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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Hey Everyone
#5778041 - 06/21/06 08:33 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Ha, back again....my computers fucked so I can't get online a lot.
Anyway, to those who care, I'm doing a lot better, I'll be clean soon...it's taking a ridiculously long time, but it's so hard. I'm almost off of it, but my dumb ass did again....the downside of payday i guess. It's really fucking hard to do; the hardest thing I've every had to do, but I know that I can beat it now.
Anyway, I'm definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm starting to get the old spark and humor back again, and I'm almost completely out of the raging, depressed, insanely reckless and careless strung-out stage I was in. Now that my head is clearing up I can actually just see how bad I was really was.
This shit turned me into a completely different person in a really bad way...my dark side came out, and looking back on it, I see how fucking scary it was.....and how lucky I am to be making it out OK,changed, but OK....and maybe for the better, who knows...I'm not that egocentric out of control asshole that smack turned me into anymore, thank God, so now the more positive changes are coming out & growing everyday. I'm glad healing is possible, and I'm staring to revert back to my spiritual ways. I'm looking forward to tripping and taking MDMA again....I haven't tripped in months, and it's been almost a year since my last roll. That's the way I'm going to do it, trip a few times a year 2-4 times say, and taking ecstasy once a year. smoke some herb every now and then, and have a couple beers from time to time...and that's it, nothing else. It's time to move on...past the time in fact.
Anyway, I'm putting my life back together, and trying to move onward into the future; I'm going to community college in the fall with undecided major. I want to work with psychedelics in the treatment of drug and alcohol addiction, so if anyone has advice, or knows what classes to take, I'd really appreciate it. I'm kinda nervous cause I haven't been in school in 3 years, but I'm also excited at the prospect of doing something new, and positive in my life.
Haven't gone to any shows yet this year, but I'm going to Jerry's B-day bash...any shroomerites going this year? Last year was the best time of my life, better than any speedball. I can't fucking wait, it's going to propel me back to loving the life without dope & coke. These events as well as tripping & rolling always helps me immensely, filling me up with that good old peace & love again (that's already coming back though). So anyway, long message I know, but it's been a while and I miss you guys & gals so much. How have all of you been lately? Go to any good shows? Peace love, DS
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Papaver
Madmin Emeritus?

Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: Dark_Star]
#5778053 - 06/21/06 08:37 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Glad to hear you're getting clean. You can do it. I did it! 
Yeah, it's nice to start getting your senses back and your natural sense of balance and happiness. It's always nice to be able to enjoy life again as you find it...
Welcome Back!
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THE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,409
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: Dark_Star]
#5778332 - 06/21/06 09:53 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm very happy to hear you're on the road to being clean and starting to feel good about life again. Was really worried about you for a while there bro. If there's anything I can do to help you along the way just let me know.
-------------------- m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.
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Stonerguy
I smoke penis


Registered: 05/29/04
Posts: 5,538
Loc: Lost
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: Dark_Star]
#5778432 - 06/21/06 10:22 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good shit man, I have never been through a real hard addiction but I have heard it is pretty much hell.
BTW it seems this summer is going to be even better than last summer for acid!! I have found 4 different prints and alot of liquid, Im like
-------------------- yawn... SG
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eris
underground


Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 4 months, 18 days
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: Dark_Star]
#5778456 - 06/21/06 10:27 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Good to hear from you. I understand what you are going through and have been through it myself - an addiction that lasted for years.. I won't get into specifics because you already know what it's like.
It really does take a long time to feel normal again. It did for me anyways.
I would suggest that you stay busy and try to pick up a hobby or two if you have too much free time.
Stay strong and confident.
-------------------- Immortal / Temporarily Retired The OG Thread Killer My mushroom hunting gallery
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Noviseer
Percussion isFree


Registered: 03/18/03
Posts: 3,994
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: Dark_Star]
#5778487 - 06/21/06 10:36 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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hey man its great to hear from you. Glad your life is looking up 
as for shows... I saw Phil Lesh for the first time this weekend at Bonnaroo and it was a fucking revelation Definitely a highlight of my life.
Good luck.
-------------------- _______________________________________________________________ namaste said: no flamz in da ODD, if you got nothing to contribute then keep yo lips zipped _________________________________________________________________
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coda
Banjo Goiter


Registered: 03/20/01
Posts: 8,750
Last seen: 10 months, 3 days
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: Noviseer]
#5778516 - 06/21/06 10:43 PM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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Glad to see you're doing well man, keep strong and you'll be through it in no time. Good luck with your plan, hopefully your next trips will show you what you need to see and understand.
-------------------- To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe. . . . -JG i really am glad you came back to us instead of taking the other path. *hug* -A_S (RIP your final words to me will never be forgotten)
 Don't fuck with the laughing jesus.
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: coda]
#5779317 - 06/22/06 02:22 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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dark star! you have no idea how happy that post made me on this hazy lazy acid comdowny night  im so glad your back i got more than my share of sunshine today  sending some your way !~ ~!
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evolprim
human


Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 1,226
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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howd ure acid trip go and are you excited for 10000 posts?
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notapillow
I want to be a fisherman


Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 31,129
Loc: A rare and different tune
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: evolprim]
#5779395 - 06/22/06 02:50 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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it was fun kinda light perfect for a day of skating in the hot hot sun  then i went to a hoohah bar with my girl freind kinda weird vibes but i had fun
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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First off, I'd like to thank all of you for your support and kindness, it means a lot...this is the shit that makes life worth living.
I'm glad to hear you guys are doing good...and that lucy is out in even more force this summer. Music to my ears.  Much love to all of ya'll.
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nunciate
Cold and Indifferent


Registered: 05/23/04
Posts: 904
Loc: Edge of the World
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: Hey Everyone [Re: Dark_Star]
#5779653 - 06/22/06 06:04 AM (17 years, 7 months ago) |
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I don't think you and I have ever conversed one-on-one, but I do hope you make it through this regardless. A few people I've knwon as well as myself have had problems with opiates over the years. It's a rough time getting off the junk, but well worth it. Best of luck to you, stranger. If you ever need anyone to talk to, we're here. PM me if you need someone to talk to directly. I can't promise I'll have any kind of answer, but I will have an open ear. <3
-------------------- I am the devil and I am just like you
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