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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Dreamer987]
#5878955 - 07/19/06 07:52 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Okay, here is what happened. I woke up one morning after my husband had already gone to work, and let the dogs out to go potty. (100% sober, by the way) >> I went downstairs to let them in, and couldn't find my 13 yr old, senile lab girl. She was NOWHERE in the yard OR the house and there was NO WAY she could have gotten out. I looked everywhere, for HOURS. Eventually, I started to get really worried because come on, she's old and sickly. I went around the neighborhood calling for her, just in case she had gotten out or lost or something, but did not find her.
Yes, I panicked slightly. I love this fucking old dog, and couldn't STAND the thought of losing her. So I decided to call my husband at the university to see if he'd taken her anywhere, like the vet or something, and not let me know. We only have one cell phone and it was in my custody, so I needed to go through the university operator, find what class Kevin was in, and give him a message about the dog.
So I explained my situation to the operator at the university. I left it purposely vague...I figured that if I didn't make the message sound semi- urgent, they wouldn't really give the message to him in class. I've dealt with UT before, and let's just say that they're not the best when it comes to being helpful in times of need.
I basically told the operator that my girl Bambi was missing and that I needed to get in contact with my husband to let him know immediantly. I sounded stressed out, I'm sure, because I was really worried. I would have done anything to get the pooch back, so I just made my message about this "missing individual" sound purposely obscure. I thought that Kevin wouldn't get the message as quickly if UT knew that I was calling about a dog.
Anyway. Kevin is pulled out of class by policemen. They look incredibly concerned. They tell him, "Sir, we don't know how to tell you this, but your daughter's missing."
Kevin was like, "I don't have a daughter." The policemen look confused and say, "Is your wife Michelle?"
Kevin: "Yes."
The policemen look at their paper again. "Bambi?" they ask questioningly.
Kevin said, "oh...that's our dog." The policemen sigh in relief.
So Kevin calls me. I'm like..."Where is she?? I can't find her anywhere!"
"Did you look behind the bushes?"
"Yes! I looked there twice!"
Kevin: "Look again."
So, with him still on the phone, I go out to the backyard, poke my hands around in the bushes, and suddenly...SHE emerges, my old dog, looking happy to see me.
So to celebrate finding my missing dog that wasn't really missing, I ate lots of acid.
The end.
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Dreamer987]
#5878981 - 07/19/06 08:05 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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By the way, I love you too, Dreamer! Thanks for being my emotional support via phone during that trying time.
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coda
Banjo Goiter


Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 8,750
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: MOTH]
#5879031 - 07/19/06 08:18 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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see, that's exactly how i would celebrate too.
-------------------- To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . . -JG i really am glad you came back to us instead of taking the other path. *hug* -A_S (RIP your final words to me will never be forgotten)
 Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.
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kake
The answer to1984 is 1776.



Registered: 05/06/99
Posts: 2,782
Loc: The 66th harmonic
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: coda]
#5879096 - 07/19/06 08:41 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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hahaha what a great story 
and a very happy ending indeed.
-------------------- The answer to 1984 is 1776.
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Boglyn
Put them on theglass


Registered: 10/15/01
Posts: 513
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: MOTH]
#5879206 - 07/19/06 09:13 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Glad everything turned out ok.
-------------------- The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do. ---Galileo
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Toddo
Stranger


Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: MOTH]
#5879238 - 07/19/06 09:22 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: MOTH]
#5879274 - 07/19/06 09:30 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I fuckin love u!
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5879466 - 07/19/06 10:15 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Love you too, Walrus!
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Simisu
taken by gravity


Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,435
Loc: Israeli in
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: MOTH]
#5880292 - 07/20/06 03:27 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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so how was yr trip?
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   Shr mery    Visit & Support Free Spore Ring Earth Please help spread live Salvia Divinorum
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Acidic_Sloth
Acidic poly-Sided Di-slothamide


Registered: 05/29/02
Posts: 43,732
Loc: ainrofilac
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: MOTH]
#5880297 - 07/20/06 03:34 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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that's fucking hilarious.
i'm glad you found Bambi. <3
-------------------- -- Accept my heart warming gift of TREE SCRATCHIES!!! I absolve thee!! --
JaP: 30,000 lines of gay, cock, and fag can't be wrong Ped: only in #shroomery is "smuggle opium in her ass" followed by "i don't want shitty opium" which is followed by " *** Joins: PENISSQUAD" -- JaP: What would this place be without random sluts? JaP: Nothing, I tell you.
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Acidic_Sloth]
#5880346 - 07/20/06 04:29 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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ya I read your post about bambi and your mom...my grandpa treated his dog exactly the same way and it really pissed me off...my grandparents thought of dogs as nothing more then a way to warn u if someone was there at night etc but my grandmas come around...she LOVES our lil dog(shes the most affectionate animal I've ever seen)
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Organic
Lloyd

Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 5,774
Loc: Overlook
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5880351 - 07/20/06 04:32 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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cute little guy (or is it girl?)
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Organic]
#5880374 - 07/20/06 04:47 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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girl..I've never had a male dog actually(not by choice)
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie


Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 6 months, 23 days
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Prisoner#1]
#5880633 - 07/20/06 08:03 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
Dreamer987 said: Apparently she had gotten the police involved, and may or may not have reported that her daughter Bambi was missing
she's lucky she's not in jail on that one
That's the first thing that crossed my mind. Wonder if she really did call them?
--------------------
The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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Noviseer
Percussion isFree


Registered: 03/18/03
Posts: 3,994
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: MOTH]
#5880744 - 07/20/06 09:12 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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lol thats classic. I love how there is a completely plausible explanation to every crazy story. How was the trip?
-------------------- _______________________________________________________________ namaste said: no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped _________________________________________________________________
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat


Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: Dreamer987]
#5880956 - 07/20/06 10:43 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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It's stories such as these that keep me out of the Pub to begin with
-------------------- "Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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Re: So Ellemeshshade is fucking crazy [Re: FreakQlibrium]
#5881017 - 07/20/06 11:03 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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why?
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