This was one hell of a trip.
My buddies bailed on me at the last minute, but we had no idea when we could meet again, so I decided to trip alone. I drove out to the state forest like planned and got acquainted with the area a little bit and grabbed a map. Went over to the trail head and was ready to go.
I ate about an eighth of an oz. plain and washed it down with some cranberry juice. The trail was pretty rugged to start out and there was poison ivy EVERYWHERE. I’m pretty sensitive to the stuff, so I’m sure I’ll be covered in it and licking my wounds for a few days come tomorrow.
Well about five minutes down the path, I stopped in a clearing and pulled my mp3 player out and while I was untangling the headphones, I could feel the mushrooms coming on and there was a sense of urgency to get things right so I could settle in for the ride. I put on the 2000-03-10 - Eugene, OR string cheese incident concert. Damn the opening song was amazing for the come up. After about 20 minutes the next song was getting going, and so was I.
The trail got narrow and began a switchback decline into the unknown. Every tier lower I got, the higher I got, and on one turn I saw this huge tree covered in moss like it was from another planet or something, and I had to stop and admire it.
I was cruising down this slope, and when I got to the bottom the song “best feeling” was just killing me and I had to let loose and just see. And the veil was lifted. I could see. Like I had opened my eyes for the first time. An intense heat engulfed me, and the shrooms were hitting hard. I really wanted a couch to lie down on, but I settled for a dried creek bed. This was the most intense part. I just lay there in awe. AWE.
When I closed my eyes, a very comforting light greeted me kind of like a sunrise. Very little can be said here. Damn. If you’ve been there you know. Perhaps I will get better at describing what seems like a distant memory better in future trips. I will say that as I lay there, I was glad I only ate an eighth even though everything was perfect.
It was tough to get up and I was somewhat dazed, but I planned on hiking a 10 miles, and only had so much sunlight. This section of the trail was amazing. It was full of ferns and huge trees. Amazing. I am just absorbed in everything dancing my ass off.
About an hour down the trail I imagine since I had no timepiece. I encounter my first bit of life other than the incredibly lively forest. These two horses were getting a drink, and I had a brief conversation with them and moved on. The trail was tough to follow and soon I had no idea where the hell I was at in that given instant and life in general.
A downed tree covered the trail and I decided to sit there and take inventory. Hmmm inventory. I could have been there for days, and I would not be surprised. Yes the mushrooms are a great aid in just putting it all out on the table. I got wrapped up in this location like it was my home and I talked aloud and made friends with the little ecosystem that resided there. Once I stopped and looked around, the amount of life all the way down to what would usually seem insignificant engulfed me. No words can really do justice here, but I would have been perfectly content in making my exit from this earth. Sitting on this dead tree, the impermanence yet eternal nature of life mesmerized me.
I know what others say when they get the feeling that we should be doing something while tripping. That’s exactly how I felt, but what? And the thought loop kept returning to:
Well we’ll just sit here and enjoy this. Yeah it’s OK. The whole situation was rather amusing.
I was more content then I can remember, and along comes the craziest looking hornet I have ever seen. It’s huge and all these crazy fluorescent colors. It’s zooming along and it stops dead right in front of me. And it looks straight at me and then it sways back and forth sizing me up from all angles. I’m just floored. Then it seems content and takes off. Holy shit, I’m glad I didn’t have to tangle with that thing, but I just remained a spectator to the nature of things. I will say that this trip had a theme to it of feeling like I was a guest in all these other creatures’ homes. Which I realized is a bit untrue since we’re all here living and dieing equally.
I decided to move on down the trail. And by then I was getting very settled into the trip and felt like I wasn’t even tripping, yet when I stopped and just let go, I could see very clearly that this was not how I normally perceived things.
I was talking to myself off and on and when I stumbled upon a woman in the stream collecting something, I was somewhat conversing with myself and my surroundings. I saw her and waved feeling a little embarrassed since my ego was not completely shattered. These mushrooms are humbling. She sent the trip in another direction and I began to integrate some of what I had seen, and did some personal inventory.
I began to feel sad and lightheartedly contemplated killing myself walking through this particularly lonely section of the trail. I can see how one can get sucked down that trap. Well soon enough I was back to feeling on top of the world and enjoying every breath.
I seriously had very little clue as to where I was at since the map kind of sucked and it was a pretty desolate sometimes unmarked at the junctions of other trails. At every one of these junctions I stopped and analyzed my surroundings before deciding which way to go. Some of don Juan’s teachings really started to make sense here. I could see how a warrior’s way of deliberating and then acting without regret and abandonment was very wise indeed. I began to feel like this could very well be my last “battle” on earth as the Castaneda books put it as the sun began to settle in the horizon leaving the forest below pretty dim.
I began to consider the idea of having to sleep out here in the middle of nowhere right in the middle of the trail, yet I was determined to sleep in my own bed tonight. I was rationing the last bit of water I had left just wetting my lips. I felt what it was like to have to actually work to survive for a bit. I felt many of my animal instincts magnified.
I started to get a blister and started to limp my way up an incline. What the hell am I doing here I wondered. Yet the same could be said for my entire existence, so I didn’t let that thought consume me. Well it hurt pretty badly, and I considered taking the boot off, but then the concept of will don Juan speaks of made so much sense.
I could see that living here on earth can get tough, and all these species are competing for survival and will determines the path of life, and ultimately determines who are the most successful. Well the blister suddenly seemed rather trivial, and it ceased to be a problem.
It’s dark now and up ahead I finally see some identifiable marking and it looks promising. I think I know where I’m at and I take the fork to the left. Damn it’s dark and the forest is alive and I can feel it. I press on and pick up the pace. As I crash through the woods, creatures are scurrying and taking cover everywhere. I think they wanted little to do with me at that hour. I kind of wanted to get back to my car too.
Well after about 30 minutes of hiking in pitch black, I concluded the 10 mile low gap loop. Not sure how I didn’t end up sleeping out in the woods tonight, but I’m sitting here with a smile on my face.
Peace.
Edited by palmersc (07/11/06 11:26 PM)
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Yesterday I tripped again, but this time with some woodrose seeds. I went back and did the other 10 mile loop. Definitely not as pleasant as the shrooms.
I decided to scrape the seeds since some think this helps with the nausea. It took about 45 minutes to scrape 8 seeds perfectly. Then I crushed them up and put them in some cranberry juice where they soaked for about an hour as I drove.
I sipped on the juice for about 30 minutes until it was all gone. About an hour later I began to feel very lethargic and it was a struggle as I dragged my feet for the next couple of miles. Hell, most of the hike was a struggle on these seeds. I was SLOWLY coming up. I expected quite a wait, but these seeds really surprised me.
About five miles in the nausea became quite obvious as I came to the first of the 3 lakes on the trail. I think a lot of it is mental, but I had to lie down for a bit. I was probably peaking at this point. I've never had LSD, and it was different than mushrooms. Yet still somewhat mild.
Everything was bright and vivid and I felt clear headed. Getting up was very difficult since I probably could have passed out right there, and as soon as I took a few more steps, I was back to feeling like shit.
I walked about 2 more miles like this and began to feel a lot better. Next thing I know, it all came up and I'm bent over heaving what little I have in my stomach. From this point on the hike was a lot of fun, and the mental aspect of the trip was clicking along pretty good.
I didn't see anybody out there, and I'm glad I wasn't with any friends since I just wanted to be left alone for the most part during the trip. I had to do a test run on the seeds before giving them to others. I cannot recommend the current seeds over at BBB. I tripped mildly off 8, and it was mostly unpleasant. I'll probably give LSA another shot, but not with these seeds and not for awhile.
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