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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
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My mistake
#5758314 - 06/16/06 06:29 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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There have been several assumptions about things I do in front of my kids and there have been a few accusations of what people may think I do. Like they know me.
The only things anybody here knows, is what I tell them or what I write on here or on my myspace blogs.
I don't smoke cigs. I get high once a year....maybe, and I don't EVER do it under the same roof as my kids. I drink socially, again...never in front of my kids. I don't bring men home and I don't bring very many strange people around. Only pretty close friends or co-workers. When I take my mushies or do any type of mind altering substance....I leave town but not without making sure my kids are well taken care of.
However, there is one thing I do that I know I shouldn't. I curse in front of them.
I have a foul mouth. It's not as bad as it used to be and I try and make sure that I refrain from it as often as I can...when I remember to. This is a very bad habit. I know this. My girls never picked up on it as far as saying bad words or using any type of foul language. My oldest is learning how to speak Armenian and my youngest speaks Armenian and is learning Spanish. So this is when they are listening to everything everyone says, all the time.
It didn't really hit me as to what kind of affect it may have on them until today.
See, we're staying in a shitty hotel. The water spells like it runs right through the damn sewer pipes. When we turn on the AC, it smells like burning ass hair.
It's horrible and it's made me quite moody, which in turn...causes me to use bad language.
I was out of the room for a few minutes visiting my brother in another room. I came back into my room and the smell of the AC hit my face hard.
I said, "Ugh, it smells like ass in here." My girls were in here. As soon as I said that...my oldest daughter says, "That's because Cheyanne won't stop talking." Cheyanne is my youngest.
That would have been funny if it was one adult talking about another as in teasing.....but this came from my 8 year old daughter's mouth. I was stunned. I couldn't believe she actually just said that.
I said that wasn't very nice(to my older child). She just continued watching Dora the Explorer. My little one didn't even recognize what was said and she was sitting there very happily, singing and talking away.
I couldn't even be mad at her. Should I? I'm very upset with myself right now. My daughter knew what she said and understood what it meant because of the way I had been speaking in front of her.
She's never said a bad word. She does know them and now I know she understands them. It's part of them growing up and part of me realizing that I need to be more careful with my girls' upbringing.
I don't want them to think that this is okay. This language isn't normal and it should be spoken like that so casually.
From here on....I'm changing.
Thanks for reading....if you're still reading.
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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danlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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kids say the darndest things... you are a good mother, so dont let it get to you too much. kids pick up stuff from everywhere nowadays.
-------------------- "Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"
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ClammyJoe
Azurescen Head
Registered: 11/03/05
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Loc: PNW
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It's commendable Desiree, have to make sure your kids grow up right, and I've seen that it often means that people have to work on themselves as much their kids to make it happen.
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Who the fuck cares?
And I mean that in the best way possible. So people make assumptions about you and your family based on a internet forum? Who cares? Fuck them. As long as you know you're a good mother, and your kids know it, fuck everybody else. Nothing else matters regarding that.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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cybrbeast
Up, then down, then...
Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 4,777
Loc: event horizon
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What she said has nothing to do with cursing though. That's more teasing like you said which is normal for children (and adults) AFAIK. I wouldn't mind cursing around my (hypothetical) children, I hope they will curse when they are old and feel bad about something. I'd also drink and smoke dope around them, it's their choice in the end. Tripping I'd do somewhere else cause it would be too confusing for me and my kids.
-------------------- futuretribe.space
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Children cussing is overrated anyway. I started cussing very young and haven't stopped since. And guess what? I don't give a fuck. I have a gift with words including the swear ones.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
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I don't really care what people online say most of the time. However, anytime someone brings up something as personal as children, then it can aggrivate me a little. Of course, no one would know I have kids unless I mention them to begin with. I knew that risk from the gate. I do become friendly with people here and from myspace. I've met people from here and there. So sometimes, I do take a small portion of things personally.
She didn't say ASS, but she knew what I was talking about and I guess it just upset me. Maybe I'm overthinking it too much.
I still need to make some personal changes though. It's part oof a choice I made when deciding to become a parent.
Thanks for the comments guys.
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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eris
underground
Registered: 11/17/98
Posts: 48,024
Loc: North East, USA
Last seen: 6 months, 15 days
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It doesn't sound like a big deal. Kids often curse amongst themselves anyways.. behind their parent's backs. My parents didn't really swear much around me, but when I was really young and with friends, I would swear just for the hell of it. What real harm comes out of kids swearing anyway? I don't think it even really matters.
-------------------- Immortal / Temporarily Retired The OG Thread Killer My mushroom hunting gallery
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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I couldn't even be mad at her. Should I
Why should you be mad that you daughter is maturing, in how she thinks? If you had said "It smells bad in here" Your daughter could have made the same comment.
you "It smells bad in here"
daughter "That's because Cheyanne won't stop talking."
My daughter knew what she said and understood what it meant because of the way I had been speaking in front of her.
She understood, because she is growing up.....mentally and physically. You using the word "ass" in front of her, is not the reason she said that.
She's never said a bad word.
She still hasn't said any "bad word". What was the "bad word" in "That's because Cheyanne won't stop talking."
She was picking on her sibling....which is perfectly natural.
This language isn't normal and it should be spoken like that so casually.
Ever heard of sibling rivalry?
I would bet that your children will be saying (and doing) MUCH worse things to each other in the future.
Don't sweat the little shit......
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
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Re: My mistake [Re: niteowl]
#5758577 - 06/16/06 08:10 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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I used to be much harder on them. I remember getting on their case for picking flowers at a Taco Bell. I was upset that they were touching something that didn't belong to them. Funny, someone from the shroomery was with me at the time and they said the same thing.
"Let them pick the flowers"
I took it the same way...."Don't sweat the little things"
From then on....I've laid off of them.
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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KaptKid
Spaced Pirate
Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 6,252
Loc: Bright Side of the Sun
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Your a good Mom. Thats all that matters.
I raised my daughter by myself. She turned out great even with all my bad habits.
-------------------- Child of the 60's, Tripping ever since.
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Acyl
cyanidepoisoning
Registered: 12/13/05
Posts: 4,472
Loc: N.W.T.
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Re: My mistake [Re: KaptKid]
#5758837 - 06/16/06 09:34 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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If they havent started saying those words I dont think there is a problem. They know what the words mean (roughly) and dont feel the need to use them, isnt that better?
Who knows, I certainly dont.
-------------------- 1 ,2
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wrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
Registered: 08/11/02
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lol
i remember that.
im glad you let her pick flowers now.
-------------------- how's your WOW? Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM)
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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On a fucked up note, a friend of mine deals. Today he had a guy come there with his wife and kids to buy pot. I can't think of anything more disturbing.
The dude brought his wife and kids with him to a FUCKING DRUG DEAL? What the fuck? I know this guy(buying) is never going anywhere in life, but still, the dude brought his kids with him to buy drugs. WHAT THE FUCK? I can't imagine a worse parent.
The whole time I was thinking "Holy shit, I wish wasn't here, this is fucking awful."
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goobler
Reanimated
Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 48,909
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yea its hard Des...I don't swear so I have that covered
my oldest has aquired the use of the word 'crap' because my wife said something was crap... now everything is crap or crappy, funny but at the same time not good
last night he my mobile was ringing and he told me to 'turn that crap off' I laughed but I shouldn't have
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Liquidkick
H2O
Registered: 05/03/02
Posts: 2,635
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jeebus
how many kids do you have?
Change filter in AC it might help.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
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2
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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Liz
Owl Lady
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Des, I've been dealing with (sort of) the same issue lately. I swear like a truck driver, and almost always have. Now I have a full time job watching a baby, and I have made a promise with myself not to swear in front of her. If her first words were "Fucking Yankees" due to watching a baseball game with me, I'd never forgive myself. It's hard though, because it's so 2nd nature to me to curse.
You sound like you've got your priorities straight, and you sound like a responsible parent. No drugs in front of them or near them, etc. The fact of the matter is, parents make mistakes, inevitably. You can't beat yourself up about it. The fact that your daughter may have picked up some of your sarcasm or language just means that she's probably also picke dup some of your good traits, which I would say far outweigh the bad ones. Kids are going to hear bad language, whether it come from you, or TV, or their friends...they will eventually hear it. Maybe use the tactic from "Old School" and when you just NEED to swear, tell them "earmuffs"
Keep up the good work, and don't sweat the little stuff.
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: My mistake [Re: Liz]
#5760445 - 06/17/06 12:04 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Liz said: If her first words were "Fucking Yankees" due to watching a baseball game with me, I'd never forgive myself.
I would think that her parents (who I assume are Red Sox fans) would be quite proud of first words such as those.
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 61,026
Loc: the sky
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Yeah. Fuckin' Red Sox fans.
-------------------- Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake. -Erik Davis
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs
Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,175
Last seen: 5 months, 8 days
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I might have given you a hard time in the past (or not, I'm not quite sure), but you seem like a rea stand-up person (and parent). I wouldn't beat yourself up over that. You sound like you're doing a darn fine job parenting, and you just have to come to grips that your little girl is growing up. As much as you would like, you can't keep them innocent forever. Just keep doing what you're doing now, and I'm positive you'll end up with some great grown-up kids.
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faslimy
Dead Man
Registered: 04/04/04
Posts: 3,436
Last seen: 8 years, 3 months
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Re: My mistake [Re: Redstorm]
#5760479 - 06/17/06 12:20 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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my neeces are staying the night and they are 4 and 6, the 4 year old knows how to use the word fuck in proper context and when i was making toast for the 6 year old i asked her if she had smooth or crunchy peanut butter at home and she said 'oh, we only have that smooth shit'
i was impressed
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RandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
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Re: My mistake [Re: Redstorm]
#5760493 - 06/17/06 12:30 PM (17 years, 9 months ago) |
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Redstorm just opened his mouth so it smells like ass in here.
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs
Registered: 10/08/02
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Liz
Owl Lady
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Quote:
RandalFlagg said:
Quote:
Liz said: If her first words were "Fucking Yankees" due to watching a baseball game with me, I'd never forgive myself.
I would think that her parents (who I assume are Red Sox fans) would be quite proud of first words such as those.
Her father is a Yankees fan.
-------------------- Remember, remember the fifth of November The gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
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Thank you everyone.
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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CaRnAgECaNdY
Tool's groupie
Registered: 04/09/04
Posts: 11,505
Loc: Billy Howerdel's closet
Last seen: 8 months, 20 days
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This is on another different note, but I wanted to share because I thought it was funny.
My little one says some funny shit sometimes. Very cute. My 8 year old was having a caughing fit. Probably caused by the damn AC. Anyway...my little one looks at her kinda worried-like, then looks at me and says, "Maybe her breath is stuck"
I thought it was funny and cute.
That is all. Thank you all again for your comments. They helped me.
-------------------- The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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