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OldWoodSpecter
waiting


Registered: 02/01/05
Posts: 4,033
Loc: mountains and lakes
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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privileged by god??
#5816842 - 07/03/06 05:37 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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This is how I feel sometimes.
I've seen a lot of pain in my life, and each time I felt that pain I though how I was wrong in believing how my life makes sense, how it has a path and a purpuse. And then every time other things happened which showed that my pain was due to misinformation, lack of faith in myself, and pessimism.
And in the end it always worked out perfectly.
Never in my life have I had a pain that was reasonable to feel (like having a true human tragedy)
On my path, people around me have fallen, been broken, destroyed, failed etc. But I always followed this path upstairs, even though all I've shown was lack of faith in myself and in this devinity that I believe keeps pushing me on and on. I simply can't fail, as if the rule of lack of faith doesn't apply to me. Even when I willingly try to give up, I get pushed back, thousand times, like a curse, but a positive one.
I feel as if, while other peoples lives are shaped by their faith and beliefs, and they fail all the time because they lack it, this devine force just won't let me fail, as if It does not even care about my faith, but just keeps pushing me as if I have this "VIP" card to spiritual progress (and existential too). My life just keeps getting better and better, even though my expectations are constantly such that I find it hard to imagine myself futher from a few years, because I always feel as if things are going to get such that I will either die or kill myself by that time.
I can't remember the number of times I've been absolutley convinced that things are going down hill and that everything is over. In fact I'm a pretty depressive man, lacking confidence in my own skill and even luck. Even psychology would suggest I should fail in everything I consider to be success in life, but no, It always works out.
Have you ever felt privileged by god or some other devine force like that? What would be the reason for that? am I insane?
-------------------- I descend upon your earth from the skies I command your very souls you unbelievers Bring before me what is mine
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Nashbar
just strange.... on drugs

Registered: 07/16/05
Posts: 3,536
Loc: strawberry field
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
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the term is "priviledged existence"... some people have it from birth, some people don't, some people earn it during life. Whatever the case may be, what really matters is what you do with your existence.
"all is vanity and vexation of spirit"
All, including the money, intelligence, women and property that seem like the best of life.
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OldWoodSpecter
waiting


Registered: 02/01/05
Posts: 4,033
Loc: mountains and lakes
Last seen: 17 years, 3 months
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Re: privileged by god?? [Re: Nashbar]
#5817009 - 07/03/06 06:26 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I have neither money nor women nor much intelligence, so don't count me in
-------------------- I descend upon your earth from the skies I command your very souls you unbelievers Bring before me what is mine
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EternalCowabunga
Being of Great Significance


Registered: 04/04/05
Posts: 7,152
Loc: Time and Space
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How do you define success?
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Yes, You are insane. I wouldn't have said anything as it's not polite, but you asked of course.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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BlueCoyote
Beyond


Registered: 05/07/04
Posts: 6,697
Loc: Between
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Quite often I recognize it as well. The more I let 'it' go, the more I receive...
But, perhaps that counts only in 'healthy' situations, because if something is damaging to oneself, one should be prepared to do something against the opposed, or do something for one's 'health' that is challenged. It seems to be a walk on the razorblade, when one has to relay on oneself to manage an 'unpleasant' situation and not hope for external 'saviours', or when just let it go with the flow to receive the pleasant 'fruits of the universe' in the now and here.
Sorry, just rambling...
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