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InvisibleKerbouchardS
Stranger
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Registered: 03/18/06
Posts: 9,823
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Mezcal]
    #5852837 - 07/12/06 10:13 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I drove past a dead raccoon tonight, he was in the center of the lane, no one had hit him, except initial impact, It was a side blow, he is bleeding from the mouth, the body is perfect. Typical male raccoon in his prime. His coat is beautiful. As I drove past the soul beckoned me back. I picked him up with some work gloves and put him in my truck, I examined the body to make sure it was flawless and drove on... as I was turning around I found a giant patch of edible boletus mushrooms in this persons yard that stood out greatly.

So, this raccoon is in my truck bed. I'd like to skin him. I think it's gonna be really bloody. Most I've cleaned is a squirrel or fish. I need to do this right, I'd like to cure the hide for a nice soft addition to make a hat of the don of the wild men. Poor thing was asking to be buried. He tried to invade my mind, the raccoons soul was lingering on him for about 10 minutes before it past. Strangely enough, I was high enough to feel his spirit rise and pass on. I held the ceremony for myself, and thanked Nature for life.

I want to walk around in Daniel boon outfits with musket rifles and cannons, shooting apple seeds.
ONLY IN AMERICA CAN DANIEL BOON FIRE APPLE SEEDS FROM CANNONS
:tongue:


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"War Doesn't Decide Who's Right... It Decides Who's Left."


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Kerbouchard]
    #5852843 - 07/12/06 10:14 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

ok, time for you and I to go back in OTD...


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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Offlinenookjohn
Nooker
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Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 1,560
Loc: Dancin' in the street
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Mezcal]
    #5852867 - 07/12/06 10:19 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Sometimes their glands are empty.


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InvisibleMezcal
Registered: 08/11/05
Posts: 1,980
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? *DELETED* [Re: Mezcal]
    #5852878 - 07/12/06 10:21 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Post deleted by Mezcal

Reason for deletion: old



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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Mezcal]
    #5852891 - 07/12/06 10:23 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

:lol:

that was worth downloading quicktime!


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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OfflineBoglyn
Put them on theglass
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Registered: 10/15/01
Posts: 513
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Jim]
    #5852919 - 07/12/06 10:27 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jim said:
my sand wedge would have killed him just the same




I wont turn this into a clubs vs guns debate because that seems to hijack this thread.  But I am willing to bet you that I could shoot a racoon quitely where you would have to wack on him quite a few times to kill him. 

Maybe we should start a new thread.  Golf club vs .22 who would win  :wink:


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The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
---Galileo


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Boglyn]
    #5852930 - 07/12/06 10:29 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

but I wouldn't have to worry about a freak gun accident...

trust me, I love my guns...

I am a proud owner... I just wouldn't shoot one in any environment where I wasn't positive the bullet wouldn't come back at me...


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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OfflineBoglyn
Put them on theglass
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Registered: 10/15/01
Posts: 513
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Mezcal]
    #5852931 - 07/12/06 10:29 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

snyder said:
movie! mp4 video (ipod format, use quicktime)




lol that is freaking awesome!


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The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
---Galileo


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OfflineBoglyn
Put them on theglass
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Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Jim]
    #5852933 - 07/12/06 10:30 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jim said:
but I wouldn't have to worry about a freak gun accident...

trust me, I love my guns...

I am a proud owner... I just wouldn't shoot one in any environment where I wasn't positive the bullet wouldn't come back at me...




I can respect that.


--------------------
The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
---Galileo


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
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Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Boglyn]
    #5852950 - 07/12/06 10:32 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I could always stab it with the bayonet from my sks... that would be a median...


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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OfflineBoglyn
Put them on theglass
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Registered: 10/15/01
Posts: 513
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Jim]
    #5852959 - 07/12/06 10:34 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jim said:
I could always stab it with the bayonet from my sks... that would be a median...




Always the mediator.


--------------------
The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
---Galileo


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Boglyn]
    #5852969 - 07/12/06 10:35 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I try to keep everyone happy...


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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OfflineLeanin
Student of theIron Game
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Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 2,231
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Jim]
    #5852984 - 07/12/06 10:38 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I woulda choked him out with my smoke....

but seriously, club to the nose repeated times, or a .22 to the ear.

those are some tough fuckers.


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,922
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Leanin]
    #5852988 - 07/12/06 10:39 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I've killed a few raccoons in my day... once with a motorcycle...


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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OfflineKonnrade
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Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 13,833
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Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Jim]
    #5853055 - 07/12/06 10:54 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jim said:
my sand wedge would have killed him just the same




I'm not a golfer, I'd be more likely to have a gun within access than a club... and my baseball bats are buried in a corner in the garage.

I bet it would be fun to clobber a raccoon with a titleist though :tongue:


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I find your lack of faith disturbing


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InvisibleJim
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Registered: 04/07/04
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Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Konnrade]
    #5853096 - 07/12/06 11:03 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I would use my sand wedge.. it is probably my must sturdy club...


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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OfflineKonnrade
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Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Jim]
    #5853138 - 07/12/06 11:10 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

*FWACK!*

Yep... that's one dead raccoon


--------------------

I find your lack of faith disturbing


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Invisibledurban_poison
myco contractor
Registered: 09/19/01
Posts: 2,417
Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: Konnrade]
    #5853578 - 07/13/06 01:21 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

you could always feed him salt then leave a strong dose of poppy tea in a bowl nearby. he would be out, or so itchy he'd want you to scratch him.


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OfflineKonnrade
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Registered: 09/13/05
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Re: Raccoon in my house... Advice? [Re: durban_poison]
    #5853638 - 07/13/06 02:07 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)




...





--------------------

I find your lack of faith disturbing


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