Not that anyone here really cares, but I thought this was an interesting and seemingly friendly topic. First of all, I think I am in an alternating state of extreme comnplexity and moderate simplicity. Careerwise, one might say I am in a midlife crises. Not the typical kind where man freeaks out and buys a Ferrari, dumps his wife/kids and gets a young hot girlfriend. Mine is something of the opposite. I quit a good paying job with lots of incentives as a salesman for the top computer manufacturer in the US, maybe the world. I left one of the city to live in the country with my little sister and mom. I know I'm sounding more and more like a looser all the time, right? I got rid of my car because I hate cars for philospical/environmental reasons. And I've been unemployed for almost two years with no girlfriend (the least of my troubles). So, yeah, I know that may seem pretty lame to most people. Obviously, I don't care what anyone thinks. And althogh I don't see a shrink, I'm pretty sure I could be diagnosed with some sort of depression or illness. Because, let's face it, everything is a disorder these days. You work too much or not enough, sleep to much or not enough, have sex too much... wait that's not a problem. Well, you get the idea. Basically, I've diagnosed myself as crazy even though in all actuallity, If I was crazy, I would not know it. So there you go, that's my complexity. Big whoop. As for my beliefs which are ever changing/growing/evolving, whatever, I'd have to say I carry grave anxiety over the future of the planet and mans relationship with it. I was a politician in college and was heading toward a career in diplomacy when I realized how fucking crazy the world was and that I couldn't possibly have much affect on it as much of an idealist as I was. College really fucked me up. It's where I learned about Multinational Corporations squeezing the life force out of desperate foreign workforces, disappearing rainforests, disappearing species, shrinking resources, etc, etc, etc. So, I ran away from it all, found myself a capable salesman, freaked out because I realized I wasn't helping the world become a better place nor was I making myself a better person. Now, I'm just living in the country studying guitar, being an amatuer digital photographer, mycologist. I am attempting to return to the spirit of "goodness". I think I might be becoming what is referred to as a naturalist. I find myself fascinated with micro-organisims, insects, birds, fish, etc. And I'm astounded by the joy and beauty they bring. I am amazed by how wonderful they are and how stupid I was for never realizing to the extent that I now do. I'm also blown away by how little most Americans know about thier dissapearing environment. And I don't blame them because I was recently in such a state. The only thing I can compare it to is being ripped out of The Matrix only to find a completely new and real world.
-------------------- The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.
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