, I was sad about. I squeezed my eyes shut hard but no tears would come.
Just as suddenly as I felt sadness, my mood turned to that of complete euphoria. Everything felt right. The hues of the light on my wall, the shadows cast by the light, the beautifully illuminated Victorian houses outside, the flowers on my desk. All of it was beautiful. I started laughing at nothing in particular and I couldn't stop smiling. I thought to myself, "I know I'm gonna forget this shit afterwards, so if I remember one thing tonight it'll be this: try to find beauty and meaning in every moment. Look at the beauty around you and appreciate it, and never forget this". It probably sounds cliched, but it was meaningful to me, and hopefully it's something I'll never lose sight of.
I put on a CD, White People by Handsome Boy Modeling School, and was completely amazed by the flowers on my desk. They were dancing and warping to the music... I was completely mesmerized. I got annoyed by how many skits were on the CD and put on some Blackalicious. I was completely entranced by it, and I had an indescribable urge to run around in circles, so I did. I was chuckling the whole time and started running in progressively smaller circles. I started popping and locking to the music. Normally I would've felt ridiculous doing this by myself but right now I didn't care, it felt good so I was doing it.
After this I stood in the middle of my room. I realized I was getting visuals: what looked like a rainbow created by an oil spill on water covered the center of my field of vision, and some other patterns which I can't remember faded in and out. The white walls of my room seemed to have a reddish tinge to them. I looked outside, and because it was dark, the window acted as a sort of mirror that I could also see through. A tree outside my window was illuminated by the light in my room, and I could see various buildings in the city, lit up at night. Superimposed on all this was my reflection which I saw in the window. I stared at myself for what seemed like ages, watching my face subtly morph to point where I couldn't recognized myself. In my reflection I could see the faces of different people, and each time my face morphed I felt as if I was turning into a different person. I wondered about the experiences, the sorrows and joys, that the people in the reflection had gone through. And I wondered what those people staring back at me thought of me. I started to wonder about my place in the world, and whether I'm going down the right path in life (I wonder about these things all the time, but my thoughts felt so much clearer and more pristine than usual at this time). I thought about who the faces in the window might be, and I realized that this is how my ancestors might have looked, hundreds or even thousands of years ago. For me this was the pinnacle of the trip, and a moment I'll never forget.
After this, I laid down with my head on my pillow, trying to digest all I had been taught tonight, at the same time watching my sheets and the wall behind them wave. Shit, even right now I'm trying to decipher the meaning of my trip, and I feel that putting it in writing today has helped me greatly.
After lying down and reflecting on things for a bit, I felt myself coming down. The visuals were dying down, and my head was clearing up. I smoked two bowls, put some music on, and turned off the lights. I laid in my comfy bed and drifted off to sleep, probably with a smile on my face. The next morning I woke up with a slight headache, but it was well worth it. This was my best experience with psychs, and I'm definitely a better person for having done it. Still, I feel like psychs give me more questions than answers to life's mysteries. But maybe that's how it's supposed to be. Thanks for reading! :crazy:
Edited by giblets (07/24/06 05:18 PM)
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