Fear of losing control would definitely be a very real and dangerous problem going into a strong trip. You, judging from what you have said, are not ready for a heavy dose. Give me a minute and I'll find a post I made earlier about losing control (the post was actually about obtaining ego-loss, but it may help you all the same).
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Lysergic_Milkman said: (DISCLAIMER: the information below is drawn from the personal experiences of a seasoned tripper, not from facts or statistics.)
Losing one's ego is a difficult task for many, and seemingly natural for others. There really is no 'in-between' that I've seen. Either one extreme or the other. There is no special trick to 'letting go', just treat it like you would any other problem. If one method doesn't work for you, find a different solution to the problem. Try looking at the problem from a different perspective. for example, try just wording your goals differently. Instead of trying to 'let go', stop yourself from trying to 'keep control'. From that point of view, I believe the problem appears simpler (it is easier to lose than it is to gain). Next, identify what it is that gives you control, or the want of it. 1.) fear of death is an obvious reason to want control [believe it or not, this is one of the easier ones to get rid of (in my opinion)]. If you eliminate this, then there is less of a need for control. This is one of the first factors that I deal with, and it goes like this: I never try to eliminate fear of death while sober, too hard. I always do this after dosing, either on the come-up or at the verge of the peak. I recite to myself, "Whatever happens, happens, and that's just what's going to happen. I can't change that, and I accept it." Once you've realized that you really have no control over what happens to you (a profound epiphany the first time it happens), then everything just seems to get better, like a huge weight lifted off of your chest. The "fuck it" attitude comes into play, and you will find yourself filled with bliss as the worries that inhibit your daily life dissolve in front of you (literally, sometimes). (Note: the "fearless" mantra, as I call it, has also helped me out of several bad spots mid trip. Turned it around completely. Just remember that next time you start going down that black spiral)
2.) Fear of the unknown is another reason people want to keep control. Again, the 'fearless' mantra helps with this, but not always as much. Because the unknown is what it is, unknown, fear of it can spawn out of nothing. To keep it from coming back, one must either repeat their mantra constantly to keep themselves in the fearless state of mind, or keep it embedded in their souls. If you grasp and hold the idea of fearlessness firmly, then it will stick with you long enough for the ego to be killed.
3.) Fear of self is the big one, the one that stops many people dead in their tracks. It is impossible for the human mind to comprehend non-existence (just try and think about what it would be like if there were no universe), and if one is not careful for what becomes of one's self, then one must also not be fearful of wasting one's life, of living without experience. Such an attitude could only be in favor of non-existence. This is the part where the 'I' must go, the part where you struggle. This is where psychedelics come into play. "So how do we go about getting rid of 'I'?" you ask. Technically, it cannot be destroyed, in part for the complicated reason stated above. Instead, we must "forget" about 'I'. One way to do this is to get so far away from 'I' that one cannot remember what 'I' is like, and must start consciousness over, without 'I'. In other words, you must shift your perspective to the point where 'I' becomes disconnected from 'me'. How you go about this is up to you, as I could not tell you how to forget about I exactly, but I can give you a hint: You will know when your perspective has shifted enough when you are able to view 'I' objectively, when you are able to look at 'I' and analyze it without being "in 'I's shoes". When this occurs, then you know that you have disconnected 'I' from 'me'.
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