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Jfisher
fungusaficionado


Registered: 05/24/05
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Sealand
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Do you think that maybe all your reading about Mckenna's phenomena may have influenced that trip? Good to hear you got your closure, or something close to it.
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ClammyJoe
Azurescen Head



Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 3,691
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Jesus, you get a lot done during the day.
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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np man...I know how fuckin nuts relationships can make ya feel(no trip even compares!) :P...I get so annoyed when I see all these stand up comedians making us guys out to be fuckin robots who want nothing more then sex and feel nothing...I don't relate to that shit at all...I wish I didn't feel all the shit I Feel but I do...and I wish sex was all I cared about that would be easy...but thats nowhere near the case
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Microcosmatrix
Spiral staircasetechnician


Registered: 10/20/05
Posts: 11,293
Loc: Ythan's house
Last seen: 17 years, 1 month
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Shoulda done L with me instead. tsk tsk
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some1whoisntme
Stranger

Registered: 09/21/05
Posts: 882
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
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I know the noises you're talking about. I just tripped again about a week ago after a loooong (more than 6 months) break after I had a trip similar to what you described. It was only 2.5g and I DEFINITELY still wasn't ready. Dying is a scary experience. I'd reccomend not tripping for a while even if you feel like you're ready for it.
I also have a similar girl situation. We had a really intense relaitonship and just kind of... quit without saying anything. It happens, but like others said you need to find the closure within yourself and move on. Those who say it's not worth it to dwell are wrong though. That's how you'll find the closure. Think through all the details of your relaitonship and try to find the truth that it wasn't going to work, and accept the good times you had, and move on.
It's kind of creepy how many correlations there are between your post and my own life. Feel free to PM me if you want. This too shall pass.
-------------------- "Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: So....Uh...Yeah, I'm grateful to be alive. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5812591 - 07/02/06 02:17 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Thanks everybody. Like I said, I'm not sure if it really did any good or not, but at least I took the intiative to do it right? I'm not exactly sure what to do now. I got her number again and I gave her mine and I offered to buy her a drink later in the week or nextweek or whenver, and she said she'd love that. I have a feeling it won't happen, but we'll see about that.
Walrus, you're right. I feel what you feel too and it's a lot to carry around and to think about. It can be overwhelming sometimes and all you can do is hope that the people who do choose to take on all that responsiblity well get rewarded somehow.
Jfisher, most likely. I can't rule it out. I just didn't think it operated like that. I still can't believe how fast that shit kicked in. It was like one minute, I was fine, the next minute I'm balls to the wall trying to hold on....
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Jfisher
fungusaficionado


Registered: 05/24/05
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Sealand
Last seen: 14 years, 9 months
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Heheheh, yeah tea is pretty good at that. I powdered an 1/8 into guava juice and chugged it on an empty stomach one morning and had one of those death experiences. I can't imagine doing more than that. Way too much chaos and confusion for my liking
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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I think its cool that even tho u view this trip as negative it ended up leading u in the right direction(and I'm not saying its always gonna happen this way but its still cool to see)
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: So....Uh...Yeah, I'm grateful to be alive. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5812805 - 07/02/06 03:49 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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I hope it did man. It's too early to tell. And I knew why I didn't want to talk to her, cuz now all I can do is sit here thinking about her.....I hope women know the power they have over us guys.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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ya I know man...I'm feeling a lot of what your feeling right now too...and I have no idea where its gonna take me...its very hard to be in a vulnerable spot like this...I just hope it works out for both of us
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: So....Uh...Yeah, I'm grateful to be alive. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5812843 - 07/02/06 04:03 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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It will. It's just the waiting part. Peaks and valleys and I've been in a valley for a year and I'm tired of the view. Hopefully theres a peak around the corner.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
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ya I've been in the valley for a while too but its really my own fault...k as u can probably tell I"m very emotional...that plus an oxy addiction = extremely fucked up mood swings and saying things I didn't mean...so now I gotta basically sit in limbo for a while so she knows that I really love her etc...I still don't think its gonna end up working out but she was very in love with me at one point...so if she still loves me after everything I Put her through well then its gotta be a forever kinda thing(I almost needed this time apart just to realize how much she meant to me) I honeslty wasn't sure if I'd get over her or not...I haven't...and I"m not sure yet if thats a good thing or not
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Quote:
Penguarky Tunguin said: It will. It's just the waiting part. Peaks and valleys and I've been in a valley for a year and I'm tired of the view. Hopefully theres a peak around the corner.

My last Pub post ever!
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie


Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 6 months, 23 days
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Sounds like a very intense trip. I'm always able to control my thoughts while tripping so I've never experienced something quite like that.
You should wait awhile until you think you can handle another trip like that.
As far as the girl goes. You'll get over it.
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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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That sound so much like my very first trip. I can't believe that.
Here's my story, it's long like yours, but it might help you out: ----------------------------------------------------------
I was 16 or 17 years old. One difference is this I ate 2 fresh cubes that were given to me by an old moderator of the hunting forum. They were found growing from stable shavings(horse poo + wood chips). Stable shavings cubes are notoriously more potent than regular cow poo cubes. Would have been great to know that before I ate them
I ate what was probably around 4-5 grams dry(but these were wet). I ate them at a friends house after he had eaten 1 and started tripping. I had to be home that night, so I drove home right after I ate them. The drive home took me 10 minutes. After being home for about 20-30 minutes, I started having the exact same things happen.
Here's the big difference: I was at home with my family. Mom and dad had no clue. They went to bed, and I went to bed shortly after they did, making sure that I wouldn't run into them. I crawled up the stairs because I had horrible cramps in my knees(seems to be the norm when I trip). I crawled into my bed, then the heard exact same noise. It freaked me the fuck out.
I have NEVER had any thoughts that were more insane. As I was coming up, my thoughts started to get derranged. I got scarred. I kept thinking to myself "This isn't happening, this isn't real, you just took a drug, it will wear off soon". Those thoughts turned into "What the FUCK have I done to myself? How the FUCK can mushrooms do this to me? What if I'm NEVER normal again? I can't live like this. I guess if that happens, I'll just kill myself." I was scarred as shit.
So I called a friend. Well, tried to call a friend. My eyes wouldn't focus and the trails were so intense that I couldn't see to dial. I called a wrong number and hung up on the dude. That scarred me too.
Eventually I peaked. The peak lasted probably an hour or more. During this time I forgot how to talk. I even had trouble remembering how to open my eyes. Once I finally opened them the void consumed me. I thought I had died. The void looked like being in space, I saw galaxies, planets, etc. I also saw some stuff that should have been horrifying, like flaming skulls with half the flesh torn of flying around (which were also laughing evily), and a bunch of there very dark/evil/morbit shit. Luckly I was more amused by the morbid images and sounds. I had no concept of my self, my room, or life in general. I thought I was going to forget how to breath. I thought about going to my mother for help. I had no clue what I'd say to her. I thought about telling her that I'd be poisioned or something. I just needed comfort.
I had to piss horribly(horray for shrooms being a diuretic), but I couldn't make my limbs work. I contemplated just pissing in the bed. I eventually made my limbs work and crawled into the bathroom. On my way back, my dad came into my room. I had to work the next day and he asked if I had set my alarm clock. I had no control over the volume of my voice and I was apparently yelling and I told him that I hadn't and thanked him for reminding me. He told me not to be so loud, I'd wake up my mom, so I started whispering. He left and somehow never knew.
I talked myself down and the I started to come down. I flipped on the TV and watched some rap videos on MTV. I felt an extreme sense of peace and respect. I remember thinking "Hey, you know what? Black people are cool. They might have a different culture that doesn't make sense to me, but they're human just like me, and I'm cool with that." I eventually flipped to CSPAN and watched people's faces morph and whatnot. Lastly, I watched the flintstones-- anyone ever notice how trippy the backgrounds are in that cartoon? I eventually got to sleep and had a HELL of a story to tell my coworkers about the next day. ------------------------------------------------------------
I'd call my first trip a level 5, yours sounds pretty damn close.
I posted my story to let you know that someone else has had a similar experience. I think your buddy coming over was the BEST thing for you. Without that you would have had several hours of pure hell to endure like I did. One area where he did go wrong was talking about your ex. Anyone who has tripped/is a good trip sitter knows that bringing up someone you have strong feelings for(negative/hurt/miss type feelings) is a bad idea. If I were him I would have shifted the conversation in another direction.
After hearing my story, I bet you think I'd never trip again, right? Wrong.
It took me a long time to trip again after that, probably a year or so. All subsequent trips were awesome. My next trip was a lower dose, about half of what I took my first time. I also tripped with friends. That trip was awesome.
Don't let a rough/bad trip ruin it for you. It's all about set/setting and the friends you are with. I was in my parents house, by myself, ate way too much, and had no idea what to expect... talk about a horrible situation for a trip.
I will only trip with a select number of people. Those people being my best guy friends, and I used to trip with my girlfriend(now broken up). I'll never trip with the ex, that's a recipe for disaster.
I hope you do trip again, but next time go for a lower dose and don't do it alone. If I were you, I'd dose with a friend who has tripped several times on mushrooms.
I'm always the "go to guy" when my friends, or friends' friends want to trip for the first time. I guess because they know I've tripped enough to know how to cope with things and talk someone down.
When it comes to tripping, experience is key. You have to build experience slowly.
Man, thinking back on my first trip makes me want to trip again. It's been probably a year since my last trip, I just kind of lost interest, but damn. I'm interested again. Thanks for reminding me what it's like, PT.
As far as the girl goes: sounds like she's not worth the time/effort. Just let the issue die. No use on getting back into the emotions involved during that time. Don't call her. The thoughts will eventually go away. Give it a few weeks. Stay busy.
BTW: if this post sounds like a product of stimulants, it is. I took my adderal because I'm supposed to be working on chemistry :P I'll go do that now.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: So....Uh...Yeah, I'm grateful to be alive. [Re: Gumby]
#5813400 - 07/02/06 07:53 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
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Good to hear man. This wasnt my first trip. Probably around my 40th, I've just never experienced anything like that ever. I won't be tripping for awhile and if I do, it will be with friends and outdoors preferably.
In defense of my buddy, he's kinda straight edge, never tripped before, and was just trying to bring me down like I asked him to. He actually started talking about work and somehow she came up.
What is hardest to describe, for me at least, is the feelings I get when I'm tripping that hard. I see things and feel things that just seem to me, so fucking real, more real than this reality and that's what scares me. Cuz this life seems pretty real and if there's something out there that's more real....
Death is going to be the most beautiful thing one can experience. I think thats why bad trips happen. They are so scary yet you know (maybe not at that exact instant whilst trippin ) that you're gonna live through it and that's why you fight it. Where as with death, you'll probably know its the last few seconds and you'll be at peace.
And like I said in my previous posts, I'm just glad I had the balls to go through with confronting her about what I needed. It felt really good to see and hear her again and to leave the door of friendship open where as yesterday I didn't care if I ever saw her again.
Shrooms really are magic and they make things happen within you so you have the courage to do stuff you never thought you would.
Thanks again everybody for you posts.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Skunk420


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
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That sounds insane! I never been that gone on shrooms, I have been very gone on LSD many times. I was on 3.5 grams of shrooms last night myself, but it was cool to watch the show XXX on them, after I was peaking good I watched the clouds for a while and the stars at 3:30 am. I felt that life in itself was a nice thing, even known there is bad things that happen in it. I realized that no one is perfect and we all have faults. But I have yet to trip that hard on shrooms, I bet it is scary but it is amazing how a fungus can make you get into that state of mind to begin with. Even if I had a scary trip on shrooms, I still would use them off and on in lower doses. Shrooms are great!
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