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InvisibleTrippingDuality
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bad trip, good lesson
    #5894441 - 07/24/06 03:55 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

so it seems i've only been having "bad" trips lately.
i know it has everything to do with my mindstate.
i've been really unhappy, and trying to run away from things i need to change.
july has been a binge month for me... i got some free blow from a friend which i haven't touched for years... i finally found a hookup and i was flirting with opiates. very unlike me.

so on friday around 4:30pm,
4 grams, roughly chopped and down the hatch with water.
30 minutes in i was coming up strong.
tried to relax outside, but i was SO HOT and sweaty.
i felt nauseated from the heat, so sick, so overwhelmed, so uncomfortable. only dizzying closed eye visuals.

i moved inside and tried to lie in bed with fans on me and headphones on. then i was vomiting every 20 minutes or so. so thirsty, helpless.

i was crying uncontrollably, i kept saying "i'm doing this to myself" the mushrooms showed me what kind of path i was on. i felt guilty, dirty and fried. i felt out of control and i knew if i didn't stop this stupidity it was going to ruin me.

this is not very coherant but it was important for me to get this down.


--------------------
turn off your mind relax and float downstream


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OfflinePhishe
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: TrippingDuality]
    #5894634 - 07/24/06 05:07 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like you didn't have an even remotely good time..

Do you mind me asking what was the lesson you learned?


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InvisibleTrippingDuality
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: Phishe]
    #5894691 - 07/24/06 05:26 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

you are so right, i did not have a good time.

at the time i thought i would never trip again, that's how bad i felt. but i really do feel that every trip has taught me something.

i think this experience made me see that i was on the wrong path re: my crazy binging. i felt like it was trying to show me that i am not being smart about the way i am handling my stress.
that the pursuit of "feeling good" is not a worthwhile pursuit if all i am doing is popping pills or doing lines.

that i can't get something for nothing. and that i'm going to continue to be miserable unless i do something about this.

maybe i'm just looking for reasons why i can't "feel good" anymore.
in this current mindstate i will not be dosing again.
it just amplifies the horrible feelings i'm trying to push down.

i wish i could explain this better.


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turn off your mind relax and float downstream


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OfflinePhishe
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: TrippingDuality]
    #5894728 - 07/24/06 05:37 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Don't worry you're making perfect sense. Stay away from opiates its no solution to problems. Once you feel more ready, and that you've solved most of the problems and negative feelings in your life....maybe then you should return to mushrooms.

You know yourself best though, but thats my 2 cents.


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OfflineMauiGanjaMonster
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: Phishe]
    #5900801 - 07/26/06 03:09 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Stop popping pill's and stop railing yale and trust me you'll be happier :wink:


--------------------
Trodding through creation in a irie meditation.

As they walk through my garden and steal my fruit, damn devils in a three piece suit.

yeah they walk through my garden and eat my fruit damn puppets, the boys in blue.


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: MauiGanjaMonster]
    #5901899 - 07/26/06 03:11 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Leave the opiates alone. That shit is more than psychologicaly addictive and the mushrooms are telling you to stop putting that shit into your body, aswell as the yays.


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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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InvisibleTrippingDuality
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: Ginseng1]
    #5902131 - 07/26/06 05:02 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Ginseng1 said:
Leave the opiates alone.  That shit is more than psychologicaly addictive and the mushrooms are telling you to stop putting that shit into your body, aswell as the yays.




yes that's the lesson.  :thumbup:


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turn off your mind relax and float downstream


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OfflineMarcellus_W
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: TrippingDuality]
    #5911655 - 07/29/06 12:46 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

that sucks good luck


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Invisiblekake
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Re: bad trip, good lesson [Re: Marcellus_W]
    #5916797 - 07/31/06 12:21 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

best wishes to you bro.  you have a lot to look forward to if you will make the changes you know deep down inside you need to.

humans are incredibly resilient beings... you fall 10 times, you pick your ass up and prepare for the 11th if you have to, but you gotta keep the bar set high and the morale strong, no matter what. :thumbup:


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The answer to 1984 is 1776.


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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