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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept
#5862427 - 07/15/06 05:34 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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A wake is traditionally a gathering to remember someone who has died. Friends and family come together, look at photos, share stories, grieve, laugh, and begin to let go.
This week I decided to have a wake for my self-concept, as I wish to move beyond the limitations I have created.
I began by emptying my storage unit of all the "precious" belongings I put there seven months ago ( ). Then I sorted through all of it, remembering who I was when I acquired it, what I wanted it to mean about me, and why I have continued to keep it.
Last night I read through all my journals from age 10 through last year, all my letters from friends, and shredded every page.
Today I had a big yard sale & gave away whatever was leftover.
Throughout this process, I had the feeling that I was becoming less familiar to myself...that I was lessening my ability to predict my behavior.
It is amazing how much of our past self is tied to belongings! Am I still "me" if I sell my food processor? Of course, but I must first confront my unfulfilled wish to continue the life I had when I purchased and used that processor. I must acknowledge that the self who found it useful and important is dead.
Do you feel that your belongings are linked to your sense of self? Is it difficult for you to let things go when they are no longer useful?
Edited by Veritas (07/15/06 09:19 PM)
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soulcircus
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept *DELETED* [Re: Veritas]
#5862440 - 07/15/06 05:39 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Post deleted by soulcircusReason for deletion: .
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Panoramix
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: soulcircus]
#5863632 - 07/15/06 11:48 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Wow, that's some hardcore unburdening of your life you're undertaking there! Sounds like you're already enjoying the fruits of your lifestyle switch, though... "I had the feeling that I was becoming less familiar to myself...that I was lessening my ability to predict my behavior."
"Do you feel that your belongings are linked to your sense of self? Is it difficult for you to let things go when they are no longer useful?"
I'd have little or no trouble getting rid of the things I've accumulated in my life for the most part. Not saying that I'm not a pack-rat, but if it comes down to it (and it has during long-distance changes of residence) I don't have too much trouble walking away from the stuff I accumulate. Aside from music. I would've had a hard time shredding all those journals from my youth, too.
-------------------- Don't worry, I'm wrong.
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demiu5
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: Veritas]
#5863693 - 07/16/06 12:16 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Do you feel that your belongings are linked to your sense of self? Is it difficult for you to let things go when they are no longer useful?
Yes and yes. But I'm trying, or beginning to try. I'm afraid I'll stray from the path once I start and have regrets...which is just as bad.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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capliberty
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: demiu5]
#5864103 - 07/16/06 02:19 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yes I'm also attached to some of the garbage that I've collected, because they bring about memories, that I longed forget, and relinquishing such items would extinguish those memories for good, which may extinguish a part of yourself,
But on the flip note, It does feel good to liberate yourself from such clutter, being about so much garbage is a direct reflection of ones own cluttered mind,
What I don't like is these people who are so keen on keeping important documents, they keep every single receipt and every single bank statement, and every single piece of documentation that seems to be a "verifiable proof." of something.........I don't know, I think there are some pertinent pieces of documentation needed for sure, but some people go way over disillusional in keeping every single little freaking piece of documentation, maybe it makes them feel secure or significant, who knows
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redgreenvines
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: capliberty]
#5864140 - 07/16/06 02:42 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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cap those accounting papers are worth money. often a self employed person makes as much money by keeping track and being able to report expenses as they might make before the tax formula.
veritas this sounds a bit drastic. the space you have made with this action was there already. be careful - some mementos can be useful for teaching and learning and the moment of usefullness can't be predicted.
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capliberty
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: redgreenvines]
#5864297 - 07/16/06 04:08 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I don't know man, those no account papers can help you get a clearer picture I guess, if you had a self-employed business,
but alot of it can be elimated by online banking, especially bank statments, and alot of receipts, if you look on ur online account history, you can see whats been accounted for,
the only other things are a drivers license, socialsecurity card, birth certificate, diploma, certfications, maybe employment history for ss is a nice piece of information, another nice piece of info. is being able to view your criminal charges, the public defenders won't allow copies, but it gives good info. in their prospective, so atleast you can cover up exaggerted truths alot better to the judge, what else, 401k plans, bills of course, but really to add endless amount receipts and bank statments to that is not necessary IMO. I'd keep pay check stubs, to keep accurate track of income flow, but I guess If I was keen on tax rightoffs then I'd maybe be alittle more into all, I don't know.....................but is their really that many right offs, a few things, then after that their some catchs, you might as well, figure tax as an expense and save yourself the complications, cause that is all it is
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: redgreenvines]
#5864629 - 07/16/06 08:26 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: this sounds a bit drastic. the space you have made with this action was there already. be careful - some mementos can be useful for teaching and learning and the moment of usefullness can't be predicted.
"Be careful" was the mantra my mother chanted every time I left the house. While I don't mind considering my actions, I no longer wish to be full of care. (i.e. worry, regret, stress.)
The mementos which I can continue to learn from cannot be erased by a little paper shredding. The useful life of a journal chronicling my petty concerns and dramas is about one year. On New Year's Eve I will review and integrate, then shred.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: Veritas]
#5864653 - 07/16/06 08:35 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I think you got over heated. there is really no need to bury the self prior to completion. those "tawdry" inscriptions are not baggage if you just declare that they are not. maybe a bit contradictory to some current politics... to a sleuth they are peanut shells marking the path you have consecrated by being here. but where they fall is no litter, they enchant paper, turn the page. notebooks are an amazing invention. (internet conferences too)
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Veritas

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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: redgreenvines]
#5864670 - 07/16/06 08:43 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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The past does not define who I am in the present. Once the current moment "dies," is it necessary to embalm the corpse and keep it on display?
I do not seek to bury my self, but to define my concept of self as I go. Carrying my relics with me was a way to encourage continuity and discourage dangerous improvisations.
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redgreenvines
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: Veritas]
#5864747 - 07/16/06 09:24 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I agree you should not carry extra baggage. relics can be so much clutter. libraries, on the other hand are a great source of inspiration, maybe not all topics and maybe not to you now (miss I've got such a perfect memory). Note: you can leave your books on a shelf or even in a pile or box. with no need to carry them.
no effort is necessary to reduce it. it is just empty shells. no load. interesting now and then, maybe not today. you might care another day, you once did. more of an allowance for variety than a caretaker's job....
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Veritas

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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: redgreenvines]
#5864886 - 07/16/06 10:07 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I'm currently living in a 950 square foot townhouse with three other people, a dog & a cat. Any extra "stuff" gets in the way of daily movements, and thus feels like it is being carried. Also, I've moved residences an average of once per year for 34 years. Travelling light is highly preferable. 
On an energetic level, hanging on to things which "might be useful someday" presupposes a scarcity in the future, and reinforces old habits of fearful thinking. If I give away something NOW which I need LATER, why does this automatically mean I will not be able to get it LATER?
My memory is good...perhaps too good...and I intentionally exercise it to maintain vigor and youthfulness. If a few memories slip through the cracks, fade out from disuse, or take on the colors of nearby bright memories in the wash, that's OK with me.
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Huehuecoyotl
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: Veritas]
#5865026 - 07/16/06 10:52 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Losing personal history is a positive step in my view. It frees one from attachment to past acts. Memories are in the past and the past does not define the future. For any human to deny that they are anything less than a complete mystery is self deceptive and self limiting. Memories are useful for retrieving lessons learned in order to make decisions, but to indulge in them is sentimental indulgence and quite worthless.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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MarkostheGnostic
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: Veritas]
#5865074 - 07/16/06 11:11 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said: I'm currently living in a 950 square foot townhouse with three other people, a dog & a cat. Any extra "stuff" gets in the way of daily movements, and thus feels like it is being carried. Also, I've moved residences an average of once per year for 34 years. Travelling light is highly preferable. 
Aha! Practical concerns over psychological (Buddhist metaphysical?) concerns. I'm born under the sign of the crab, and the crab's pinchers best characterize the grasping attachment of this lunar sign. Fortunately, 'cleaning out' is an adoptable concept of catharsis, whether it be eating lots of fruit and vegetables, cleaning out the garage regularly, giving to Good Will, taking psychedelics or ceasing to socialize with toxic people.
I think of my 'self' or psyche as a stratafication of experiences. I plumb other peoples' psyches with hypnosis, 'descend' to the layer where a problem had its origin, bring the incident to awareness and create a wedge between the memory and the negative emotions that continue to effect them.
The point is that the model of an 'archeological dig' not only appeals to me, it has utility. Moreover, who knows whether there is a real objective existence of psychic images and memories that make up the Jungian Collective Unconscious, the Caycean 'Akashic Record,' or the Biblical 'Book of Life?' That which we have been co-creators in may be valuable, not mere 'emptiness.' Here we are up against a Judeao-Christian metaphysic versus a Buddhist metaphysic. A Sufi text (Toward the One) once settled the matter for me by saying that rather than 'disincarnation' (untying the karmic knots that keep us in the game against our will) there is 'transfiguration,' in which all that we have experienced is for a higher purpose to the end of our ultimate transfiguration.
Sorry for the ramble. It just started to flow
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
Edited by MarkostheGnostic (07/16/06 12:36 PM)
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Quote:
Aha! Practical concerns over psychological (Buddhist metaphysical?) concerns.
C) All of the above. 
Quote:
I'm born under the sign of the crab, and the crab's pinchers best characterize the grasping attachment of this lunar sign. Fortunately, 'cleaning out' is an adoptable concept of catharsis, whether it be eating lots of fruit and vegetables, cleaning out the garage regularly, giving to Good Will, taking psychedelics or ceasing to socialize with toxic people.
Yes, I grew up with two Cancers (mother and brother), and lived among the cluttered results of their pack-rat tendencies. 
Now I like to regularly assess the "contents" of my material life. This recent catharsis is the most extreme clean-and-clear-out I have undertaken since my divorce 5 years ago. It was excellent, both practically and psychologically, to sell off and give away the accumulated "stuff" of my marriage while the divorce was in process.
One exception to my clearing efforts has been my journals...sentiment had always stayed my hand. Re-reading and then shredding them was satisfying and terrifying. Good stuff!
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redgreenvines
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: Veritas]
#5866711 - 07/16/06 06:27 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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if you had 2000 sqft would you shread?
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MystikMushroom
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Registered: 10/11/04
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: redgreenvines]
#5866834 - 07/16/06 07:04 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Many shamans in many cultures around the world practice what we would call a funeral or ceremony of death for themselves. It is not unusual to talk to a shaman to have an express the idea that they are already dead. In order to walk of both sides of the metaphysical and real realities, one must consider themselves to be already dead.
Edited by MystikMushroom (07/16/06 07:04 PM)
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: redgreenvines]
#5866986 - 07/16/06 07:35 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yes, the journals went in order to make spiritual room, so I would still shred even if I were living in a mansion.
The books, small appliances, clothes, shoes, craft supplies, etc...went in order to make physical room. The books, in particular, were cleared off four shelves of my large bookcase & were replaced by misc. exercise equipment which we are using every day. Moving the equipment onto the shelves cleared floor space in the livingroom so we have more room to exercise. 
The project was undertaken in order to focus my energy on who I AM and who I become each second, rather than who I have been.
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MushmanTheManic
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Re: Holding a Wake for My Self-Concept [Re: Veritas]
#5867316 - 07/16/06 09:06 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Herman Hesse (in Steppenwolf) says we are composed of thousands of selves and the belief that we're merely one self is an illusion.... Just something to think aboot.
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demiu5
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I could see that if you consider every facet, interest, idea etc as a self.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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