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 wishcouldeletethis
 
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 1,182
Loc: georgia
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 Becoming delusional schizophrenic *DELETED* 
#5822101 - 07/05/06 12:25 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Post deleted by wishcouldeletethisReason for deletion: k
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 leery11
I Tell You What!
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 9 years, 14 days
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what happened to that person who was overcome with an "entity" ?
i share your plight actually. it's not so much that you are the only person that exists. it's more like each person is the only person that exist.
they have their own perceptual realities which normally they walk along, which are overlayed with everyone elses sort of "given" reality.
but sometimes they get derailed and start meshing into something else kind of like the source of reality...... or perhaps they cross into other people's paths.
so to them now, they are connected to that grocery store, instead of connected to their egos.... so the way they nevigate the grocery store is the way they would navigate themselves, so they come accross signs that are relevant to what they are thinking.
but is it that they come across signs because they thought those thoughts.... or they thought those thoughts because they were meant to come across the signs?
Separation is an illusion. But individuality isn't really. Now, let's say there is an omniscient consciousness. That consciousness cannot really be functioning very well if it's in a human body.
So you know..... I guess that's what drugs do. show you the big picture. show you everything.
quoth bill hicks "we are all of one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively."
if you wanna be a human you just need to stop tripping, maybe forever, maybe just for a while. i don't think it's a good idea to continue.
we're meant to stay in our human bodies till we're meant to be something else. maybe it means you can have an occasional psychedeli cpeepshow, maybe not.
don't wanna stress things too much though man. Just surrender to daily living and note the synchronicities. I think everyone has synchronicities at every point in time, it's just a matter of being mindful of your mind and your connection to your environment.
and yes, tv and advertisements make it INSANE! i can empathize with you on that.
thinking about dreaming right when hank hill says "yes, that's like in my dream." as i walk into the room, unaware that king of the hill was even on.
my latest one.
there are probably many more i'm overlooking. and with due reason.
normally we shield ourselves from these things becasue we aren't ready for them.
and, incidentally, the best things to TUNE INTO would be nature.... trippping to tv is like tuning into a collective mind full of junk........ tripping to music is like enterting the musicians mind, etc.
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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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wishcouldeletethis
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 1,182
Loc: georgia
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 Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic *DELETED* [Re: leery11]
#5822170 - 07/05/06 12:46 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Post deleted by wishcouldeletethisReason for deletion: k
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wishcouldeletethis
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 1,182
Loc: georgia
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Post deleted by wishcouldeletethisReason for deletion: k
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Shorttyd
cosmonaught
Registered: 07/09/02
Posts: 39
Last seen: 17 years, 9 months
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I totally know what you are talking about with the TV thing. For like a week I thought I was on some sort of Truman Show. Everything in my life was fabricated for me. The TV spoke directly to me, about my days events, and would help me make decisions for future events. It comes in waves, but there is always the notion in the back of my mind. For a while it was pretty extreme but I feel like I am finding the way back to the path. Some coincidences are just too freaky though. Make sure you tell yourself, it is just coincidence, over and over again. Thats the only thing that remotely helps me. Seriously though I think I snapped something and I have sought treatment and have been diagnosed with depression. I was like uhh so the TV talks to depressed people? I don't think 75% of councilors and psychiatrist are qualified to make diagnosis.
I was talking to one of my friends about it, when I was in over my head. I said, what if there is some sort of ESP or brainwaves that put my thoughts onto tv. Then he said, what if life is just controlled by a finite set of rules and your experiences are just that of the average person you see in your favorite sitcoms?
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leery11
I Tell You What!
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 9 years, 14 days
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Quote:
puritybinge said:
In all seriousness what you wrote triggered an episode
your main post actually kind of freaked me out myself, but I don't have any episodes to be triggered.... just fears and emotional holes.
oh and I've had the TV talk to me too, verbally answer my questions, and when my trip was over south park told me about my trip and everything i was thinking about in eery and specific detail.
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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (07/05/06 11:08 AM)
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny 
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic [Re: leery11]
#5826696 - 07/06/06 05:45 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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i too have gone through that. you'll feel 8 billion times better as you learn to let it go.
theory: perhaps instead of you seeing how the universe or reality really is, you're actually just seeing how your brain works and who you are (the lsd serving sort of like colored dye in water). the more you take the more things are going to look massively universally connected and personal and all that, because you're becoming more and more conscious of the fundamental levels of yourself.
in other words, the tv isn't talking to you, you're putting words in the tv's mouth talking to yourself...
and i guess that wasn't the best way to phrase it because most of us have had that whole no distinction bettween self and other thing, again, there is a very clear distinction between self and other. its not always functional to assume that other people are not themselves (differnt/seperate) and are in fact the same as you on some superdimensional level. that whole line of thought could be caused by a drug that can make you look at yourself real hard.
oh yeah, the k3y part: the brain is always looking to explain things, if you're looking at yourself really hard your brain is going to start trying to explain parts of yourself as belonging to the environment because your perceptions of the environment are very much tied up in who you are... know what i mean? it is you that is percieving, it could be easy for your brain to confuse the differnce bettween what is you and what is being percieved, and then make up theories and find patterns to support them...
fuck i don't know if i'm making any sense.
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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
Edited by truekimbo2 (07/06/06 05:48 AM)
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leery11
I Tell You What!
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 9 years, 14 days
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic [Re: truekimbo2]
#5826878 - 07/06/06 07:59 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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"in other words, the tv isn't talking to you, you're putting words in the tv's mouth talking to yourself..."
yeah exactly, but are those the same things? I mean I know that with marijuana you have the TV talk to you by filtering out EVERYTHING that is irrelevant.
So if you think "i'm a popsicle" then 90% of the time you are so stoned that you aren't paying enough attention to the TV, but are just going "oh man... i'm a popsicle........ .man..... man... i'm a popsicle..... i'm a popsicle" and really tripping out about it... so then when the old guy on family guy asks if you like popsicles you go WTF!!!
But it somehow feels like more than that. If you are your perceptions, and you are.... then you are your environment, because you are ALWAYS in your OWN environment, which is different than everyone elses environment. So the time that YOU choose to turn on the radio is different than anyone else.....
or the time that YOU decide to go to the store, and there is music playing in the store that is relevant to your current situation, that is different than everyone else.
we have so much white noise in the form of constant messages (every form of media is always sending us messages, CONSTANTLY) that people are trained to ignore it and view it as normal.
but it's actually quite bizarre, so if you are paying attention you start to notice things.
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imagine that an alien lands, and is completely confused.... he stumbles across a billboard that says "Just do it" ...... just do what he asks? Just do what? He is captivated and enthralled by it. This is his only point of reference, surely it is relevant to his current standing.
And... "Just do it" isn't there something that all of us wnat to do? Maybe the alien really needed to eat. So he thinks "yes.... I must eat... thank you for reminding me." he then stumbles around in a daze, tripping balls because EVERYTHING is new to him....... and he sees a "I'm lovin it" sign..... this continues.
But the more signs he sees, the less novel they become, and the more he filters out with his base delusions.
His base delusion must be that he must "do it" and he's not sure what "it" is.... so this base delusion that he must "do it" influences the context with which he views every single other sign. Pretty soon he has an elaborate delusion set up...... each media he encounters can only do one of two things:
-be completely neutral, and thusly ignored.
-or have an ominous and forboding sense of importance.
this is why it's not so good to watch the tv while high. because frankly anything and everything is embedeed if not in the show you are watching, then in the commercials. it's very open ended and leaves room for ample "delusion" making.
but it IS comunication though....
now it's a bit tricky, because let's say you are tripped out and thinking about God while channel surfing. You MAY randomly put together exactly what "God" needs you to hear amidst the random selection of all the voices, but the tricky thing is that all the voices have a social agenda to them.
for instnace if you find a religious channel, it will reinforce the Christian God.... but what if that isn't the right God? There is only really "one" consensus on the TV and it isn't representative of HUMANITY or even America... it's just representative of the NORM.
But ... the random access to anything... the fact that if you are wondering "should I?" and you change the channel.... the next word spoken could be an emphatic "yes" it's all pretty out there.
=========================
here's an illustration from before i cared or noticed synchronicity....
I called my weed dealer about getting some acid. He said he could get me some. So I was at my parents eager to get a hold of him..... trying to find out..... and a new family guy was on. This was the first time the episode ever aired. It's the one where Mort bowls a perfect game, and when he gets the last strike he says "say no to acid!".
Now I found that curious.... but I was like "huh! well.... whatever" I still wanted the acid.
The dealer said he couldn't get any. Which is probably a very good thing.
I find FG's random drug interjections very interesting.
So what does it mean? Should I not do acid? What about every single other person that has seen that episode? It can't necessarily be so and black and white that acid is forbidden and should never be done, ever....... the forbidden fruit of Eden.... can it?? Doesn't the drug have some benefit?
Afterall I read recently that Hoffman said a 10ug dose is better than ANY anti-depressant and leaves no side effects, but the pharmaceuticals wouldn't hear such a thing.
I surely believe it from my experiences with just taking 1 HBWR, I know it's not the same but...... 1 HBWR is a good "anti-depressant" if you ask me, to be taken once in a while if you are down and want a quick way back up. Makes you happy, appreciative.... no real side effects. Tastes bad though. Kind of hurts your muscles.
So is acid forbidden? Why did Seth put that in Family Guy? Why did it air when I was trying to buy acid? Was it meant as a communication for me? Was it only relevant to that me in that point in time..... would I be encouraged to do it now? (I don't think so based upon how trippy everything is even though I haven't done drugs in a long time... my chi is opening up)
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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
Edited by leery11 (07/06/06 08:15 AM)
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kotik
fuckingsuperhero
Registered: 06/29/04
Posts: 3,531
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic [Re: truekimbo2]
#5826882 - 07/06/06 08:00 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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at least being delusional will allow you to save your money that would otherwise be spent on lsd.
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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.
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wishcouldeletethis
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 1,182
Loc: georgia
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic *DELETED* [Re: kotik]
#5827794 - 07/06/06 01:56 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Post deleted by wishcouldeletethisReason for deletion: k
Edited by wishcouldeletethis (07/06/06 02:26 PM)
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leery11
I Tell You What!
Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 9 years, 14 days
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I don't know. We are forbidden to contemplate Good and Evil ..... the fruit was of knowledge of Good and Evil......
do psychedeics do that? I think (and I had a vision while sleeping that explained this story to me pretty well but I don't recall it right now) it's because judgement is for God to do...... we cannot possibly begin to accept that task.
To do so we will be unconsciously judging ourselves too, because we are just as guilty as everyone else.
This is why the Bible emphasises judge not lest ye be judged more severely.
And LOVE YOUR ENEMY. Love him like you love yourself.
See there is so much "evil" in the world that if you explored it all and amassed knowledge of it, it would consume you.
So perhaps they could be. I learned things that I am now unlearning because of marijuana...... things which I hold to be mushily true but not necessarily solid........ I'm wavering back and forth between thinking the TV is evil, neutral, and assumedly if there is a universal consciousness it can communicate to us through synchronicity quite well... perhaps fish the good people out of the TV's grips by communicating with them various things.
See the other thing is. If you call something evil. That's very harsh. If you believe in evil there is a HUGE schism created.... it is very difficult to love. To have compassion......
but if you put the yin/yang together... and you just say "okay things fit together this way" and you don't adopt delusions of grandeur with black and white thinking, you have a healthier peaceful life.
Shine good vibes to W and North Korea alike, non-discriminating love.... though obviously you have moral standards and do not approve of their actions. If there's gonna be an enemy, might as well be at peace with it and not cave into the fight, right?
this is a bit off topic.
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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo! ....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human...... Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!
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wishcouldeletethis
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 1,182
Loc: georgia
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic *DELETED* [Re: leery11]
#5827909 - 07/06/06 02:39 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Post deleted by wishcouldeletethisReason for deletion: k
Edited by wishcouldeletethis (07/06/06 02:47 PM)
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Clean
the lense
Registered: 05/11/03
Posts: 2,374
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I want to encourage everyone here to cancel their TV service, smash the television with a sledge hammer(or sell it) and spend the money you save good food.
TV involves brain-entrainment technology. And the messages broadcast are extremely sinister. We're being programmed and laughing right along.
Being in your state of expanded awareness you are able to notice these effects.
To the original poster: NO WAY are you schizophrenic or anything like that.
It's not you, it's the TV. You're just now noticing how malevolent it is.
I should rephrase..
You're noticing how it can affect you, if you allow it. Many are unaware that TV is actually affecting their consciousness in ways not related to their ability to follow a story.
To the poster who mentioned the TV talking to depressed people: you've got it. The programs speak the masked language of depression. The people are depressed because of their TV consumption.
It is how you interpret it your head that is so important. That's why ads are crafted to tickle your emotions. But the engineering of consciousness does not stop with advertising.
Again I encourage everone to cease their TV consumption even if there's one or two shows you really like, save the money and save your consciousness.
Edited by Clean (07/08/06 03:44 PM)
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic [Re: Clean]
#5837956 - 07/09/06 06:21 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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uh two things. one i notice you guys talking in outdated archetypes made up thousands of years ago by poeple who understood and experianced less than we do today. realise them for what they are, find thier flaws and re-write the codes for the better, and maybe include a little bit of self serving in there.
second, i don't know if any of you particularly believe in this, but once i learned and practiced precognition and telepathy, cosmic synchronisity dissolved, it was an illusion created by a confused mind seeking answers. i now understand where the info is coming from and through what channels (i mean to some extent, anyone that has REAL skill and ability will tell you they don't understand it other than operationally) i highly suggest you look into that for yourselves.
just so you know, i consider this one of the very few actually important posts content wise i've ever made at the shroomery.
i'm going to cross post to mysticism forum.
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=5837996&page=0&vc=1#Post5837996
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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
Edited by truekimbo2 (07/09/06 07:11 AM)
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Veritas
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic [Re: Clean]
#5838137 - 07/09/06 09:39 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I agree about cancelling TV service, and will add a recommendation to quit reading magazines/newspapers, listening to commercial radio stations, and playing video/computer games. Also, keep your internet time to a maximum of one hour per day, preferably at sites without relentless ADVERTISEMENTS. Unplug from Madison Avenue and the Bad News.
If it helps, tell yourself that you are taking a break from these inputs in order to distinguish what you think and feel from what you are cognitively consuming. Set a time limit on it...say three months, during which time you will write in a journal daily & observe your habitual thought processes.
You'll be amazed at how much of your distress and mental disorganization is ironed out during your break. You may even decide to make it permanent. 
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Catalysis
EtherealEngineer
Registered: 04/23/02
Posts: 1,742
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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There was once a kid called chemicalblue who used to post in the philosophy/spirituality forum years ago. You sound just like him, only he didn't think there was any possible problem. Something terrible happened to him and he is not around anymore. Other people on this forum or the mods probably know more than me about this.
Anyways, I would say just lay off for a while and keep yourself grounded. It kind of sucks but a few months off from cid will do wonders for bringing you back to this reality. Integration is the key.
Edited by Catalysis (07/10/06 07:25 PM)
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some1whoisntme
Stranger
Registered: 09/21/05
Posts: 882
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic [Re: Catalysis]
#5859661 - 07/14/06 08:47 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I'm glad I saw this thread. I have been worrying about this a lot lately as well. I see little but sinister mind-programming in television and radio. I have TV but I rarely watch it, and can't stand listening to the radio. I was starting to think I was going crazy because I never made any of these connections before... Glad it's not just me.
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"Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"
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Andy21
Armchairanarchist
Registered: 01/01/06
Posts: 288
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
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I really do think as was mentioned previously in the thread that you have merely learned the process and 'feeling' by which your brain works, not some ultimate truth. Symbolic representation the chains of concepts and the like, it is enough to make you crazy. Have you ever tried mindmapping? I find people who have done shrooms are excellent at it and grasp the concept instantly. Try it and you will see what I mean. You have seen the gears by which your thought works and now your brain is trying to incorporate it into your worldview, it will never fit because it is the method by which your worldview is formed (now you have like a wack a mole in your worldview with the mole being your endless philosophical speculations). I think really now you should focus on the external world and leave the internal alone for a while. Earn some money, make some friends. This post is as much to myself as you, this endless speculation about the nature of reality is exhausting not to mention boring and pointless. Just take vitamins and do some excercise and get involved in your external life for a while (Not that you are not already I mean how can I know whether you are or are not!).
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truekimbo2
Cya later, friends.
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 9,234
Loc: ny
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic [Re: Andy21]
#5864047 - 07/16/06 01:49 AM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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kudo's andy21, i believe you are entirely correct.
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You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.
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soulcircus
Stranger
Registered: 05/09/06
Posts: 1,300
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
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Re: Becoming delusional schizophrenic *DELETED* [Re: truekimbo2]
#5864320 - 07/16/06 04:26 AM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Post deleted by soulcircusReason for deletion: .
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Slow down is all. 
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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.
" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.
With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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