|
rawtoxic
Stranger
Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 2,097
Loc: smokey mountains
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
|
To stay friends with your EX or NOT.
#5811384 - 07/02/06 01:00 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Ok so since this is on my mind,
I broke up with my girl over some pretty superficial shit she is being a bitch about (like not loaning me a MJ pipe to take to a concert for instance.) Her nagging and bitching drove me to the end of my fuse and I blew. Well I really blew. I told her off well excellently and continued to break it off with her today.
I told her nicely about it being over I just don't want to put up with shit I have life etc. But I had VERY VERY strong feelings for this girl, the most intense feelings I've had for ANYONE. But I really can't put up with all her SHIT it is knocking my life out of balance.
So I told her just delete my #, throw away my shit, forget about me, I have already done this to all her shit. She is water beneath the bridge for all I care. Since I have such STRONG feelings I find just suppressing them is better.
I want some other peoples opinions some chicks opinions too.
I think it goes, girls want to stay friends guys want to say fuck you and never talk again (what good is a girlfriend you can't fuck, well unless you don't want to)
|
Roadkill
Retired Shroomery Mod


Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,674
Loc: Montana
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811415 - 07/02/06 01:18 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
first off...
how old are you?
-------------------- Laterz, Road Who the hell you callin crazy? You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch! Brainiac said: PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.
|
rawtoxic
Stranger
Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 2,097
Loc: smokey mountains
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Roadkill]
#5811416 - 07/02/06 01:19 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
25.
My last relationship lasted 6 months, this one has been 4 months.
Longest relationship about 26 months.
|
Roadkill
Retired Shroomery Mod


Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,674
Loc: Montana
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811452 - 07/02/06 01:42 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I had one serious relationship that had lasted 2 years... from the time I was 19 to 21. It hurt like hell when we split up...and no one could measure up to her for many years!~ I probably should have married her...to be honest. She is my one regret in life!~
I played the field for many years after that relationship ended...many years!~
I'm 46 years old now and have had many relationships over the years.
I have found that its usually easier to just break up and not be friends... unless it comes easy for you and her. And it depends on what happened to cause the break up!~ I have 2 gals that I am still friends with from past relationships.
1 was after some time...like after many years went by. and we have alot of mutual friends.
The other one...we just knew we were more like brother and sister...than anything else. We still talk on a regular basis. She is a wonderful person...she just wasn't the right gal for me.
I find it easier to be just friends with women that I have never been involved with!~
I have several life long friends that are women that I grew up with... I have never tried to sleep with them. It's always nice to have a womans perspective on things... and I can go to them and ask what they think about a given situation.
tc
-------------------- Laterz, Road Who the hell you callin crazy? You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch! Brainiac said: PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.
|
Le_Canard
The Duk Abides

Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811552 - 07/02/06 02:43 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I still exchange Xmas cards with the woman I almost married. But beyond that, nothing else. Of course, she turned out to be a looney tune, so that ended that right quick. Ah well, 5 years down the drain - we live and learn I guess.
|
Colonel Kurtz Ph.D
What What?

Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 11,113
Loc: Shadow Moses
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Roadkill]
#5811822 - 07/02/06 07:29 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Roadkill said: I had one serious relationship that had lasted 2 years... from the time I was 19 to 21. It hurt like hell when we split up...and no one could measure up to her for many years!~ I probably should have married her...to be honest. She is my one regret in life!~
tc
You nailed my story man, you nailed it
--------------------
There's no better way to rock out than with your cock out!!
|
rawtoxic
Stranger
Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 2,097
Loc: smokey mountains
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
|
|
well here is the email I sent her last night:
i was going to let this rest not talk to you, your business card has been destroyed, all pictures deleted, phone # lost, then you called, why? to rub it in? to give me some advice i don't care to hear? why would I even listen to someone who won't give me a chance with them?
i hate to be hurtful, mean or whatever you see it as. but it is MY decision to be spiteful, I know you have a right to speak for yourself well so do I.
i mean i see you as a snobby little bitch that wouldn't let me borrow her little piece of shit glass pipe but she goes around saying "sharing is caring" rest the time. i hope you REALLY like that pipe.
and your realness shit, you may think your super real, you little hippy wannabe. did you read some book to teach you to be REAL or just an EX-BOYFRIEND that left you for not being REAL enough? your realness of telling me what's on your mind everything a little thing went wrong DROVE ME INSANE. maybe try keeping your mouth shut and letting the little things slide to make life a little more enjoyable.
fuck you and don't talk to me. it's water underneath the fucking bridge. gone. go back to jersey.
why am I being a dick? maybe it's my true character, maybe it's what ABBY ****** brings out in me.
you were a waste of love, money and time in my book.
sorry it turned out this way go fuck yourself ---------------------------------------------------- seems a bit harsh looking at it this morning but it felt right at the time.
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811841 - 07/02/06 07:59 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
petty but I understand your pain...my guess is your anger is fueled by pain...trust me man I know how it feels...my ex was so mean to me at the end our relationship she had me sobbin for days(right at christmas too) we weren't actually broken up at this point...but I was so hurt and got so upset for the way she was treating me that I refused to talk to her for months...eventually I did tho and now we're friends...she just had a baby actually and I'm really happy for her
it hurts now but the pain will fade in time...you'll find someone real(I can't stand fake ppl either so I know where your comin from)
|
rawtoxic
Stranger
Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 2,097
Loc: smokey mountains
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5811849 - 07/02/06 08:21 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Actually her realness was so real that she had to let me know about every little thing that bothered her about me so she didn't keep those feelings bottled up inside she needed to let me know everything, while it sounds great for big things and helped with many of our problems. Hearing about little irrelevant shit on a constant basis DROVE ME INSANE.
Like the fact when I drive I go exactly the speed limit not 5MPH over like everyone else.
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811870 - 07/02/06 08:40 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
lol that does sound quite annoying...probably better off dude
|
Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811881 - 07/02/06 09:04 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I can sympathize with this entire thread. Especially Roadkill's post and Deepman's reply to it. I too have that one girl that I regret even meeting, she's a worthless excuse for a soul, who is so lost in this world that she treats everyone like shit but most sad of all, she treats herself even worse. Even though I have a hatred for her that I've never had before for anyone, I so sad for her, she is seriously one of the most beautiful woman I've ever met, but not in the important areas.
Everything is an experience and the only reason for living is for these types of moments where you can look back, remember, learn and share life stories. That's what this life is about, sharing stories.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5811896 - 07/02/06 09:11 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I care so much more about whats on the inside then outside(I truely do) I mean I love a beautiful girl as much as the next guy but no matter how beautiful a girl is if her attitude sucks shes no longer attractive to me
|
Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5811906 - 07/02/06 09:15 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I hear ya man. Completely agree. What pisses me off most is how a person will hide it and after time invested, their true personality comes through and you're left with bullshit and time wasted.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5811908 - 07/02/06 09:16 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
and I agree with roadkill...its nice to have girl-friends...I know a girl whos engaged and we are very close...I can talk to her about anything...theres literally nothing thats off limits with us and some of my most meaningful convos have been with her...and when I've been down because of other girls shes always been there for me to tell me I'm too good for them(even if it probably isn't true )
plus I'm a very emotional guy and its a lot easier to just be myself with girls...with guys it can be awkard to talk about feelings etc
|
Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811923 - 07/02/06 09:24 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I think that it is only possible to be friends after a breakup if you were friends before the breakup. It does not sound to me like you were actually friends with your ex. It is probably best to move on & process the lessons that are available to you through this experience.
|
TheWay
just some dude


Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 163
Loc: free
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5811976 - 07/02/06 09:52 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I'd like to throw 2 cents in on this since I've always sucked at picking girlfriends. I have been through alot of breakups and disfunctional relationships with most of the women in my life. If you're asking whether to remain friends, or never speak to them again, I'd say this; You two don't have to be buddies or ever hang out, but it never hurts to end a relationship on friendly terms and keep lines of communication open, even if you are royally pissed at her and have alot of stuff you want to tell her off about. There are two main reasons that I think this; 1) If you hurt a woman's feelings, she'll probably try to get back at you, whether that's just bashing you behind your back to other girls , tearing up your vehichle or Fatal-Attraction-style antics, and who needs more enemies in this world? 2) booty calls, you may be pissed at her now, but sooner or later you are going to be horny as hell yet not having the time and energy to woo some other chick which may not pay off, or worse go out to a bar, get beer goggles and wake up next to one that makes you want to cry in the shower, "I CAN'T GET CLEAN! I CAN'T GET CLEAN! " I've broken up with and been dumped by girls and handled it both ways, but now Ive found out it's easier to just wish them good luck, and tell them you are glad you had that time together, exc...exc...even if you don't mean it right then. I don't consider this lying because I'm going with the "all's fair in love and war" ideology on this one. I hope this helps. And I appologize in advance to any women that might read this and find it offensive, it's not meant that way.
--------------------
|
Shroomism
Space Travellin


Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
Loc: 9th Dimension
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5811981 - 07/02/06 09:56 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
My last relationship was 5 years and I think I'm still recovering from it.. In regards to being friends with ex-girlfriends, what Veritas said is right.. this only works if you were friends before the break up. Otherwise, it's pointless. Doesn't sound like you guys were the best of friends, or really related to each other on the same level. Just live and learn.. and move on. That goodbye letter is kind of harsh though. Might want to consider something a little nicer. A pipe and some nagging is nothing to get all bent out of shape about.
--------------------
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Shroomism]
#5811996 - 07/02/06 10:03 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
ya u may want to apologize and tell her that u were just hurt(or upset) and didn't mean it(cause this is probably true to some extent)
|
Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Shroomism]
#5811999 - 07/02/06 10:03 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Shroomism said: My last relationship was 5 years and I think I'm still recovering from it.. In regards to being friends with ex-girlfriends, what Veritas said is right.. this only works if you were friends before the break up. Otherwise, it's pointless. Doesn't sound like you guys were the best of friends, or really related to each other on the same level. Just live and learn.. and move on. That goodbye letter is kind of harsh though. Might want to consider something a little nicer. A pipe and some nagging is nothing to get all bent out of shape about.
she was just being herself through the whole relationship and all you could do is berate her about it.
she was trying to give you what she thought was an amazingly open an honest experience and you weren't ready for it perhaps.
I know apologies are hard to come by after such "closure" has been giving, but you should consider one anyways.
she was only doing what she thought was right every step of the way. so shes selfish sometimes? better then all of the time. so she spoke her mind? better then lies.
brother, perhaps you do need to just be friends with her and find out what makes her tick beyond her sexuality. thats the only way to have a loving relationship anyways.
its not about protection and dominance for males... thats just what we tend to think its about.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Todcasil]
#5812035 - 07/02/06 10:22 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
good points dude
|
Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5812045 - 07/02/06 10:24 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Todcasil]
#5812065 - 07/02/06 10:37 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
lol is that some dude from megaman?
|
Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5812069 - 07/02/06 10:39 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
no way its my greamlin! Todcasil
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Todcasil]
#5812108 - 07/02/06 10:58 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
hes my hero!
|
rawtoxic
Stranger
Registered: 10/06/02
Posts: 2,097
Loc: smokey mountains
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Iamthewalrus]
#5813095 - 07/02/06 05:46 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
thanks for the advice everyone.
i am still working through the motions today but I did leave her a message that I want to be at peace with her and we both leave with only good memories.
just call it 'yeah we'll still be friends' even though it is total bullshit is just a nice way of handling things but this time I thought I'd try a different approach and really what I learned it: 1) it's over 2) nothing I say changes anything 3) being spiteful will have no positive impact on either party 4) so be nice end things peacefully and you may cross paths again.
|
demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5813160 - 07/02/06 06:24 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I don't know your whole situation, nor do I care to. But I've been through personal hell and back with a girl. I've known her for 4 years. We have been together twice. She basically left me for no reason, then the second time fucked me over pretty bad; fucked me up for a while. I hadn't seen her in 2+ years. We hung out last night and into this morning at a small show and it all seems so stupid as to why we weren't talking. We're both working from the point of putting our past behind us. Turns out she wants to hang out more often, which I would like to, but time is not on either one of our sides and there is a small drive (30 miles from one city to the other) between us.
I don't really know what the point is, but time has changed a lot of shit in both of our lives. I never saw this coming, but I have my old friend back. Don't do/say something that can make things difficult in time if time works out your differences.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
|
Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Veritas]
#5813176 - 07/02/06 06:36 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Veritas said: I think that it is only possible to be friends after a breakup if you were friends before the breakup. It does not sound to me like you were actually friends with your ex. It is probably best to move on & process the lessons that are available to you through this experience.
You speak the truth. The only ex's that I'm friends with now are the ones that I was friends with before.
I was in a relationship for 3 years with my last ex. The break up went well, nothing bad happened. Then she really pissed me off after the break up when we were still in the "fragile" stage. I told her off hardcore. I after that I didn't speak to her for about 2 months. I just talked to her on the phone last week and it was like nothing had changed. The relationship part of it wasn't there anymore. It was like we had never been in a relationship, but I know we both still have some kind of feelings. I guess it's love, I don't know though.
The ex before this girl, I just jumpped right into a relationship with her. I was actually a rebound guy... sucked for me. Relationship ended pretty nasty. I don't really talk to her at all anymore. Nothing more than the causal small talk, and that's maybe once every six months.
It's definitely possible to be friends with your ex if you were friends prior to the relationship. Although after that email you sent her, I'd be surprised if she's still interested in being friends. Either way, you guys need some time apart. Not just a few weeks. Maybe a few months, that's what worked best for me. Gave us both time to get our lives back in order.
|
splifner180
Student


Registered: 03/24/06
Posts: 1,288
Loc: USA, East Coast
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Gumby]
#5813222 - 07/02/06 06:50 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I'm friends with every ex I've ever had but 2. But whether or not that's your style is entirely up to you. Nobody can tell you that.
splif
-------------------- First Grow: Ecuador -> LC -> HPoo/Straw -> Monotub Build a Do-It-Yourself Magnetic Stirrer in thirty minutes with no money.
|
Rhysaboveit
Day Tripper


Registered: 05/26/06
Posts: 218
Loc: Miami Fl
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Gumby]
#5813282 - 07/02/06 07:11 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
I couldnt have said that last paragraph any better.
I've been in a similar situation, 2 years of my life to a man i was so deeply in love with but there were things that he did that i just couldnt get past. I realize now he did what he thought was right, and tried to protect me from what he saw as things that could hurt me, not really considering the fact that he was basically smothering me with his controllive nature. The break up shook both of us up pretty bad. He never thought i would actually leave him, and i never thought i would actually do it. But it happened. Enough was enough. Sometimes love doesnt conquer all.
We still talk, but we were amazing friends before our relationship. It's hard. We're still fresh from breaking each others heart but we know the friendship is worth it. He was the only person i shared my deepest darkest s ecret too and I was the only one in turn he trusted enough to tell his. But despite our bond, we needed some time apart, to heal. It took us a month to be able to really speak to each other again. And even still.
Dont throw up impenetrable walls , you never know if later you may have need to bring them down.
-------------------- No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough "There's a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake, coming straight at us." "Shoot it." "Not yet, I want to study its habits. "
|
Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Rhysaboveit]
#5813296 - 07/02/06 07:16 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Good post.
I just did the same thing. Talked to this girl I liked a lot for the first time in 6 months. I miss her still and miss the time we spent together when there was the magic of knowing that you were gonna see eachother at the end of the night and just chill with eachother and relax.
Some of the best times where when we would get really high and give each other massages while listening to some sexy electronic music. Man....I need to stop talking about her....
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
|
some1whoisntme
Stranger

Registered: 09/21/05
Posts: 882
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: Rhysaboveit]
#5813353 - 07/02/06 07:27 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Rhysaboveit said:
Dont throw up impenetrable walls , you never know if later you may have need to bring them down.
Very true. In fact, my best friend is actually a girl I went out with for a while. I think the romantic spark just went away and we realized we were better off as friends than lovers. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Just depends on the people, I guess.
-------------------- "Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"
|
Skunk420


Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 18,524
Loc: inside
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5813451 - 07/02/06 08:14 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
No, I am not friends with her, why would I do that?...I havent seen or talked to her in years.
|
Corporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5813463 - 07/02/06 08:19 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
DUDE!! Your bitching over a fucking glass pipe. Its her property! Respect her decision not to let you take it to a show where it could possibly be confiscated. Roll a joint.....
I still talk with most of the girls i have dated. I go by the rules of love and respect. For them and myself.
|
Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5813645 - 07/02/06 09:02 PM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
|
Iamthewalrus
every evening Idied and everynight I wasreborn


Registered: 03/24/04
Posts: 3,744
Loc: Ontario
Last seen: 15 years, 3 months
|
|
Quote:
Penguarky Tunguin said: Good post.
I just did the same thing. Talked to this girl I liked a lot for the first time in 6 months. I miss her still and miss the time we spent together when there was the magic of knowing that you were gonna see eachother at the end of the night and just chill with eachother and relax.
Some of the best times where when we would get really high and give each other massages while listening to some sexy electronic music. Man....I need to stop talking about her....
dude...your a lil all over the place with this eh? one minute u say she was like great and shit...the other shes completely fucked and u don't wanna get back involved...make up your mind my friend! seriously tho I know how tough it is and I have been in that exact position...one minute u see things as smiles and sunshine the next u see all the shit...I guess it comes down too...is she worth the shit and can u handle it
|
xDuckYouSuckerx
xBannedx


Registered: 05/25/06
Posts: 1,410
Last seen: 17 years, 5 months
|
Re: To stay friends with your EX or NOT. [Re: rawtoxic]
#5815138 - 07/03/06 08:55 AM (17 years, 6 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
rawtoxic said: i was going to let this rest not talk to you, your business card has been destroyed, all pictures deleted, phone # lost,
Not really the way to start off a communication, honestly. I have lots of female friends and all of them seem to have boyfriends who send breakup letters like that. The psyche of "I'll never see you again!" is pretty lame when used as a threat, really. Also, "your business card has been destroyed" is just super gay. It would be one thing to take all of her shit and throw it away and never contact her,. It's kinda like the situation in Dr Strangelove, sorta, if you contact her to tell her you tossed all of her shit away, then you are obviously still concerned enough with her to try to take a dig on her. If you just destroy her shit and don't contact her, well, she doesn't know. The absolute best thing is to talk to her on the phone or in person, tell her how you feel without being overly emotional about it, then tell them you prefer not to speak with them again and that you won't call them and ask them to extend you the same courtesy. The only thing about this, you've got to really mean it. My friend Angela's ex said that to her at my house actually when I was upstairs, then he called her about 1 hour later to rant and bitch some more. It really loses effect when it's the fourth time you've told them that you'll never speak with them again. But still, thats a horrible way to open an e-mail unless you are a 15 year old emo myspace whore.
Quote:
then you called, why? to rub it in? to give me some advice i don't care to hear? why would I even listen to someone who won't give me a chance with them?
Oh man, thats even worse. It's just pathetic begging now, honestly. If you REALLY DONT want to talk to her ever again, tell her that. My exg/f of four years cheated on me, I found out about it on a Friday night, confirmed it that Saturday, dropped her shit off at her house Sunday, a box with all the letters and shit shed written to me, pictures, all that stuff, grabbed my stuff and I haven't spoken with her since, thats been a year and a half ago. For the first bit, she called me about 3xa week, but she got the point when I never answered. You can't EVER pull the "I don't ever want to talk to you" bullshit if you then follow it up with some line baiting her into defending herself and trying to save the relationship.
Quote:
i mean i see you as a snobby little bitch that wouldn't let me borrow her little piece of shit glass pipe but she goes around saying "sharing is caring" rest the time. i hope you REALLY like that pipe.
It also seems like a pretty petty incident, by itself. I'm sure that lots of other things happened as well and this was probably just the straw that broke the camels back. But I'd try to be general about things, rather than specific issues (unless she fucked another guy, in which case, be quite specific as to your reason).
Quote:
and your realness shit, you may think your super real, you little hippy wannabe. did you read some book to teach you to be REAL or just an EX-BOYFRIEND that left you for not being REAL enough? your realness of telling me what's on your mind everything a little thing went wrong DROVE ME INSANE. maybe try keeping your mouth shut and letting the little things slide to make life a little more enjoyable.
OK, reasonably good paragraph, you told her what you thought, didn't get tied up in specifics and gave her some advice.
Quote:
fuck you and don't talk to me. it's water underneath the fucking bridge. gone. go back to jersey.
You can't really make accusations, dangle "you never cared about me" in front of her and then tell her you don't wanna talk. If you really mean that, don't talk to her again, EVER. Don't answer her email don't send her letters don't call her and don't answer her calls. Most likely you won't do that because you seem to still care for her.
Quote:
sorry it turned out this way go fuck yourself
Yea, not the best way to end it. I worked through this dilemna when I found out that the whore was cheating on me. I figured that a well written letter with my concerns, the fact that I Was breaking up with her and the fact that I never wanted to speak with or see her again would be the way to go. I didn't use profanity, other than to describe an act i.e. "you fucked another guy", and I didn't dangle shit in front of her that she'd want to rebute and call me. I told her she was a worthless person and that she was no longer in my life. The thing is, you have to mean it. If you go on a four day cry binge and callher 20x a day telling her you'll never speak with her again, then you accept her back, you'll be a gigantic pussy for it.
-------------------- Unions are the bastions of the mediocre. - luvdemshrooms
|
|