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Invisibletak
geo's henchman
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Registered: 11/20/00
Posts: 3,776
Loc: nowhereland
I hate things
    #5809117 - 07/01/06 07:41 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

I used to spend alot of time in this forum. Spirituality and philosophy interests me to no end. It just seems like I dont have time anymore, and I am more focused on my car, etc.

My work load has increased at work, and stress is at an all time high with money being realy tight.

I just see myself forming distasteful opinions about other people, being a real dick to everyone, and having a bad attitude. That is very not like me, I am used to treating everyone fair and equally, even if they have their flaws, because i believe that everyone is diffrent for a reason.

I dont know what to do, because I know that the path I am on is wrong. This may be a step in the right direction I guess...facing the problem head on.

I have also had a really bad diet, and I am slowly trying to fix it by eating more superfoods, and less junk.

Working so much, it is hard to find spare time at all, I usually spent it tired on my computer for a couple hours before sleep, reading on my car forums, and checking the shroomery.

I would love to get some excersize, and stroll through nature...but I work outside all day, and I am tired.

The two things I really blame are work, and my girlfriend. Both of them are great for me, I love what I do, and I love my girlfriend, but both of them seem to have an anti-spirituality field around them, and since I do not wish to get rid of either one, it is my duty to learn to work in sync with them.

Does anyone else fall off the spiritual train every once in a while, I always have my off's and on's, but it seems like a lot more off these days than on.


--------------------
The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
Re: I hate things [Re: tak]
    #5809248 - 07/01/06 09:53 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Everything you have mentioned is related to First Chakra energy.  It has been difficult for me to incorporate these tasks into my view of what is spiritual, and what is not.  For many years I resisted and ignored the "mundane" aspects of my life, and wished that they would stop being so much trouble.

Two years ago I began having excruciating experiences with IBS, and felt very victimized by this health problem.  "Why Me? I eat a good diet, I'm young and healthy, I have a tough life already.  It's not fair."  I went round and round with these thoughts, and continued to suffer.

When I decided to re-read Stephen Levine's "A Year to Live," I found his meditation on illness.  He recommends using illness as a rehearsal for death.  I began to deliberately relax and accept the symptoms of my health problem, and to use the time I spend incapacitated to consider what I was not paying attention to in my life.

Like a 5000 watt light bulb turning on, I realized that the aspects I was ignoring now had to SHOUT to get my attention.  If I listened, they could turn down the volume.

Nothing that you have been working on in your material life is "un-spiritual," as you are manifesting the messages of your spirit.  Perhaps the foundational energies of your First Chakra are out of balance & require your attention and respect at this time.

:shrug:  It's worth a try, anyway.


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InvisiblethatiAM
Stranger

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 1,250
Re: I hate things [Re: tak]
    #5809249 - 07/01/06 09:54 AM (17 years, 6 months ago)

Start doing daily meditation.  If you have time to spend reading online every night you have time to meditate.  Exercise is nice too.  To make change you have to take some action.  If you are too tired, do something anyway.  Go for a short walk.  It will take some time to get adjusted to new habits.

If you like your job and girlfriend but spirituality is still the most important thing to you, you have to find ways to make working and being with your gf spiritual.  It sounds like they are ripe for practice if they are stressing you so much.  Remember that it's not hard to accept your job and everything with peace, it's hard not to.  It's hard not to because every second you think about how tired you are, how much you wish you were somewhere else, what needs to be different, etc, then that's one second you spend expiring your mental stamina.  It is probably part of what is making you so tired.  It takes lots and lots and lots of energy to sustain train of thought justifying yourself and your rightness (as in "this job takes too much of my time"). 

I'm not saying that you should stick with any circumstance no matter how crappy it is.  If you would be happier with a new job or new whatever then by all means trade up.  Just use these opportunities (and every moment in your life) as much as you can to practice spirituality.  If spirituality is the most important thing for you then there is no excuse to not practice.

Wait until a better job to start meditating?  There is no later, if it is important to you, you won't put it off, especially if you have time to read online all night.  All you have to do is take the first step, so take it. 

Hope this helps :smile:


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: I hate things [Re: tak]
    #5809656 - 07/01/06 12:45 PM (17 years, 6 months ago)

The two things I really blame are work, and my girlfriend.

These two things are your best teachers.

Everyone falls off the train. It's actually an important part of the process. You need to go back and learn more about something.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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