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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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until death do us part? (poll)
#5783910 - 06/23/06 01:50 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I just saw a TV docu an aspect of which I decided to want to poll you on.
The situation is this:
A girl has had HIV for years. Through Combination Therapy she's symptom-free, but still can transmit the AIDS virus.
She decided to not just not tell her boyfriend but to actually, without any discussion, have sex with him, time after time after time, using a condom to protect him from catching her AIDS.
After two years of sexual relations, the condom tore, so she felt she "now had to tell him". It turned out he did not contract the AIDS virus, but she ended up pregnant instead. Through divine and pharmaceutical intervention the baby managed to be born without infection (which would've been a 25% risk to transmit it to her baby)
We leave that specific situation be, but my question is this:
Suppose you had years of relationship with somebody, and have much sex as lovers tend to do, and then, after years of having been told to use a condom, being told that this is because she has had AIDS for years before you two even met. She got the AIDS from a blood transfusion, not by sexual transmission. What would you do?
Please be respectful towards the scourge that is AIDS and the people who suffer from it. Be judgemental only about this particular situation.
.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
Edited by Asante (06/23/06 01:55 PM)
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lsdandfrisbee
Stranger


Registered: 11/09/05
Posts: 1,177
Loc: da projects
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5783929 - 06/23/06 01:56 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Damn, I really don't have a clue how I would react to that.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,795
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: lsdandfrisbee]
#5783953 - 06/23/06 02:04 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I chose "get very upset and end the relationship".
If someone for the joy of sex is willing to knowingly endanger YOUR life then that person is in lust, not love with you and in my opinion there never was a honest relationship to speak of.
This "secret" isn't a one night stand, but endangering your life, every time, for most days of the week.
If I had known before then no, I would not have sex, but if the love was real I'd ride this one out. But not after this lowest form of betrayal, which to me makes all previous love a big lie.
I never talk with my TV set, but this time I said "you bitch!" aloud. She couldve given her boyfriend AIDS as well as the baby
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Rambel
Stranger

Registered: 07/09/05
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: lsdandfrisbee]
#5783954 - 06/23/06 02:05 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah I think that may be one of those situations that you never can tell how you would feel unless it was happening to you. I can only imagine it would be a wave of confusion, and an array of emotions all hitting you at once.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d

Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Rambel]
#5784088 - 06/23/06 02:54 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Damn tough question.
The woman would have to be extrememly special on all counts for me to not kill her after finding out.
I would, however, find it incredibly weird to be with that person and have to use a condom EVERYTIME. I would be questioning that almost immediately.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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Silversoul
Rhizome


Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 23,576
Loc: The Barricades
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5784102 - 06/23/06 02:59 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I could never turn my back on true love, ever.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5784230 - 06/23/06 03:47 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I said I wouldn't know how to react to that situation, for a couple reasons:
(a) I can't see myself spending 2 years with someone who is so secretive as to keep a secret like HIV infection from me
(b) Love is a powerful thing...and if I ever found myself in the situation where a girl I did Love (capital L) told me something like that, I think I'd be at least as likely to stick with her as break it off.
--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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razorbladeshoes
Friend

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 87
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Silversoul]
#5784233 - 06/23/06 03:48 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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The problem is that she kept a huge secret. You can't build a healthy relationship with secrets. If I was told "hey, I've kept this secret from you all these years", it'd be hard to trust her again. I mean, what else is she keeping from you? I'd be really disappointed that the person I THOUGHT she was... isn't quite who she really is.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie


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Posts: 11,505
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Last seen: 6 months, 23 days
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: lsdandfrisbee]
#5784241 - 06/23/06 03:50 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
lsdandfrisbee said: Damn, I really don't have a clue how I would react to that.
--------------------
The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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hawksapprentice
Yearns to Snowboard


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 3,195
Loc: Oregon
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Silversoul]
#5784253 - 06/23/06 03:55 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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If it were true love whe would not have kept something like that from you. She obviously had no respect for the other person.
-------------------- "I celebrate the Earth, my home, my mother, my grave, and as long as men are Man they must, if they would preserve the integrated being, do the same---[and preserve]--this rank casual hungry smelly sweaty lusting transitory body, my oozy pulpy liquid-bag-swollen body, bones, blood, hair glands, my bejeweled sex; I love and celebrate it all. never to let men forget that they are animals as much as gods---that is one thing I shall say." Edward Abbey
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Mike_yy


Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 7,253
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If you was together for years, and she 'forgot' to mention it your going to be pretty pissed off.
She's putting your life at risk for her own selfish reasons.
In most cases i think you would get the fuck out of there. If you loved her more than anything it would take some major understanding of why she never said anything to carry the relationship.
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Afroshroomerican
Oprah's Minion


Registered: 05/12/06
Posts: 891
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5784557 - 06/23/06 06:12 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Wiccan_Seeker said: I chose "get very upset and end the relationship".
If someone for the joy of sex is willing to knowingly endanger YOUR life then that person is in lust, not love with you and in my opinion there never was a honest relationship to speak of.
This "secret" isn't a one night stand, but endangering your life, every time, for most days of the week.
If I had known before then no, I would not have sex, but if the love was real I'd ride this one out. But not after this lowest form of betrayal, which to me makes all previous love a big lie.
I never talk with my TV set, but this time I said "you bitch!" aloud. She could've given her boyfriend AIDS as well as the baby
From the way you synopsized the story and the similar way you just posted, I am guessing you view this as more of a sexual deception, and I think it was a lot more.
For starters, this was a relationship, it was not just sex. Sex is part of every relationship.
In her defense, she decided to use a condom every single time they had sex. This alone shows she had no desire to transmit the disease and in fact wanted to protect her boyfriend from the virus. In two years, most couples will stop using condoms (let's face it they aren't as pleasurable). She probably had to think of reasons to explain her reluctance.
Now I have mixed opinions on the "why didn't she tell him in the first place" side.
On one hand, AIDS is probably one of the worse diseases you can have. Spreading it knowingly is inhumane.
On the other hand, people with AIDS till this day are ostracized. Think about it. If someone tells you they have herpes, most of us (including myself) instantly think that they've slept with 2390840238 people, when in fact they could've just been that unlucky person to have sex with a person who had it.
Same with AIDS. Now in her case, it wasn't even her fault she contracted it. However, if she said she had AIDS, most of us would immediately jump to the "whore" conclusion. She probably fell in love with this man and thought that such a stigma would ruin her chance.
My 2 cents.
I put I'd be angry but still stay.
-------------------- "We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools." ~Martin Luther King Jr.~ <passitbobbie> if I just showed you a closeup of my ass <passitbobbie> youd think it was female "You owe errrbody up in here an apology fow youwe shit, HO!" - classic
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5784562 - 06/23/06 06:16 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I chose "Damn..."
But I would get upset. Very upset about being lied to about something so severe. Wether not It would end would depend on how she reacted to me.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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THE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5784629 - 06/23/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'd feel that she took my life/well being/destiny into her hands, playing god/master. In my eyes that's akin to slipping me bits of rat poison in my food for years. Where's the "beat the bitch beyond recognition before leaving her" choice? Would that go along with choice one?
Very good post by the way.
-------------------- m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.
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d33p
Welcome to Violence

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 5,381
Loc: the shores of Tripoli
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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You needed an option for "Shake the fuck out of her!"
But I'm a hopeless romantic so i voted "If I truly love her I'd do *anything* for her, no regrets or second thoughts" on the condition that i really, truly loved her.
-------------------- I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends. bang bang
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HeadTripVertigo
at least I'm housebroken



Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 10,788
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5785108 - 06/23/06 09:19 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Wiccan_Seeker said: Suppose you had years of relationship with somebody, and have much sex as lovers tend to do, and then, after years of having been told to use a condom, being told that this is because she has had AIDS for years before you two even met. She got the AIDS from a blood transfusion, not by sexual transmission. What would you do?
just a bit of education for you folks...my boss at my current job has AIDS...she's a big spokesperson and all about it... she's done hundreds of speeches and all that stuff, so I know a goo deal about it all....anyway.... here's the educational bit. most people who are infected only have HIV, which isn't AIDS. AIDS only comes to pass once your t-cell count gets below 200, and on the various cocktails, most people with HIV can maintain their t-cells at around 600-1000 or so. the normal t-cell count for everyone else is around 1800-2000, I believe. so...thats that.
-------------------- TACOS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER
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niteowl
GrandPaw


Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Quote:
Afroshroomerican said: From the way you synopsized the story and the similar way you just posted, I am guessing you view this as more of a sexual deception, and I think it was a lot more.
For starters, this was a relationship, it was not just sex. Sex is part of every relationship.
In her defense, she decided to use a condom every single time they had sex. This alone shows she had no desire to transmit the disease and in fact wanted to protect her boyfriend from the virus. In two years, most couples will stop using condoms (let's face it they aren't as pleasurable). She probably had to think of reasons to explain her reluctance.
Now I have mixed opinions on the "why didn't she tell him in the first place" side.
On one hand, AIDS is probably one of the worse diseases you can have. Spreading it knowingly is inhumane.
On the other hand, people with AIDS till this day are ostracized. Think about it. If someone tells you they have herpes, most of us (including myself) instantly think that they've slept with 2390840238 people, when in fact they could've just been that unlucky person to have sex with a person who had it.
Same with AIDS. Now in her case, it wasn't even her fault she contracted it. However, if she said she had AIDS, most of us would immediately jump to the "whore" conclusion. She probably fell in love with this man and thought that such a stigma would ruin her chance.
My 2 cents.
I put I'd be angry but still stay.
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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Roadkill
Retired Shroomery Mod


Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,674
Loc: Montana
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5786132 - 06/24/06 08:57 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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WS,
Good question and a nice debate!~
I have no idea how I would react to this.
I'd have to be in the situation...to give an honest answer.
She lied to him for years...what else did she lie about?
Betrayal is hard to get over.
Basically she was playing Russian Roulette with him every time they had sex...and he wasn't a willing participant.
What a selfish bitch!~
I would have known something was up... I don't play that condom thing too long. Wankie likes that wet pussy feel!~ I'm glad that I grew up in the free love days of the 60's, 70's and early 80's. Where you didn't have to worry about running into any deadly pussy.
These days you better wear that raincoat before the storm!~ and maybe double wrap it!~
tc
-------------------- Laterz, Road Who the hell you callin crazy? You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch! Brainiac said: PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.
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Stonerguy
I smoke penis


Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 5,538
Loc: Lost
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5786135 - 06/24/06 09:06 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Everyone can try to imagine what you would do. But I don't think you could put yourself in that place. I would hope if I loved her that I would forgive her but damn that would be an emotional time I just might say "fuck you" and leave.
-------------------- yawn... SG
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Jfisher
fungusaficionado


Registered: 05/24/05
Posts: 1,093
Loc: Sealand
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5786290 - 06/24/06 11:01 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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If my situation were the same as the first you posted, and there was a kid involved I would stay. I'd be furious for a good while, but I would stay if I really loved her.
If there were no kid, I would probably get out of there. No need for someone so close to me to continually lie about something so important.
-------------------- Any information written above is purely fictional. Any images do not belong to the owner of this account.
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Gumby
Fishnologist


Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5786342 - 06/24/06 11:21 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I went with get upset but not end it. I'd probably flip my shit big time, but in the end I'm a sucker for love
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Acinaxuz
In SomnisVeritas.

Registered: 06/20/06
Posts: 231
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Jfisher]
#5786368 - 06/24/06 11:28 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Man that's a rough one. I totally agree with most of ya'll on this one. It was a blatent lie, and with all of the education regarding AIDS--a condom isn't fool proof, and what about foreplay?
I would end the relationship as well. She knowingly put someone she loved and cared about at risk as well as puting her child at risk.
But then, it's also a cruel world. When WOULD it be ok for her to tell you? Would you look at her differently being that you don't fully know her? Would you pass her over because she came clean about having AIDS? And if telling you up front would scare you, when would be the right time? (Just as an example--Imagine your first night, going to her apartment, thinking you're about to get some ass--but she stops you and tells you she has aids--do you run screaming into the night, stay and continue to get to know her with an open mind, stay so that she doesn't feel badly but know you wouldn't want anything with her, or do you continue and trust in protection?)
I'm pretty sure these are all the most common worries when it comes to dating with AIDS--No casual sex, worried about what people think of you, deal with people's fear of the disease... Its really hard to find someone you really click with--Just imagine for a moment YOU had to find someone you clicked with as well as accepting AIDS as a part of their lives now. I'm sure this is (if even a small part) a reality for them, so in a sense I understand where the girl would have been coming from--but love should overpower that desire to hide it. You do everything you can to not hurt the people you care about, and that in the long run trumps any excuse or explanation.
**edit--typos irk me.**
-------------------- :~:~:~:~{ * }~:~:~:~:{ * }:~:~:~:~{ * }~:~:~:~: All posts are made with only the intent to entertain myself and should ONLY be read with the understanding that they are FICTICIOUS. I do not warrant information I provide for use in illegal activity of any kind nor do I condone it for any reason. Furthermore, I am not, I have never, nor will I in the future, take ANY part in illegal activites.
Edited by Acinaxuz (06/24/06 08:03 PM)
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Corporal Kielbasa

Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 17,235
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5786402 - 06/24/06 11:45 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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The likely hood of a guy catching aids or hiv though normal sex is very small. If he is doing her in the ass with a shaved ball sack area then his risk is higher.
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kake
The answer to1984 is 1776.



Registered: 05/06/99
Posts: 2,782
Loc: The 66th harmonic
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5787192 - 06/24/06 06:22 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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To me, that's as good as using someone. Lack of honesty, on top of endangering their lives, and then risking getting pregnant and leaving Dad to raise the kid on his own and explain to the kid why Mommy had to die.
This story disgusts me. What the fuck are people thinking?
-------------------- The answer to 1984 is 1776.
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Acinaxuz
In SomnisVeritas.

Registered: 06/20/06
Posts: 231
Last seen: 16 years, 2 months
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actually--they're not that small. (you can find this at u-n-t-i-l.org without the dashes.)
- An estimated one million people are currently living with HIV in the United States, with approximately 40,000 new infections occurring each year.
- 70 percent of these new infections occur in men and 30 percent occur in women.
- By race, 54 percent of the new infections in the United States occur among African Americans, and 64 percent of the new infections in women occur in African American women.
- 75 percent of the new infections in women are heterosexually transmitted.
- Half of all new infections in the United States occur in people 25 years of age or younger.
- There are 14,000 new infections every day (95 percent in developing countries). HIV/AIDS is a "disease of young people" with half of the 5 million new infections each year occurring among people ages 15 to 24.
- Over 22 million people have died from AIDS.
There is a reason that people are fighting so hard to prove that anyone could get it under various circumstances... Use some common sense for your own safety, just because you may test negative, does NOT mean that you are in the clear. Take herpes for example, even if you get a negative, you don't know for sure--look it up, hell this too... especially if you think you're even the slightest bit safer... it's just not true.
-------------------- :~:~:~:~{ * }~:~:~:~:{ * }:~:~:~:~{ * }~:~:~:~: All posts are made with only the intent to entertain myself and should ONLY be read with the understanding that they are FICTICIOUS. I do not warrant information I provide for use in illegal activity of any kind nor do I condone it for any reason. Furthermore, I am not, I have never, nor will I in the future, take ANY part in illegal activites.
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daimyo
Monticello

Registered: 05/13/04
Posts: 7,751
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: Asante]
#5787500 - 06/24/06 08:20 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Take it back to the old days and dust the skeezer across the mouth.
--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."
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PurpleKush
Rational Lunatic


Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 3,421
Loc: Above The Law
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: until death do us part? (poll) [Re: daimyo]
#5787516 - 06/24/06 08:29 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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if there was no kid involved, i'd be out that shit and never speak to her again.
with the kid, i would make some relationship work for their sake, but i'd be pissed. really upset. it would be very weird, and id end up cheating or just always having someone else to fuck. i dont know, its a crazy situation
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