On July 8, I experienced a profound trip, and I don't know what to make of it. I had one ounce of Amanitas, split between two bags (roughly 16g in one, 12g in the other), three grams of Salvia 10x, one gram of Salvia 6x, 9 whippets and the plan to pick up the nitrous cracker and maybe some opium or grass later in the day. This would be my first time with this mushroom.
I had planned to spend the day at the park in the woods, but the park was off-limits for some reason. So, I took a long walk to the movie theatres and purchased a ticket for the movie Cars at 12:00 noon. I consumed maybe twelve grams of amanitas and went into the two hour movie. With about a half hour left I started to feel nauseated so I took a trip to the bathroom in case I needed to barf. Nothing happened, and I figured the mushrooms were getting to work. The movie ended at 2:00 and I headed outside.
As soon as I stepped outside, I noticed my gait was half-hazard, clumsily and slowly barreling down the sidewalk. I knew that I needed a ride, and I needed it fast. Big blotches of bland color started appearing and disrupting the real scenery, and as I tried to dial numbers I started twitching involuntarily. After calling four people, and even telling them the urgency of my situation, each person declined help. God damnit. With the color patches taking up more and more of my vision each minute, I knew I had to walk to my friend's house, a safe haven, who was maybe a half hour walk away. My original thinking was that I didn't want to be tripping in the middle of a parking lot, attracting everybody's attention (which later happened anyway), so I needed to get away. After twenty minutes of crossing across roads, yards, parking lots, every other step would be a mistep, tripping over my own two feet. The same moment I would almost fall, color (a little brighter now) flooded my sight. I stumbled my way, somehow, to within twenty yards of the safe haven. Every five feet I would be flooded with color and fall forward, landing on my hands and knees. I needed to get there as fast as possible (It was maybe 2:45 and he didn't get off work until 6). Four people in two different houses would stare in disbelief at my drug induced stupor, falling on my ass in delirium, just to get back up and do it again two seconds later. I made it to the house, and going up the three steps my foot caught a step, and I fell flat on my fucking face onto the wooden porch and blacked out. I turned myself over somehow and heard one of the neighbors ask *Hey, sir, are you okay?* I lifted my head up briefly and fell down again, cracking the back of my head on the porch, again. I'm guessing this is when they called 911.
While blinking in and out of conciousness, a thought would pass through my head. The thought was along the lines of finding out everything there is to know about anything, through the experiences of other people. So I decided to let go of the current situation and see what the mushroom would show me.
I opened my eyes and there were three or four cops huddled around me, and I was laying there crippled. They asked me if I had any needles (that's all I heard anyhow) and of course I couldn't talk, so they searched my pockets and emptied all my drugs (all were legal). One cop commented on the whippets, saying *These stupid kids crack these chargers into balloons (which I also had on me) and inhale the nitrous*, as if he invented it himself, while another cop said *Yea, they also eat these mushrooms to get high. You fucking kid.* Great, just what I need at a time like this, not being able to explain what each thing really does and listening to them be high and mighty. Right now, I wasn't sure if this was really happening.
I took a big gulp of, well nothing, I just swallowed, and kind of similar to the movie the Yellow Submarine where the the elephant looking thing in the Nowhere Man scene sucks himself up, this weird thing happened. Each organ was broken down into smaller units, what I thought were atoms at first, but were probably the size of BBs. The skin started first, starting at my feet. A pebble sized piece of matter was rolling back against my skin, collecting my skin with it and removing it from existance, until it rolled up to the top of my head, then it started on the lowest organ again. The entire time I felt this little ball putting pressure everywhere it was. Then it was rolling up my liver, my stomach, and then eventually, it was rolling up my esophagus, and I was at that point in time where I gulped. The gulp swallowed up the little ball containing my body, my brain, my existance, and I was no more. This is where that thought played out, where I wondered what it would be like to know everything. Stupid me, it was like something was showing me the hard way of learning everything. The little ball moved to the cop patting my pockets down, and I learned everything that his brain knew. When he took a gulp, I heard everything he was saying at that exact moment before, when he said *You fucking kid*. This went to each person huddled around me. Then a thought came across, not my mind that didn't physically exist anymore, but I had a thought somehow, that this was going to go on for the rest of time, because I had to go through each and every person that those four people had contact with, ever. Then I had another thought, on that maybe this wasn't happening and it was the mushroom. That didn't matter, the little ball that sucked up all existance kept on rolling people and their knowledge up.
I suppose I was in the Emergency Room now, because between the image of regaining conciousness with doctors running back and forth around me, and cycling backwards through time on the knowledge of everything (which had to end eventually I knew, because that would be the starting point of time), there was something, no, somebody in my presence. Now I do believe in Christianity, but I don't practice religion, so I'm not sure if this played a role in the next part or not, but it was more surreal than life itself. This, person (which I believe was the Holy Spirit) handed me a balloon, and told me (not verbally) that I need to fill this balloon up. So, I breathed in it one time and it puffed up a little bit. I then flashed back to the quest of never-ending knowledge, and I knew I was getting close to the beginning. I don't remember exactly the timeline of these next couple things, so I'll just pick a timeline and go with it. I was being distracted far too much by learning the world to fill up this balloon, and was becoming hard pressed to fill the balloon up. The spirit kept urging me to fill it up, so I huffed out a lungful of air. I regained conciousness and could feel that the doctors were stressed, like they were going to lose me. Then, all of a sudden, it made sense. An image of my lung appeared, and I realized that I was filling up the balloon to fill up my lung. But now is not the time to care about my life, I was learning all there is to know.
The final person swallowed the little pebble containing everything, and I snapped into the person's body, which I believed was God himself. He was laying on a doctor's table, surrounded by surgeons, all with a concerned look on their faces. They said something along the lines of *Why are you pissing straight into the air?* (No, it wasn't me pissing, they had a catheter on me). Now, my parents don't approve of my drug use, and I was quickly whisked away to a scene where my physical body was in a casket surrounded by my two beloved parents. They said *Don't, do, DRUGS*, and with Christianity, it is said to obey your parents, and I was whisked back into the supposed body of God, who was pissing in the air. I was then condemned to Hell. I really didn't want to get into religion because this report is long enough already, but I feel that it needs explained. It's written that once a person dies and is condemned to Hell, 1000 years will pass until they are truly thrown into the lake of fire, but until then are put into somewhat of a holding tank (not purgatory, a mind Hell maybe?). Well, until those years were up, I realized I had to go through a psychological torture. This is when everything that the little pebble collected started rolling itself out. I had to relive the history of the earth, each and every person, until I was back into my body that was blacked out on the porch, and then it rolled itself back again. I realized that I could have avoided this, that I was so stupid. I went through two more tortures that I cannot really recall vividly, but they were no better than the first, and this is when the spirit came back to me. I gave up on filling the balloon with air. He urged me one last time to fill it up, and if this one last breath didn't work, then I could give up and take the eternal punishment. So, I took that last breath of air.
I was concious. Doctor's were screaming *We got him back!* They called me by my name and I was able to respond by grunting. About an hour passes of them stabilizing me. I realize that I have this thing shoved into my dick that's causing excrutiating pain (catheter). I tried pissing but it was like something was blocking it, like the tube was folded over. They hooked a hose up to my two nostrils and were pumping medicine into me. I tried pulling away because that hurt like hell (couldn't swallow as fast as it was pumping) and the nurses were getting pissed because I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I was tossed from the spirit world into the physical world, expected to know the procedures I was being put through. I got through the pains and was taken to get an X-Ray and a catscan. Precautions because I landed on my head, and thankfully they came out clean. I drank some charcoal before getting these exams done, and when I was taken back to my room, puked everything back up. At least I didn't have color blotches ruling my vision anymore. They left me alone for a while and I reflected on my experiences. I told them what I ate (well, the fuzz took all my drugs before they saw anything and because I was twitching violently they thought I was tweaking on speed) and they went over the whole routine of *Well, do you think this is fun?* Oh well, there are more important things to worry about now than someone's brainwashed opinion because of one bad accident. The time was 8:30PM, about five hours after blacking out, and I was released to go home. I still have to call about payment because I have no health insurance.
I know this report is extremely long, but I want other people to hear about my profound experience. It wasn't too smart to eat so many mushrooms when I didn't personally know the effects, and to go walking around tripping balls, pretty much being unprepared, but I feel that this has changed me permanently. I've been through lots of different crazy times with drugs, but this one definitely tops the list.
Now, I classified this as a near death experience, but has somebody else been through something like this due to hallucinogens and a knockout? I don't know what to believe. And, where do I go from here?
Thanks for your time.
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