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InvisibleEgo Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
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Another of my disorders getting to me...
    #5876857 - 07/19/06 07:18 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Ever since I was a kid I hated people eating loudly with their mouths open.

I used to wear my headphones to the dinner table because it was the only way I could stand being there.  Especially with my dad and sisters horrendous chomping - everytime I so much as looked in their direction they did it louder on purpose.

One day my mum stopped me wearing the phones so I stopped having dinner with them and apart from Xmas (which i loave with a passion!) i havn't eaten with them since.


Now its 14 years on from that incident and my hatred for noisy eaters is as prevailent as ever.  When my friends bring food into the room, i will slyly cover my ears and hold them or leave the room and hide in the toilet for as long as possible!

The problems growing too - because now i hate the sound of the knife and fork hitting the plate and even the sounds of the preperation and cleaning of plates!

At every meal time i have to goto my room and turn the music up full blast!


i realise this prolly makes me seem completely insane - maybe i am, the amount of mental problems i have... :crazy:

i'm planning on isolating myself from society soon - i can see no way of escaping these problems i have.  i've tried facing it head on too and i get soo mad that i would kill to leave the situation - yes i would kill the people eating because they cause me to feel that way. :mad2:

So i don't know what to do other than isolate myself because i can't just have a tantrum/leave/kill everytime somebody wants to eat - which seems to be constantly all day.

Any suggestions?  Other than suicide...


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OfflineSyle
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Ego Death]
    #5876875 - 07/19/06 07:44 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

does your own chomping bother you?


--------------------
https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!


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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Syle]
    #5876951 - 07/19/06 08:40 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

i can kind of remotely relate.

my dad does this thing when he eats chips or pretzels or things.

he has them in his hand. he like shakes them. then he chomps at them. chomp chomp.

it's always bugged me.

i think it's really an intolerance for your family, and other people, and has little to do with eating, it is jsut something to focus all your negativity on, so you can reject them as people.

you just have to sit with someone and stare at them while they eat, and stare at them until you don't want to kill them anymore. it will expire eventually, and you'll learn a lot in the process.

i used to be intolerant of the TV like that (and for good reason though) and i'd get upset when my family ate in front of the tv, and left them once to go eat alone on the floor in my room, becuase i felt like i couldn't even be aware of the fact that i was eating, if the television was setting my eating rhythmns by its formulaic pacing.

in fact i frequently hide from the tv. the noise is gaudy
chatty little happy girl voice SOOOOOO HAVE YOU TRIED PRODUCT X TODAY? PRODUCT X MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY. PRODUCT X IS AMAZING.

so yea.

i dunno. eating though? eating is a good functoin of living. tv is not! it's like, you wouldn't want to be exposed to really loud noise pllution, music you hate, hostile people having fights, but you get all of the above and more if you just let the tv drone forever.

so i have issues with that.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!


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InvisibleMike_yy
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Ego Death]
    #5877090 - 07/19/06 09:54 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Are you an irritable person generally ?

If you have alot of problems/stress in your life, maybe abit more than you can handle then that stress will show itself.

Maybe that people eating thing is a symptom of all the other shit in your life.
That might explain why tackling it head on didn't work, if it's something else that's causing it.

Try gathering yourself and thinking through any other problems you have.
If you can start to resolve them and reduce your stress then these irritable symptoms might fade and disappear in time.


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OfflineChazzersize
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Mike_yy]
    #5878385 - 07/19/06 04:46 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Dont worry, you're not the only one who is easily bugged by people who constantly smack their fucking gums with food.

UGH. I HATE IT.

Im a hypocrite though. My own smacking sounds like a symphony.


--------------------
Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars.


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InvisibleEgo Death
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Syle]
    #5878565 - 07/19/06 05:43 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

>>>does your own chomping bother you?

No, but i eat quietly anyway.

Leery, theres no way i could sit it out until i felt better i'd lose it!

Mikey, i don't consider myself that irratable i'm generally relaxed about anything.

My mind has associated those sounds with negative emotion.


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OfflineMustNotBe
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Ego Death]
    #5878641 - 07/19/06 06:11 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Heh I seem to do that too. Lots of emotional problems, so I relate emotions to actions/objects. Sounds like you are doing this too. Like once when I was a child, I lost a quarter under my seat in the car, and almost started to cry. I completely lost it and my mom was very confused. Are you overweight?


--------------------
Junkies United we stand , Devided we're sick as fuck.
-                  -                -
"Hallucinations are something heroin users are not at all accustomed to," said Const. Conor King, Victoria police drug expert. "They react like you or I would react if we took Aspirin and all of a sudden the TV got up and started walking across the room."
-                  -                -
Make drugs legal, or alcohol and tobacco illegal. Either way it's more fair.


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OfflineDreamer987
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Ego Death]
    #5879667 - 07/19/06 11:12 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

That sounds like a symptom of aspergers, or another form of minor autism.
You should look into that.


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5879874 - 07/20/06 12:13 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

The problem is your lack of acceptance for the way that other people do what they do and the way that you feel about it.

You know how you feel so don't let the anger build up - anger for their eating noises and your inability to accept it, which is fear. That is just a downward spiral that makes no sense. You have to find a way to overcome it. I honestly think that you could overcome any fear if you try.

I suggest politely asking them to chew with their mouths closed. Sure, they may still make noise when they eat, but it will be minimized. If they put forth that effort, I suggest that you accept their good intentions and make an equal effort to feel good about that rather than feeling bad about the noises. Look at the situation as a whole and realize that you should be thankful to have that food and people to share it with.

If they will not do that, then isolate yourself for the duration of the sitdown-and-eat process (or wear the headphones, which is a much better solution). Don't let that aggrovation for one thing carry over to other little noises like forks scraping plates. It sounds like you are basically annoyed that people wouldn't take more care with what they do - from mindlessly chomping on food to not being delicate with their utensils. You should let them know how you feel and see if they are willing to be polite for your sake.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Ego Death]
    #5880331 - 07/20/06 04:07 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

definately used to be a pet peave of mine when living with my folks, particularly my stepfather... lord, listening to him eat a salad was f'n ridiculous. but largely i was trying to tune out their habitual complaining about work, it was their dinner table ritual to vent about work to get it all out and start to unwind. personally, the last thing i wanted to do was think about school once i made it home, and i found it very untasteful. i think the chomping was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
other pet peaves was how ridiculously loud my parents would talk in the morning on days i had off and was trying to catch up on sleep. it seemed so ungraceful and unconscious, was a pisser for the first impression of the day.
the other one was just them thumping around when walking. like little heards of elephants, particularly when getting ready to leave the house. it always seemed apparent to me that you didn't need to throw your weight into each step you take, but apparently not for them.

ah well...
really you need to discover some sort of technique to calm your restless mind that you practice frequently and consistently every day so that over time (perhaps a much longer time than you wish) you will incrementally begin to really own your peace of mind... some things really are annoying, and the chomping will always be annoying, but in the grand scheme of things it will be small potatos.... just an interesting little personal nuance.... nothing to get bent over.... honest.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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InvisibleEgo Death
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Dreamer987]
    #5880548 - 07/20/06 07:16 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Hmm,
I do have some traits of that but
those symptons could be applied to anybody.


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InvisibleEgo Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #5880559 - 07/20/06 07:24 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I've tried to not let it buld up - but the more they do it the madder I get.

I've tried asking people and the few that did try to eat quieter had an awful atmosphere after t had been said. I could see the paranoia emenatng off them.

The others just took a "fuck you" attitude and do it even louder whilst laughing at me - makng me even madder.

My friends and family have pretty much all taken the fuck you attitude.


The headphones def the best answer.


One interesting thing - If its a girl I fancy doing it, it doesn't piss me off because I'm feeling happy off of my love for them?


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Invisiblequiver
freedrug
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Ego Death]
    #5880822 - 07/20/06 09:48 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

:lol:
i had to laugh because i have a similar pet hate
i hate it when people chew their nails or suck on their fingers,
even if someone sits near me and rests their head on their hand i get angry to the point like my blood in my arms is ebbing back the wrong way because i think they are going to start slurping on a finger nail

my sisters always use to tease me by doing it on purpose while watching television so i always sat on the floor right infront of the screen with my arm over my head so i couldnt see or hear them and now i hate it even when my wife or kids do it but i try to ignore it cause i love them and it doesn't bother me as much now

i also hate hearing that gulping sound that people make when they drink hot tea or coffee

i nearly wanted to kill my mother once while she was eating spaghetti when i was a teen but i just got out and tried not to be near them when they ate or drunk

besides probably being insane,i think it was mainly because i was tormented by my sisters


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InvisibleEgo Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: quiver]
    #5881013 - 07/20/06 11:02 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah same here, my sister def caused it.


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OfflineThe_Hobbit
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: Ego Death]
    #5882196 - 07/20/06 06:12 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I think it's all about the way that you ask. Ask them to please chew with their mouths closed. That's it. If you say chew quieter, that would understandably make them feel weird.

And like I said - you can overcome anything with a simple choice. You could feel the same love for your family. Then it becomes an understandable occurence to hear them chewing.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.


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Invisiblegotyerback
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Re: Another of my disorders getting to me... [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #5884407 - 07/21/06 01:02 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Look into hypnotism.

When my dad eats a banana it is intolerable. Luckily that's the only thing.


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OfflineEreignis
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Hey, that's really interesting [Re: Ego Death]
    #5887325 - 07/22/06 12:01 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

That is an interesting issue. To a certain extent, I agree with you. I like to eat quietly, in a dignified manner, mindful of my meal, grateful that I have it, and not distracted by idle chatter. BUT! I wouldn't get all worked up if someone did smack their gums at me. At least, I would question, Why am I getting worked up about this? Why do I expect the world to be in this certain way, where everyone eats in a dignified manner, and what right do I have to expect things to be that way? Perhaps your annoyance at their eating is a manifesting of a deeper disgust with the manner in which your family conducts their lives? If so, do you have the right to judge them? Even if you do have that right, is it possible for you to accept their deficiencies anyway?


"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
Carl Jung

A great man of zen tells a story of an encounter he had with a government official in his home country. It seems that it was a chance encounter; both of them happened to be staying at a hotel with dormitory style sleeping arrangements. At night they went to bed, but a great congregation of dogs was howling at the moon outside of the hotel, making a racquet inside the room. The official, unaccustomed to such undignified disturbance of his sleep, complained to the zen man, and said, "why are these dogs barking? They are keeping me up?". The zen man said, "Accept everything. These dogs are not barking to bother you, these dogs are not thinking about you, they are not trying to harm you. They are just barking. There is no reason why the dogs are barking. They are simply barking, there is nothing else about it. Accept the barking of the dogs, for the dogs are barking." The official thought this was ridiculous. How could he accept the barking of the dogs? It was such a loud cacaphony, and not conducive to sleep. It was random and harsh and every time he nearly got to sleep another one would chime in with a particularly loud howl! But the zen man said, "You are not accepting them. Your way has not worked, so please, try my way. Let the barking in. Let the barking be music to your ears. Accept the barking, for the dogs are barking." So the official tried it. He meditated on the sounds of the dogs, and, so the story goes, was asleep within five minutes.

Just to teach another lesson, the zen master shook him awake and said, Look at you! How are you sleeping now, with all these barking dogs?

(Hahaha, and that is my favorite part of the story. Oh, for heaven's sake, accept the barking of the dogs!)

I love you! Good luck!


--------------------
Reason tatters
The forces tear loose from the axis
Searchlight casting
For faults in the clouds of delusion

Shall we go, you and I, while we can? Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds


Edited by Ereignis (07/22/06 12:02 PM)


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OfflineGomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
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Re: Hey, that's really interesting [Re: Ego Death]
    #5888187 - 07/22/06 05:21 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I had the same problem.
Nice reminder. :smile:

I solved it by living by this;

"You can be forced to hear ANYTHING, but you~yourself may chose; whether or not you should listen..."
-Unknown :p


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