|
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
|
Limelight
IntrepidTraveler
Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 791
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
|
question about ego loss..?
#5889479 - 07/23/06 12:50 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
I saw this in another thread posted, and i have a question..
Essentially, they are the "gatekeepers" of releasing your ego (or whatever that really means). Honestly, just as many people experience a "choice" given by a third party, it's your choice whether you want to go with them (and let go of your ego) or resist (and therefore constantly try to relate to all you see and feel in terms of what you already know, which is somewhat like trying to force a square through a round hole).
i honestly dont know if ive had ego loss or not. there is a reoccuring theme though every time i do drugs, and i dont know if this is 'it', stated above, or not. basically i have tripped maybe 30 times on mushrooms (no more than 5g), DMT, 2ci, doc, lsd. i have never had a bad trip. in fact, ive never had a trip where i freaked out that it was too much. on acid, ive had points where i was keeping it in control, and was definitely on the verge of a 'holy fuck!' experience, but its never been like "OH MY GOD! THE TRUTH!"
i think the main part are the shrooms though. ive never had a bad shroom trip, and ive never felt ego loss (or have i?). i dont know. i think in my case, its either i have been feeling it this whole time, and im so different from other people that i never noticed it. or i just, somehow through coincidence, have had weak trips every single time. what i can say though is that on almost EVERY trip... i just observe. i see lots of cool shit but i honestly dont think much (except lsd). every trip though is mainly a feeling of simply bliss and just wholeness... does this mean im not letting go? does it mean im automatically letting go without me knowing it?
this sounds bad, because of expectations and that stuff, but on a lot of shroom trips i will be left with wishing to trip harder, because i like the feeling so much i want it to be stronger. yet even when i ate 5g, or took dmt.. it was more like ... wow... and thats it. nothing ever really freaked me out in a negative way. definitely slightly scary at some poitns (usually before doing it), but never SCARY.
so whats the deal chicos
-------------------- "The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."
|
Limelight
IntrepidTraveler
Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 791
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
|
Re: question about ego loss..? [Re: Limelight]
#5889513 - 07/23/06 01:08 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
the other thing which makes me feel like ive felt ego loss this whole time.. that its a possiblity at least, is that day to day i never take things for what they seem. i have an analytical mind which goes on tangents, but for example in universe theories or politics, i never take a stand because i knwo there is so much mroe we can never percieve.
so on my trips.. i usually learn about myself, how to take advantage of situations to the fullest, but thats about as deep as they go. i never have life shattering revelations. maybe its because after my first trip they are too similar. but i dont even think that after my frist trip that i was all that changed.
im just a VERY open minded person in general. i guess this helps with bad trips?
even if i dont have ego loss.. i am trying to explain my own experience, because its quite unlike any other peoplve ive talked to, and im trying to figure out why/how. like what makes me any different from other people...
-------------------- "The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."
|
Limelight
IntrepidTraveler
Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 791
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
|
Re: question about ego loss..? [Re: Limelight]
#5889531 - 07/23/06 01:18 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
this is completely unrelated, but it came to mind and i ponder this a lot in many different forms...
but i have a constant thought in my mind which prevents me from feeling completely satisfied with what i think. for example, in the post above, i state that i never take a stand because there is much more to percieving than we are capable of. however - another part of my mind asks, is that REALLY the reason? or is that your mind creating some sort of answer JUST to have an answer. its like.. the mind is innately covered in illusion, and its hard to believe anything that i think because i can always think of a situation which counters it. sure i can think of reasons supporting this statement above.. but i can also think of just as many reasons negating it. for this reason, the way my mind finds counter points to everything, and counterpoints to THOSE thigns... i dont really know which are true and which arent. are the counter points true, and the original point is false? or is the original point true and the counterpoints arent valid? its a constant loop of never really feeling 100% secure. is this very post im writing really the cause of my distress? or is it a false thought loop? how do i know its false. sure i can just step away from ALL of it, and detach, but how do i know detaching is the Best course of action? maybe that wont solve shit...
if i think 'YOU are confident. go have a good time." that part of my mind will say.. are you REALLY, or is that a front? i never know, so its always hard. i can be social, but theres always a part of me, despite having lots of freinds and girls, that never feels comfortable 100% with what im saying.
a common counterpoint i have is the fact hta ttomorrow i will feel completely fine, although ill still have the uncertainty, but it wont be to any large extent. it seems only when i think about my 'issue' is when it REALLY grows into massive proportions. any other time, and i hardly think of it at all. the very fact that its THERE though makes it hard for me to forget it completely, once again moving me to a point of 85% contentness... just like something is always missing or off. when i think about what is 'off' is when it really magnifies until i step back, then i am once again normal and a.ok feeling.
ive had those sorts of dilemmas a while, if you have any insight on that it would be sweet
-------------------- "The worst mistake that you can make is to think you're alive when really you're asleep in life's waiting room."
Edited by Limelight (07/23/06 01:26 AM)
|
phungi
BullshitDetector
Registered: 06/03/06
Posts: 219
Loc: Canada (not really)
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
|
Re: question about ego loss..? [Re: Limelight]
#5889836 - 07/23/06 07:36 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
OVER-ANALYZING!! Sounds like your trying to place values on your experiences that are not there, Ego Loss is really easy and requires no entheogens to achieve.....however, the entheogen can and will do just what its name suggests (become divine), the rest is personal choice as to which "filters" one will view ones-self through. That is the real challenge when delving deeply into ones innerself now isn't it? Which filters and value placement will you adhere to, if you can "let go" and "break through" your own filters of reality then your ego will dissolve in a nano-second, I have felt this with as little as 1 gram cubensis, and also in deep meditation without any entheogens.
Good luck, Phungi
-------------------- "Don't Steal. The government hates competition!!"
|
phungi
BullshitDetector
Registered: 06/03/06
Posts: 219
Loc: Canada (not really)
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
|
Re: question about ego loss..? [Re: phungi]
#5889846 - 07/23/06 07:43 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
|
|
Oh and I have also been blasted completely out of my body and launched into hyperspace quite beyond my control. Words like "ego loss" don't even come close to the truth of the experience, and you won't have to wonder "was I having an ego loss experience?" You will be saying "I am a human that lives on planet earth? Whoa I totally forgot!!"
6 Grams Amazonian Cubensis.
With Perfect Love,
Phungi
-------------------- "Don't Steal. The government hates competition!!"
|
|